For veteran parents, isn't it just adorable when newbies....?

Question

honestly believe they know everything about every stage of a child's life? Honestly, I remember when my children where little, I was too focused on that stage of the game (pampers or generic) to even look into the future (should I allow my 8 year old walk to the bus by herself or when should I allow my young man to start dating). Now there are newbies on this site who chastise the veterans with "I would never...." or "That is so wrong". At that point, when I was a newbie, I was asking advice of veterans not criticizing them. What has happened to respect for thy elders and experience?

Answer 1

I understand what you are trying to say....you are not insulting new parents and saying us older parents are perfect...but it is kinda funny when you hear new parents say "I will never do that!" Because we have been there ourselves and know to never say never! lol

I was the best parent ever before I had kids! What I had to learn is to grow with my kids and that no books in the world can truly pre pare you and the best place in the world to go to for advce is other parents who have been there.

and yes there is a BIG difference between us veteran parents and those who poke their noses in your business and give unwanted advice.

Answer 2

Great topic! I started my parenting journey as I do many of my new endeavors with lots of reading, asking questions (of veterans bty) going to seminars, etc. I didn't want to botch up my kids lives. I was completely humble in the beginning. I did everything I thought I should do to raise my kids in a honorable way. I got a little arrogant at preadolescence saying my kids would never do "this" or" that" and very judgmental of other parents when their children would challenge them in certain ways. Then I had teenagers and I was completely brought to my knees at times and I have great kids. It just was like a tornado came through our home and stayed for about 4 or 5 years. We need to honor the veteran parents.They know the newbies future. The newbies will be humbled in time. Wisdom from a veteran 1) We can do all we can to be extraordinary parents to our children but always remember they have their own free will.2) Newbies must never judge other parents and say "my child will never do....".3)Have unconditional love and forgivness to our children.4) Don't be afraid to say "I'm sorry" occasionally to them when we've messed up.

Answer 3

i think of i'd be a Veteran on Y! solutions, carry on although, permit me double-examine. something's not appropriate..... "Bradley PMember provided that: June 13, 2006 " That grew to become into copied and pasted from my Profile. Yeah. and that i've got purely ever had this one all this time. For actual. It dates lower back to while having distinctive profiles grew to become right into a bannable offense, innovations you. i think of i could be going nicely previous "Veteran" and into the Twilight Zone (to not be puzzled with any style of sparkly vampire thingy, ok?). i think of i am going into the element to the place i've got forgotten extra beneficial than I bear in mind, frankly. o_O yet whats up, what do i comprehend? did not somebody right here ask a question *4 an prolonged time in the past* ?? o___O

Answer 4

I agree with you. It is always astonishing that people can be so sure about something when they've never been there. It is so easy to say "I would never...." and "that is so wrong" because they've never been there and done that. JME



Edited to add, I'm not talking about older people butting in to other younger couples business while they are parenting but rather a conversation coming up and the younger parents saying how they would never do this that or the other, when they have not been in my shoes to judge what I am doing or have done.



I am by no means a "veteran" parent but I do think it's funny when someone with a newborn as their only child thinks that it is ok to come and tell me that what I do or don't let my 10 year olds do is wrong. It goes both ways with the younger and the older parents. Just like the younger parents wouldn't want opinions from older parents, I don't need someone who has never been in my situation putting their 2 cents in when I never asked for it.

Answer 5

I so agree with you.. I used to be a "newbie" thinking I new it all because I read all the books. and I sometimes felt entitled to critizising other parents. Now I realize I knew nothing and will continue to know nothing. My son and I are growing together. I make mistakes along the way but I learn from them, just as any parent does.

There are so many parenting magazines, books and shows now that people who haven't had kids or brand new parents feel they're experts.

I agree that just because you may be a veteren doesn't mean you know eveything but it's really frustrating getting chatised by a new parent . I often want to say "ok you've been doing this for 3 months.. do it for 3 years and then maybe we'll talk"

Answer 6

I think that we all have our own perspective. I don't think that it is very helpful to have the attitude that "I have been there and done that. You will know what it is like when you are in my shoes there newbie". It is not right for anyone to critisize, but all parents are equal. You are not above them because you are experienced. Nor they above you because they have done their education and research on the matter. Experience doesn't make you better. I am sure that they do things that you would never do as well.

Answer 7

I see what you are saying but just because a person is an older mom or the mom of many children doesn't maker them any smarter or a better parent than young ones. I have seen awful parents both young and old. If people want me to respect them they have to show me respect.

Answer 8

I especially get a kick out of the parents who think they will never "let" their teenagers wear inappropriate clothing, speak disrespectfully, ignore their homework, experiment with drinking or drugs, or have sex. These are the same ones whose teens will talk to them about everything and never lie or keep secrets. They are the same ones who think it's impossible to be both a parent and a friend to your teen at the same time. They have all the answers. I wish they would write a book and enlighten the rest of us.

Answer 9

Oh Puleeze! Just because a parent is a "Newbie" doesn't mean she doesn't know anything. And just because a parent is a "Veteran" Doesn't mean SHE Knows Everything. Everybody has their own opinion, everybody has different rules in their house, everybody wants different things for their children, if we were all the same, we'd be aliens.

Answer 10

Maybe it's that the newbies are seeing what the veterans turned this world into and are looking to change that. Respecting elders only works when they are worth respecting. They may have experience but that doesnt stop them from being wrong. Veterans could learn something from the newbies and vice versa.

Answer 11

You were a new parent once, too. So why don't you lay off? Let people learn in their own way. Just because they say one thing now doesn't mean that being a parent they won't realize that being flexible is necessary, but everyone needs to start off with their own views, ideas, and principles on how they want to raise their children.

Answer 12

I don't criticize anyone who is a parent or pregnant.



Just like now you say "newbie" I may not have my daughter yet. But I do know how to parent. I mean I may not know every little detail, but I doubt mothers with 9 children even know all the details. So why hate on "newbies"? I would take anyones advice if thats what Im asking for. But I do not think that if you havent been through it then you dont know jack about it...



That's like saying since I dont play football- I don't know how it works...

When I know alottttttt about football.

Answer 13

I'll listen to anybody's advice, "veteran," "newbie", or "non-parent," and then evaluate whether it makes sense to me from my own experience.



I know plenty of veteran parents with whom I disagree on a lot of parenting issues, and I know some new parents and even non-parents who have some good thoughts on the subject.

Answer 14

thy elders are busy bodies, as I am getting older I can actually see it when i'm out and about, I use to think of my elders as wise gods now I see them in a different light, rude.selfish no-it-alls with absolutely no respect for the young and I'm not talking young like in the teens or even the 20's so In my world you need to give respect to get it!



If there is an older women in grocery store and she takes cuts Yea I'm gonna say something this is the attitude that I see, very disrespectful, the elders should be ashamed of themselves!

Answer 15

i dont think it has lost respect but times change and the world is not what it was 10 20 years ago

Answer 16

I know what you mean, but I don't feel that it is adorable. I've raised children until they've grown and am going to be a great grandmother in eight months. I can nag until I'm blue in the face, but many new mothers simply don't like to listen. I think it's just one of those things where a person needs to fall flat on their face a few times before realizing that they don't know everything.

Answer 17

Everybody is different and is entitled to their opinion about their own children. Just because you have more kids or more experience with kids does not mean you know best! You know best for your children not mine or anybody Else's!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 18

Right, because being an older person and/or parent means you're good at it and that you're deserving of respect.



Respect is earned based on character, not age, and that's why no one "respects their elders" anymore.