shopping with my son is dreadful?

Question

My son is 6 months old and awakes very easily. I can hardly go shopping anymore unless i am real quick in the stores cuz if he is sleeping when i get there...once i move him out of the car or shortkly thereafter he wakes up and is awake the whole time i am shopping...and starts getting fussy shorly after. If i take him after his nap, he will still hardly let me shop, he will start being fussy...Does anyone else have this problem? i have done everything to make the shopping experince pleasurable and nothing seems to work. when my 8 yr. old daughter was a baby, she will let me shop to no end.

Answer 1

Bless your heart! I know what it is to have a demanding baby! My daughter was the same way.... she was high strung and very needy...unlike my son who was easy going and content. But hiring a babysitter can be expensive..... and you don't want to take advantage of relatives everytime you need to pick up groceries or run errands. You need to find a way to deal with you son on a daily basis, without relying on anyone else. Here's my advice: Try taking him after a nap.... when he's refreshed and alert. He'll be in a better mood and will hopefully be open to the experience. If he's sleepy, he's going to fight sleep and be irritable which will be a bad combination for the positive outcome you want! Get one of those baby slings that holds him close to you while you fill your basket. Give him something to hold.... a soft toy or cookie to eat. (wear clothes you don't care about!) Talk to him the entire time.... tell him about getting cans of green beans, picking out the cold milk (let him touch it), getting the fruit (let him smell an orange). Let him experience everything you are doing. This is a great bonding time for you both. It will be something you both will look forward to oneday.... really. Now.... here's the hard part. If your son starts to pitch a fit....... LET HIM. It's his way of trying to manipulate you. All babies do this. They will see how far they can go. When he's pitching his fit.... ignore him and continue to shop. He'll be strapped onto you, so he won't be able to go anywhere. He may be loud and kicking.... but you need to let him pitch his fit. Try not to react to him.... don't baby him or scold him. You have to realize that this is his only way to communicate at this age. It's normal. And it's okay if people stare..... Who cares? You'll probably never see those people again anyway.... and most of us moms KNOW what you're going through. (Note: The kids that continue to pitch tantrums and dis-respect their parents and other adults are the kids whose parents gave in to them when they pitched them as smaller babies and children. The kids continue to pitch fits because it WORKS for them. You don't want to be one of those parents. You need to have the control and be the PARENT that you are.) It's more important that you are working through this with your son. Don't let public opinion sway you to give in. YOU are the MOM! You are the powerful, confident parent. Your son may pitch one or two fits..... or ten or twelve. But you must never give into him. Remain calm, continue shopping.... if he quiets down....engage him in the shopping experience again and talk soothingly to him. Eventually he will learn that pitching a fit isn't going to get him his way... or any attention and that he will be happier to "go with mom's flow". You basically just need to break his strong will to control. The stronger the will.... the longer it will take to break it. But don't worry.... it's not going to change WHO he is... or how wonderful he is already. It will only change how he REACTS to things outside his comfort level. If YOU make it fun and don't give into him...he'll learn to have fun and enjoy that special time with his mommy. As he gets older, you won't need the sling anymore. He can push a kiddie grocery cart ( http://www.epinions.com/kifm-Girls_Playsets-Appliances-Shopping_Cart/display_~reviews ) and "help" you with your shopping. (Shopping can be pleasurable for males, too!) But be realistic and prepared: It's going to be harder on you than it will be on your son. You will have to stay calm and in control, regardless of his tantrums. But you can do it...... because you are empowering yourself and because you love him that much. Turn this negative situation into a positive, bonding experience for you both. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

For the critical people: I think this Mom is talking about shopping for groceries... not clothing.



That having been said, I will say that my daughter hasn't been quite as fussy, but she's certainly had her days. I can imagine that thinking about getting a sitter every single time you need to go grocery shopping is probably overwhelming to you... I know it was/is to me.



A few things I've figured out: I either head out to the store immediately before her nap time so that she'll fall asleep, and pretty much stay asleep, while I'm in the store. OR I go shopping almost immediately after she wakes up from a nap. That way she's well rested and in a relatively good mood. Then, while I have her in the store, I make sure I have a drink, a few healthy snacks (for a six monther, maybe mooshy chunks of veggies or fruit) and a toy or two. If she started to fuss, I'd just talk happily with/to her and give her the drink first. Then continue down the line of 'distractions', if necessary.



Sometimes it's just that her diaper is filled and I need to change it.



In grocery stores I've learned to just speak to her in a soothing way and continue with my shopping until I'm done, without getting stressed. A majority of the time, she calms down and lets me finish my shopping in peace.



With restaurants and other public gatherings that include the whole family, well, it's hit or miss. So far, she's only had a few 'explosions'... and they were always toward the end of our get together anyway, so we'd just leave. I'm sorry I can't offer more advice in that area... but I hope the other stuff helps.



Good luck.

