Stay at home moms -- how were you able to do it financially....?

Question

Especially during the high cost of living, gas prices, etc.? How did you budget? I would love to stay home with my 4 month old daughter, but I really don't think it is possible. Any ideas for working at home?

Answer 1

In a word: eBay!

Answer 2

Tough spot to be in...What you are experiencing with your wife is not an uncommon phenomenon. You wife has carried and given birth to a baby and you need to understand that she has also become a mother and not just a wife with a masters degree. If you attempt to force her to go back to work, you will no doubt create a great deal of tension. She also knows in her heart that there is nobody out there that will love and care for your son like she will, so you will have a very hard time convincing her that anyone is good enough to take her place while she is at work. You said she has her masters degree, is there not something she can do from home to earn an income that will not take her away from the baby. Something she can control the schedule with and make up the difference? I am sure that if you talk with her and show her the money shortfall and ask her to look into doing some consulting on the side or counseling or something that she can use her degree in, you will find that she will be much more responsive. That way you can share your financial concerns with her and she will also see that you do care about her desire to stay home with your son.

Answer 3

My husband and I made the decision when we got married that when the kids came, I would stay home. I quit working when I was 4 months pregnant. We lived in a one bedroom apartment then so we were lucky because we had our first and I quit before we got ourselves in to a lot of financial responsibility (i.e. a house, cars, debt). There have been times during our marriage and the almost 6 kids that have come along that we needed some extra money and I've done things here and there. eBay, paper routes, etc. The biggest difference is that we keep out expenses low. We live in a decent, 3 bedroom house. We don't have new cars every two years, we don't shop at the mall for clothes or really anything, we don't have cable, we don't eat gourmet meals for dinner, etc. We decided a long time ago that me being home with our kids was worth more to them and us than all the great "things" we could buy if I worked.

Answer 4

90% of the people out there live way beyond their means with out without children. Is your car paid for? If not pay it off or sell it for a car you can afford. People drive cars that usually cost more than their annual income, example Chevy Suburbans. How many people make $50K + a year? If your car is out of bounds with your income find a nice affordable car that is 2-3 years old with a payment under $200 a month. If your car is paid for, keep it that way. Cars are not status symbols, that are for transportation. Look at your eating out pattern. Eat out once a week at a place that won't break the bank. Most people eat out 7+ times a week with real meals and fast food. It all adds up quickly. Look at your meals at home. Steak and other expensive foods also add up. Look at the cost of each meal and how far your dollar goes with your food budget. Don't buy expensive pre-made foods when you can buy regular food for less and get way more for your money. If you have any credit cards with balances STOP using them today and start paying them off quickly. As long as you have credit card debt you will never get ahead. Those are just some things. Go buy a Suze Orman book it will change your life and it is very easy to understand. Also the book personal finance for idiots was a great book. I read it about 15 years ago and it also changed my life. The biggest deal for what you want is to stop shopping for anything unless it is a real NEED and not a want. Most people live to fulfill their WANTS. Look at your cable tv bill and cell phone bills. If you can really do without it and it is a luxury cut it back or get rid of it all together. It is hard, but once you start it isn't that bad because it is for the overall health of your family. Your child should not be in day care at 4 months old! That should be motivation enough for you to give up the extras and live a better life. You had children so you can raise them not so the day care people could raise them. Priorities! Good luck.

Answer 5

It all starts in your head and your heart. You and your husband need to make this decision as a team. Set a date night (a one income date night, i.e. after the kids go to sleep, you make a pot of coffee and sit at the kitchen table holding hands), discuss what you want and explain why you want it. Allow one another to speak and really listen to the concerns and ideas you come up with. Write everything down! Have your bills in front of you, checkbook, credit cards all laid out on the table ALL OF THEM. If you have a budget, get that and put it on the table.



