My 7yo survived cancer. She now wants hair extensions and earrings to make her feel girly again-I Can't decide

Question

She thinks that when her hair fell out, she looked like a boy but was too ill to care. Its starting to grow back now, but is very thin and quite short. She feels it looks like a boys haircut. All she wants now is look girly again, and thinks hair extensions and earrings would do it. As she pointed out, she never cried when she was being put on her chemo drip or having bloodwork, so she's sure she can handle getting her ears pierced
Normally, I would consider extensions and earrings strictly out of bounds for a 7 year old, but if her self image is affecting her confidence, then it is going to affect her ability to make friends, be part of a group, & to fit in, and I’m worried it may have long term effects. Also, after everything she has been through, and with all the courage and determination she has shown, I’m starting to think “You want hair extensions, we’ll go to the hairdresser, you want your ears done, we’ll ask the doctor if your immune sysem is up to it."
What do you think?

Answer 1

7 year old girls that have gone through that in my opinion should be allowed to have either a nice wig or extensions in their hair to make them feel good. She has went through so much that I would see no problem in letting her feel "beautiful" and girly. I agree about the talking to the Dr about the earrings because that might cause infection but she can do clipons if need be, they have great ones available now. The hair thing though I would let her go for it, let her have some good times after having all that horrible stuff.

Answer 2

If this was my little girl, I would let her do virtually anything.



If you decide to go for it:



The earrings.

It is the right decision to make sure you see the doctor first, if her immune system is too weak to fight infections effectively (if this is the case she will probably already be on antibiotics as a precaution) then an infection could spread through her body pretty quickly. Septicaemia could be life threatening.



If her immune system is still weakened, but is not dangerously low, your doctor may okay the ear piercing. If he does, see if the doctor will do it. A lot of people who work in accessory stores or corner jewellers did a one day course or learned to pierce ears from a book.



For her, getting them done in the cleanliness of a doctors office will mean that there is less chance of an infection. A shop, which will quite often do it out in the open with everyone watching, will be full of coughs, sneezes and farts.



Also a lot of the equipment used is shops is "suspect" to say the least. Make sure they use a disposable cartridge system. Many of the "guns" in use can't be cleaned properly, and a dirty gun with traces of other peoples blood on it is not ideal - even if the studs are sterilized.



If your doctor doesn't pierce ears, try to find a pharmacy that will.



I would also recommend you take her to somewhere like Claires tomorrow morning, before you see the doctor, and buy her some clip-ons or magnets, even better, let her choose them. Explain that until the doctor thinks she is well enough, she can't have her ears pierced because she might not be well enough to fight off germs if they get in the holes, but she can have these for now. Explain you will make an appointment to ask the doctor/you will ask him next time you have an appointment.



As you are reluctant to let her pierce them because of her age, it will also be easier for you to get used to seeing her wear clip-ons for a while first.



Also, both of you must be extra-vigilant with the aftercare.



The hair

If she will go for a wig, then that would be the better option, but if you decide on extensions. then take her to a good, reputable (and unfortunately that means expensive) one.



They will be able to advise on whether her is able to take them OK.



In many areas, you don't need experience or qualifications to be a hair dresser, or sometimes about 30 hours worth of nightschool or a 4 day intensive training course. Joanne's corner unisex salon or Barbaras mobile hairdressing probably won't have the experience.



Places like Toni & Guy offer apprenticeships, and until they are totally confident in their students' abilities - they perform their work for free or cheap on 'models'. If you explain why you have come, then you will be given a consultation with someone who really knows what they are talking about - and if it is a bad idea, they will tell you straight.



Give them a call first as you may need to make an appointment.



The last thing she needs is college students who are on their work placement using her as their guinea pig.



If she gets extensions, make sure she knows how to look after them. You don't want them to fall out first time she brushes her hair.