Answer 3

Ok first off he is only 6 months old. You have to remember that babies get fussy. Take his favorite toys or get him one of those buggy blankets with activities on it. They are really cool they fit right in the backet at the grocery store and they have little things on them for the baby to look at and play with. Is he normally fussy at home??? Its weird that he would be fussy out in the world but not at home. If all else fails and you just have to go shopping during the week find a good daycare and just put him in there while you shop or for like half a day maybe once or twice a week that way you can have a little bit of time away and he gets time away too. Babies need to be away from thier mommies sometimes and be with other babies. Also if you can wait go shopping when daddy is at home and he can take care of the little tyke while you get some time away and you can get your shopping done. Good luck to you.

Answer 4

It's hard when you have a fussy baby to deal with while shopping. The only way I found to deal with it with my daughter when she was a baby was to find someone to watch her when I had to go shopping. I would still bring her with me when I had short shopping trips, and eventually started making those trips a bit longer each time until she started to get used to it.

As far as going out to dinner I would find a sitter for when you and your husband wanted a dinner together somewhere nice, and when you want a family night out, keep it to places such as Chuck E Cheese. If he gets fussy, and makes his grunting noises to soothe himself it is not a big deal. You are in a restaurant that has kids running around yelling already.

Some babies are just fussier than others, so you really can't compare your son and daughter. But don't worry, he will grow out of it. My daughter was terrible when she was a baby, but once she got a little older she was wonderful and I had no problem bringing her anywhere. Just remind yourself... this won't last forever.

Answer 5

well, i don't have to deal with it yet, b/c i'm due in spetember, but i do know all about raising my neices!!!



so, the first thing i learned when my sister had her first girl, was that major shopping trips were suddenly a thing of the past! we could get in MAYBE 1-2 hours and then Bug would have a meltdown and we'd have to leave.

so, fortunately, i have prepared myself for this.

so, you are not alone, i'm sure shopping trips have become history for many moms, or else, they just deal with their fussy kid and still shop....but i can't see that being much fun:(



one thing i have learned from some parenting magazines is that it's not very nice to expect your little one to nap on the move. now, if he happens to fall asleep on the car ride, then so be it, however, if you are trying to shop during his regular nap, well, according to the articles i've read, that is "not nice mommy" (as my youngest neice likes to say:). that could be the reason he isn't into shopping, b/c his nap was disturbed. i'd be cranky too if someone woke me up before i was ready.



so, i would suggest making due with short trips for now until he gets older and then, hopefully, he'll get used to the excursions and become adapted to the situation.



you could also, do what my sister-in-law does....she waits until my brother gets home, then she dashes out the door to go shopping, get her hair done, etc.

i mean, she's stuck at home all day with the baby, when my brother gets home...well, then it's HIS turn!!!



so, hang in there and i'm sure it's not anything you are doing, he just isn't a shopper like your daughter.

unfortunately, drugging your kids to get stuff done is kind of frowned upon by society as a whole.... hee hee.



take care.



oh, and the chuckie cheese grunting thing....i kind of find that funny and if a baby was in a restaurant doing that, well, i would probably smile and maybe even chuckle a little bit, b/c it's a cute little baby! i just find it humorous when little babies do funny stuff like that.



o.k. well, as for food shopping...i know at my house we usually make a list for the week and shop together on the weekend. this could work for you, too, since there's you and your husband. one could stay home with the kids, OR go as a family and then if the kids get cranky, one can continue shopping and the other can take the kids outside, or back home....if it's really bad.



also, i mentioned helpful parenting magazines before.....i read a neat article about on-line grocery shopping. sounded pretty interesting. i haven't actually done it myself, but apparently, there are TONS of online sites that deliver right to your house! they rated them, too and they all got pretty good ratings. even produce was fresh and frozen was still frozen!



take care.

Answer 6

You should be thankfull, this only shows your son to be alert to any changes in his immedite surroundings, like when you move him, he's awake immediatly, I will think that the trouble whilst shopping usually starts the moment he recieve's less attention from you becuase immediatlly he feels alone, aquitly aware of the change in his surrounding. This can only let me believe that it will be a great skill for when he gets to be older, it will help him to concentrait better and he'll be a "sharper" lad, if channeled in the right way. I am a teacher in South Africa, just to let you know that i didn't suck it all out off my thump. I'm a Afrikaans speaking male so please excues the spelling, am in quite a hurry.



Pleasant day to you and your family, and when in a urge to go shopping again, how about a nanny to look after him and then you can shop in peace .



From a warm South Africa.

Cheers Schuan Heyliger

Answer 7

it's just a phase. my son was like that when he was an infant too, but i still took him anyway, so he would get used to it. a lot of babies don't like the bright store lights, loud noises, and strange people everywhere. if you really think about it, shopping would be very stressful if you were 6 months old too! lol.

i think it would better to make sure he is awake before you take him in, and be sure he is in his carseat(not the special carts that have a baby seat attached, very uncomfortable) facing you, with his favorite toys and blankie with him. keep eye contact with him and talk to him. tell him what you are doing the whole time. don't rush it, take your time. babies and children can tell when you are stressed and will react to it. in time, he will get used to it, and actually look forward to outings.

you might have to hold off on going out to eat for awhile though, that was always pretty hard with my son. it wasn't until he could sit up and join in on the meal too, did he actually enjoy it and settle down.

don't worry though, it will get better. :-)

Answer 8

No, my daughter was great at that age as far as shopping went. She would either sleep while I was shopping (I'd take her in in the infant carrier) or just sit there and look around, quiet the whole time.



