"Your poor baby just doesn't have any kind of schedule, THAT'S what's wrong!!"?

Question

WHHHHAAATTTT???? My mom just told me that over the phone. (She called to see if we had had any customers today and if I had gotten anything done, I was telling her Jamie, my 8 month old, was super cranky and didn't want to be put down).

No, he doesn't get sleepy the same time for naps or bedtime, he doesn't get a bath every night (he gets horrible dry patches), but he does get fed around the same time, even at the sitter's and he alternates between tummy time/crawling and pulling up, the walker, and the bouncer. He DOES go to the sitter 3 days a week, but hello!! I can't take him to college classes and I REFUSE to drop out like she did.

WHY would she say that?? How would you have dealt with it?

Answer 1

Us moms tend to say thing without thinking. For sure when it comes to giving advice to our daughters concerning grand-babies. So I would just tell her thanks but you've got it under control, cause it sounds like you do.



Try not to take it so personal next time. If a friend were to say something like that how would you have handled it?



Good Luck

Answer 2

You have a lot of stress right now, and you didn't need that-you're a good mommy. While I am NOT sticking up for mom, my son started to settle into a schedule at this age and he was pretty happy. If he's been crabby for a while maybe try a nap at 9 a.m. and 1 p.m., bed time before 8 p.m.

Of course, it cna be adjusted to meet the baby's needs. At one year, my son showed clear signs he was ready for one nap vs, two. That nap happens between 11 and 12 depending on how tired he is. Also bedtime is now between 7 and 8 p.m. depending on signs of tiredness-he was going to bed at 8, lately he is asking to go to bed earlier, I think the days are getting shorter and he is having a growth spurt,

My son goes to daycare as well and that doesn't mess him up. we aren;t too strict with any activity at any time of day excpet generally bath and books before bed, book before nap. My son gets dry patches at times, but he also loves his bath to the point he tries to climb in there so I have discovered aquaphor is a miracle product.

EDIT: If he likes 10 for a nap, then do 10. It sounds like you are doing everything right. Like I said I think schedules are good but obviously you have to build in some flexibility since no 2 babies are just the same. And sometimes babies are cranky for any variety of reasons-just like grown ups-it doesn't mean YOU have done anything wrong. :)

Answer 3

I'd say, "Thanks for the advice Mom, but I'm doing what works best for us." Then go on to something else in the conversation.



Schedules don't always work for babies or kids, no matter how much the experts try to push them as being "sacred." Both of my children have been raised without strict schedules, and I must say, they're doing just fine....turning out rather well in fact.



Don't stress yourself out by trying to maintain a schedule if your life doesn't really call for one. Schedules work for some people (and babies) and not for others. You're not doing anything wrong, so don't worry. Rather, it sounds like you're doing everything right (your son is healthy, happy and loved and your finishing your education).



Moms love to offer advice. Just learn to tune it out. You're doing what works for you and your school and work schedule. Try not to let your Mom's advice get to you too much.

Answer 4

All baby's are different. My oldest son was not a "schedule" baby. We did things when we could and wanted to. My 2nd child was a schedule child from day 1. He wanted to do everything the same day after day. It worked for him. It really depends on what works for the child. Not all baby's can be put on a schedule. Just don't worry about it and di it the way that works for you.

Answer 5

Baby's adapt, and sometimes set their own "schedule" When they go through growth spurts, they eat more, then sleep more, and get crabby. Some people freekout when their baby won't nap at 1:15 or whenever like usual. My kids have a bedtime but eat when they are hungry and sleep when they need a nap. That's what works for us.

Enjoy the days before preschool and school and you really have to follow a schedule.

Answer 6

You do what you can, and it sounds to me like you have a lot of important things on your plate. Good for you for not dropping out. Don't let her get to you. Easier said than done, I know. It is true that babies and kids thrive on having routine and schedules, but that doesn't mean there is a huge problem here.

I would deal with it by telling her you'll call her back later because your busy. She's your Mother- there is NO argument you will ever win.

Answer 7

Tell her she raised you, and now you are raising your son. Don't worry about it. In the real world it is hard to get your baby on a perfect schedule if you work, go to school, etc. Even stay at home moms cant keep their babies on a perfect schedule. Things happen. As long as your baby is healthy, and happy (aside from normal baby fusses) you are doing fine!

Answer 8

your right she shouldnt be telling you that you are wrong. she should have came at you more suggestivly instead of demandingly. babies are happier when they are on schedules yes because they know what to expect for the day its not a surprise. but by schedule i dont mean bed at this time wake up at this time bath at this time. for example this is what i do with my son ( he's 3 months old) mornings are tv cartoon time (baby einstein) lunch time is like tummy time and then i walk around with him outside, evening is mommy time when i just talk to him and play with him and hold him. then every night around 6 or 7 i give him a bath, put on lotion, read him a story, and he falls asleep after his last bottle. eventually he started getting tired after his bath because he got used to falling asleep after that.

Answer 9

I think you're doing well enough at the moment. There is a somehwat structured day for the child. I dont see what the problem is. Just try showing your mother that.

Answer 10

At eight months your baby should have a schedule, even if he's at the sitters. My daughter had a schedule, and I took her to day care every day.



But a daily bath is not necessary, it does dry out their skin.

Answer 11

Well babies do like schedules. I applaud you for taking good care of your child, and not everyone can keep the same schedule day after day. The good news is that your baby will only be young and fussy once.

Answer 12

just blow it off thats how parents are bossy. I deal with i dont disipline my kids right and thats why they have a temper everyday. even though they do. babys dont have to have schedules and they get cranky so just blow it off and like in my case i know how i was as a child so they didnt have all the answers

Answer 13

You're just stressed out because you have school, and work, and a baby. Your mom has a lot more experience with babies than you do and she's just trying to help. Try to relax.

Answer 14

Remind her that times have changed since you were a baby, and the AAP doesn't recommend schedules anymore.

Answer 15

I woulda laughed and called her crazy if she was on edge I probably would have agreed and hung up and just blew it off. That's hilarious nonetheless.

Answer 16

you should keep the baby on a schedule, or at least try to, especially at night

Answer 17

not that this is really an answer but schedules are for adults not babies

Answer 18

what schedule?

what?

your mom's confusing

hang up on her

Answer 19

She probably has something else behind her words... I would say "F you mom... this is my kid and my life and you can't run it anymore."