Do you think we are raising a generation of wussies?

Question

Have you ever sat and thought about how the way we are raising children today is going to affect the climate of tomorrow?

I think honestly we are raising a generation of wussies. I hate the whole idea of "every one gets a trophy just because they were there."

Yea it is great when they are younger but as they get older they will expect to win just for showing up and have no drive. I think this whole PC culture we have saturated ourselves with is going to come back to bite us in the butt!!

I remember being a kid and when some one did not get picked to play dodge ball no one made a federal case out of it now I am sure the parents would sue because little looser was not picked and it hurt his/her delicate ego.

Do you think we are going to far with the every one is a winner out look on life? Do you think kids need to grow thicker skin? I mean that is how it was 50 years ago and we produced some of the greatest minds in history.

What do you think?

Answer 1

I completely agree with you. I know a kid who plays soccer and even when he completely fails at it he gets awards. It's ridiculous. He won't do anything special the entire game and on the way back to the car he brags, "Did you see all those goals I made?" And his dad says yep. He doesn't want to hurt the kid's feelings.



We are indeed raising a nation of wussies. We're raising a nation of precious little snowflakes who think the world revolves around them, they throw tantrums in the store until they get their piece of candy, parents try to 'reason' with their 2-year olds instead of laying down the law. I know a 15 year old who actually HITS his mom, but his mom still buys him a car and pays his cell phone bills. She admits she's afraid to punish his dumb azz because he's grown bigger than her.



I'm more than tired of seeing 6 year old kids demand toys, 9 year olds kids who tell their mother to shut up, 13 year old kids that won't give up their seat on the bus for old ladies, 17 year old kids who get pregnant and think raising a kid is going to be all lollipops and rainbows.

Answer 2

I agree. All forms of parenting has pros and consequences, so no doubt we are going to see some consequences as this new generation grows up. I read an article the other day about how children today are not learning how to cope with disappointment and set backs. This is a vital tool that helps you deal with the real world. The article was talking about how parents are actually going to the doctors to "buy" a diagnosis for their child so that they can get preferential treatment when taking tests in school. It seems we are so concerned about our childrens self esteem that the pendulum has now swung the other way, and we are catering to their every whim and raising children that will grow up with a strong sense of self entitlement. It's sad really, there is alot to be said about the sense of pride a child feels when they accomplish things on their own. We aren't fooling anyone, these children know deep down they didn't work that hard at something and yet are getting awards and praise for it. It must feel shallow to them. My parents were a little too hard on me, bringing home good report cards, there was always that lingering "well you could have done better", so I do not want to repeat that with my children, I do want to recognize their accomplishments and not make them feel inferior, but yes we have definately taken it way too far.

Answer 3

I agree. We are not allowed to tell anyone that their behavior is wrong. If we do we are intolerant and biggoted.



I actually was in this class where the teacher was talking about negative energy and that crap, she said that everything bad that happened was because when we were a baby our parents let us cry in our beds and we were told no too much before the age of two. I really had a tough time not laughing out loud, but everyone else was eating this crap up.



Also a 15 yr old girl just asked a question about a party where there was going to be drinking. I was appauled by the wussy answers she got, people told her to just go and act like she was drinking but not really, to just go and drink, or to make up a lie and not go. Some people told her to just stand up for herself and tell them she wasn't going because they would be drinking. Most people told her to be a big wuss.



Bottom line is the problem is that many parents are not teaching their kids values or giving them rules. They give their child whatever they want whenever they want it. They don't teach their kids to resepect others.



There are a lot of parents teaching their kids values and good behavior, but there are many who aren't. It really is sad.

Answer 4

I do agree adults are raising wusses.



Participation Ribbons and all that non-sense.

That goes back as long as I remember. It was there when I was in elementary school.



Parents these days and their everyone is a winner, my kid should get the same and lets shelter them from everything attitude makes me sick.



They tell their kids they are winners even though all they did was show up or even when their team didn't win. And parents these days wrap them in bubble wrap sheltering them from language, scary things and violence.