The most important thing to decide is why you want this and if you are willing to commit to making it work. If you like the life style you enjoy now, then you will not be happy if it changes. Life is too short to be unhappy. But the very act of thinking about these things, discussing them and getting everything out on the table will probably help you live with your decisions much more easily. I



If you are living within your means now......probably no problem. But if as some of the other responders have said, you made financial decisions based on two incomes, you have some work to do. Maybe you need to do a practise run. Plan to live off one income for 3 months and bank the second income. See how it works. See what you can live without and what you can't. Plan to revisit the decision when the experiment is over. Then you can decide how to make it work, or if you have lost interest. Maybe with downgrading a few assets, you can do it. Maybe a night job is going to be the key, or babysitting. You should have a better grip on the reality of it after 3 months, and the decisions won't be soley based on emotion.



One income living involves lots and lots of sacrifice as others have said much more eloquently than I. But it is not impossible. It is just different. Dave Ramsey, a financial counselor, often says "Learn to live like no one else today, so that later...............you can live like no one else." But he also stresses learning to modify your spending and not incurring debt. Those are not the ways of this modern world, so you would definately be bucking the system.



If you are people of faith....pray about the decision. If not, share the burden and joy of this decision together. Embrace this new phase of your life and best wishes to you and your family.

Answer 6

Many can't because they bought homes based on both incomes, so now can't afford it on one. Others don't want to give up their conveniences or have racked up considerable debt. Still others only buy new, trendy clothing and never shop garage sales or discount. Others have unexpected situations. Most stay-at-home folks I know who don't have a hubby with a high income only have one car or they select a vehicle that fits within their means better (an Escort wagon, for instance, not only is gas efficient, but has a low insurance rate as well).



You may well have to do what my Mom and Dad and the neighbors did for years: Mom gets an evening/weekend job. When Dad gets home, Mom goes off to work. My Mom worked an evening factory shift, so she was home on the weekend. The neighbor worked 2 evenings a week and then the weekend waitressing. My cousin and his GF are currently doing that as well, although she chose a part-time, rather than full-time job.



No matter what, don't run a credit card balance. You simply can't afford it. While it makes sense to buy things that might be returned on credit, pay the card at the end of the month. Debt is usually the biggest problem with staying in a budget.

Answer 7

I agree with everything that everyone has already mentioned. You totally have to make the decision that staying home is what you want to do and you need to be committed to making the sacrifice for your baby or other children. It may not be easy at first to not be able to just go out and buy whatever you want whenever you want but when you consider the cost of daycare and the fact that someone else will be watching your children grow up and disciplining them, it will make the sacrifice easier for you. Some moms may not have an option but if there is any way you can work from home, do a home party type business, home medical transcription, babysit a couple kids, teach piano lessons or an art class...........do something creative that will help bring in the extra money. I promise you..........it's worth it!!!!! Get rid of any extra expense you can, pay off any bills you can....could you refinance your house?.......pay cash as much as you can............Just make the commitment and I promise you will be happy even if things are a bit tight for a while. I am able to stay home because my husband works a full time day job and teaches karate 4 nights a week plus Sat. mornings and also does personal training for clients. I work 1 graveyard shift at the hospital. If my husband didn't have his second income, it would be very difficult for me to stay home however, we've been fortunate and are able to make it work. Granted.........we don't see each other a lot during the week but with him doing what he loves and wants to do in the evenings, it allows me to do what I love and have looked forward to for my entire life. It's not easy sometimes.......especially when you go to a friends and see their beautiful home with granite countertops in their kitchen and new leather sofas etc. etc. If you were to come to my house, you would see that it isn't the ritz. We are working on it a little at a time. We don't even have furniture in our front living room. The couches that we do have are from my husbands first marriage..........hey......they are ugly and I hate them but they are free! Both cars are paid off so we have no debt. If you have debt, pick one bill at a time and get it paid off. If you can work weekends or part time evenings or part time mall hours which may be just in 4 hour increment shifts........maybe that would work for you. What it all boils down to is sacrifice and commitment. Remember that you are not alone in your sacrifice and commitment to stay home. Good luck to you!!!!!

