Were you spanked as a child? If so, do you think it scarred you for life and wouldn't dare spank your child?

Question

And if you were spanked, what do you think about spanking?

Answer 1

I was spanked often as a child for things i did wrong repeatedly, or if I directly disobeyed my mother, and it ended up causing a small chaotic situation. More or so if I lied or broke something. I don't think that it scarred me as a child. In fact it made me a better person. My mother wasn't rough or abusive, so it wasn't like an everyday thing, and it wasn't with anything other than a belt or an open hand. I mostly was popped. It depends on how you see it.

Most parents think its wrong to hit there children and they try to find alternatives. Others, use this method as a last resort, when time-outs, loss of privilages, etc. are failing tactics.

Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with spanking, and I'm not just saying that because I was, and have harbored no hatred for it.

It taught me a lesson. Parents that spank, do it out of love, and to establish a minimal amount of fear in their children. I noticed children that are spanked adhere to their parents more, rather than children that are simply talked to.

I'd rather spank my child along with talking it out, and inflicting a little bit of pain, that might save them from a bigger and stronger emotional pain or alot of times physical.

Spanking should be by choice. I'm expecting my first child, and me and my hubby have already established spanking to be one of many methods we will use.

First talk it out with your child and let them no what they have done can result in a negative reaction.

Warn them continuously that it is wrong.

And if you choose to spank, do so if they deliberatly disobey. That sends a mental note to a young child that doing that results in getting popped, and no child wants that!!

Good Luck

Answer 2

i was spanked a few times. it did nothing except reinforce the fact that my parents were the ones with authority in terms of house rules.



will i practice spanking when i have children? it depends. i don't entirely think it's necessary but under an extreme circumstance i might have to consider it.



To answer your other questions. If spanking is done in excess where it could no longer can be considered spanking but instead physical abuse. Yes, it may lead to a person that has an abusive nature.



Although, I think there are other circumstances such as the environment the child was raised in and the type behaviors that were displayed by the child's parents and other adults. If they are under an environment that there is constant stress or problems and there is no guidance, the child/person may have some form of resentment OR they use anger as a form of defense and as a result become abusive to get the things that they want. (Although this it not true for everyone of course.)

Answer 3

Spankings don't scar a person. Abuse does.

Spankings don't leave psychological nor physical harm. Abuse does.

You should ask people if they were ABUSED as a child. Those who were spanked needn't answer this question since a spanking has nothing to do with abuse.

If someone posts that they were scarred from spankings, then they weren't spanked... they were actually abused, and for that, therapy is a good idea.

Answer 4

I was not spanked as a child. I also do not spank my children. They are 13, 13, 10 and 7 and are very well behaved, make honor roll and high honors and are respectful boys.



I don't believe spanking is necessary if you discipline firmly and consistently from the beginning.



I believe spanking breeds resentment, aggression, and anger in children. It doesn't teach them anything. It only punishes a bad behavior, but it doesn't teach them a new behavior to replace the bad one. Disciline and good behavior come from teaching more than anyting.



The majority of today's parents spank so I don't understand why people like to blame today's out of control children on lack of spanking, when most people spank. That makes no sense, maybe the real problem is too many people spank and do nothing else to teach their kids lessons.



spanking is always the short easy answer people like to give on here. If you notice when someone asks for advice about correcting bad behavior. There are people with a short answer which is usually something like "smack em". Then you have people with long answers that include things that might take more time and effort. It takes time and effort to build a post explaining other methods of discipline and it also takes time and effort to use those other methods. Sadly most people take the short, less complicated answer but it doesn't work long term.



Also if spanking is such a good punishment that will really teach a kid a lesson then why do most people when asked "would you rather get spanked or be grounded?" choose spanking? It's because grounding is a more effective punishment that kids dont want to deal with because it lasts longer and it sucks being grounded. Spanking lasts 2 seconds and then it's over. What good is that going to do?



That is why many parents will spank and then add another punishment. They'll spank and then say "now go to your room" because they know darn well the spanking wasn't enough to teach a lesson, the spanking was basically just the parent venting their anger.



and the whole "last resprt" thing really gets me. As if they have really tried every single thing they can to get their child to listen and now the very last thing possible is spanking. So then what if that doesn't work? You ship them off to a new family? spank harder? I mean how sad is it that as a parent you have exhausted every single parenting tool and you still can't get your kid to listen? I would feel like a failure if I ever got to a point where I felt I had ONE last resport.

