Parents... If your child came out as gay.. how would you react?

Question

Ok, suppose your child came out as gay... how would you react?
Be honest. I know that the "politically correct" answer is "I would just accept them" but for many parents, there is much more than just that.
So be honest.

Answer 1

I don't think I would react. I love my kids and there is nothing wrong with being gay so I don't think I would have any reaction at all.

Answer 2

Honestly?? I don't know. I think as a parent I would be dissapointed at first - maybe. But parents know. When my brother in law came out to us - we were all dissapointed in the beginning because we spent so much time protecting him from people making comments about him supposedly being gay...with the exception of his mother. She knew. She just hugged him and said she was happy he found someone who makes him happy. The rest of us felt like jerks but he understood because we did defend him for so long.



That was years ago when we were all much more immature than now. The world is what it is and we grew as time progressed (which didn't take but a month or a little more) and realized nothing really changed in our family except for our idea of a conventional relationship is. I love his partner and most of all -- their happiness.



But...if my son tells me he will never give me grandbabies I may be sad. So if he says he's gay and they're going to adopt 10 baby girls from China...then everything will be just fine! :-D

Answer 3

In an effort to make our world more politically correct our children are being taught by media and school that homosexuality is no different than any other choice they might make if fact it's kinda cool. I have 3 school aged children and 6 nieces and nephews and as an active part of their lives I see the effect that this has had on them. About 1/4 to 1/2 of all of their school friends are homosexual. It seems to me that it is "in" now to be openly gay at least in our area. Children as young as first grade are telling their classmates that they are gay and the class and teachers respond by giving those children attention and treating them like they are special for a choice they are making that they can't possible understand completely at this point(the younger children especially). It may sound crazy but I have seen this happen repeatedly from elementary through high school in my county and a neighboring county. I think this is just going to cause confusion and heartache for this next generation.

All of that being said I love my children and will accept them no matter their choices in life but I would be heartbroken for a while. We always want the best and safest for our kids and I would worry about how much harder their lives would be if they made that choice.

Answer 4

Well it really depends - my "gaydar" is pretty good, so if I had suspicions already, it would just confirm what I probably already knew and it wouldn't be much of a surprise. If, for some reason they kept it pretty hidden, slipped under the gaydar & then announced it out of nowhere I would be shocked at first, probably a little sad for them because that's not an easy lifestyle to live, and I would eventually accept it. I happen to believe that some people are genetically predisposed to being gay and that it's not something that "happens" to a person, that a person "chooses" nor can they be "made that way" by any outside influences, etc. so villifying and ridiculing them is just as bad as making fun of other genetic conditions, such as Down's syndrome, dwarfism, etc.

Answer 5

I do hope that my son is straight just for an easier time in life but if he was gay then I don't have a problem with it. He'd look cute with eyeliner. Lol. He comes from a 2-mommy family.



I was teased in school as I came out at 12 in the 7th grade. I hope that if he IS gay and comes out early that his life will be somewhat easier in these times.

Answer 6

Get a existence and improve up, Justa. in case you haven't any suggestion to furnish, then do no longer answer. I continuously informed my little ones i did no longer care who they enjoyed as long as they have been happy. as quickly as I first grew to become attentive to gays, i became particularly bowled over, yet ultimately i began out to appreciate their thoughts. I informed my young ones i might in no way love them much less. when you consider that that factor I truthfully have met many gay couples and a few of my friends are gay and that i now be attentive to the determination to alter into gay became no longer chosen by potential of them yet became born into them. All gays want is to be typical, respected, and enjoyed by potential of the guy of their decision. it somewhat is not my activity to decide yet another man or woman no rely who they're. tell your mum and dad what you suggested on your question. which you tried to be immediately even though it does no longer artwork for you and it felt very awkward or unnatural. tell them you're sorry in the event that they're disappointed in you yet you won't be able to make your self have thoughts which at the instant are not there just to cause them to happy. if your mum and dad love you, they're going to understand and assist you. If no longer, it will be their loss, and dropping a infant is probably going certainly one of the main terrible issues that could take place to a discern. don't be frightened of who you're. people who care approximately you the main will understand and people who do no longer, in no way mattered besides. Hiding your thoughts will basically make you depressing and existence is far too short to stay in misery. Do what's nice for you and solid luck to you.

