Two year old turning three soon and I need HELP!!!!!!!!!!?

Question

My two year old (will be three in Dec.) is driving me INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I went through the terrible twos almost BY MYSELF... I think that it is ONLY GETTING WORSE!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!

here are my main problems...

He is not yet potty trained... KNOWS HOW!!!! Just won't. If I leave the diaper on him he somehow thinks that he is too busy and just WON'T tell me when he needs to go... If I take the diaper off, he does it perfectly...
Q #1.) If I do take off the diaper for three days at a time or a week... however long this will take... how do I transition over to no drinks at night time and actual underwear and how do I explain it to where HE can understand the difference in underwear and diapers...

My son cries for WHATEVER he wants... If I ignore him, he just continues to cry, I kid you not the longest I have ever allowed it to continue is 20 minutes IN ONE SETTING WITHOUT STOPPING!!!!
If I try to talk him through it he just cries harder and louder and I swear it just makes him more mad than before.... Time outs DO NOT work... we have literally spent OVER AN HOUR putting him BACK into time out every time he gets up... Yes I have even resorted to spanking him when it comes to time outs or something completely dangerous like when he was smaller, running into the street (which b.t.w. he no longer does) SO.....
Q #2.) WHAT THE HECK ELSE DO I DO AS PUNISHMENT!?!??! NOTHING MAKES THE CRYING STOP!!!!!!!!

Basically... All I want is for him to be potty trained and to make the constant crying stop!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DO NOT in ANY way shape or form neglect or abuse my son... I pay COMPLETE attention to him... We are working on numbers and letters already he is learning everything fairly quickly and he is smart... Why, if he could count to ten by the time he was 2 years and 4 months... Can he not take up potty training and just simply even telling me why he THINKS that the reason he is crying is a good one... Or even just tell me why he thinks he's crying?!?!?!

Also... how do I make him stop YELLING ABOVE ME when I am trying to have a conversation with another person... Whether it be on the phone or with my husband or with any other person within a mile radius of he and I...

Has anyone out there read any parenting books or watched a movie or had life experiences or something that can help me here... Because honestly... I do not personally have the patience, attention span, MUCH LESS TIME to read a book... I can't even have a simple conversation with my husband MUCH LESS read a flipping book!!!! SOMEBODY!! ANYBODY!!!! PLEASE HELP ME!??!!?

Answer 1

Plato is right. My granddaughter was doing the same things like learning colors & numbers well but yelled to get attention and hating the potty training idea. My son started the 1 2 3 deal and it worked. Potty training took a little longer and drove my daughter-in-law nuts but they got through it. Hang in there it will get better.

Answer 2

Yep, been there done that. I know exactly how you feel. Problem #1 potty training. I think he needs a reward system. Get some cheap stickers and make a chart from poster board. Tell him everytime he goes potty he gets a sticker. Everytime he doesn't, the sticker gets taken away. If he gets a certain number then you give him a prize. (something very small like a ball or coloring book.) That should solve your potty issue. Kids NEVER like to stop what they are doing and go to the bathroom so put some toys in the bathroom that he can play with when sitting so that he does not get bored waiting. That was a huge issue with us.

Now for the crying, yelling thing. You need to read a book called 1,2,3 Magic. It was given to me by my kids doctor and it was a godsend. Within 3 days, the whining and crying stopped and peace was restored. You can get it at Amazon and it is really cheap. I read a lot of parenting books and I wish I had started (and ended) with this one. Plus the system works all the way through about 13 years. All I do is start counting and they all scatter and do what they are asked. Better than a magic wand.

Answer 3

Try giving a prize for going potty in the potty. I use stickers because that many toys would be expensive and that many treats would lead to a very chubby little boy. I also taught my son to use the sign language word for toilet when he needs to go and he thinks its cool that is using a different way to talk. He started potty training at about 20 months, he is still working on it (he is 2 now) but he is doing really well. My daughter (his twin) still has never used the potty ever. She is just not ready yet. You can't rush these things. It takes time.

My sister's son had trouble potty training and was almost 4 before he potty trained. She eventually had to just put underwear on him and it was messy for a while but he got over it.