Some kids just don't do well shopping. My sister used to be a terror. I don't think there's really anything you can do except leave him home with someone.

Answer 9

your son may be a little spoiled if the slightest thing awakes him and he's defintely used to one specific confort zone and that is you next to him. Try having others baby sit for you not to abandon your baby but to get it used to various environments because they will become acustomed to always having you right there. By starting this off early the obsessive complusive disorder that kids sometimes get to their parents will never stop. Who knows maybe you can even put your kid on a better sleeping cycle since as of right now your are expecting him to sleep during the day.

Answer 10

I recall the marriage ceremony of the Princess Elizabeth and the delivery of Charles! The Royal loved ones additionally had rationing in the course of the War years and for a few even as after, and men and women from in all places the Country despatched garments and meals coupons in order that she would have a "right do". We noticed Elizabeth and Philip's marriage ceremony on the cinema (no tv) and watched the marriage ceremony of Charles and Diana on tv. The first televised Royal celebration I noticed was once the Coronation of Queen Elizabeth.

Answer 11

Babies start developing a unique personality earlier than you might think. Maybe it's because it's a strange environment and he doesn't know what to make of it. Give some thought to hiring a baby-sitter when you have to go shopping.

Answer 12

I find that if i want to do something its the same thing. The good part is that he is going to grow out of it. But in the mean time try putting him in a back pack contraption so hes closer to you. I found that if I fed him rice cereal or something that was heavy in his stomach he was less apt to be fussy. good luck.

Answer 13

My middle child didnt like shopping and as he has gotten older I have noticed he doesnt like people at all. Maybe it is too much excitement for him... Try shopping with another adult and see if you can figure out what it is "aggrivating" him with shopping.. if its the lights keep the shade pulled on the infant carrier... things like that... all i can say is trial and error.. good luck

Answer 14

Use a sling! My son is 10 months and we still use it when we go to the supermarket for a few things or the library or bookstore. He is so good when he is in it...very quiet too for those trips to the library.

Answer 15

You need a baby sling. Then you can wear him while you shop or eat or do errands or whatever and he will be very happy. He'll be close to you and secure and able to look around and see everything.

Answer 16

The boy doesn't like to shop and your girl does. Go figure.



My friend gave her son a lolipop in the store. I know sugar is bad but it worked.

Answer 17

your "fussy" problem is a source of endless annoyance to other shoppers. even if you have no control over your offspring, you are responsible for their behaviour in public. so when someone reports your child's disturbance to store or mall management, it is you who are accountable for the disturbance.



call me a crank, but i put up with this for so many years, i am simply FED UP. it's not cute.

Answer 18

So, don't take him shopping. Go shopping when you have someone to leave your baby with - i.e. babysitter, relative, etc. Seems silly to keep taking him shopping when obviously it is making both of you cranky.

Answer 19

my mom takes the whole car seat into the store and rests it in the cart, this allows for little movement and hopefully he will stay asleep. Also have toys handy..good luck

Answer 20

If shopping that important to you, then find a sitter dear. I hope nothing ever happen to the little one while you are so busy shopping...

Answer 21

Can't you tell the person above don't have kids!!

My girl was exactly the same don't worry about it he'll grow out of it! mines 18mths now and loves helping put things in the cart !

Answer 22

either leave him with a relative or learn to switch off, guys in general are bad at shopping, so best just to ignore him, he'll still be whinging at 18!!

Answer 23

i had to deal with it and now my daughter is 16 months and will hardly go to sleep she fight sleep HARD!!! basically we just have to deal and if other people have a problem with it they either dont have children and understand what we are going through or they are just a**holes and dont care about anything but themselves

Answer 24

LOL you know babies now days are very advanced, so here's an idea why don't you get a carrier that allows him to rest on your shest or back. Allow him to cry and he'll get used to it!

Answer 25

what my mother always did was after getting us out of the car to push us around awhile until we starteed to fall asleep then head bak tot he shore so she could shop. but once i was old enough she just made me push my siblings around.

Answer 26

He is honing his skills as a male to hate shopping. If you really think about it your husband probably acts the same way.

I know I do. :p

Answer 27

Shopping with my wife is dreadful! So I stay at home with the kids!!

Answer 28

its a baby!! all they do is cry. be happy now, because when they turn 2 theyll run away from you and come back with 30 toys they want you to buy for them. haha.

Answer 29

He's only 6 months old!!!!!!! If shopping is so damned inportant to you... how about hiring a BABYSITTER so you can go to Macy's!!

Answer 30

everyone knows men dont like to shop!

Answer 31

first of all i can't believe you called your son a punk. he is ababy babies cry and make noise. it is a part of life

Answer 32

Leave him with his father?



Take him at nap time?

Answer 33

u should ask someone to babysit. or u can try keeping him distracted with a toy.

Answer 34

GUYS HATE SHOPPING!!!!