What's so bad about having your parents pay for your things?

Question

To make a long story short, I was at my friend's house when her sister saw me with some expensive things. She asked me a bunch of questions about them and asked me how long it took to save up to buy those things and when I told her my parents bought them for me, she got all pissy and called me a spoiled brat and told me I should be paying for my own things.

I agree that I look spoiled to some because I carry a lot of expensive things, but I don't understand why having your parents pay for it makes you even more of a spoiled brat? I'm 14 and too young to actually work and although I save up from the money they give me weekly, they'd rather spend their own money buying what I want since they know how hard it is for me to save such large amounts.

A lot of people have been saying recently that if a teen doesn't save up for things by themselves, that automatically means they're spoiled. Isn't this judging? Or does it actually have some truth to it?

Parents, what do you think about my parents' style of parenting? And how do you feel about your kids saving up for expensive items?

Answer 1

Unless you don't appreciate what you have and expect to constantly get new things your not spoilt

Or if they buy you things rather than give you attention.



My daughter will have everything she needs but not all the newest gadgets when she's a teen.

I want to teach her the value of money so will encourage her to save up her money. Maybe make a deal, if she saves x amount ill pay the rest but she will have to at least contribute. If she gets good grades, does things she is supposed to and such then she will get treats but I won't buy her things unnecessarily.



Once she is finished with education if she is still staying with me she will be expected to have a job and pay towards household expenses.



Yeah its hard to save up money but get used to it, its how the world works and it would do you good to learn that while young so you can handle your own money when get a job and have responsibilities to pay for like a flat or car etc.

Answer 2

Personally, I don't think its too much of a problem, but it depends. Parents always love to spoil their children, especially if they have the means to do so, BUT, it can lead to a false sense of entitlement. In a way there is some truth to it. If you have chores or you do little things around the house to help your parents out, it probably won't be too much of a problem as it fosters a sense of working for what you get, however, if your parents just give you things and you do nothing to earn it, it could be a problem. Now I don't know you personally so I can't say much, but rewards without having to earn them could make you one of them girls who expects to be taken care of or have everything handed to them, which is completely unrealistic in this day and age. Saving money is always a good thing, as it teaches patience and budgeting, also a lot of kids just want something out of impulse and saving money gives them time to examine if its worth it or if they really want it. Basically saving and giving your children something as a reward can teach them the value of money and hard work. If you feel as though you have a good grasp of these things or a bit of an understanding at least then you should be fine when you are older, if not, you might be a spoiled brat. Just remember, your parents work hard for their money and no parent is perfect, so while you may love them and think what they're doing is right, doesn't mean it is. Their job is to prepare you for the real world, and in the real world we have to sacrifice and don't always get what we want. At the same time we love our children and want to give them the best and sometimes spoil them, so its hard to find a balance with these two parts of us in conflict. Keep this stuff in mind and you should be fine. To get what you want you have to work hard, and even then sometimes it isn't enough, you can't always get what you want. You might not be seeing that now, but be PREPARED. :)

Answer 3

OK she's weird.



And no, I don't think that makes you spoilt. I feel as a parent I have a responsibility to make things easy for my children, and when there older be there as a cushion through hard times as much as I can. And I like giving my children things. But there is one thing that concerns me with this whole spoilt debate - I see a lot of parents kind of detaching from their kids and whether they get a lot of material goods or very few, many are time or love starved. Whether or not their parent buys them things or teaches them "tough love" for the principle of it, it changes nothing, but the availability be it emotionally for support or for actual time is a far bigger factor. It's more about overall parenting than this single issue. Like deliberately not getting them things just for the sake of it doesn't necessarily teach appreciation or responsibility - it can just teach resentment and even selfishness, like when they're a parent their money is their money for them to do what they want with it. So the entire lesson of appreciation etc goes completely out the window.



Also, I have no interest in hiding my finances from them. It amazed me that by the age of 1 both of them worked out that particular days meant big shopping days and those days they would get things, while other days we stayed at home etc. And even which days meant going out for food instead of home-cooked meals. I'm not interested in deluding them that I have money and choose to withhold it or if it's for something else, I'll tell them. They know there's a finite amount, that there are limits etc, and it comes down to a choice of what I do with the money that's there, and that things cost money. You know your parents work for the money. And you know they choose to spend it on you. And you appreciate it. So right there, you've learnt responsibility and gratitude.

Answer 4

That because they are spoiling you. Alot of teens have to save up for things they want because there parenst can't afford it or feel bad about them buying it. Its called being responsible. Try it sometime?