i have a son who is 22 , no car , i take him everywhere , i have to ask for gas money.?

Question

i take him to work every night at 11 pm i get up for work at 530 am.. he never says thank you when i drop him at his jos at 11 pm . just bye and gets out, he says he is saving for a car but i heard he was going to purchase a new laptop for 1500.. i had a total fit , i said it was a bad choice to soend car money on a computer , now i have the decesion to make of not taking him to work anymore if he does get this laptop.. tough love ? i know i know 22 no car , he is my first born so i feel like i have to help him out , but i do dislike people who enable there kids to be lazy and not help them to make good choices.. so i am stuck in a parent rut , HELPPPPPPPP.....

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with having a conversation with him of expectations. Tell him that even though you are his parent you don't have to take him to work every night and that some appreciation and assistance would be nice. Also state that you are doing this until he can afford to get his own car so any large or extravagant purchases will be seen as not working towards that goal.

Answer 2

Helping your son is one thing but, if he's not helping himself as well, it just becomes a never ending cycle.

I have an 18 year old. I want her to save her money and I want her to understand that the real world DOES NOT cut you a break. She pays a small rental fee($100) to live with me. She doesn't have to pay for utilities, however she does have to help keep the house clean.

We said we would help her get a car and would match her up to $1000.

She works at the supermarket deli for $8 an hour. Within 2 months she saved enough to buy a car and pay insurance on it.

At 22 your son should understand that sometimes what you WANT is not always the thing you NEED.

Stop driving him unless he pays for the gas. Stop letting him live at home for free. He'll figure out that his job is necessary for him to live at home and his freedom depends on getting his own car.

Part of our job is to prepare our children to survive in the world without us. We can help as long as it is help and not just sheltering them from reality.

Good luck,I know it's a hard job when you love them so much.

Answer 3

I would definitely not drive him anywhere anymore. Unless he offers to pay for gas. He needs to learn that he has responsibilities, and since you're letting him live with you that's taking care of him enough. He needs to learn that he has to think about other people and not just himself.

Answer 4

Hello........



what do you mean you hate those people that enable there kids to be lazy........



hey pot this is the kettle......



give him a dead line to be on his feet. then ensure that he understands that he is out and on his own by then. then stick to it. by supporting him you are not helping him.

Answer 5

tell him to move out or set him a budget

Answer 6

ya, there's always the bus