Answer 8

From the moment we decided to have a baby, my husband and I changed our lifestyle. That is the key. We dumped all our extra money into bills, paying off our car note, etc to prepare. Also, the money I'm not spending by working (daycare, gas, work clothing, lunch) really adds up when you think about it. My daughter is 4 months old and now we "sacrifice" and I put that in quotation marks for a reason. I don't really consider it a sacrifice. We eat out less, see fewer movies, we haven't bought many things for ourselves lately but it's all worth it if it means I can stay home with my precious daughter. Good luck, I hope you can make it work!

Answer 9

I stayed home for a year and a half with my son, and I am due to have a little girl in about 3 weeks and will be staying home then as well. Take all the bills, add them up, and divide it by two. (2 of his paychecks per month) then subtract that from what he makes in one check. If there is enough left over then you can stay home. Our bills only add up to about 1300 a month though...and I have a lease so I drive as little as possible. You just have to have a tight budget...and I go without so my children and fiance can have what they want. I plan to do online courses so I can become a medical transcriptionist, who often work from home. You could also babysit one or two children to help out, or just a part-time job. Good luck!

Answer 10

My husband makes a really good salary, but I have written freelance since staying home with my children. It's very lucrative if you have writing skills; my projects have ranged from an easy standing project that's $800 a month to projects that pay up to $5000 for a couple months' work. Now, I have my own business, but if you have writing skills it's not a bad idea to look into freelance writing. It's not a scheme or anything; you work for reputable companies that don't want to pay for writers in-house.



As far as budgeting, it's helpful to cut out unnecessaries, like cable or satellite, eating out all the time, etc. It all really adds up. But in my opinion it is absolutely possible, it just requires sacrifices. It's always worth it! I have a son who died when he was 2, and I stayed home with him even though it cut back on all the luxuries we were used to. However, I'm SOO glad I did because I was able to stay home with him and spend as much time as possible with him for the short time he was alive. That was worth more to me than a nicer car, vacations, etc. If you can find a way, which you can if you really want to, I highly recommend it.

Answer 11

I stay at home with my kids and its such a joy. I dont have a cell phone, car payment, no cable, but i'd never change it for anything in the world. No one can love and take care of your baby like you can. What good is all the luxuries if you have to take time from your kids to do it. I spend 24-7 with my kids. I home school my 8 year old and my 20mth old even sits down to be like her..its so cute.



I bet if you cut out some of your bills that aren't needed you could do it. This life isn't about getting ahead and having the best of everything. Believe me before you know it your baby is gonna be full grown soon. God bless and I hope you can work it out so you can stay at home.

Answer 12

I don't have any ideas for working at home. However, with the high cost of daycare, gas prices, lunches out, work clothes, etc, we only lost about $100 a month. And it didn't take long for hubby to get that back with a raise.

Answer 13

This is going to be LONG.........But you asked, budget, how are you able to do it, and job options......That's a lot.........

It all depends on where you live. I am 22 my husband 26 we have a two year old and a one year old. We are home owners, 3Br, 2Bath, yard and all. A truck, a car and all the comfortable living materials like a nice computer, newer appliances, bought last year new furniture for the house and kids. My husband refuses to buy "off brand" food or bathroom things or anything like that. So, we spend a lot more than we really should on material things, but we can cause the cost of living is so low where we live and he makes a great salary for our age and community.

Mortgage/month- $350 ($70,000 house)

Utilities- $400, which is high....

Total Auto expenses(insurance too), $500

Phone, satelite, Internet, cell, $150

Average, $600 food, household and other.....

Gas, we drive a lot so $350/month. Work included.

We usually have $1,500 left every month, $500 into savings and usually $1,000 in checking in case of emergencies, we try not to spend it on eating out and entertainment, so it usually goes on our kids, clothes, and toys for the kids and things like that. We dont spend all of it though.

I have yet to find a stay at home job, or business that doesn't sound like a rip off...So, We got a foster care license, have had one kid in our home since we were licensed a year and a half ago. We had her for 7 months, and it was $1,300 a month. 70% goes directly to things related to the kid like clothing, school activities, $50 allowance, $50 for school lunch a week, basic needs, and housing for the child. The agency make you keep expense records of all child expenses and checks monthly on the child. That was so-so, because she was a 15 year old and teens are expensive...........The experiance was great though.....