I think if kids are sheltered from language, scary things and violence then when they get older then they will be so easily scared or offended and how do people function properly like that?



It makes them into helpless little meek people.



I will be honest with you because I am not PC and I am going to let you know that I don't agree with you on one thing.

And that is making a 5 year old open a door for others or to reprimand them for letting the door close on someone.

I know at 5 I was no where near strong enough to get a door open myself unless it was at home but restaurant doors and doors of business were too big and heavy for me to get open.



Plus, I don't think many 5 year old are cognitive enough to grasp the concept of holding the door for the elderly because people should be holding the door for a 5 year old. I think about 8 is when they could do that but up until then i'll be the one opening the door letting my kids go in first and if anyone behind us needs the door held I can do that myself.

Answer 5

I think people have lost their heads and not using common sense anymore. They're taking what they read or see as '''proof'' of all of alls and there's no veering off the path of rightousness. It's like these doofs who think that girls who play with Bratz are going to grow up as mini-hookers, or Boys playing with guns are going to shoot you in real life. Or people freaking out about the vaccinations etc, or BPA in bottles. People should use their own heads in when it comes parenting, sure take what you learn but you don't have to follow it to an exact "T''



I think it's the most ridiculous thing I've seen so far.



Do I think people baby their kids, darn right I do. You can do that to a point, but eventually you have to think that what you've been busy teaching them, they'll learn and input into their life--eventually you need to let them expand their wings, make mistakes and move on from that. You can't coddle everything.

Answer 6

I'm not going to lie, I myself am only 16. But it's true, a lot of kids (don't want to generalize) these days are extremely lazy. Not only that, but they're also immature and spoiled... especially spoiled. I go on the bus and I see kids with 10 different ipods, yet their marks in school are poor. There are too many luxuries distracting kids, that's the problem.

Answer 7

The whole idea that everyone gets a trophy just because they were there is absurd, it also makes it more costly for us to sign our kids up for sports. I'm 27 years old, and YES i agree with you. Most kids now are more interested in playing with their video games or on the computer than going outside and playing. When i was younger i had an atari, but i also spend most of my time out doors using my own imagination, not one artificially created for me.

I agree with you on the teenage pregnancy thing too. That is not right. I have my own opinion on that...Go to wal mart during the summer, look through the little girl section of the clothing. Look at what some of the things are that people put on to their little girls, a few years ago i go to wal mart with a friend a few years older than me, with a daughter who is going to now be 9. She thinks that a halter top and a pair of shorts that have strings to tie up the sides are "cute" for her then 6 year old daughter.... I tell her straight up, you dress her in crap like that and don't be surprised when she comes to you at 15 years old and says she is pregnant.

Answer 8

You know... I grew up in the 80s and 90s and I agree with you. Back then things were not all "make it right for everyone." and most of us are well rounded adults. Not everyone is a winner and I think once a child is around 10 or so it is time to learn that and stop the "trophies for everyone."



Edit:

It is one thing to teach them to be kind, wonderful, good people...it is another thing entirely to praise every little thing they do.



You know what? I stunk in gym... did I get told "that's alright" NO! I was told to try harder, do better, do the best you can posibbly do... and you know what? I never once got an A unless I worked extra hard to deserve it. Today they'd get a pat on the head for trying something once and told "good job" even if they couldn't accomplish the mission. I could never climb the ropes as much as I tried....and I was told "good try" not "good job" because I didn't do the job..BUT I did try hard and I was praised for that, nothing more. That is the way it should be. My parents were never up and arms if my brother or I were sent to the hall for acting out.



My school even had this L.A.U.N.C.H program in which it aimed to reward kids for good behavior and ONLY good behavior. You collected paper apples for behaving (which I'll admit was a bit of a bribe and kind of dumb) and you could save them up to redeem them for books at assemblys. If you did not behave, forgot to do homework, forgot to bring pencils to class.. or whatever you had to sig the L.A.U.N.C.H book and if you signed so many times you could not participate in the party or special program at the end of the grading quarter. You had to sit in a classroom with the other kdis who could not go while most of the class was having a great time doing fun things. It was great because you only got rewarded for good things.