Answer 3

I agree with tll answer about extension ruining the hair she does have coming in. And a good wig will last until her hair grows in more where extensions only last 6 months tops and are expensive.



If her doctor says it is OK I would let her pierce her ears also.



My mom had cancer and hated how wigs felt on her head, so I guess I would tend to let her have the extensions anyway after we checked out wigs, chances are my mom was not given a really good wig. It was free from the Cancer Society and I hate to say it but all the make up they gave her that was donated by Clinique was terrible colors no one would want. I am not bad mouthing the Cancer Society rather the people or companies donating the stuff.



Right now it is important for her to rebuild her self confidence along with her immune system so I would say yes.



My niece had cancer at 11, and with her type of cancer if you radiate the spot you can never radiate again, so they chose not to, but it was still very hard on her the surgeries and how she was treated at school. It was a rare form of juvenile cancer and was on her wrist and arm and everyone kept asking her if she had tried to kill herself.



My heart goes out to both of you!! You daughter is beautiful because of her courage and because she is a survivor!

Answer 4

Being a cancer survivor, I would let my daughter have her ears pierced if it was ok with the doctor. Hair extensions, I'm not so sure about. The need to clip on to something and if her hair is just starting to grow out and is very fine, the weight of the extensions may cause problems.



There are some really cute hats or wigs for children who have undergone chemo that may make her feel better until her hair gets to a better length. Also frequent hair trimming will help keep it looking great while it grows out.

Answer 5

She sounds like a strong courages little girl. You should feel proud of her for staying so determined to get well with a positive attitude through it all. I really think that for her, you should let her know that people can be mean but there will be people who will see that she is a beautiful little girl. At the same time, I think you should let her maybe get some hair extensions until her hair does grow back longer if you and her htink it will beniefit her self-esteem. Earrings for her age is not uncommon and maybe if you, her, and the doc agrees, small earrings that are an appro style for her age might be taken into consideration. Also, maybe spend some bonding time with her like a mother/daughter movie night even if it's at home. After all you've probably been through, establish more of a connection with her that would last a lifetime of trouble yers to come [teenage years you know that one day she will hit and need you're trust.]. Also, because after all that heartache it'd be nice to have some special family happiness time.

Answer 6

I can speak from experience (though, I am a young adult) when I say that having a nice head of hair can make the world of difference in how you feel about yourself (and sadly, how others treat you as well). I've been wearing human hair wigs for over a year now and I kick myself for not wearing them sooner. If you invest in a really high quality wig (not a cheap one like Brittney Spears wears) not only will it last a while, but it looks so real, no one will know she's wearing a wig. They will all think her hair has grown back.

Here is a great message board that will help you find information on wigs, hairpieces, extensions, etc http://groups.msn.com/WigSupport

Fitting in at school is a HUGE thing for a girl her age, I would definitely do this for her.

Answer 7

that is so wonderful that your child made it through such a terrible situation, god bless your family. i think that earrings are perfectly fine at 7, i know a lot of people get it done when they are babies, but for me, my mom waited til i was old enough to decide that i wanted them, and i was 7 when i was ready, i did the same with my daughter, and she started asking at 4 and i warned her that it will hurt a little so she held off for awhile and at christmas last year, she was 5, she really made her mind up and wanted to get it done, so i let her do it, and she was very tough about it, didn't cry at all, and loves them a lot. most girls her age have them, and obviously your daughter is a very tough girl, let her have them. the hair extensions, i don't know, thats a harder decision, why not try some colorful bandanas for now, or some really stylish hats...but you know a girl wants hair, that defines most girls, i think if it was my daughter and she went through something as painful as yours has, and it meant so much to her, i would let her. why not!!! go for it, there is a good reason for it, and once her hair grows out then remove the extensions. just get some that look natural and not too long and wild. after going through so much, she deserves some happiness. and if thats what it takes, it's not really hurting anyone. let her know it's temporary, and that you want her to be happy. good luck and god bless.

