how to get a kid to stop acting out in public?

Question

my 3 year old always acts out in library,mall,stores and resturants how do i get him to stop

Answer 1

well good behavior starts in the home, how does he act at home? If he doesn't behave at home how do you expect him to behave in public? If he behaves at home then what is it you are doing at home that you might do differently in public?



First, like others said, make sure he isn't hungry, tired or not feeling well before you go somewhere. Second, include him, going to these places can be boring so try and make it more fun. In the store give him something to do like use the calculator or check off the list of items to get or help put things in the cart etc...talk to him about things at the store and keep him busy. A bored child will start to act up more than a busy one.



Third, tell him ahead what you are doing there and what behavior you expect from him. Be positive though not negative. Instead of saying "you better behave in the store or I'll spank you" try saying "In the store I need you to stay close to me and use your quiet voice and be a good helper, I know you can do it!" in the store praise his good behavior right away, "wow I really like how you are walking with me and being such a helper!" praise can do wonders trust me, it makes a child want to make good choices to gain more praise.



If you are going to a restaurant bring something little for him to do like a couple of little matchbox cars, make use of the crayons and coloring paper most restaurants provide or bring your own and draw WITH him, don't ignore him and expect him to just sit there and behave on his own.



Last, make sure your expectations of him are age appropriate, he is only 3 after all. use positive reinforcement but when needed use a firm voice and be strict. Remember it starts in the home though.

Answer 2

Try to wait to go out either early in the day within a few hours of him waking up, or after a nap so that he's nice and rested. Also make sure he's had a meal, and you have snacks with you so that he doesn't start fussing from being hungry.



Next, before you get out of the car and go into the store, calmly tell him your expectations for his behavior, and the consequence for acting out. ie, "Sweetheart, we're going to go inside the library now, and when you're in a library the rule is to be very quiet. If you're a good boy and follow the library rules, then when we get home we'll do fingerpaints. But if you break the rules, then it's a time-out and no fingerpaints. Are you going to be a good boy for mommy?" Then wait until he says yes, and go inside.



Since you've offered a reward for good behavior that is something he really likes, then if he starts acting up, you have something to remind him of when you give him a warning. He can't get unlimited warnings, though, only ONE strong warning where you get down to his level and tell him he is to STOP the behavior or it's a time-out and no reward. Then always follow through.



Although I'm not a fan of offering food or buying a toy as a reward since that's kind of bribing him, sometimes it makes sense. For example, if you're at Target and you actually DO plan on buying him a toy or book or movie, then you can go find the item he wants first thing and maybe get him to carry his special treat. But if he acts up, then the special treat goes back where you found it and he doesn't get to take it home.



And then of course, at times he's just going to have a meltdown beyond all reason and you may just have to abandon your shopping/meal/other activity and take him home. I don't think there's a mother alive who hasn't left a full shopping cart at the grocery store due to toddler tantrum!

Answer 3

Several other people had some good suggestions, but I'm going to add a few more things that worked for us.



1 -- Make sure he's fed and rested and has gone to the bathroom before you go out in public. A hungry, thirsty, tired, or needing-to-pee kid gets restless and cranky quickly.



2 -- Talk about expectations before you go in. I used to do the following as I was parking the car outside a store or other public place. I'd ask, "Do we run in the store?" and they'd holler back, "NOOOOO!" "Do we take things off the shelves?" "NOOOOO!" "Do we scream and yell and throw fits?" "NOOOOO!" "Do we lick the freezer doors (or whatever ridiculous thing they'd done the last time we were in public)?" "NOOOO!" "Do we stay close to Mommy?" "YEEEESSSSS!" "Do we hold hands in the parking lot?" "YEESSSSS!" etc. They thought it was fun, and it reminded them of the rules.



3 -- Include them in the trip as much as possible. Yes, it may take you a bit longer, but it will be more enjoyable for you both. At the grocery store, I'd have my kids help me find certain items. Sometimes, they'd get their own list with pictures pasted on it (or simple words once they were reading) for items like apples, milk, etc. Sometimes, I'd let them help with the decisions -- red or green grapes, Rice Krispies or Cheerios, etc. If there were samples, we'd taste them. Your son can count items as you bag them -- 1, 2, 3 pears. You can point out the aisle numbers as you go down them -- "Here, aisle 4 -- this is where the peanut butter is." At the library, I'd let them pick a couple books first, and if I had to get anything for myself, I'd do it as quickly as possible. In restaurants, I'd bring a small book, toy, crayons, or something they could stay busy with at the table.