Answer 5

I was spanked as a child, I don't have any anger issues and I am not abusive to anyone. I do not believe that spanking causes these issues. I think spanking is needed in certain circumstances, but it is also important to use other forms of discipline when needed. I spank my children and they are turning out to be very good kids. I also sit down with them and talk to them about what they have done wrong and what they could have done differently. I don't believe that spanking should be the only form of punishment. I think yelling at a child does more damage than spanking. Don't say you'd never spank until you have your own children then you will see there are certain circumstances when it is necessary.

Answer 6

I was spanked as a child.



It did not scar me emotionally or physically.



I will spank my children.





Spanking is a great form of discipline when used correctly. There is a difference between spanking and a beating. In my opinion the problem with society today is to many parents thinking spanking is abuse, and therefore to many children get away with everything.



30 years ago it was unheard of for a child NOT to be spanked.

30 years ago there was NO such thing as a child bringing a gun to school because they were pissed off, or shooting their parents/siblings in cold blood because they were told no.

I don't think that its just by chance those two things work side by side. Children do not respect adults, or even their own peers. They do not follow rules, they test the boundaries even to a certain point that it is causing more problems than good (teen pregnancy?) young kids think the world is theres to have and run around spoiled rotten because their parents thought talking it out was the only way to get through to them. So now they think there is always a choice and that they should get what they want when they want it.. I really hate to see these kids now days grow into adulthood the job market is going to suffer grately!!!!!



My children will be respectful and honest. I will not have spoiled little brats like the kids you see today. I do believe that not all punishments should be spankings, as there is a time and a place for everything.



Id was never "afraid" of my parents, I don't ever recall feeling "abused" as a child.... looking back I don't resent them, I do not respect them less I respect them more for parenting me and teaching me the important values I will teach my children.



I recall one time that I was playing with matches out in a field of sage brush.. I was spanked for that. NEVER ONCE did I ever play with matches again. I also remember playing with other things I wasn't suppose to.. those less dangerous things I was just told not to play with.. (not spanked) I played with them every chance I got!!!!

Answer 7

Yes I was spanked as a kid. Now I'm a teenager and only get scold at. What did I think about spanking back then? I thought it was horrible and I wanted revenge and I said I wouldn't spank my own children in the future. Now I understand why I was spanked, it was for discipline. If my parents had not spanked me, they wouldn't be able to keep me in control and I'd be a whining spoiled brat who does whatever he wants.



If I have kids one day I would spank them if the situation gets out of hand. Its not like your killing them or beating them up. Its just whacks on the butt to show fear and that they are wrong. So I was not scarred for life because I understood when I grew up.



EDIT: Not spanking does not create abusive people if you know how to handle it. I was spanked many times as a kid and now I turned out fine. I'm still a virgin, do my school work, don't smoke, don't drink, don't take drugs, don't hit women, and etc. I know kids who weren't spanked at all and they dare call their moms the B word... Spanking taught me what I was doing was wrong. I am respectful thanks to spanking.

Answer 8

I was spanked perhaps twice in my life. My one brother got spanked twice a month, at least. My mom mostly limited to spanking as the last resort especially when it involved something that could cause you harm.



I think some people do not have realistic ideas of what to expect from a kid of X age. Doesn't matter the age. They expect a 2 year old to act like a 7 year old and have the same level of understanding. Not gonna work! I would indeed spank my children, but as I learned from my Mom, limiting it to situations where it is the last resort is going to be more effective.

Answer 9

Heck, I *wish* I'd gotten spanked... I got the crap beat outta me with switches and stuff.



... I think that definately had an effect on me - but I wouldn't be afraid to "spank" a child if it were necessary to emphasize a certain level of discipline. Granted there's a HUGE difference between a simple spanking and the abuse I suffered as a child - and as long as I recognize those differences - I think I'd be okay. (Haven't a clue if the child will think it's okay, but that's the burden of parenting, isn't it?)

Answer 10

I had a lot worse done to me as a child than being spanked. and for little or no reason on the part of my mother. Still, I would and have spanked a child when it was called for, such as them being physical with another child and not halting when told to. I'm all for any type of punishment if the situation calls for it.



