Leaving Children Home Alone--- How Young is "too young"?

Question

I am a single mom to a 6-year-old starting a new job with strictly 17 days of PTO a yr and no paid holidays. While I have NOT left him home alone before, he has been increasingly requesting to be left home alone (i.e. when I am running to store, to pick someone up, to run the trash to the dump, etc.). Of course, I have always said no, however, I have been heavily considering conditioning him to stay home for 15-30 minutes by himself.

Up until this point, he has had significant time left alone within our 4 walls, while I am home. I have worked many overnight shifts, occasionally he is left to fend for himself while I sleep for 3-4 hours. He knows how to use Netflix and I always make him a big plate of snacks. He also plays outside in the backyard for 30 minutes at a time.

Ideally, it would be convenient to leave him home alone under dire circumstances, like can't find a sitter on a holiday, Friday's when the free summer program isn't in session, etc.

I would like to start conditioning him now, by leaving him alone here and there for 15-20 minutes while just driving around the block or running to the grocery store a quarter mile away. I would teach him how to use the phone, contact emergency services, and lay down ground rules. While I feel like this is reasonable, so many people are against it and I fear CPS will be called even though I would consider myself and active and loving parent.

What age did you begin leaving your kids alone for short periods of time?

Answer 1

Too dangerous! When my kids were 12/13 they were allowed an hour at home with phone numbers and specific directions while I got groceries. The hours increased with each birthday.

Answer 2

How would he cope if there was a fire? Or other emergency? Six is far too young to be left.

Answer 3

Leaving a child alone under the age of 10 is too young in my opinion.

Answer 4

Nope. It's illegal to leave a child alone. Check your local laws, but you probably can't do this before age 10 or so legally.



You can leave your child so you can take a nap, no problem. You can let them play in your yard, no problem. But you can't leave the house.



Look at it this way: how long does it take for a child to start a fire? A minute? Less? That's why you can't leave them alone. How long would it take for a stranger to ring your doorbell and have your child open the door and the stranger to put them in a van and take them away? That's why you can't leave the house.



Look into Boys & Girls Club to have a place for him to go after school and during holidays. Call 211 if it exists where you live and ask about programs. Talk to neighbors and friends about being able to watch him while you run errands. But you don't leave him alone no matter what the excuse.



Google "child left alone" and read some nightmare stories if you still think this is a good idea.

Answer 5

Of course you don't leave a six year old home by themselves, that's completely irresponsible and is against the law. If you have to work and need someone to look after him, either hire a babysitter or put him in daycare ( yes they do have daycares that accept kids his age). If you leave him home alone then he'll most likely get hurt or even worse, especially if you live in a bad neighborhood. Tell him that when he's twelve, he'll be allowed to stay home by himself.

Answer 6

You do realize you answered your own question when you mentioned the FEAR of CPS being called.



Obviously if you are concerned that CPS would be called, then you KNOW that six is TOO YOUNG to be left alone.



The laws vary slightly in each state. Some states consider it alright to leave a child alone for SHORT periods of time after the age of 9. (age 9 to 12). These same states usually consider the age of 13 to be a suitable age for babysitting. Some states have guidelines that help you evaluate your child's readiness to be left alone. But even in those states, I doubt that they would consider 6 years old to be old enough even for 15 to 30 minutes.



Check this website for more information. Find your state and check out info for your state.



https://www.workingmother.com/when-can-you-leave-your-kids-home-alone#page-2



BTW - if your child is insisting on being left home alone, you can always pretend to leave and then hide someplace to observe his behavior. Nanny cams that you can watch from your phone while hiding in your own yard would be a great way to know exactly what your child would do if left alone. BUT DO NOT ACTUALLY LEAVE A SIX YEAR OLD CHILD ALONE.



Personally, I have two children, so I never had to deal with what age would be okay to leave one child home alone. I had to decide at what age I could trust the older one not to kill the younger one if I left them home alone. (joking - but the age gap between them did cause some sibling fighting.) I would take my younger one with me and leave my older one at home for short periods at the age of 11. I started leaving them both home alone for short periods of time when the older one was 13. At that point, the younger one was 9.

Answer 7

Not at six. Not until he's at least twelve.

Answer 8

I assume this is a troll because no responsible parent would ask this. A 6 year should never be left unsupervised and home alone.





