I know it's not really parenting but you guys give great advice! (long)?

Question

I used to have this best friend, she was great, different and a little paranoid, sometimes very paranoid as am I, I'm pretty sure a few of the issues stem from there, she's a year older than me and we became friends in her last year of HS, we used to do everything together and I was at her house at least 3 times a week and slept over pretty much every weekend, when she finished school I moved to a different one and lost my phone, she also changed her number around the same time and we lost touch for several months, when I found out I was pregnant with my first I sought her out and tried to rekindle our friendship, she was a little reluctant (this comes the paranoia) as she felt I had given up our friendship for my boyfriend (now ex) but was giving it a tentative effort and for several months we where shaky friends again.

Now when my son was about 3 months old my ex pretending to be me told this friend that I wanted to have sex with her (she's bi) he had a uncanny ability for hacking into my email and facebook and such, anyway I found out what he had done and tried to fix things up with her but needless to say she felt cheap and used and such but told me she'd try to visit me later that week, well she never came and I didn't hear from her again, this was several years ago.

A couple of weeks ago I found her on facebook and added her and we had a huge talk where she revealed to me that she had also received an email from *me* claiming that she was a ***** and hated my kids and blah blah blah and we sort of cleared the air, I explained everything to her, including that my ex was abusive and that my mother had died and she agreed to trying the friendship again, however that's been it, I invited her out to lunch this week, she said she was pretty busy but would let me know if she was free and never did, she ignores messages I send her and I just get the feeling that she only said she'd be friends with me out of pity and really has no intention of doing so (paranoia on my side) and I don't really know what to do, should I say something about how I'm feeling, I'm worried if I do she'll just feel more sorry for me but if I don't then she might just think every things fine, I feel like she's such a huge part of my life and I don't even register in hers! I need advice! help!!!!

BQ: for parenting sake, do your kids have any friends they consider family?

Answer 1

One quote that I live by goes like this: 'Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.' -- Don't make someone a priority if they only consider you an option.



It seems like you have made enough attempts to be her friend and be in her life again. That's really all you can do. If she doesn't meet you halfway and ignores you then you are better off letting things go for now and continue on with your life. It'll save you some disappointment in the long run if you don't expect for your plans with her to go through. I've had friends just like this situation, and unfortunately I've had to just carry on and let them come around, or delete them from my life if the need be (in cases where they leave me feeling very hurt).



BQ: My son isn't at an age to have friends, so no, not yet.

Answer 2

i do no longer even understand what you try to show out and what do you go with anybody to react into it. That helpful is an prolonged tale. All i can declare is which you wasted it slow wandering around letting somebody look ahead to you while in reality you need to spoke back him the reality. This guy is unquestionably a great seize! properly from what you suggested, he's even hardworking and to blame. and additionally that is a foul undertaking to lie, you're in a complicated dating yet that does no longer mean you may play around along with his emotions. that is comprehensible that the two one in each of you would be mad. anybody could be mad. you in simple terms could desire to attend and see with one yet another. in case you nevertheless like him, tell him what he has been to you and fasten issues up from then on. reliable luck! :)

Answer 3

this is coming from a teen- but i think you need to let it go, its possible she feels like "you" are going to hurt her again so she may be ignoring you because of that, you guys both dont need to have a person like that in your life, the occasional hi how are you i think is fine but i dont think a friend ship should happen. and i mean your ex by you

BQ- i am not a parent but i dont i never really thought of that.

Answer 4

I would just let it go and accept that maybe your friendship is in the past. To be nice, you could drop her an email sporadically to see how she is doing, but don't push it right now with addressing her with your feelings. It might push her away more.

Answer 5

It sounds like she has moved on, and is involved in her own life.



I would just issue an invitation now and then, and if she accepts, fine. If she doesn't, that is fine, too.



Time for you to make new friends.