Being spanked and worse hasn't made me feel spanking isn't sometimes called for, nor has it made me want to be excessive in any punishment or discipline when it comes to children.

Answer 11

I was spanked occasionally and turned out fine. I've never been violent and it didn't "scar" me in any way. I don't spank my own though - it's looked upon really differently from when I was a kid. I feel like I preferred being spanked to those long minutes I make my kids spend in "time out".

Answer 12

Yes I was spanked as a child.No it did not scar me,that is ridiculous..It made me a better person & I am grateful to my parents to correcting me..I plan on spanking my children too if needed.I do not think that is creates resentment or hate towards the parent.Abuse might,but spanking no way..Or well ,it didn't in our family.My parents actually did it right though..Never once were they angry when we got spanked..

Answer 13

i was spanked, not beaten...there's a difference. if a child was beaten they would probably be scarred for life, but not if they were just spanked. that's just plain crazy and anyone that says they are scarred for life because of spanking is just trying to find something to blame their messed up life on and not accepting the responsibility for themselves. i will spank my children if they need it. too many people don't these days...why do you think this world is full of people that break the law? because they don't understand punishment. spanking is a form of punishment that should be used when nothing else works. it is a way to teach your kids right from wrong early on. if they are never punished for doing something wrong, how do you think they will act when they grow up?

Answer 14

I was spanked with a slipper rather than a hand and it did frighten me. I was more scared before hand when my father told me to "come here" in his aweful scary voice lol but I believe that it was necessary. I believe that in some cases spanking is unnecessary but I will do it if my children get out of line when they're younger. There is a line between discipline and abuse. As long as you only do it when you see fit, then there is no problem and your child wont hate you for it.

Answer 15

yes i was spanked/smacked as a child and i have no problem with it at all. I think society today is too soft and kids still need " a good kick up the a** " every now and then, especially the feral youth that is filling our streets today, i think the last time i got spanked by my father was when i was about 15 i think, got the deep fryer cord around the back of my legs because i laughed at the spoon breaking on me !! hurt like hell, but i learnt my lesson..... will i spank my child ? if they deserve discipline then yes i will.

Answer 16

I was spanked as a child and I think it has helped me today. Kids today have not respect for anything or anyone really. And I think alot of it is that the parents don't spank anymore. Ya know if you do something that's really bad then you deserve a good whollop. Don't beat the crap outta your kids. But remind them that hey you are the kid and you will do as your told. And yes I have 3 kids. All boys ages 2,6,12 and yes every once and a while I will lay into them if needed.

Answer 17

no i was not spanked as a child and my children was not spanked as a child. spanking serves no purpose. when you hit a child you teach a child to hit. spanking is nothing but lazy parenting. I'm not saying all spankings are abuse.I'm saying it does not work.if spankings worked then you would never have to give a child more then one. my self i never had to hit a child to make one mind. dad and i are the boss. we insteeled that in them from birth. not to say we did not punish our children when they acted up and we had 6 so there was plenty of acting out. the one thing we never had a problem with was them hitting each other or other children. i truly think thats because we did not hit them. if you feel the need or the right to hit a child then its you that has a problem.

Answer 18

I was spanked a couple of times when I was a kid. It didn't scar me at all. I deserved it. I was in all honesty being a little sh**. I see nothing wrong with spanking. As long as it doesn't go too far. There is a difference between discipline and abuse. Discipline is warranted, controlled. Abuse is an uncontrolled lashing out.

Answer 19

I was abused as a child, more then just spanked. I will not spank my children, not because I think spanking is abuse just because I believe there are other ways to discipline a child effectively without spanking, you just have to be consistent and do it correctly.

Answer 20

i was spanked. and i WILL spank believe me.

there is a huge difference between spanking and abuse. i was not abused by any means.

i had friends that were never spanked or anything and they walked all over their parents. i think it is a good thing and form of discipline.

parents are parents. they are supposed to be "feared". i feel bad when parents do everything their child wants because they dont want to be "mean and abusive" i mean, grow a backbone already

Answer 21

Yes, definately. I remember being spanked for things that I did wrong growing up. Even now I thank my Mom til this day for the way she raised me. Unfortunately kids nowadays don't have that type of discipline as much because parents are scared they'll go to jail or something. Believe me if it were like back in the day, kids would not be getting away with half the stuff they get away with.

