Spanking fetishes: How do you think some adults develop them?

Question

What is the most logical explanation or just your explanation for a grown man or woman developing spanking or dominant/submissive fantasy's & fetishes?

Answer 1

There are some physiological factors. Light swatting causes blood flow to increase in the area , which can create a pleasurable sensation. That does vary between people though. Some people women even orgasm this way. It's rare but it does happen.



Of course, such sexual reactions are possible in children too. Something to think about the next time one thinks of spanking a child. Dr. Teresa Whitehurst at Harvard has done some extensive research on this matter.



People who are into getting hit very hard, can be associated with sexual masochism. The full explanation for this is not well understood by science even today.

Answer 2

I've done a lot of research on spanking myself, and I've read and analyzed other research on the subject. An adult spanking fetish is by far the most common among people who were never spanked in early childhood or their teen years; it is second most common in people who were spanked in both early childhood and as teens, about tied with those who were only spanked as teens and not younger; and last by a great margin among those who were spanked as young children but not as teens.



Neither dominant nor submissive tendencies (other than spanking alone) seem to bear any relation to spanking in childhood.

Answer 3

I don't think there is any logical explanation. Some people have a spanking fetish, some people have a boot fetish, some people like enemas, whatever. For all I know, many people with a spanking fetish were never spanked as a child, and some were. But many people who were severely spanked or even abused as children abhor any sort of violence, for obvious reasons, and thus are no candidates for a spanking fetish. So, there is no relation, and it remains a mystery how such fetishes develop.

Answer 4

Actually, I am told that some people with spanking fetishes were never spanked as children, but most were.



I am also told that people with spanking fetishes actually almost never spank their children. Perhaps because they associate spanking more with sex, and don't want to think of themselves as having sex with their children.

Answer 5

I don't think there are black & white answers. I developed my fetish quite late (I'm in my 40s), even though I'm sure it stemmed from an episode at school when I was beaten with a cane. The few men I know who are open about their fetish had similar experiences.

Answer 6

Tension arising from repression must be discharged. The "bad" child discharges it by acting out. The "good," spanking fetishist child discharges it by masturbation. The budding spanking fetishist will not experience as much parental disapproval as his or her more rebellious siblings, but will typically experience a great deal of guilt and shame. Negative messages about masturbation and sex in general may well contribute to this guilt, but I suggest that the feeling of shame comes from a deeper source and may typically originate well before the child is able to become aware of and internalize negative messages about sexuality and the genitals. Guilt, in my view, is not an emotion in and of itself, but rather a disguised form of fear. The fear, in this case, is the fear of loss of parental love. This could explain why so many fetishists delurking (introducing themselves, usually autobiographically) on a.s.s/s.s.s newsgroups report feeling while growing up that they were "bad" or "wrong" for having their particular fascination with spanking, even though they were never actually told that such an obsession was a "bad" thing. This latter fact is clear from the large number of delurk posts on a.s.s. in which the writer reports having thought as a child that they were "the only person in the world" with such fantasies. Clearly, if they thought they were unique, no one must have told them that "people who have sexy spanking fantasies are bad" because such an admonition would reveal that other such "bad" people do exist in the world. In some particularly sad cases, discovery of the a.s.s./s.s.s. newsgroup in adulthood was the first evidence they had ever encountered of the existence of others like themselves. This means that throughout their childhoods and into adulthood, many of these individuals must have carried around a sense of isolation, guilt and shame which could not possibly have benefitted them on their developmental journeys. I propose that this sense of shame arises because repressed hatred of the spanking parent is at the root of their sexual fascination with spanking. This hatred feels on an unconscious level like a wild animal which, if let out of its erotosexual "cage" would surely either kill the parent or cause the parent to hate and reject the child in return. The fear of losing the parent is experienced in disguised form as guilt about the spanking-oriented fantasies.

Answer 7

I had a spanking fetish ever since I can remember (although at that time I didn't know what it was)

I was alwyas intrigued by it although I didn't know it was sexual excitement I was feeling...



I was never spanked by my parents.

Answer 8

I don't think that fetishes necessarily grow out of real life experiences, although I'm sure that's possible.



But, in addition to that, I think that they also grow out of interpreting experiences that you observe or become knowledgable about.



Often, a spanking fetish isn't so much about submission & control (that's more for the hardcore BDSM fetishists), as it is about believing (or pretending to believe in order to lessen inhibitions) yourself or your partner to be 'naughty' & in need of 'a spanking'.



So, you don't necessarily have to have been spanked as a child in order to understand the connection between being naughty & needing a 'spanking'.

Answer 9

I don't know, but this is definitely in the wrong section. But I'd imagine it's due in part to so many people watching porn and getting disgusting ideas from that. And then "spanking" becomes something dirty and sexual so now when people "spank" their kids for bad behavior, people get all bent out of shape out of it and get the wrong idea that there's sexual abuse going on.... honestly!

Answer 10

I think a fetish can develop from anything. A sexual fetish can develop from experiences.

Answer 11

... and this has to do with parenting how?

Really... spanking fetishes have absolutely nil to do with parenting.



No, spanking fetishes are not related to childhood spankings. As for logical... logic and fetish don't belong in the same sentence, LOL.

Answer 12

I believe personally that spanking is something sexual. I have not got why with adults its sexual assault with children its something else, if children are passed the puberty stage and still getting spanked I would they'd be a strong likely hood to associate spanking with sexual pleasure later on.

Answer 13

From experience I can tell you that spanking or not spanking, doesn't create any type of fantasy role playing as an adult.

Answer 14

yeah i think it totally would have been from childhood. like when they were a kid they were often spanked as punishment. they grew to like the spanking.

Answer 15

Wrong section

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Well if the question had been worded that way, we wouldn't have all thought it was in the wrong section. I honestly though it was a question about sexual fetishes only.



No, I don't think they are related. I think that the new age "experts" are so intent on proving that spanking is wrong that they will come up with anything to get people's attention, and in this world, what better to use than sex?

Answer 16

Why do people become serial killers? Try the MENTAL section, lol

Answer 17

it definitely does come from childhood.

Answer 18

this has to do with parenting how????

Answer 19

Here is a website that may help:

http://nospank.net/sexdngrs.htm