You might want to try foster care, but there are a ton of things you have to do, background checks, home inspections, 12-24 hours of training a year including CPR. Then your family issues and adjustments, because a lot of the kids come from broken homes.

Oh, we bought or house 2 years ago on $20,000 a year and 6 months after my husband was promoted and now makes $60,000, take home is $1,000 a week. We never expected the promotion or we would have bought a bigger house........

We are living very comfortable on olny his salay. I would like to work, but he doesn't expect me to. It would cost more for me to work with daycare and things llike that.

4Br, 3bath, yard, garage...... are priced at the most $225,000, you can get a really nice piece of land for that price too. Some lake homes are priced at that, but you don't get much of a house or lake frontage....You could build a new house for that price, with property.

Oh, I live in northern Minnesota(BEAUTIFUL), So, I don't get the busy city, small house,small car, and high cost of living(which would suck). I love it here. I have been to NY, NJ,CA,and I would never live there. Love it for a short time, but hate it for a long time. I was In NJ for 3 months and I got so home sick and so did my kids.

GOOD LUCK

Spell Check didn't work.........

Answer 14

I decided to stay home so that I could get pregnant, then after a difficult pregnancy and a premature child I am still at home, it has been four years and alot of sacrifice financially and socially BUT the biggest sacrifice has been the changes in my husband, even though it was a mutual decision, after the baby and the bills it became a nightmare, now everything is blamed on me, yet where is he when the child gets sick, oh yeah I forgot work. I wonder which daycare will take a sick child.

Before you even decide to get pregnant, make sure you take time to know the guy, because believe me after baby he will be a completely new person, one that you may not like, then your life will become a nightmare like mine, especially if his family is against you staying at home.

Answer 15

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Answer 16

First, it requires cutting out a lot of things. We don't have new cars or necessarily the latest fashions. You have to really look hard at your budget. Figure out how much is actually costs you to go to work (do you buy lunch, do you have uniforms or have to buy professional clothes, how far do you drive and how much is the gas, etc.) Compare how much it costs to work versus how much you bring home in your pay. Some people find that they can save more money by NOT working, as crazy as that sounds. Finally, if you think you can make it on one salary, you have to be very devoted to your set budget. Good luck.

Answer 17

I am a stay at home mom, and I tell you it is very hard. We just make enough to pay bills and I babysit my friends little girl but it is hard. But I would do it over and over again to watch my kids grow up. A daycare got to see the first time my first daughter pulled up, crawled, and walked. I got to see my second daughter do the first steps and I will get to watch my son do the same. That is better than anything I would buy with extra money. And I know that my kids are being paid attention to and not hurt. Just as good as money to me!!! EBay is also good income, sell baby clothes or things you don't need anymore. Good luck and congrats on your baby!!!!

Answer 18

I stay at home with my 3 kids. (one more coming soon) We just cut back any unnecessary expenses. Hubby makes good money but WE (hubby and I) do go without WANTS sometimes. I would try to find something like medical transcription to do from home. Most work from home things are scams. Good luck



Also.. taking on an extra kid or two can help with the money thing. That could be an extra 600 coming in a month if you only charge 300 a month. Just a thought!

Answer 19

Hey! I'm a stay at home mom, but it took planning and some major budgeting!! When we looked at the numbers though we realized that when you figure in travel, day care etc.etc.etc. it was actually better for me to stay home, find a legitimate at home business and now I'm happier (and actually financially better off times 10). There are many things out there... but after many many hours of research I went with a company - Monarch Health who have an absolutly amazing product - Mona Vie. I am now able to devote time to our business and our kids worry free! No more "better luck next month pile for our bills" ;)

Many many blessings to you and your family!!!

Answer 20

You deffinately have to change your lifestyle-which I think is a real blessing. Cutting cable, limiting fast food, yard sales, ebay, budget spending. After you start doing these things, it really starts to make sense and show you how selfish we all are anyway.

First of all, (this only pertains to a working moms or dads as a second income) we miss out on so many milestones of our babies/kids lives when we're gone to work. Some of us only need a second job to satisfy our selfish desires like the cable, etc. Now a cell phone I feel is almost a necessity for our family at least in many ways.

