Question:
problem with my son PLEASE HELP !!!!!!!!!!?
2012-06-26 09:57:12 UTC
every time i checked the browsing history after my son was on the PC it was deleted but now he forgot to delete it and his whole history was full of redtube pornhub and youporn

what can i do?
Ten answers:
Tim Brawner
2012-06-26 10:50:31 UTC
1.) Firstt things first. Print out the history and confront him with it. You need to hold him responsible for his actions and choices, and the first step in that is confrontation.



2.) Cut off his source. Password protect the computer and set it up to where he can only have access when you are there to watch him. Some people would argue over this being too extreme, but the simple truth is that he has violated your trust and this is a consequence of that.



3.) You need to establish an environment of accountability. Part of the reason he's done this is because he could without consequence. (Please don't take that as me saying "YOU FAILED," because that's not what I am getting at. I'm simply saying that he's taken advantage of the lack of accountability.) A good first step would be to install either a filter or some type of monitor on the computer. One good one is Covenant Eyes. It charges about $8/month, but it catches every website that is browsed along with a rating of the content, and I think it also registers when FTP programs are used. (IE, FrostWire). The great thing about this monitor is that it requires you to be logged in and the monitor open, or else your internet connection can't receive information. It can then send you an email as often as every week showing you a summary of internet activity with a rating. I believe they also have a filter available, but I've never worked with it so I can't tell you how reliable it is. The monitor itself, though, is very good and I've never noticed any slow downs on systems that have it installed.



4.) Try to find out where he was exposed to this initially. If it was a group of his friends at school, then you'll need to decide what measures are appropriate in regards to these friends. (Whether it's informing their parents, or limiting your son's interactions with them.) Again, this seems extreme, but you have to realize that these parents may not know their kids are doing this, either. Aside from that, if they have exposed your son to this, you have to question what else he would be exposed to.



5.) This may sound extreme, but it may not be a bad idea to see if counseling might be needed. Being exposed to pornography at an early age can have pretty adverse affects on a kid. (I know this from experience) In all truth, your son has seen things he shouldn't have in his mind at this age. Pornography has long been known to have a warping effect on the mind, and it is often a source of development problems in our society. Granted, your son is 13 and he may just be going out of curiosity.. but he's at an age when his hormones are kicking in. He's putting images of a fantasy world in his mind that are painting a picture to him that this is what intimacy between two people looks like, and it is damaging. At the very least, you need to have conversations with him to counter these pictures and correct it. After talking with him, you can determine if counseling is appropriate.



6.) I put this last, but this is the absolute most important thing. Make sure you do not react in a way that suggests you are appalled at HIM. Put the focus on his ACTIONS, not his identity. This is something that will likely feel very humiliating for him, so you need to make sure that you address it in a way that doesn't shut him down or make him hesitant to talk with you. While you may have varying emotions over this discovery (such as anger, shock, etc), you need to make sure you communicate and act in a way that says "Son, I am not happy with what you did, and there are consequences. But I will walk through this with you, answer your questions, and guide you in the way you need to conduct yourself."



I really hope this helps and gives you some insight on how to go from here.
?
2016-09-24 09:49:13 UTC
Recent or no longer, he is absolutely disappointed approximately the wedding. More than most probably, he nonetheless thinks you and his father gets again in combination. I realize its no longer logical, however he is a 9yr ancient youngster, he does not ought to be logical. Maybe he is additionally afraid of having misplaced in a institution of children, chiefly if he is the oldest or the youngest of yours and would possibly not be on this new mixed household. Your punishment is useless and out of line. You are telling him that you'll throw him away at each time for the reason that you do not approve of his conduct. You ought to use "matters" to punish, no longer individuals. The message you're sending him is that being despatched to his father is whatever poor. Again, you ought to see this by way of his eyes, no longer yours. You would have taken whatever away, grounded him from television or the laptop, make him blank whatever, that style of factor. You must get him into counseling proper now. He's performing out in a bodily means, hitting and throwing matters don't seem to be appropriate approaches of dealing with anger, and also you ought to supply him a few bigger equipment. Have you notion approximately the truth that he has been the person of the residence for really many years, and now you're changing him? Again, see matters by way of his eyes, no longer yours. I think in consistancy and under no circumstances threatening some thing that you're no longer inclined to convey by way of. I suppose you must speak on your son approximately what's going on with him. I think you must get a manage on it and that's extra predominant than punishment at this factor. I could inform him you made a foul option, and that alternatively of what you selected, he's going to must do X quantity of chores to pay off for the image he broke. Call the college approximately a counselor, and there possibly a divorced children aid institution that he can perform. Maybe his disorders approximately your divorce are simply coming to gentle for the reason that of the impending marriage. Good good fortune and satisfactory needs.
2012-06-26 10:21:23 UTC
boys will be boys.. all young boys go through this, he is probably just curious.

If you sit down with him and maybe have the "sex talk" with him, or maybe have his dad, or some male role model in his life talk to him about it.

you can put parental blocks on his computer, or move the computer to a more public place in the house?

But, he is just likely curious, and wants to learn more.. going through puberty for boys can be hard too!
2012-06-26 10:01:59 UTC
Studies come first. Can you put a block on those websites? Or I think I would confront my son and let him know that I know what he's doing. I would watch him from now on when he's on the computer or enroll him in a bunch of activities that keep him so busy he doesn't have time.
Power
2012-06-26 10:19:03 UTC
it's hard to know with teens. You can't really control anyone elses life. You can put some kind of parental control on it but if he is the type that is going to do what he wants and not listen you are ot able to do anything.
Bella
2012-06-26 10:11:32 UTC
Time to sit and have a chat about appropriate websites and maybe about the birds and the bees. Kids who regularly receive knowledge from their parents will not look to find answers on-line.
Mark
2012-06-26 10:00:56 UTC
He is becoming a man. Don't do anything. but you might want to talk to him about it because you don't want him to start walking up to random girls on the street and asking them to go and have sex with him for money. Life is not always like porn Movies.
Addisyn
2012-06-26 10:00:33 UTC
dont look at the browsing history, teenagers like there privacy.

pluse he's a boy. boys will be boys and all.
?
2012-06-26 10:15:09 UTC
you can put parental locks on the internet search. this would stop him from looking at these porn sites.
Nicole
2012-06-26 10:02:00 UTC
Say " so how is all that porn you've been looking at" then make him explain it all because you have proof


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