Do you think that a female who does not know how to cook or clean can be a good mom?

Question

Yesterday I had a dinner party with a bunch of my girlfriends and two of them got into a bit of an argument.

My friend Jenn sometimes makes really self-centred/I'm so hot/I'm so awesome statements, and my friend Alice always gets really frustrated when she makes statements like that. So yesterday Jenn stated "I know I would be the best mom ever". So Alice replied "Ha, you? You don't even know how to cook or clean".

Jenn is kind of lazy and self-absorbed. She barely cooks or cleans but when she does she makes a huge mess and doesn't properly clean up. She tells us her boyfriend complains all the time. Even when I have dinner parties I never let her help because one time she damaged one of my expensive pots.

I don't really know what I think about this, but what do the rest of you think? Do you think someone who doesn't know how to cook or clean will know how to tend to a baby? Are the two related at all?

Answer 1

I agree that cooking and cleaning is not the MAIN parts about being a good mom - rather it's about the love and support the child needs. HOWEVER, it is the basics about being a parent. Without cooking, what is the child going to eat for the rest of their lives? Burgers? Instant ramen? No. Thats not healthy. Without cleaning, how is the house going to stay clean? The child would probably come home from school dirty and sick on some occasions and germs will stay on whatever they come in contact with.



It is also mentioned that her boyfriend complains all the time and she damaged your pot. If her boyfriend complains all the time, he probably won't help out on the chores and Jenn probably won't either. She damaged your pot, which means she doesn't know how to clean. Practice makes perfect, but judging from your details of her, it seems like she isn't willing to learn.



So no, she may be a loving and supportive mom, but she will be a lazy and slacking parent.

Answer 2

You can be a good mom if you can't cook or clean. The most important thing as a parent is to love & to spend time with your child and to enforce rules, teach manners and respect so they will grow to be a confident and mannerly adult.

But, cooking and cleaning ARE incredibly important as a child needs a clean enviorntment and healthy meals. Buy a cook book for dummies or start watching You Tube videos of cooking simple, well balanced meals. Google simple info on nutrition.

As for cleaning, I'm sure she can sweep, mop and Hoover? Baking soda cleans just about everything so you're covered there!



These are simple skills she could easily learn and aren't 100% essential to be a mother but to me, she sounds too selfish and lazy to have a child. I pitty her boyfriend who has to do all housework!

Answer 3

it is likely they will not be a good parent if they don't cook or clean properly. also with cooking they need to cook more then just junk food or bad tasting food. it needs to be real food that is edible and healthy. now there are crazy health nuts out there whose food tastes horrible because they have some weird type of eating like raw food diet with no cooking so things like eating meat with no cooking but other meal preparation stuff like that. i know some families can do microwave meals so live off reheating frozen foods that is not a good example but sometimes that is all they are left with. i know that as a single parent if there is no welfare or even with welfare regardless if the father is supportive or not like it is still wrong for her not to do her duties societal expectation of what being a mother is all about. there is more to being a parent then cleanliness or what you eat. but alot of times if you can't do something small and simple as be neat and organized on certain major tasks they will fail or do not so great on other things. if they can't take care of the basics as what has been mentioned they probably won't be good disciplinarians or on time or respectful they may not spend enough time with the kids. you mights see it as a small problem if they don't cook or clean. but there most likely will be other issues. in it of itself that doesn't sound bad it doesn't mean you failed parenting if those are the only 2 things you didn't do well so you still pass on your quality of raising kids most likely. there is nothing child protective service can do as long as the kids are healthy and/or fed so alive and surviving. now you could feel that if a person makes a few mistakes it won't lead to others you may not see this behavior as dangerous especially when it is not super wild stuff. but really not cooking and not cleaning really is not normal behavior. maybe for someone with no kids you can get away with it but there is a high probability a person is lacking a preparedness if they refuse to take care of such basic needs. part of family is to help each other and everyone has thier duties. it is literal laziness to not cook or clean. it could be a contribution of a mental illness that they have and so maybe they need more outside attention i don't know. the point again i think they will have other issues like more likely to lie, more likely to argue, more likely to not be fair, more likely to not budget finances correctly, more likely to not be normal in general it only increases the probability of other bad behaviors when you refuse to do the basic minimums.

Answer 4

Maybe. That's what mothers are for. To cook and clean. When the husband leaves for work and the children return home from school and other activities, they deserve to come home to a clean house and good food cooked with lots of love by their mother on the table, ready. Mothers also give advice, but every mother should know how to cook and clean. It's a part of every day life. Those are the top two things every mother should know how to do. The whole family will appreciate you more.

Answer 5

At least one person in the family (husband or wife) must be able to cook and/or clean. Cleaning is not hard, you don't need any skill whatsoever. Along with cooking, grab yourself a recipe book and you're good to go

Answer 6

It is important, especially for a woman before she becomes a wife and mother. She is able to take care of herself and keep a home. When she is married, she will be able to take care of her family--prepare meals for them and keep the home clean. She's the woman of the house. A child will do well if he or she has good nutritious home cooked meals and a clean environment to play in. A woman who can't cook or clean can be a good mother. I know of one woman who didn't know to cook until after she had her daughter.

Answer 7

Yes cooking and cleaning has nothing to do with being a good mother. It doesnt matter if you can cook or clean. Just like if you can cook and clean you still can be a bad mother!

Answer 8

You're probably a good mom either way. I cook and clean for my girlfriend all the time. My mom raised me right so my girlfriend loves this about me. So yeah , it's a good characteristic to have so you can pass the trait down naturally to the offsprings.

Answer 9

Cooking and cleaning are not what makes a good parent... in fact, sometimes having some dishes in the sink and glitter on the floor means that mom was spending time with the kids interacting rather than trying to maintain a magazine cover worthy house.

Answer 10

I cant cook, at all. as in, i made dinner for my boyfriend and he got food poisoning, the next night i tried to make burgers and literally started a fire. Not going to lie, i was a spoilt kid who never did any chores or cleaning, all i know is how to put the washing machine on and wash up but oh my god dont even show me an iron because it will go wrong and yet im expecting a baby girl in April and i am slowly learning everything (very slowly but surely) i am learning everything to get ready! You can be a good mum without home cooked meals or without cleaning 24/7

Answer 11

Cooking and cleaning is something all adults need to be able to do, both male and female before they start a family.

Answer 12

Your friend Jenn sounds insecure. Secure people don't feel the need to blast how they are awesome. Since she can't take care of herself, she's not magically going to become a good mother. Hopefully her boyfriend realizes this and uses condoms and doesn't trust her to use birth control.



Look up "narcissist" and see if it applies to Jenn. And the next time she says something like this, just say "Oh, ha ha! You're so funny!"

Answer 13

No but you have to learn and i dont believe anyone doesnt know how to clean that sounds like a lazyness thing to me. You have to clean if you have a child

Answer 14

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Answer 15

it would be fine if the dad on the other hand was able to do those things. There's alot of pressure on girls to be a certain way while guys are just expected to be mediocre parents. Both types of expectations are harmful.

Answer 16

If the responsibility must lie on her, then yes, she should probably learn how to do so, and it would be for her benefit also.

Answer 17

No, and not a good wife either.



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Answer 18

Your words and behaviors should example a womb. The father should make it known he is most alpha.

Answer 19

Absolutely not.

Answer 20

Just be u