8 yr old Son has graffited - what punishment?

Question

My 8 yr old Son gets very interested in certain things. Previously it has been football trainers, drawing houses, hair styles... at the moment he has become very interested in graffiti which we have tried hard to stop. To cut a long story short, my Husband came home from work one day to find our neighbour scrubbing his fence as my Son had found a spray can in our garage and written his name on the fence. We were furious and he lost pocket money and had a good talking too. But today I had a phone call from my Aunty who we recently stayed with for a week and she had found two words written on the side of her house...one being a swear word. the problem is, he has it in his head this is cool to do and our previous talking to did no good......I don't know what to do for it to hit home. What would be a suitable punishment for his age and the "crime" he has committed?

Any help appreciated, Thanks.

Answer 1

Standard automatic punishment for making messes, breaking things, or damaging things: They clean it up whenever possible, on their own (or paint over it, or put it back together, or whatever). If not possible to be redeemed by their labor, they pay to fix it. If they can't pay because they have no allowance or other income, they must "pay" back with chores. Meanwhile, all privileges (such as EVERY electronic device in the house other than an alarm clock) gets taken away until the debt has been repaid.



That's pretty much the standard punishment most teaching-minded people would dish out since the point is that if an adult damaged someone else's property, you would be responsible for fixing it one way or another. And if you couldn't afford to pay that much money, then tough, you just couldn't pay your internet or cable TV bills for that month and would do without.



Some people may also suggest writing some graffiti on a prized possession of his, and then having a talk about the feelings this gives him. Be careful, though. For some kids, this sends a clear message of "It hurts me and others to damage property" whereas for others, it will backfire on you. Approach that method with skepticism and caution.

Answer 2

1

Answer 3

I know you've tried talking to him by try again.



Let him know that graffiti really IS a crime and that he can get into trouble with the law for it later on in life. Let him know that not only will he be severely punished but it damages the property of others and causes issues with respect and money.



Try taking away something important to him and not letting him have it back until he cleans up his mess. Or, make him clean it up and don't give back what you took at all. Not only that, but make him pay for the cleaning supplies out of pocket. Even though he is only 8 and doesn't have a job, take it from is allowance or make home work for the money to get the supplies and them force him to clean up the wall.



And corporal punishment always works wonders, too.

Answer 4

two things he needs to be disciplined for where he put the graffiti and then encouraged as an artist to use a proper canvas. There are a lot of places that wouldn't mind a good art piece but until hes good enough he needs to practice give him an area in your back yard where he can do it have him and your husband build really big "wall" some thing like two or three sheets of plywood and then make it clear to him what the guidelines are something like NO profanity maybe that could be the only rule.



He also needs to clean up and repaint everyplace he has "tagged" and sign up to volunteer to clean up graffiti around town with your husband.

Answer 5

My oldest son (7) wrote graffiti on his bedroom wall once (about 3 months ago, actually), and this was the punishment he received:



1) On the day he did his "graffiti" he got a 2 hour lecture on everything there is to know about graffiti, vandalism, jail times for vandalism, the effect of how jail time would look on a background check if you applied to a job, just EVERYTHING there is to know about how graffiti can potentially ruin your life.



2) He had to write a 4 page essay on what my husband and I discussed in our lecture, to prove that he truly listened and learned his lesson.



3) Grounded from all toys, games, TVs, electronics, EVERYTHING! In short, the only thing he was allowed to do was wake up, take a shower, go to the restroom, go to school, come home from school, do his homework, sit in his room and do NOTHING except write his essay (he had 3 weeks to complete it), eat dinner, and go to bed (not necessarily in that order) for 3 weeks straight.



4) A toothbrush, a bucket filled with water and soap, and a rag. He had to scrub every last trace of marker from his wall, and once I approved that it was clean, his dad handed him a paint brush and can of paint and made him repaint where he graffitied anyways.



5) The threat that if he EVER made so much as a pen mark on his wall, the same punishment would happen X2 (6 weeks grounding, 8 page essay)





He hasn't gotten in trouble since.



