Do you think moms should stay at home with their kids?

Question

I'm a stay at home mom. I think all moms should stay at home with their young children. I think its very important for a child to know that their mommy or daddy will ALWAYS be there for them. I sets them up for a good relationship with their parents in the future. I think that fathers who don't make enough money for their wives to stay at home are lazy and incompetant. There is just no excuse if you ask me, a man should be a man and support his family. I understand moms working if there is a specific legitamit money situation. But I think if they are just working because they want to work it is selfish, and they don't care about their childrens development. I think its all on the father though really, he should make enough money so the mom can stay home. If he does make the money and the mom wants to work anyway then its all on her...what does everyone else think about mothers working?? I don't want to make any one angry...its just the way I see it. I want to know why you might think

Answer 1

I am a stay at home Mom, but not by choice. I love all of my children and I feel I am their for them when they need me. I need to work to help supplement my husbands income. However I am unable to work and don't know if I will be able to return to work at this point.



I do not have a "Old school" mentality. I have said before I feel that it is important to have your own personality not to just be "Mommy". I feel the best way to be a "full" person you need to be "Mommy", "Wife", "Sister", "Daughter" & "Carrie". I feel every one needs to lead a life that is best for them; and fulfill them self by being all facets of there life.



I don't think you are putting anyone down however, I fill you may be a little closed minded.



As for the wife of a military man. I know they don't make much. I praise you for making it on just his income. I have been there. I was in the service myself and know how hard it is to make it on just that income and have children.

Answer 2

I stay at home with my two boys during the day. Both under 3 years old. My husband makes enough to keep a roof over our heads and all of our other needs met. I do choose to work at night for a few hours because i enjoy it. I've always felt everyone should have some sort of job out of the house even if it is part time like mine. It keeps you feeling somewhat independent instead of a stay at home mom or dad. It gives you a chance to get away from the house, spouse and children which in turn is good for everyone in the family. I'm lucky that I don't have to put my children in daycare, most parents I don't think want to. But sometimes it is the only option. Not everyone has a husband that can make enough money to pay all their bills. Its getting harder for people to get by these days and a man should be given more respect for earning a modest income and having a wife that also has to work. He probably gets to spend more time with his family if his wife is working. I would worry more about the workaholic fathers that don't see their children as much. I look at them as lazy and incompetent towards their family.

Answer 3

I've done both. I worked right upto having my son 13 years ago, then stayed at home with him.Then i had 2 more kids and still stayed home. Then after i had my 4th my husband left, so i had to get a job and pay the bills. I was lucky that i took my youngest to work with me, then had to put her in nursery 2 days a week. Now theyre all at school .I started my own business over a year ago, so just work 9.30 am till 3.30pm so can be home for them. I missed being able to be at home with my youngest child. It was heartbreaking having to take her to nursery and pre-school. The worst thing is school holidays. When my other kids were off we had lovely lazy days together all summer. Now i have to work most of the hols, and the kids are farmed out to various friends and relations, or come to work with me! Given the choice, i would be a stay-at-home mum like a shot, without a doubt. You can NEVER ever get back the time you lose with your kids, and it is so precious. Please don't lose the joy of their first teeth, their first step, even someone else potty training them seems wrong to me.And when they're older they need you just as much for things. The fact that youre there when they come in makes them feel secure. All these things can be missed. Just the time spent taking them out and walking with them is wonderful. Appreciate it!

Answer 4

I am a stay at home mom and i don't hold it against other mom's who want to work, not that they have too, cause they want to--there is nothing wrong with that. Because everyone has dreams of what they want to do in life and you only live once, Some mom's dreams maybe to have kids and still work, cause they enjoy there job. And to me that is making there child realize that they to can have there dream and a family and it's ok. My dream was to stay at home and raise my kids while they are still young, but once they start school, I plan on going to work, just cause I will be bored at home by myself, but I will only work part time. So don't judge others just cause they don't view the same way you do.

Answer 5

i love being a stay at home mom, however, i dont believe its right for the man to be the sole source of income, especially if hes not getting paid enough to support the whole family, bills, etc. I believe in a case like that the mother should also work, because its not fair for the man to take full responsibility, the reason im a stay at home mom is because my husband is military, and he gets deployed every other year, and i go back home, so theres no point in getting a job for so many months then just quit and leave, plus he makes good money for what hes doing,when hes deployed that is... but when we find a place where well be for awhile and not get deployed ever other year, id like to get a job to help him bring in the income so hes not bustin his *** on his own, because believe it or not, military doesnt make that much money no matter what any of you think

Answer 6

I think if a mom wants to stay home for the first year it's okay. I also think though if you are raising a little girl that the mom should have a desent job and teach her, that she needs to know that she can hold her owne ground and doesn't need a anyone when she get's older. I am a mother of three boy's

and I'm a stay at home mom for the past 10 years.