You really just have to find out what's right for you and make the sacrifices that fit for you and you'll soon see that your sacrifices soon become your blessings.

Answer 21

The home base business that I have is very lost cost to start. All we do is switch stores, meaning there is no new money:) We all wash our hair, brush our teeth, and bath. So the concept of doing all these things with better quality items than the stores you already shop at just made perfect sense to me. I switched stores and tell people about the quality of the products that I use daily and I get a check!

Answer 22

Maybe you should try setting up a small business in something yuo are good at and this will allow you to work from home and chose how busy you are, you can even be self employed part-time or if this is not what you want maybe you could just return to work part time. What about family tax credit have you checked that out sometimes it actually benefits people not to work byt the time you have to pay childcare etc. Check the website



http://www.taxcredits.inlandrevenue.gov.uk/Qualify/DIQHousehold.aspx

Answer 23

I stay at home, and it takes a lot of sacrifice. In fact I almost never buy things for myself. It's very difficult, but can be done. If you go to the Good Morning America web-site they have an article on there about legitimate work at home companies, it's near the bottom of the page. Try there. Good Luck.

Answer 24

I have a 27 month old. Staying at home with your son/daughter is a full time job in itself. I'm speaking from my own experiance!! In my free time i've been selling Arbonne. It is working for me-giving me some extra income that is always needed. It's actually not that hard to do because the products actually sell themselves once a client tries them. (swiss skin care)

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Good luck and have a great day!!

Answer 25

My husband drives an older car, and we don't go out to eat very often. I clip/print coupons weekly. And we just don't spend our money on unnecessary things. We have a friend who is struggling financially, but he has 2 cars and 4 magazine subscriptions-not to mention how often he goes out to eat! Do an honest evaluation of your needs vs. your wants. You may have to make some adjustments/sacrifices, but it is well worth it! I have a friend who says home with her son, but also watches another child a few times a week to help with the bills. Also, shop craigslist! (www.craigslist.org) I have saved a ton of money buying baby/household things on there! Hope this helps!

Answer 26

I am a SAHM and wouldn't have it any other way. Like the others said, you learn to cut back. Plus over the years I have babysat, worked in the mall at Christmas time, worked occasional part-time night jobs. We've always had one real nice car and another one thats a beater.

Answer 27

I am a sahm and I also attend college. It is difficult but the hubbie pays all the bills and takes care of everything. I have college money stashed away and also get grants and loans too.



It is really hard but if you dont think you can do it maybe you could start selling pampered chef or something where you pick your hours??

Answer 28

Well usually stay at home moms depend on their husband to work and take care of the financials while the wife is on maternity leave. If thats not possible for you then i would suggest collecting unemployment until you get back to work.

Answer 29

I'm a stay at home mom and able to do so b/c I do Purse Party! I love it. The income is great and it gets me around other women!

Answer 30

I got pregnant young so didnt have a career before having kids, so we went from no income to 1! Which made it seem like we were better off.

I am doing my degree from home now so I can start my career when the kids go to school

Answer 31

You could babysit another child.

You could waitress a couple nights a week if there is a place around where you think you could make really good tips. A friend of mine does that at a bar and makes awesome tips for working 2 nights,

Answer 32

I want to know too!

I work 30 hrs but I'd LOOOOVE to be home or at least work less and closer to home.

The only way I could stay home would be if we sold the house and grew my own food!

Answer 33

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Good Luck.

Answer 34

You have to be able to afford to live on your husband’s salary alone.



Cut coupons, buy store brands, eat at home, and pack your husband a lunch for the office. You are going to have to talk to him about it, since being a single income is a lot of stress on your husband.

Answer 35

Do NOT think you can take in a foster child or two for extra income. If you care for the child as you should you will never come out ahead.

Answer 36

It wasn't easy. We rarely went out to eat. We didn't have a cell phone, and I never bought new clothes or shoes for myself unless I absolutely had to have them. We did have cable TV, but just the basics, no premium channels.

Answer 37

You could keep a couple of other children and help their parents out financially.