Answer 9

Stop asking questions like this I am writing a book on this subject! Lol. No really I am! I don't want to say why because I'll end up typing half the book. I'll say this though to you "Strong protect the weak?" IS WRONG! Should be "Strong prevoke the weak" BECAUSE how are they supposed to learn for themselves if they are robbed of the opportunity of the experience and self growth? Not only that The strong wins/conquers, not the weak!

Answer 10

Yes, it's terrible that as a society we're finally teaching people to be unconditionally nice to one another instead of groin kicking everyone you don't like because "they deserved it".



Hopefully the kids of today grow up and realize how insane and cruel our current social system and government is and do something to catch us up with the rest of the industrialized world. It's amazing that the current generation of adults in this country think that not having free universal health care is a good thing, or that blocking someone's right to marry because of who they love is the right thing to do.

Answer 11

I agree too. I understand that everyone makes the team when they're little kids. But as they get older, there should be cuts (at what age, I don't know). And, my thing now is that I've heard schools are asking that if you're going to have a birthday party for your child, you either have to invite everyone in their class or no one from their class. That's ridiculous. Entire class parties are too much in my opinion anyway, but for them to ask you to make it all or nothing, is the dumbest thing I've heard in a long time.

Answer 12

I agree that we applaud mediocrity (even when the child obviously has more potential) and that we can't say our true opinions for fear of offending (diplomacy is not the same as being over the top p.c.). It sets children up for failure and a lack of self-accomplishment when we take away goals and tell them whatever they do or don't do is fine. Everytime I turn on the t.v. to a reality show, someone is crying. It's great to be in touch with your feelings but there is a time and place.

Answer 13

I don't know about that. I'm about your age and when I was growing up everyone was really just starting to "give the kids a voice" and "make everything fair."

I actually remember in first grade I was itching, had a fever and felt terrible. I told the teacher and she had 2 get 2 other teachers to "witness" me saying it was "Okay" to lift my top a little to see if I had chicken pox on my back. LOL -- I did, btw!



I never got spanked (slapped once deservedly) and barely punished. My dad was out to get every teacher that sat me in time out or hurt my feelings.



In my experience it was worse when I was in school. It was the time when everyone started celebrating children and the transition from old school discipline to new age discipline. My sister was much older that me and almost fell out of her chair when I came home from school and said I wanted PB&J...with the crust cut off. "You can't eat the stupid crust?!" she screamed.



I think it started long before now....

Answer 14

I agree, I will probobly get attacked for this I do. Sometimes you lose, sometimes you get disappointed, sometimes your wrong, sometimes things just suck. I don't think we are raising a new generation of "wussies" I think we are raising children who are not going to know what to do in the real world.

Answer 15

Yes. I don't like it either. And I'm younger than you, so apparently I missed the new-movement train too.



It's completely moronic. Not every kid is a winner at everything, and I think artificially inflating them is not healthy for them or for the culture at large. Kids walk around with giant heads and feeling a sense of entitlement - and out the door goes manners, humility, responsibility and the drive to do hard work. Nothing is ever tough on them, and when something comes along that IS tough, they can't handle it.



I don't think this is that new, though. It must have started with the kids born in the 80's and 90's... how else do you explain the emo movement among that age group? Bunch of wussy little whiners from suburbia who think life is exceedingly difficult and that they alone understand its pain.



I'm all for bringing kids up with a sense of dignity and self esteem, but give them the dignity and self esteem over things they've actually accomplished - not just for merely existing! Any day now, I expect my girls to come home with medals for merely showing up to school and not being comatose!



I think accomplishments should be acknowledged, and what they don't accomplish or live up to should be A) not rewarded and/or B) worked on to improve.

If a kid gets a trophy for just showing up to a soccer match, where's the drive for them to do better?



I despise this over-protective, over-indulgent, over-valuing culture around children. The children are over-valued. There, I said it. I'm a parent and I think they are. They're suffering for it, and we are too.