Answer 8

As a person who has grown up pretty much in hospitals...not because of cancer but sick non the less...looking different especially at that age definately takes its toll on a kid. For as long as she was in treatments and as long as her hair has been falling out and her energy was lowered she hasn;t been able to feel like "normal" kid. In a sense she wasn't, she was fighting for her life....she was going though things many adults dont' even have to do in there lifetime. Now that she is feeling better, all she wants to do is feel "normal" again...especially because her energy is back and shes not feeling so sick shew wants everything back...who wouldn't? You are able to provide it for her whats the harm? Shes been through Hell and back, shes only a kid once and shes already been robbed of a good chunk of time of her childhood, and not feeling like shes "normal" because of her apprence her confidence level wil go down hill and so things just end up being normal anymore because kids sense that. So friends will be hard to come by. I think you should get the extensions and her earspiersed...that was my birthday present from my sister when i was 7 years old. Shes absolutely right that she can handle the pain of the ear piercing if she can handle bloodowrk and Chemo...i know that its not easy to be poked with a needle 10 times in a row. Let her have it theres more pros then cons with it

Answer 9

Because of what she has gone through I say it's ok. Traumatic things like this make you grow up faster than usual. She is at a very strange age for healthy girls. They start to feel like they have to fit in and have to have a certain image. I would say it was sending the wrong message to give your daughter extentions if she has not just went through chemo. But since she did, I think its ok. Just tell her that you are doing this because you are so proud of her and you want her to move past this point in her life and be normal again. As far as the ear piercing I got my daughters done when she was 5, I don't view it as a big deal. Congrats on her beating the cancer too. She sounds like a tough little girl

Answer 10

Hi Hun, first of all I just wanna say sorry for what you've gone through because I think no kid should go through that hard experience at such young age. I think you should let her have her way, earrings are fine and I would try to talk her into a wig, if she doesn't want it then I would give in for extensions. I also think it would affect her confidence, and she's been through so much I would just "spoil" her with this. If I were her mom I would just try to make her life "life worth it", to make it fun, to enjoy every single minute of it and not be so uptight with things that aren't that big a deal. Earrings and a wig or extensions are such tiny things in life, let her enjoy. This makes me think how we don't know about God plans and how we have our days counted in this world, let her be happy. Good luck to you mom and to your little angel who was so strong to survive cancer. God bless.

Answer 11

Aww that is so innocent and sweet. God bless her heart and your's too mama!



My 7 year old just got her ears pierced. Sounds fine to be as long as the doctor says it's okay!



I don't see anything wrong with hair extensions either. They aren't going to hurt her or what not. Good extensions from a reputatable salon is going to cost you a few pretty pennies though but if my child went through something as traumatic as cancer and survived it, he'd be spoiled out the ying-yang! :)



I say yes! Don't put it off one more second! Go for it.

Answer 12

SHE HAS BEEN THROUGH ALOT....

I think if any1 deserves this treat SHE definetly does, Especially as she is so young.I dont think thats 2 much 2 ask at all

Ear rings - not a problem its feminine n girly

Extensions - Think it a great idea thats what make girls feel feminine n extensions lasts 4 ages n can get then in natural colour...If u want 2 compromise suggest a wig bt womt be as good as extensions as ur wee girl extensions look n feel real



I think u need 2 relax n look at other children her age se has been through so much i can never imagine i dont think shes askin much at all

Answer 13

i agree i would ask the doctor about the earrings if she is up to it then let her have them mine were done at age 3. the hair extensions i say let her have them let her feel like a girl. she sounds like she has been through so much at such a young age. in fact run into the room right now and hug her for me and tell her good luck. i say let her do it and live as much as a normal life as she can. if you cant afford the extensions then buy her some really cute hair clips, or hats. if i could send you my hair off my head i would i know she would love the red curly hair i got. my heart goes out to you and your family especially your daughter. good luck and much love

Answer 14

i think you should allow her to put extensions in!!

my now 4yr old has also been through cancer treatment and during this period he lost his hair and I lost some of my hair too!!i have since put extensions in my hair using micro beading..they dont hurt and can be taken out at any time.i actually put these in myself they take no effort and are the safest and easiest way to maintain hair without damaging your own hair and can be cut and styled just like real hair.these poor kids have been through so much..pamper your princess, as for the earings until her counts are up i proberbly wouldnt be piercing the body just yet but there are great clip on earings available if that helps.if you need help with the micro beading let me know..cheers!!