Answer 7

The "much more" that you are talking about is the parent realizing that "this is not about them." It does take parents some time to adjust - get the pronouns right - get used to the idea of discrimination (in those USA families with white privilege that never had to deal with it before), understand how many issues this permeates, understand and take seriously the relationship their child is having. It is a process of mourning - there are losses within the gains that occur when a parent realizes that their child is gay.



I am trying not to resent that you call it "politically correct" to "accept them." That is such a superficial statement of "all about me." Accept them is not what kids are looking for from their parents anyway. They are looking for their parents to celebrate them - be proud of them - and to join them in their struggles in a real way. The whole "I love them anyway" is really quite lame and hurtful and twists a knife in the child's back. It is a statement of "you are defective, and I still love you." And the parent goes ahead and pats him or herself on the back for what is really quite an insignificant effort. The parent really has to unlearn his or her biases and understand that their is nothing wrong with being LGBT. There is nothing superficially "politically correct" about that.

Answer 8

I am a daughter of a gay man, so I really wouldn't care if one or all of my children were gay.I have a few family members that are gay and my BFF is a gay man and it doesn't bother me. Besides It's not like I still can't be a Gramma. With adoption and surrogates I will still have grand babies to spoil.

Answer 9

I won't be exactly happy, but I'd accept him the way he is. That's what most people would do, except if they're radical.



Iиsidэ оцт Оязо, a child from a different race than the parents? Lol.

Answer 10

I would react the exact same way I did with my brother. "Well, it's about time you told us. Are you dating anyone?"



I wouldn't be jumping for joy, not because I disagree, but it would be like another one of my children saying, "Hey, I'm straight" to me. It's just who they are. I would, however, congratulate them for having enough courage to tell us.



I would hope that if any of my children are gay, they wouldn't be scared to tell us. With my brother being gay and me being so vocal about wanting him to have the same rights as me, I hope they would know that I am totally accepting of their sexual preference.



I will raise my children on this belief and I hope other people will stop being so narrow-minded and judgmental on the subject.



Edit to Kelly B: I don't think homosexuality is something that should be discussed in school unless they are doing sex ed. Other than that, it should be a discussion left at home. At the age you are talking about, children really are to young to understand what sexual orientation means.I've heard of school kids being taught that it's sinful to be gay and even seen a few adds featuring kids that tell the public that being gay is wrong. However, as for high school kids, I think most truely know what their sexual orientation is. My brohter realized he was gay in the 5th grade and held it in until his freshman year of college. This caused him to be depressed and he had to seek counseling, but would never tell us what made him so sad. That is why I was happy that he finally told us.



I have never found that the media or anyone else has tried to make being gay cool. It's nice that so many celebrities and media organizations are so aware of the one going struggles for gays to have the same rights as every straight person does. I think it's cool that millions of people chose to voice their opinons, march for them, champaign for them, and hope things will change.



Edit to Oodee-here's a little article that shows how little you know about HIV/AIDS and the gay community. This is why being ignorant is a problem.



http://www.postandcourier.com/news/2008/feb/07/blacks_more_likely_get_hiv_aids29858/

Answer 11

It sure as heck wouldn't change my love for them. I might be a bit concerned of the treatment they may get from other people. Because not everyone is accepting of other sexualities.



I wouldn't be upset. I wouldn't disown them. I'd love them just as they are and continue in life as we always have.



I've seen what disowning a child can do to that person. Simply because of their sexuality. Because in the end, that's still the child you gave birth to. Your love shouldn't change because of their sexual preference.



Not saying it wouldn't be a tough pill to swallow....but to each their own.

