Since we had a baby 5 mths ago, my 7 yr old seems to ask for more 1 on 1 time. Am I wrong to say no sometimes?

Question

We make sure to set aside time for just her everyday...to play cards, or cuddle on the couch, but it never seems like enough. Every time she sees me start the motions of putting baby for a nap she automatically asks "Can we play cards when he is asleep" or can we do this or that. Usually I comply, but sometimes, I have to do the dishes, or tidy the house (etc) and it makes me feel like a bad parent to say no. Other times, I just want to take 20 minutes to myself...plunked on the couch or reading a book...am I wrong to occationally say "no" to her? She always seems very sad if I do.

Answer 1

you are not wrong, you are making a consious effort to make sure you are including your older daughter. she has to learn to be independant to a certain extent. She is old enough to be able to entertain herself when those times arise in the day. It sounds like you are a really lovina and attentive mother, but you have to take care of yourself too so you don't get burned out. Maybe have her help you with the chores that you have to get done, kill 2 birds with one stone. Hope that helps.

Answer 2

No you not wrong. I am in the same boat. I have a 8 month and a 7 year old, plus I work a full time job. It is hard. We do daddy and daughter dates and mommy and daughter dates while the other stay at home a take care of the baby. I also spend time with her while doing other things. She helps me unload the dishwasher, fold cloths and even talking to me while I take a bath. This way you spend time with her and get things done. You might end up with more me time.

Answer 3

The way I did it was ,I had a 6 yr old,when I had my second son.I made sure I made him a part of it.I would ask my son :'Do you think your brother is hungry,or needs a diaper change?"He was there in an instant ,whenever Little Brother cried.Alot of times my first son would tell me I think my brother has a bellyache.The more you involve the older sibling, the less problem you will have.To this date,[my oldest is 20 yrs old, my youngest is 14],but the oldest looks out for his baby brother.It might be that I am just lucky,because my boys are half brothers,but one still looks out for the other. I wish you all the luck in the world.Just love those babies,and remember each has their own personality!

Answer 4

Answer 3 is right, involve your daughter, there are many tasks she can do. The only problem will be that she'll become over protective of the baby and would boss around a little. But then again, she would make a great older and loving sister.

Answer 5

You had to do housework and other things before the baby was born, how did she deal with that then. Shes old enough to help around the house ask her to help, tell her shes your big helper, ask her to help with the care of the baby also she needs to bond with the baby too. As long as you are spending the same amount of time with her that you were before the baby shell be fine.

Answer 6

No, maybe you should do more time with her and the baby call it Big sister time she will love it . have her read a book to the baby and you can help her this is good for everyone. schedule Quiet time to during baby's nap time where everyone looks at a book or colors or something quiet.

Answer 7

why dont you do things all together instead of spereate? Myabe that will help! Good luck I know it's hard to not make one child jealous of the other!



And no you are not wrong! You need some mommy time too!

Answer 8

No needs to be aword that your child needs to hear I know that you feel bad to say it but your little one needs mommy and daddy a little bit more. try including your 7 yr old a little more than usual for a while it might help!

Answer 9

no its not worong to say no, and you are making time for your older shild so thats always a good thing. Maybe its time for a date. mommy and me date or daddy and me dates are fun and its time you can spend just with them. works great for us.