Answer 7

First of all I think that it is very wrong of you to judge other people when you are not in their situation. I am a mother of two and I work because I have to. My husband does not make enough money to support our family and in no way is he lazy and incompetant. He works hard, 10 hours a day out in the sun trying to put food on the table and a roof over our head. I tried to be a stay at home mom and it did not work out because we just didn't have enough money. We have cut out all of the un-nessasary expenses and we are still struggling. I would love to be a stay at home mom but just can't. I also think that every woman has the right to work if she wants to. I believe that women are amazing people that can handle having a job and being a fantastic mom also. I don't think that just because I am at work all day that my children are not getting the love and attention that they deserve. They are both very bright and very smart. My oldest is three and can already write her own name and is learning to write other things. That is only because I took the time to teach her. I know plenty of stay at home parents that stick their children in front of the t.v. all day so that they can do whatever they want to do. Just because you are staying home with your kids doesn't mean that your are always doing right by your kids. I believe that it is not the amount of time that you spend with your children, it is what you do with your children while you are together. As long as you are teaching your children everything they need to know to become responsible, caring, loving adults is does not matter whether you spend 24 hours with them during the day or only 6.

Answer 8

I think mom's should stay at home if the WANT to. Money should not be the hold back if that is what the mom wants. It's a sad society that it's not a choice for everyone.



Now if she wants to work she should. How effective is mom going to be if she is not happy. I stay home because I want to. I like it and it works best for my family. Not everyone is like me and wow how boring would it be if that were the case... It's not selfish at all imo.

Answer 9

Im a stay at home mom too!!! My husband works his BUTT off...I feel bad and have offered to get a job after our third baby is born, but only if he can stay home with the kids...I dont want to put my little ones in a daycare with a bunch of other kids and adults that dont have the same love for them as their parents do ...also becuase I feel that we made the babies and it is our responsibility to raise them...my mom stayed home with all her kids, as did her mother..maybe im old fashioned, but that is the life I truly want..I want to stay home with my babies and spend my time picking up toys, changing diapers, cooking, cleaning, and playing games...watching CARS 3 times a day to the point I know every line in the movie!! LOL...to me it as all worth it and they have the added security knowing that mommy is here whenever they need her...my husband feels the same and has said he would work 3 jobs if he had to...now once my kids are in school I plan on getting a job again..but then again they wont be home for me to look after so I will need something to occupy my mind..LOL....I dont think badly of parents that go back to work...its their decision and that is what they feel is best..and to be honest there are families out there that both parents work a couple of jobs to get by..in their situation they have no choice. And you have single mothers and fathers who have no choice but to work... But..now this is just my opinion (and we all have them) I feel that a child that has a mommy or daddy at home to raise them thrives more so than a child that is put in daycare all the time

Answer 10

My dad works his butt off and has ever since he married my momwhen he was 18.

At first they had plenty of money, but when I was about 2 prices went up and we moved and blah blah blah, my mom had to get a job.



No he isn't lazy. No he isn't incompetant. No me and my bro don't have a bad relationship with our parents, our relationship with them is GREAT.



There is nothing wrong with babysitters or daycares that are good and reliable. Just because you have the luxury of being able to stay home with your child doesn't mean every body does. And what sign is that showing a young girl anyways? "A womans place is in the home, in the kitchen and with the kids" uh, no. If a woman wants a job then she should be able to get one, even if she doesnt NEED to have one.



Not all women can stand being with kids 24/7 and never having ADULT interaction.



You give stay at home mothers a bad name.

Answer 11

Wow, thank God I am not as judgmental as you! You didn't ask a question, you posted a rant. Do you feel better now that you have insulted numerous working moms and their husbands? I sure wish I was as perfect as you.



Instead of stereotyping all working moms as if we are career loving, selfish, and don't love our kids as much as a stay at home mom, why don't you look at each situation on its own? Same for stereotyping their husbands as lazy. Not all men have the same education or skill level. What if all is life a man has only known how to be a mechanic? Even though he works 60+ hours a week, does it still make him lazy because he doesn't make enough money to totally support his family on his own? Good grief, you should be grateful that they are actually working and not letting the state support their kids.



Raising a child means teaching them manners, how to be a valuable adult, teaching them love kindness, providing for their needs and desires, and loving them unconditionally. Working parents are fully capable of doing all of that.



Do you not think that in most families, if they had the choice, the fathers would love to be able to make enough money that their wife could stay at home with the kids? A man can't decide that he wants to make $40,000.00 and POOF it happens. It all depends on each individual man. It isn't really your business anyways. Who are you to judge anyone else? You live your life, and don't worry about how another family chooses or needs to live theirs.



Be grateful that you can stay home with your kids everyday. Unfortunatly, there are many families that need both the mom and the dad to work, in order to raise their kids in the way they think they need to. Perhaps scraping by is not how many parents feel is the best way to raise their kids. Perhaps many parents don't want to make their kids do without. It is their business, not yours, and you have no right to judge or put them down for their choice. It is THEIR choice.