A/N: He IS allowed to paint and draw on paper, canvas, and other APPROPRIATE places. If he ever wanted to make a "graffiti mural" and had the permission of the owner of whatever establishment, then I would be 100% supportive of him. I ENCOURAGE art and creativity. Its a wonderful way to express yourself. However, graffiti in the form of vandalism is WRONG.

Answer 6

Your son committed a crime and desecrated others property, their homes, and all you did was take away a few dollars in pocket money and give him a talking too, of course hes going to do it again. Thats like giving someone a slap on the wrist for holding up a bank. Hes old enough to know better, this isnt a 2 year old coloring on the walls. This time, actually discipline your son. First, ground him for two weeks, no toys, no tv, no games, no friends, one week for the graffiti and another for the swear, he can spend his time doing community service and doing house chores for his aunt and neighbor, to make up for what he did, so he can make his community better looking rather then ruining others property. Next, have him scrub the paint off of his aunts house and offer to have him repaint the neighbors fence. Also have him write a letter of apology to each of them and read it to them face to face. Tell him that because he proved to you that he can not be responsible with them, tell him that he is no longer allowed to have access to paints, markers, or any writing equipment except for while writing homework until you know you can trust him with them. Now the remaining problem is showing him what he should do instead. Explain to him that graffiti is art, they are murals, and they can be really cool, as long as they are done with the owner of the properties permission, painting on someone elses property is wrong and its not cool at all, people wont think kindly of him for it, it will just give him a negative reputation. Tell him that once his punishment is over and he has proven that he can behave himself with paints, you will show him how to constructively use graffiti. Get him large sheets of craft paper, the kind that comes in rolls and tape them up on the garage wall, then tell him that is where he can graffiti, but graffiti means making art, no curses, no just writing his name. Have him do a mural and sign his name, then tell him that if he does a really good one, you will ask around town and see if anyone would be willing to have it painted on side of their wall. Ask places like parks, businesses, public places, stores, that kind of thing. My sons and husband helped with one that was done on the back of a grocery store. For example, we live in Harlem, heres one that painted nearby our apartment:

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2568/4145533768_daf8a1d949.jpg

tell him that he will only be allowed to do this if he agrees to never graffiti with the owners permission again, and if he does, no more painting.

Answer 7

You should lock up the spray paint for his own safety and to keep him from being a vandal. Minors can't even buy spray paint, you know. At Home Depot they keep it locked up for a reason.



Make him pay to have the graffiti covered up. Give him extra chores to do and take away his allowance. Make him apologize to her.

Answer 8

make your son clean off the fence if the neighbors didnt do anything wrong. i would also maybe no tv, no internet unless for school, no cell phone for a few weeks. dont get me wrong im all for kids expesstong him or herself. im ok with kids dying hair and what not but violation of propety is illegall and isnt fair to the neighbor. but just remember its not always the parents fault so dont feel that way. because he has a thought prosses too and he knows what hes doing.

Answer 9

Why are you allowing your 8-year old son to walk in your home naked? You should have made him put some clothes on before you let him watch TV.

Answer 10

The next time he commits vandalism in a public place, make him clean it in front of his friends. The fact that he got caught and other know it will make him feel stupid. Also, explain to him that it's not cool, and he can get arrested if he continues.



@Liberal



Your name fits perfectly.

I love your trolling skills.

Answer 11

find something that he really likes and that would make him upset if it got ruined. and figure out a way to show him that's it's not ok to distroy property. Like if he likes his bike... take it all apart and have it sitting there waiting for him when he comes home from school. see how he react or a favorite movie, toy and find a way to pretend distroy it if possible. and see what he says.

Answer 12

Pocket money at 8? I was barely allowed to even touch money at that time.



Shave his head.

Answer 13

Make him do some wall sits for punishment

Answer 14

Make him clean it off and see how cool he thinks it is.

Answer 15

spank him trust me that's what my parents would have done



them make him write a apology letter to the neighbors then spank him again to make sure he dont do it again

Answer 16

let him graffiti it is art

Answer 17

Nothing.



He has every right to express himself any way he wants.



It would be child abuse to punish him.