Answer 15

Well done to you and your brave little girl for beating the cancer!



Bear in mind that hair extensions put a lot of strain on the roots of the hair, it would be awful for her if it fell out again :( Are bandannas fashionable where you are? A lot of the little girls in my son's class wear them (he's 8).



I'd say yes to the pierced ears in her case, assuming it's medically advisable. If not, there are those magnetic ones which can be pretty, you lose a lot but it might be worth it...

Answer 16

I would definitely say yes to earrings but extensions are a mess. They are hard to comb through, and most of the time they show through. It also damages the hair. I think that might be to much for a seven year old.

Answer 17

she's too young for hair extensions. I don't think the stylist will say yes to that. I would rather just buy her a nice wig (or some) that makes her feel just as girly as she wants. The earrings are ok. :) You can help her with clothes as well.

Answer 18

I would say go for it. Obviously this is bugging her and as you stated it's affecting her self esteem.



My son (also 7) was being picked on by just 2 people in regards to protruding ears last year..with much thought and after having spoken to the pediatrician/plastic surgeon we had an otoplasty. SHOCKING I know..let me just say that hands down it was the BEST thing we EVER could have done for him. He is beyond happy and has that sparkle back in his eyes.



Your daughter has been through chemotherapy and a women is all about their hair regardless of age..if it's bugging her for and your okay with it..Go for it. You have to do what is right for your daughter in lieu of her circumstances



Good luck

Answer 19

Personally I think she's a bit young for hair extensions regardless but if you think it's okay then it's worth considering. If the doctor says it's okay for her to get her ears pierced then I say go for it! But perhaps instead of getting hair extensions you could find pictures of actors or other famous people who epitomize 'girly' even if they have short hair. You could help her find her own girliness no matter what her hair looks like. Obviously I don't know how short her hair is right now but there are all sorts of hair things she could also use for a cute touch. Claire's has all sorts of nice little accessories like that...not to mention ear piercing!

Answer 20

Let her!!!!



Poor thing she has been through so much and I'm sure has shown more strength and courage than many adults. What are some hair extensions and earrings if they make her feel better about herself.



Good luck to your entire family.

Answer 21

ok i will decide for you - get her the hair extensions and earrings and throw in a few cute outfits too as a survival celebration. She needs to feel like a normal 7 yr old.

Answer 22

I think earrings are a really good idea. No hoops though, maybe little flower earrings with crystals in them or something cute and little. If you are really really against pierced ears they also have the sticky earrings. I think no to the hair extensions though. She is a little to young for that. Make sure you constentiley tell her she is beautiful also and try to keep her self esteem up.

Answer 23

Let her get hair extensions and earrings. She's been through enough already. Let her be happy and begin to heal inside from this terrible disease. This shouldnt be an issue at all. You've conquered the worse now let her enjoy life...Be happy and thankful to God so don't let this be an issue...

Answer 24

Get her the extensions, but make her wait for the earrings, how about a manicure in the meantime?



Celebrate her life and help her through this phase of her total healing.

Answer 25

she's been through so much for anyone really, espically a seven year old!

