my son or my career?

Question

I recently got divorced, we have joint custody of our 13 year old son. I've been unemployed for 3 months. I have a found a job out of town (but with no benefits and no guaranteed hours). If I took it I would be able to see my son every weekend but I worry about keeping my financial responsibilities. I was also offered a full time job with better pay and benefits, but its further away. I would only be able to see my son one week a month. My ex is a great parent and we have been able to work out most issues. I don't know which choice would be best for my son. What would you do?

Answer 1

take it from someone who is having financial issues being self employed. If you do the right thing which is be the best parent you can. (being there for him)that is the most important. i guarantee when you die (hopefully a long time from now) your son will not say gee i wish dad (or mom not sure) made more money. my father was never around. i don't remember how much money he made i just know he was never there. and FYI praying has gotten us thru the tough times. just when we thought we couldn't pay the mortgage. i sell a house or we get more back in taxes. good luck and god bless follow your heart.

Answer 2

I know it's hard when one job can offer more stability and better pay than the other. My husband has worked in a fly-in, fly-out position in the mines since our son was only 6 months old. The days/weeks worked varied from month to month. Our son is now 2 1/2, and my husband is now away for up to 6 weeks at a time. He missed our son's first steps, first words, first birthday (not to mention my birthdays, his birthdays and our anniversaries).

Even though your son is a teenager at 13, this is another period of time for firsts. He will need you to be his guiding light as he starts his journey into the confusing world of adolescence.

Having said that, talk to your son and your ex. Your son might be okay with the one week a month with you, especially if you both cram as much into that week as you would over the weekends.

Good luck with this, hope all goes well for you! :)

Answer 3

Your son, as a single mom of three boys there is no way a job would prevent me from being a parent. Jobs come and go once you lose your son he is done. You need to be an active parent or his friends will be active for you. Never make you son feel you picked $$$ over him. I quit a job because it demanded more time then I wanted to give it. KIDS FIRST ALWAYS

Answer 4

If you and your ex get along and he cares about the well being of your son, he should help you in all ways possible to see your son more than one weekend per month if you take the job that is further away. Your ex should understand that his son needs his mother in his life.

Answer 5

Go for the better job. You need to support yourself also, in addition to supporting your ex and son. Think about this - if you take the job with no benefits, what happens if your son gets sick? What if your hours get cut? Will your ex give you a break on the "child" support? Or demand full payment even if it means you become homeless?

Answer 6

I say go for the better job. You will be able to provide better for your son, and there are always phone conversations. Its great that you and mom are still on good terms. I just have to say don't let your son get "lost" in the hustle and bustle of the new job. Make up a schedule with him...routine phone conversations, online game time together, something... Just let him know you're making the choice for HIM, to give HIM a better life :)

Answer 7

It depends on your son. Is he mature enough to understand your problem? If he is a kind of kid who tends to get into trouble if you don't watch him close, then I would say stay close. However, if he is mature and already has a good relationship with you, talk to him and find out if it is possible to have an extended vacation with you in summer and go to special place instead of meeting every weekend. Communicate before you make a decision and make your kid feel like he is making this important decision with your.

Answer 8

What would you want if you were your son? Maybe being there for him would benefit him more than more money. Kids can grow up with nothing but love and caring and be very well rounded and other kids can grow up with everything except love and attention and they are not well rounded. Try talking it out with your ex and son together.

Answer 9

You shouldnt even have to ask this question. Once a woman becomes a mother, her child/children take ALL priority. Your son needs his mom more than once a month.

Answer 10

IF YOUR CINCERNED ABOUT YOUR FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES ACCEPTING A JOB W/ NO BENEFITS OR GUARANTEED HRS. IS NOT YOUR BEST DECISION. I SAY TAKE THE JOB THERE ARE WAYS TO HAVE CONSISTANT CONTACT W/ YOUR SON (i.e; WEBCAM,LETTERS.PICS, DURING SUMMER BREAK HE STAYS W/ YOU , HOLIDAYS.ETC...) WHEN YOU SEE YOUR SON THAT 1 WK. A MTH. MAKE IT THE BEST WK. EVER! GOOD LUCK

Answer 11

DEFINITELY YOUR SON IS MORE IMPORTANT. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY IT IS SO HARD TO FIGURE OUT AND UNDERSTAND GOD HAS GIVEN US THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB WE WILL EVER HAVE AND THAT IS THE JOB OF BEING A PARENT, IF WE FAIL AT THAT IT WON'T MATTER HOW SUCCESSFUL WE ARE AT ANYTHING ELSE IN OUR LIVES.

Answer 12

Have you talked to your son about it? Find out what he thinks, and this may help you to make the decision.

Answer 13

Go with the career and eventually you can work it out to take more weekends.

Answer 14

YOUR SON!!!! Trust me your son is more important than anything, and I mean anything.

Answer 15

Your child is more important than a job!!!!

Answer 16

ALL I CAN SAY IS SON'S NEED, NEED, NEED, THEIR FATHER!!!

Answer 17

career... make urself happy