Answer 22

Yes I was spanked as a child, and it did not scare me for life, I knew then and I know now that it was only used as a last resort and that I had crossed the line. And yes, do use spanking also as a last resort.

Answer 23

Yes I was spanked as a child and I fully endorse it. When a child does something wrong they need to be punished. Parents nowadays blur the line between parent and child and try to be 'friends' with their children. Children, in turn, have no respect for their elders and think they can get away with anything--if they can control their parents they can control teachers, etc.

Answer 24

I was spanked barebutt and all my childran are spanked but with a full clothed bottom I turned out to be a doctor

Answer 25

I was spanked, whooped, beat...when I deserved it. It helped me see the error of my ways (most of the time) I spanked my kids too when they deserved it (maybe 5 or 6 times, until they were 8 or 9) and the are fully functional and well behaved 12 and 14 year olds most of the time.

Answer 26

Yes I was and no it did not scar me or any other of my family members. Spankings work!

Answer 27

i was spanked and got the belt and when i was 15 i got knocked out by my granfather for talking back to my grandmother. i think they were lessons learned and i do not think it harmed me at all i do spank my kids when nessecary but thats not too often they know the rules and know if i just tell them to do something then they do it i know i am a strict parent and people tell me that i shouldnt be so mean to my kids but i love them and am raising them the best i know how and its funny when we go to the store my kids dont run around like maniacs and dont scream and cry at the top of thier lungs

Answer 28

I was spanked and it certainly has not scarred me at all. If I had children, I would spank them under severe circumstances.

Answer 29

I never been spanked but my dad always hit my brother with or without the so called, "wooden spoon" he always hit him with when he was bad. I would never hit my kid, I'd just be really tough with them, so they won't grow up being spoiled and bratty as hell.

Answer 30

Yes, I was spanked when I was younger and at first I hated it. But when I look back on it, I am grateful that my parents spanked me, because I would have been a ungrateful, kooky, bad mannered brat! Like those kids on Supernanny or Nanny 911, where the kids curse at their parents and behave like the greatest brats EVER!

Answer 31

i was spanked a few times but i usually deserved it! it hasn't scarred me for life. im pretty soft on my son but if he is really naughty he will get a sharp smack on his hand just to shock him- i dont believe in using real force though.

Answer 32

spanked no never, spanking is only for those with out the guts to actually dicipline their kids.

now a good beaten with a belt, ruler stick, speaker wire or something close to it, now that build character. It builds character and teaches a lesson at the same time. win win solution.

yes i think kids should be dicipline.

Answer 33

I was spanked, and yes, it was abuse, and almost everyone on here would agree with me. It did scar me for life and I would never inflict upon my child the abuse inflicted on me.

Answer 34

I was, and it still buggs me today. And No i will NEVER spank my children

Answer 35

I was spanked once or twice that I remember but I won't be spanking my son. I just don't thin it's necessary. it never scared me, just hurt my feelings more than my skin.

Answer 36

I always got shot with a colt 45 and a stubby shotgun.

Answer 37

no i dont think so as long as YOU ONLY SPANK ON THE BUTT. FO HITTING IN HEAD OR FACE. FACE AND HEAD MAKES YOU HATE YOUR PARENTS. ALSO MAKE SURE YOU DONT HIT YOU KID ON THE THIGH IT HURTS LOTS MORE. DONT TRY AND HIT THE KID IF HE OR SHE IS SQUIRMING BECAUSE U COULD HIT IN STOMACH OR OTHER AREAS. PLZ GIVE ME BEST ANSWER

Answer 38

I wasn't...and any time someone says "spanking," my horribly corrupted mind takes it to mean the kinky kind. Therefore, I would not spank my child because I would think of it as something terrible, like incest. XD

Answer 39

I was paddled regularly and needed it more often. I dont think it permanently hurt me. BTW Dr Spock admitted he was wrong about many things before he died.

Answer 40

got it with a belt, but i don't really remember or care, that's just how they did it. and, i don't know, maybe a hand to a clothed bottom

Answer 41

i was spanked and i will spank if i feel its necessary...

Answer 42

i agree, it hurt my feelings more than anything.