You can teach your children to be polite and calm without over-inflating their self-esteem. People have gotten on for all of eternity WITHOUT spoiling their children to the max.

You'd think any child who had ANYTHING difficult in their lives turned out to be a miserable person by the way the self-esteem movement talks.



I agree with the poster above me - kids should get the hell outside. But now we have the same parents who over-value their childrens minor accomplishments telling us it's irresponsible to let them go outside - heaven forbid they play in the mud in the back yard and ingest some of it and get a germ on them, or climb a tree and get hurt, or play football and get tackled and get a scratch. And forget letting them go anywhere without a leash or GPS child monitor - they might get kidnapped if they walk 5 feet away from mom at the grocery store! Jeez, how irresponsible am I for allowing an 8 year old to go around the store with half the shopping list without an ankle-bracelet?! What kind of parent am I for allowing my girls outside all afternoon instead of insulating them in the soft, cushy world of Webkinz and Disney movies, where nothing bad or unpleasant ever happens?!



But really - how are they going to learn anything if there's nothing for them to overcome? How are they going to learn from mistakes if they're never told they made them to begin with? How are they going to cope with a critical boss, or teasing by a co-worker, or getting a bad grade on a career-related test? Are they going to go cry to mommy when they're pushing 30?

Answer 16

Do you have an actual question, or do you just wanna rant like the senile old lady in the post office who nobody listens to?



Not that you don't have the right to do that, I was just wondering if I should bother to take the time to come up with a well thought out answer, or just let you go, and maybe bring you a towel to wipe up some of the spittle you're spraying everywhere.

Answer 17

its because of all of the divorces and the mother always getting the kids and all of the boys are growing up in single mom homes or if the moms are remarried the step fathers let them do what ever they want.there is to many dads just doing the weekend thing with their kids and not doing the daily part of busting their *** and making sure they now they have to earn everything in life cause for the most part all they see is mom getting this"free" money every month and not earning it in their mind..i could go on and on but i will keep it short.

Answer 18

I do. Our boys are immasculated and we allow it.



Our children can't get a RED mark on their bad grades cause it might hurt their FEELINGS??? WTF!! Our kids aren't going to know how to survive in the cut throat real world. No spankings (not beating, spanking) You dont' have to respect your teachers, we allow them to dress like thugs and sluts at 11 years old. Its shaming as hell as a parent. AND i'M ONLY 39 YEARS OLD!!! I'm not some 'old timer' that is thinking of walking up hill both ways in the snow! lol

Answer 19

sadly, today's society is all about blame-someone-for-my-problem-because-it-cannot-possibly-be-my-own-fault.. whether is autism, fragile ego, stupidity, whatever! My child has autism, i don't blame the world for it. for a pedphile.. oh someone molested me.. so does that give you the rights to molest others? no one wants to take account of their own actions, always blame, blame, blame, or sue, sue, sue!!!!

Answer 20

The trophy thing bothers me, too.



Very worried this ultra liberal cycle is continuing



The day we stop expecting the best from our children (the best behavior, the best effort, the best manners, the best competition) is the day we fail them.

Answer 21

Oh yea & I am really sick of all this gay stuff on TV. It's like if you aren't gay you're not interesting.

Answer 22

yup, im about to be 37 and MAN the kids today are cry babiesl, parents are to involved and try to fix their kids problems, they have to learn to stand on their own

Answer 23

Yes, shame on us parents for trying to teach our kids good sportsmanship and good self-esteem. We should have our children taken away for trying to teach our kids to be kind hearted and compassionate. I don't think it's making kids wussies, it's trying to instill self-worth.



I don't think kids should grow thicker skin, I think they should be taught to be polite and courteous so it carries into adulthood.

Answer 24

I was with you until you referred to the child who is not picked as a "little looser" .

That is just ignorant talk.

Answer 25

You are all wallowing in a pool of self-righteous anger, but none of you can even spell. *sigh*



Learn how to spell and properly use grammar, then attack others if you wish.