20 minute fit? Are you kidding? That is by no means a marathon fit. I have heard of kids screaming and yelling for hours. You can't give in. I usually just make sure they are in a safe place like there room and leave them they will calm down eventually. They may cry themsleves to sleep but you can't give in. My son throws fits sometimes (he is 2) and I hold him in my lap no matter how much he fights and tries to get away I hold him and talk sweet to him and rub his back and try to let him know that I love him even if he is throwing a fit but that he will not get what he wants. If that doesn't work or I start to loss my temper I just leave him in his room and put the baby gate up so he can't get out and wait for him to calm down.

Yelling above you while you are talking to someone else? Wow, that makes me think that you always stopped conversions to deal with your child when he was younger. My kids don't do that but I think that is becuase as long as they were not truely injured I would finish my conversion before I tended to them. They are 2 and have never interepeted me while I was talking unless they had a true problem. Just ignore him. It will be hard at first and friends and family will have to understand but he needs to learn.

Others may disagree with me but I think that it is okay to spank a child. I just don't think it works to stop a fit. Fits are due to anger and frustraction spanking them will just add to this. So while there is a place to spanking it should not be used to stop a fit. It will just make it worse and louder. Hope this helps!

Answer 4

As far as the potty training goes I would just put him in regular underwear. you may have some messes to clean up and a little bit of extra laundry for a bit, but he'll get it quickest that way. That's how I trained my daughter, she went from not even wanting to sit on the potty to fully trained in 2 weeks. This morning I started training my son the same way (just turned 3 this week) and he had a couple of accidents but was starting to get it by the end of the day. Be patient with him, kids all figure it out in their own time.

My son is the same as yours in that time-outs don't really work on him. You have to find something that he cares about, like a special toy or an activity that he likes to do. my son has a bear that he carries around with him and when he misbehaves the bear gets a time-out. I just take him into the kitchen with me and he can't have his bear for 10 minutes, or however long I would have given him a time out for. Most of the time now I only have to warn him that his bear will get a time-out and he listens.

Answer 5

Hi,



You have a number of different issues here to address. You have also given a great description of your child's conduct, but a less descriptive one of your own.



1. For the moment, I would make a doctor's appointment and talk to your pediatrician about the potty training. Your child may not be ready yet and if you ignore the issue he may decide he wants to do it. Also, if his friends are all potty trained and he is not he will start to feel like a baby. I would deal with the other issues first and rest on this one for a little bit unless your pediatrician says otherwise. Also, just curious if the misbehavior increased when the potty training became an issue.



2. If your child is yelling, I would calmly tell the person you are talking to that you have to stop talking now and will call them back after you deal with your son. Then calmly ask your son what he would like to do, tell him he has a choice of talking like the big boy you know he is or taking a nap like a baby. If he persists in yelling, send him to his room. You should check on him periodically, but if he insists on yelling let him do it. You may want to invest in a stop watch because even though it won't feel it at first, his yells are probably going to lessen in duration if you time it after a few times of this.

I don't want to be too long on this response so I am going to refer you to an article I wrote. Good luck. Abby

Answer 6

My son is not that old yet. But my sisters son when she was potty training him if he pooped in his diaper she would leave him in it for an extra 10 minutes. And he hated it and he started telling her when he had to go. Also she put a fruit loop in the toilet for him to aim at and he loved it. The screaming I simply would not put up with it. I would put him in his room and let him scream till he stoped. He know's how to work you and it works so try something different.

Answer 7

1. In my child psy. class I learned you must let the child feel like he is in charge. If he goes poop in his diaper ask him if he would like to dump it in the toilet. Also try this: if he needs to go potty have a Teddy bear that he grabs and takes to the restroom. While he is on the potty put the teddy bear on a little one. Always give them choices.



2. It is okay for them child to have this little bits of crying And yelling. Here is an idea: If it happens at a store just tell him that you'll be in the next aisle and when he chooses to stop that's where you'll be. Once he notices he is yelling and crying in front of strangers he will stop and go find you.



At this age they want to be independent. Give him choices. I hope I helped.

Answer 8

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