Answer 12

I have friends that are gay so I understand how a person feels when their parents shun them or refuse to accept their preference. I would like to think that I would support my daughter (or son if i ever have one). I hope I would understand that it is her life to live and not any of my business. I say I hope and would like to think because I have not been in that situation as of yet but feel that I am an open minded person.

Answer 13

I'm not being politically correct, when I say it wouldn't bother me at all... I have four kids. It's a possibility, and I really don't care. As long as the person they're with, treats them well, there won't be a problem.

Answer 14

I'm a mum to 4 children 16b,14g,7b,4b & 2 on the way, my 16 year old son is gay and we couldn't love and support him more. We except him for who he is always have, always will the same applies for his siblings. There is nothing my child could do that would make me turn my back on them, I love them for who they are and their differences make them the individuals they are.

Answer 15

To be honest my parents wouldn't be happy if there grand child was gay and probally wouldn't let him in the house but I would support him because if you love your child then you should except who they are.

Answer 16

I must admit, as many thumbs downs as I'll get... I will be honest: I would be disappointed. I can't even say how morbid the grandparents and extended family would be. I'd still love her. For sure. But I would be disturbed at the thought of my daughter with another woman that way. I don't know why, I just would be. I know that being gay/lesbian/bi-sexual is not an option or a choice... it's a feeling you are born with, you can't help it. I'd support her, but it would be hard for me.

Answer 17

I'd be sad about the issues he'd have to face from ignorant people, let's face it, it's easier being straight. But it wouldn't affect my love for him, and I would accept him. I would just worry about other people's reactions.

Answer 18

Having gay friends, i can honestly say it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Something as minor as sexual orientation isn't going to stop me loving my children. They'll always be my babies no matter how old they get, and i'll love and support them always.

Answer 19

i would be a a little upset but i would accept him. and i would let him know that weather if your gay or straight you have to be careful and he will date a few a holes but eventually he will find love.

Answer 20

It is not the lifestyle that I would want for them but what can you do? I would accept it. We all have to make our own decisions in life and do what makes us happy.

Answer 21

I would be very upset. I dont agree with that type of lifestyle when it comes to my children.The love I have would never go away but I will not support that type of relationship. A persons sexual orientation is a choice. I dont hate anyone who chooses to like the same gender I just disagree with it.

Answer 22

I would love them just as much as a straight kid. I would encourage them to be what they want and how they would like to be. I love gays and lesbians. I myself am Bisexual and my mother accepted me for it and I just wish every other parent can accept that with their kids. Gay, Lesbian, or Straight. Everyone still the same.

Answer 23

I wouldnt care, I would only be worried that i may not have grand children

Answer 24

i love my daughter more than this world, and if she came out as a lesbian or bisexual or trans-gender i wouldn't care honestly. i love her and as long as she isn't out killing people. im bisexual myself so it doesn't bother me at all.

Answer 25

Not even a sexual orientation would stop me from loving my son.

Answer 26

I'm not narrow minded but I wouldn't accept that for a lot of reasons. The main reason is the deadly diseases that could and would result from being gay. gays have more chance to get HIV etc.

So to all people who dosen't really understand what's an open mind and say that they'd accept them to reconsider and think more deaply about it. My message here is if you really

love them don't accept their homosexuality. And that's for their own good. Love and acceptance is support and supporting that means you're supporting their slow suicide and you don't love them. Thats the truth. I love you all and I wish you the best and only the best

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile"

Answer 27

i would first try and beat the gayness out of them with a leather strap and if that doesn't work tell them that i never ever want them to bring their partners within a thousand kilometers of my house, even during the holidays. I would also tell them not to ever talk to anyone in the family about being gay and to never ever support it in public or tell any impressionable youngster that it is ok to be a ******. I would also make it clear to them that i do not condone that lifestyle and if they do not change, they will burn in the fiery pits of hell for all eternity. They are your children and throwing them out in the street will just bring their ruin; i dont want them on tv playing the drag queens or transvestites saying how much they hate their parents. But i hope to God that this does not happen

Answer 28

gtfo out my house!!!!!