3 year old cusses and doesn't listen to us?

Question

Kaydens never listened to us, if we tell him something he laughs and does it anyway, He hears us and our families cuss and im sure he always will cause me and my bf have both done it since we were younger, our familys did it ahead of us and we do it ahead of our kids, i dont like it but if we drop something or get mad it just comes out. He kicks, scratches, bites, screams, throws stuff, spits. He'll do it for anyone tho not just us. He used to go to daycare and they kicked him out in less then 2 weeks, Everyone on a different website said to discipline him, and we do but he doesnt care. He has no problem sitting in time out as long as you leave him there, he'll sit there and suck his thumb and fall asleep or play with buttons on his shirt, his shoes or socks, My bf spanks him and he cries but then come after us and hits or scratchs us, We have a 1 month old baby and he cant be alone in a room with her, she cant be in her swing without us right next to her because he'll try pushing the swing over, or pushing the swing faster, kicking it, hitting her, We have a dog and he kicks him, pulls his ears, tails, throws stuff at him...I want to go back to work just so i dont have to put up with him all the time and thats mean but he makes it hell.
We can't take him anywere in public that easily cause he scream and kicks and yells "your a b*tch" or "i hate you b*tch" He runs off unless we hold his hand or hold him and either way he tries kicking and biting or slapping us.

What am i suppose to do when time out doesnt work, spanking doesnt work and he has enough toys that he wont miss 1 if we take it away?

Answer 1

There are a lot of changes that need to happen. To start with you'll need to be more strict on your punishments. Some kids do not respond to timeouts, so find something that he doesn't like. I never tolerated biting--NEVER. If one of my kids bit the other, I made them bite a hot pepper. It only took two times for my older son to not bite again, my younger son maybe three times. Still, I was consistent and that took care of that problem very quickly. I know that some will disagree with what I did, but biting is a very serious issue and cannot always be solved with timeouts or something of that measure.



As for his filthy mouth the answer is two-fold. You need to do something about yours (and your boyfriend's). If you don't want him to say those words, then you shouldn't be saying them. Kids will not accept that you can say it, but they cannot, they'll keep saying it if they hear it. So you'll need to curb what you say, and when you say it. At the same time, you'll need to explain that it's not okay for him to say it. Give him an alternative to say if it's such a big problem, tell him to say, "horse feathers" or something silly when things aren't going well. Maybe sit him down and come up with a word or words to say, and you use those words too. When you drop something say, "oh horse feathers" instead of what you normally say.



Whoever told you he needs discipline is correct, he does, but not just now and then when you're so upset about what he's doing that you can no longer take it, he needs it all the time. You need to constantly follow through. Don't just tell him he's going to go to time out, make him go. Don't just threaten him with a spanking, give it. Whatever you do as punishment you need to do, and not just threaten or suggest it, just do it, he'll get the point.



One last thing, I think maybe he does some of this stuff just to get your attention. Try spending some one-on-one time with him (same with your boyfriend) and encourage him to do things, not to not do things (meaning, instead of do not hit the dog, say, why don't we nicely pet the dog). Positive sentence or suggestions go a lot farther than tell some children what they cannot do.

Answer 2

Well first of all, he learned all that foul language from your mouth, and other family members, and there is no excuse for you to be cussing just because you get angry or drop something etc. Kids pick up bad habits quickly these days. When he cusses you really need to give him one hard spanking like your bf does. You might want to do another form of time-out. (Do the time-out right after the spanking) by making him stand in the corner with his nose touching the wall for about 30 minutes, and his hands either behind his back or at his sides, and do not allow any movement, such as playing with his shoes or socks, and if he does give him and additional 5 minutes for each time he does something while in the corner. With him doing mean things to the dog, eventually the dog may bite him, and hopefully he will learn to leave the dog alone.



You should get help for this kid before things get worse, I hate to tell you this, but you kid sounds like a brat in my book.

Answer 3

There's no way she can take your son from you if you're in Dubai. You can have her arrested for even seeing them without your permission, and I suggest you do exactly that if she comes looking for your kids. Yes you can file for full custody in Dubai, and because it's in the UAE it will be granted. I assume you have your child's passport. This is a quote from Dubai child custody law. Women have no power here and she'll be slammed down by both the courts and the police: "According to Article No. 50 of the Personal Affairs Law, if the expatriate parents are divorced and the children are in their mothers' custody, she is not allowed to take the children out of the country. The law says that whatever the nationalities of father and mother, the children should live in the same country where the father is living."

Answer 4

First let him keep kicking that dog and its going to bite the crap out of him. and dont be mad at the dog. When he cusses pop him in his mouth. Just because he does all of that stuff doesn't mean you qahve to give in and give him what he wants, or give up. You stand firm and do what you need to do to make him stop. Start taking things away from him. Don't let him eat or do somethings, and tell him why because if he wants it bad enough he'll act right. If he scratches you do it back so he will see you can do it too and you are not backing down. and stop cussing in front of him. That would help his language also and if he doesn;t say please and thank you yes ma'am no ma'am etc. don't give him what he wants. when he does some stuff walk away. he'll either follow you and keep doing it or keep doing it and then stop because he notices you don't care. but sometimes it is best to walk away.

Answer 5

Strip his whole room down to nothing but a mattress take off the door and put up a tall gate! He gets dinner in there, homework, dinner, etc. Slowly give him a chance to redeem himself and be part of the family. One infraction, send him back to his room and start all over.



Did your son start doing this when the baby was born?

Answer 6

You need *consistent* discipline. If you and his father are each handing out entirely different punishments, there is no consistency. You've said yourself that timeouts don't work. Perhaps both of you should spank him. You might also try taking away things he enjoys when he misbehaves... be it a toy or an activity or a favorite food.

Answer 7

you be consistent, and if he has so many toys that taking one away won't work then you take them ALL away. punish him every time he swears or hits or kicks. reward him for being good. if he's good all day play a game with him, if he's good all week rent a movie he wants to see and order or make his favorite dinner on saturday night. if nothing works and you've been sticking to your guns then maybe try counseling

Answer 8

Every kid is like that.



Im a babysitter and i can say i have babtsitted kids with bad mouths.



They'll say the meanest things, but they only say what they hear. So which means he's caught the words from someone.



Iv'e heard all of this from kids 3-12:



:fk u btch

: sht the f up

: fk u

: u bas tard

: lik my balls!



Sweety iv'e heard it all. The best you can do is punish is cussing. Not physicaly but tell him it's wrong to say it. My mom stopped my cussing by giving me cold bath's instead of hot bath's and to say, it really worked.



Sometime's you have to be the bigger person. Don't let him take in charge. You're his mother. Show him that.

Answer 9

i would get yourself a paddle and paddle the boy three wacks , you need to get a hold of this boy before this is unacceptable behavior for a three year old, if he bites you bite him back and if he starts yelling leave the store , i would take all his toys away and if you stop cussing he will stop

Answer 10

it's called CONSISTENLY SPANKING HIM!!!



be consistent. he will eventually learn.