Will a seven year old remember for life or will they forget?

Question

My mom and I had HUGE conflicts as did my brother and I. I set some major bounderies with my family and it did not go well. I was trying to sort it out and handled things the best that I could. Unfortanetely my daughter was in the middle. She saw me cry, heard me talk bad about my family to my friends, she heard me say things to my mom that I wish she hadn't heard. Finally I ended the whole situation by moving away. Since then my family is doing so well. Espcieally my daughter. Being away from my mom's negative influence has really increased my daughters confidence tremendously. I hardly see my family anymore and most likely will not go to family holidays as I want us to have a good Christmas. Will my daughter remember the conflict in detail? Will she remember that we once were close to grandma when she was tiny? Or will she just grow up seeing how I am handling things now and just think that I have never been close to my family? Will she remember the mean things said?

Answer 1

Seven year olds do have the capacity to remember things for the rest of their life, but they will only remember it if they think it was really significant. I would just not mention it to them again, and if they bring it up just play it down and say that it was nothing to worry over, this may help them to put it out of their mind.



If they get a bit older and start to ask questions, you may want to be open and honest about things, that way they will really appreciate your honesty, and may help them to feel as though they can be open and honest going the other way in the future.

Answer 2

She won't remember everything. She may remember some, especially if it continues (you continue to talk bad about your mother.)



Probably the best thing you can do is be honest with her. Don't give her the dirt on your family, but tell her that you hate that she heard those things, and that even though you were upset, you hate that she was in the middle of it.



When she asks about it, you may want to tell her that you chose to break things off with your mom and the rest of the family because it was very very difficult for you to remain close to them, considering the situation. Let her know that you don't expect her to hate Grandma, and later, if she wants to, she can try to reestablish a relationship, but right now, she needs to trust that you thought it through and did what you felt was best for your family.



Five years ago, I would have argued that you should definately work things out, glossing over the bad stuff, because they're the only parents and sibling you get to have. Then we moved in with my in-laws, and my husband and then-four-year-old interrupted a guitar lesson my FIL was giving, to ask where the phone was so they could call 911. My son was having an allergic reaction to shellfish. My father-in-law, after the guitar student left, raised his fist to my husband, with my barely-able-to-breath son lay on the floor looking on, for interrupting the lesson. Some parents deserve to keep their important-person-in-your-life status.

Answer 3

do you remember much when you are 7. If you do I bet it is the bad stuff. At least it is like this for me. The fact that her life improved after this is a positive. If you mum was this negative in your life were you ever really that close to her? Your daughter sounds better off now. Just answer questions as they come and be honest but don't put anyone down if you can.

Answer 4

It's likely that she will remember some of it. My five-year old was with my grandfather when he died, and he was only two. He doesn't exactly remember the details, but he remembers the experience. By the age of two or three kids have the ability to remember a lot of things... BUT luckily, kids don't necessarily remember the bad things. My childhood was not wonderful, but most of my memories are good ones, not bad ones. Sometimes, kids understand more than you give them credit for. Try to find kid friendly ways of explaining what was going on, and let them know that it's not going to be as bad forever.

Answer 5

I can remember my 4th birthday as if it were yesterday,and I am a very old woman, however,if you asked me who I talked to last week, I could not tell you every person i spoke with. I think the things ingrained in our memories are certain events that were very emotional one way or another. Perhaps your little girl will remember, but you can put a positive spin on it, and you are smart you got away from the negative influence. Just because people are blood related, does not mean they will always be good for you. You must continue to surround yourself with positive support and people. Your little girl will florish in the surroundings, if she asks questions,dont lie, just keep is short and to the point.

Answer 6

umm probably not. im 14 right now so that was like 7 years ago for me and apparently my parents were going through some pretty rough stuff and my moms surprised i dont remember it but i dont. It may have impacted your daughter more though, but if you dont bring up the mean things most likely she will forget. She will almost definatley not remember in detail though.

Answer 7

your so cute

i hug and squeeze you and a little hug for the 7 year old princess too



you show your heart of compassion and feelings-your child is already doing better-it will kinda seem like a bad dream-and children have a way to block things out of their minds-also grandma with prayer can change some-so dont throw her out with the bath water, yet never regret your decision to leave-like the bible endings are difficult (the book of Revelation)



relax your doing a fine job



pick your head up and ask forgiveness for the wrong u did in this to your mom-eat your pride-and dont say i did it because u did whatever-what you did wrong is still wrong-it will help soften her heart to with the Lords help if she lets him -see her own short commings



and peace up ur doin wonderfull-and a little prayer helps too "Jesus help me, and give me the strength i need through this, and as you say you knock on my hearts door, I ask you in to forgive sins and become my friend, amen" Revelation 3:19&20 & John 3 & chapter 10 too, best wishes to you

in all that you do and princess too

Answer 8

I remember things from when I was 7. I guess it depends on how much it impacted her. She may not remember the words, but possibly the anxiety. It's hard to say.



But good for you for getting in a better place!!



Good luck~

Answer 9

My parents had conflicts since the day I came into this world, and I can't remember the conflicts they had when I was seven years old.