4 -- Keep the trip as short as possible.



5 -- Make sure he knows the plan for the day. I used to do this Dora-style (if he watches that show at all). "Today, we're going to have breakfast, then go to the grocery store, and then play at the park. Breakfast, grocery store, park. Breakfast, grocery store, park. Got it?" I know it sounds silly, but my kids always did much better when they knew exactly what to expect.



Most of all, hang in there, and stay patient. Age 3 is a tough year, and it does get better.

Answer 4

Hitting and yelling in simple terms exacerbate the region with a new child. They get the attention they are desiring, regardless of if that's detrimental. And why could that's counted to human beings? on account which you're in a public place and sharing that public place with human beings. Your 'stunning' to that place is not any better or lesser than every physique else's, and in case you (or your new child) are diminishing the have relaxing with human beings, then you are inflicting a difficulty. What works for us? properly, many father and mom would regard it as an inconvenience, yet we supply our lady one warning (she's 3 and would understand that). We tell her if she maintains to misbehave, we will give up what we are doing and leave. it is not important what we are doing: dinner, playground or the food market. the important ingredient? We stick to up if we could continually. If she pushes it, we leave. we're not making idle threats. We tell her what's going to happen, and then act on it. This teaches manners and that movements have effects. In 2 years of doing this, we've had to leave someplace on 3 distinctive activities. That hasn't befell for months. confident, that's inconvenient for us--yet we are those that have the burden of coaching our new child to act in public and making valuable we don't ruin anyone else's good time.

Answer 5

Like "Who am I" already said: Make sure you don't expect too much from your 3 year old. A hungry or tired preschooler will not behave well and expecting a preschooler to be happy and content for a 4 hour shopping trip is unrealistic as well.

When my kids were that young, I often pushed their limits. As soon as they started acting out, I knew that we needed to go home immediately. As they grew older, the need to leave became less frequent. When you see well behaved young children, you can bet that those kids had their naps and were fed before they left the house.

Answer 6

Always make sure he is well rested, well fed, and that you don't take too long. It's really too much to expect a toddler to be still and quiet for long 4 hour shopping and errands. I only could do 2 hours absolute max at a time. But mostly a child who is not tired or hungry will behave far better than a cranky one so plan your day for early morning or right after nap and things will probably go smoother.

Answer 7

The 1st thing you do is realize that acting up is totally normal for a 3 year old. He doesn't have impulse control and is still learning how to control his emotions. You need to be patient, consistent and set a good example.



Before you go somewhere, explain to him where you are going and how you expect him to behave. Praise him when he behaves well. When he acts up, remove him from the situation and remind him to use his words to tell you what he needs, instead of screaming or crying.

Answer 8

I think all children do it if im honest there isnt much of a way of stopping it.You could try rewarding him like when in a libary buy him a nice book for behaving well or if in a mall buy him a small toy and ect.Or you could do what most parnets do and ignore them he should soon stop when he relises he's getting no where.

Answer 9

Before we go into anyplace i tell my son that he is to be on his best behavior and if he is not then he will be punished. It works most times but on those times that it don't, he gets put in timeout or if its really bad, a trip to the bathroom. Of course, I do make sure that its not naptime and he's not hungry. I've noticed that those cause him to act out more.

Answer 10

Ok this is some long procedure but it helped me out. Whenever you are in home call your making out in Public kid to the room and let him watch Some horror movies, i prefer saw Series, after some times when he start going to school go with him and find out who is the bully there, pretend like your kid just said something bad against bullies and be Like OH kid this is so wrong. the bullies pay attention smack him in the head, then he will come crying home everyday, just be strong call the police that your son is a drug addicted they will take him to rehab after 3 years you will see the magic and he will be a gentle person and always be quite.

Answer 11

Tell him that if he acts out again in public, he will not be taken into public for three months. Make sure you follow through with this consequence. Make sure you give reminders..."I'm going to the grocery store, you can't go because you throw fits in public." After a few months, give him another chance. Also, make sure he is not acting out at home.

Answer 12

That's what there like at that age. You have to talk to him basically,If he doesn't listen punish him. Be a a parent basically!

Answer 13

Oh, i dunno....maybe give PARENTING a try.

Answer 14

smack his A$$.



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