Answer 12

I would love to stay at home and take care of the child I am expecting in September. My husband is a hard worker, but he just graduated from college and his starting salary is not enough. I will definately cut my hours drastically once the baby comes because I feel that it is important to bond with your children in the first years. I think you should consider yourself blessed that you are able to stay home and that your husband makes enough to take care of you all, but do not be so judgmental and hard on the working mothers and fathers out there that are not as fortunate.

Answer 13

I have two kids and I work and so does my husband. My husband has a great job and earns good money, but not enough to keep it so I could stay home. That does not make my husband less of a man, at least in my eyes.



I work because I have to but I think I would even work at least part-time if I didn't have to. Contrary to your belief, my kids know that their mommy and daddy WILL be there for them.



I'd love to know what you think about dad's who stay home and the moms go to work. I'm sure that just simply amazes you.

Answer 14

I'm a stay at home Mom, it's wonderful! But I would never look down on someone for working!!! People do what they gotta do, and some people just like to work.. and thats fine too. Just because you have children doesn't have to mean that you loose all sense of self, and stop doing what you love. You can be a great parent and still work.

Answer 15

Girl you have been reading books form the 50's on surrendered wives. An dmaking mammas boys/girls since the dad is always away working.

Yes I agree parents should be int he lives of their children but if you are all they have when will they learn to be individuals, and gain confidence in themselves for themselves.

It's great to have to oportunity to stay home with your children and have your husband working and making ends meet that way. But with both parents working you can have a better future for your children. They in turn begin to realize that things come from work and determination.

And as for dayschool teachers not caring for children you are far behind. Todays preschool standards are high and you have to have an education to be considered too. Plus it is also the parents duty to find and scout out the best school for your children to be at. As parents you know when a person is real of fake. I myself am a preschool teacher and when MY kids arrive and are signed over to me no body better mess with them or disrespect them. I am their parent, they are my responsibility and it is up to me to make them social and individuals. I have to encurage them to see their worth. help them strive to become more in life disreguarding whatever their conditions may be at home rich/poor, they each need to see that to become more they have to be organized and willing beings.

Answer 16

i think that if you want to stay at home withy your kids that it is ok untill maybe your kids are in like 2nd or 3rd grade. thats what my mom did.

i liked it when i was younger i could come home to my mom cleaning and she could help me do my homework or whatever but when i was in like 3rd or 4th grade she sent me to a thing at our local rec center and put us in a program where we could play basketball, swim and hang out with kids our age. (more or less like a day care but not just watching movies we played interacttive and active games.)

Answer 17

It is interesting that you have been "saved" for seven years as you have stated in a previous post. As a Christian, have you not learned about not judging? You can have an opinion, but you expect others to follow it, even if its not a good one. You may be better off going to work, so you don't contaminate your children with your odd, derrogatory views.

Answer 18

People must do what they must, but I am a stay at home mom and love it! But... my husband earns enough to do that, or I'd probably have to work! Those who can should, but some cannot and I'd never judge them!

Answer 19

if they can afford to yes. I stay at home, my husband works, we downgraded TONS to make sure i could stay home. I think its more important to give my kids ME then lotsa stuff that i could buy them with money i would make from working.

Answer 20

It's awesome to stay home, but make sure you take your child to play groupd, That's the reason daycare is good they learn to talk faster and they are well adapted to kids and being without you. Try and limit seperation anxiety.

Answer 21

Oh, dear!

So what we have here must be one very smug, self-righteous person who looks down upon all who disagree with her.



I pity you, "#1 MOM".

You have no room in your life or your heart for compassion and understanding of other people.



It is certainly my sincere wish that your children do not grow up just like you.

The world is bigger than the insulated environment you surround yourself in.

Answer 22

I hope this is a 12-year-old trying to get opinions for her research paper, because honestly that's how you're coming across. By the way, no one needs to justify anything to you.

Answer 23

Kids love there moms.

Answer 24

yes i do beleive if you are going to have babies you need to be able to stay home im a mother of 4 been married 16 years and only 32 and never worked a day in my life we are strong beleivers the kids need there mother and teens shoudnt have babies cause let me tell you it isnt easy i had 3 before 20 and he had to work 12 hrs daily just to make it but we did it

Answer 25

Your rant is perhaps a little harsh but I also believe that one parent should be at home raising young children. Mother or father!

Most working moms will quickly say that there is no way they could stay home. Many aren't willing to make the effort to find a way to make things work on one income. It really is too bad that more parents don't make raising their children their number one job. Our kids need us.

Answer 26

your rant doesn't even deserve a thoughtful reply. How righteous thay your husband is "man" enough for you stay home! And I don't even have children!

Answer 27

Wow, are you judgemental. I hope you teach your kids better than that. But, you know, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. alas.

Answer 28

I stayed at home with my twin Boys since they were born. I would NEVER work unless I had to.

All the fun times playing in the snow and swimming.. having fun staying in our PJ's all day.

I was there for all of their 1st and haven't missed anything.



I understand that some people do need to work but to work for the heck of it is just selfish.



I think that people who work not out of necessity are selfish.

Answer 29

some of us are single moms, and dont have a choice!! dont you think you are being alittle judgemental, not everyone has it so good!