ABSOLUTELY!!!!!

yes she is young, but the circumstances are different for her than a normal seven year old. i got my ears pierced when i was seven, and if she cant them done yet, try clip ons. having short hair for such a young girl could cause self esteem issues because its the one thing that makes you feel really girly, since you cant wear make up or a bra yet.

really consider the really issue here. its obviously really important to her, and she should get a gift for living through so much.

good luck:)

Answer 26

Your daugther has gone through a lot more than a normal 7yr old will, all you need to keep doing is continue to be her number 1 support and if she feels that getting earrings will give her that little boost to even feel like a girl, please take her and get her ears pierce.

You know your daugther more than anyone else so i do believe that you will make the right decision. ; )

Answer 27

she's been thru sooo much. i would let her get extensions as long as it isn't too outrageous. just enough so that it looks natural. she's young and just wants to fit into what she thinks a "normal" little girl should look like. let her get her ears pierced too. she deserves it. don't forget to tell her how pretty she is even without all that stuff. good luck and god bless!!!

Answer 28

I am a parent to a 3yr old boy and a 1yr old daughter...and if my daughter was 7 and had gone through everything that your daughter has and she asked me for what your daughter asked...I would do it in a heart beat....what is wrong with letting her feel good about herself after everything she has gone through..she needs a confidence boost and she doesn't want to look different in school. I would do it and I am happy that your daughter is better. May God continue to bless your family.

Answer 29

I think you should do it. That girl has been through so much. I think its about time she gets some pampering. I think she feels as if her life was kinda put on hold b/c of it (yet it still was an experience) So if she did that she can feel that she's normal and healthy. I'm so glad that everything is better with her. God is amazing how He works.

Answer 30

if it is with in your budget then i think i would be saying yes to that request keep it so that she will be only getting things like the "girly things" not in body piercing or anything like that.

she has missed a few things in life i would think so be careful that she does not try and over compensate for that when she is older.



good luck with this

Answer 31

well she is 7 but think of it this way, shes been ill, and she had to suffer all this time and now all she want is to look and pretty again like every girl should especially her she deserves this!

and if you let her youll make the right choice.

Answer 32

I would give her whatever she wants. She been thru alot for a 7 year old. Time to make her feel like a princess.

Answer 33

Why not, the child was face to face with death. Spoil her a little, her self esteem and self worth might have been lost. And with these mean *** kids out here, im pretty sure they are not doing anything for her self esteem, its your job as her mother to step in.

Answer 34

I agree give the girl what she wants. Sounds like lfe has been tough and I would do whatever it took to help her get back to just being a little girl. Think about how you would feel if it was you.:)

Answer 35

Go for it. Feeling good about yourself is so important for young kids and while I normally wouldn't recommend either at her age she deserves it. Checking with her doctor is a good idea.

Answer 36

Take her to a specialty wig shop....the extension could ruin what hair she has...nice wigs w/ real hair will ruin at a good price, the shop will be able to teach her how to put it on and take care of it....

Answer 37

Check with the Dr. of course, but I say go for it. If it will help her confidence and you can afford it, doesn't she deserve something nice?

good luck!

Answer 38

She has been through more than any child should ever bear, I think anything that's going to make her feel better is worth doing!

Answer 39

I would let her do it. Ear piercings aren't bad. If it will make her feel better about herself then go for it.

Answer 40

i would let her get both

she's been through so much at an early age she deserves a hugee award

Answer 41

earrings are fine..

but extensions? Hmm.

Im not sure on that one.

Answer 42

Let her do it.

Just okay the piercing with a doctor first.

Answer 43

I don't see anything wrong with it. Your daughter has been through a lot and deserves it.

Answer 44

let the baby have it she has been through alot let her feel pretty again

Answer 45

I say go for it, make her feel good about herself. Which in turn will make you feel good about doing it for her

Answer 46

she's been throguh so much already please do this for her. especially the earrings. for hair extensions, why not talk her into a wig instead?

Answer 47

Please let that baby have whatever she wants as long as the doctor okays it. She has been through so much. Let her have her fun now.

Answer 48

Yes that baby girl have what ever she wants!