You need a license to drive a car and to own a gun but not to parent.....it's crazy.

Answer 9

A 6 year old shouldn't be left home alone......in some places it's illegal

Answer 10

We never did because the people around us are psychotic. However, what we did do was sent our child to day camp in the summer. She would be out all day at camp, then come home. It gave her a sense of independence where we did not need to be home all of the time. However the theoretical cut off is 12 around here.

When I was about that age, I would arrive home on the bus and be home until the parents arrived home. Then when summer came, I was either home or at camp. Yes I was alone or my brother was there. But I knew how to take care of my self and cook things. That is what you should do is teach your child how to make things for lunch and dinner. So that he can get use to things like the Toster, microwave, or making simple things like PB&J sandwiches. All simple warm up stuff, or things like lunchables(but they are expensive). I also had full access to entertainment in the house, TV etc and a select few channels to watch. Things to keep me busy.



6 is a bit young, but those little times away can help him to be more independent. The biggest thing is the environment that you live in. Some places, are better than others. If you in a city, its a lot different from the superb or country side. Good luck

Answer 11

my parents would leave me home alone four hours by the age of 5, he should be fine

Answer 12

No child under 10 should ever be left entirely alone at home. They are not 'alone' if you are somewhere in the home and they know where to find you if there is a problem.



Between 10 and 12 it is ok to leave them for say 15 minutes (max 30) whilst you pop to a local shop, again as long as they know where you will be going and approximately how long you will be away.



Older than that you can leave them for several hours if you believe they can cope. However they MUST have a means of contacting you.



This 'advice' is subject to any local child protection laws, which may specify older ages for children to bereft alone.



Incidentally, nobody under 18 should be employed to 'babysit' any child and until they are at least 14, not left to supervise whilst you run short errands.

Answer 13

How young is too young?

Six is too young.

Answer 14

Six is too young.



You will have to check your state law - in many states it is illegal to leave a child alone who is under the age of 10.

Answer 15

Kids youngr than 8 should not be left

alone at all w/o any adult waching over them

but by I5 most should be abl to last several

hrs alone.

Answer 16

it comes down to the maturity of the child..

So if your child is mature at age 9 or 10 then okay

Answer 17

You know, I sometimes think that in general many Americans are helicopter parents compared to what's normal where I live. Most people on this site would be shocked and outraged to know at what age I let my kids - together but unsupervised - walk to the playground around the corner. While people who live here consider it very normal.



My oldest also started requesting to be left home alone at 6, for instance when I went to the grocery store, which takes about 20 minutes there and back. Well, cute that he was already feeling so independent, but I would have left him home alone at that age only if I had wanted to come back to find that he had set the house on fire with himself in it.

Answer 18

Six is far too young, sorry lady, kids come first

Answer 19

I assume this is a troll because no one is that stupid, but on the off chance I'm wrong...



Of course you don't leave a 6-year-old home alone. Ever. Not for ten minutes. Not for the holiday. Not when you have a date and can't find a sitter. Never.

Answer 20

I hope you aren't serious and that this is a joke. From a parenting point of view, your child is not old enough to be left alone at age 6. No matter where you live, how safe your neighborhood is and how much you think you can 'train' a six year old to stay by himself. There are things that can (and will) happen that he CANNOT handle. Emergencies, both physical and household related can occur. How will he handle an injury? Is he going to freak (as most kids do) if he's hurt and not know how to reach 911 emergency services, etc. There are just so many things that happen during the course of normal life that a child of that age would not be able to keep up with. Leaving him alone for more than 5 or 10 minutes will make you a candidate for a CPS visit. You will have to work something out, maybe have him stay with a neighbor for the period of time that you are gone. Make friends with other mothers to have 'play dates' and after school pickups. Even if you cannot fully afford daycare or after school care, there are other things you can arrange that don't leave your child alone and at risk.

Answer 21

Considering your situation, I’d say go for it. He seems like a pretty responsible boy. You did a good job raising him.

Answer 22

I'm convinced my 10 year old is cool to be left alone for short spurts of time but law here is 12 years old so I don't leave him alone for fear of CPS being called. We had a run in with them before where this crackwh*re in the apartment above ours called them and said a bunch of lies and even when you prove there is nothing going on and everything they were told is lies they continue to bother you for months. She called them because I refused to give her my wifi password lol.