A Confession - Have any other women done the same?

Question

Hi there. I'm 26 and currently a working professional (engineer). My confession is that I secretly just want to be a Mom! I don't really care about my job - I only went into engineering for the money and b/c I'm smart. I'm just waiting for the point at which it is the right time to start having babies, and then I feel like that's it, I'm leaving the professional world forever. Ideally I'd like to have a few kids then once they're old enough to be in school, start a daycare.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2.5 years, we have a house, and he's an engineer to. But we won't be having kids for a few more years, after we're married. I've told him of my crazy ideas and he supports them and thinks it's great that I want to raise our kids. The women in his family are very career-oriented so I'm sure they will have their opinions (they wouldn't say them to my face though).

Am I nuts?!? The money in engineering is really good and I worked so hard for my degree!

Answer 1

My wife was a lawyer making six figures when we got married. She has always wanted to be a mom, but she didn't put her life on hold and wait around for it, because you never know what is going to happen... instead, she got her degree and started her career, like you, and once we had our twins, she gave it up and hasn't looked back since.



Some things are more important than money. You do not have "crazy ideas." There is a reason they call it maternal instinct.

Answer 2

I don't think you are crazy. I do not have a degree, but I did the same thing. I have 4 wonderful children and I was blessed to be able to stay at home for nine years and take care of them. I had my own daycare also. It was great! I could take care o my kids AND help with the bills. I have just recently started working again...it wasn't as tough as I thought it was going to be. My youngest is in school now so I figured it was time to get an outside job(after taking about a year off). I would make that same decision again if asked. I wish you all the best.

Answer 3

It's not nuts, its the instinct to procreate. Some people call it your biological clock or the nesting instinct, whatever. But just because you become a mom doesn't mean you have to give up engineering. Many mothers manage both a career and child rearing successfully.



But do what you feel in your heart you want to do. You may find that being at home with your kids is great for a while, but may not offer you the mental challenge you need.



Better to decide that after the children arrive than now when you are just longing for them....

Answer 4

No you are not nuts. We all have different ambitions. When I was young it wasn't so unusual to be a "stay at home" mom. When my mother was raising kids, staying at home with them was the norm. Now we have choices.



I loved staying at home with my children. Sure, it meant there wasn't as much money for things, but with common sense and good financial habits, we did very well (hubby did have a good job, as it seems your boyfriend does).



I know this isn't politically correct, but being there for your children (I don't care if it's the mommy or the daddy) is the best thing you can do for them. Daycare is not bad, but there is nobody else in this world who is going to care for your child the way you will.



You want to stay home with your kids when you have them - do it or you will regret that you didn't. No different than a woman who wants a career but stays home instead.

Answer 5

No, you are not nuts at all! I was the same. I went to a really good college, and got a really good job afterwards that paid well... all knowing the minute I had a baby I was leaving the workforce forever. My husband was on board and I was fortuneate that financially we could afford to do that. So sure enough, I got pregnant, had my baby and quit immediately. That was 7 years ago (and two more kids since) and I haven't regretted it not one bit. I still "work", I have a very fulfilling job as a mother, and I am very active at their schools and in their lives and as a result probably work a lot harder than I did at my job, lol!!



I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 6

Haha! I quit going to college because I knew I just wanted to be a mom and I didn't want to pay all those school loans for no reason! I was already with a steady boyfriend, which I'm now married to for 2+ years and we couldn't wait to have a baby (11 months old now.) We got married, bought a house, and got busy! :) Hehe... and we're thinking about the next one now.

(I do work by the way, which is different that your plan, but thats my preference.)



You only get to live once and having children is the most wonderful thing in the world! Do what makes you happy!

Answer 7

NO!! You are not nuts! I think it is very admirable that you would be willing to set aside your career and the money it brings in to give your children to be something that so many children today are missing out on...PARENTING and a loving mother who is there for them!

Don't let other peoples opinions, including family, dictate your wonderful nurturing quality. This world has become so money oriented that we are forgetting that our children will someday be leading us and without a good solid foundation in their formidable years...what in the world are we in for?

I am a stay at home mom after a career and at first I went through the "oh my goodness...I need to be at work" thing but then I realized that THIS IS MY WORK!! I made the choice to have my kids and that is most important. Why have someone else raise them for me? They wouldn't be my children then would they?

Good luck to you in all that you do and KEEP THAT FRAME OF MIND!!

Answer 8

Well, as Christians, confession (1 John 1:9) is something we should be using all the time (not to a priest, you can pray to God silently in your head). I don't think some one time death bed thing is going to win you points with God, unless of course you are talking about actually believing that Christ died for your sins (John 3:16). That would be wonderful, but that is an entirely different thing from confession of sin (1 John 1:9), which should be ongoing. So I would think the answer is no, but of course only God knows the heart. And if man one did all those things because he wanted people to think of him highly, or was proud, or self-righteous then these are dead works. And by the way. As Christians, when we die, we will not be judged by our sins. Those were forgiven at the cross. We receive or don't receive rewards for the production of our spiritual lives. The unbeliever is the one who has to worry about "works". at the Last Judgement. And those works are not sins. The sins of the world were paid for on the cross. The works are "good deeds". Meaning unbelievers are counting on them for salvation. One book has the good deeds, the other (Life) has their name blotted out because they did not believe in Christ. So there is a deficit: good works minus salvation equals you are in the red.

Answer 9

I don't think you're nuts! Most people in the world are just working to earn a paycheck, doing the things they really love outside of work--that's what hobbies are for! It's rare to actually get paid to do what you love to do.



I would advise you to just be flexible when the time comes and you have kids. I'm sure it will be a rewarding experience, but at the same time you may find that you miss being able to get away from the little ones for a while, miss being surrounded by adults doing grown-up things, and want to go back to work!

Answer 10

If staying home and raising your family is your true passion, then that's what you should do. If you find it's not for you, you have an excellent career to fall back on once your children are old enough. It's a tough job and not for everyone!! Make the decision that feels right in your heart.

Answer 11

You need to do what makes you happy, and if being a stay at home mom, makes you happy and you all can afford, by all means do it. It doesn't matter what the career-oriented say, careers make them happy and the home makes you happy, that's just the way it is. I was not happy in my chosen career, but then I wasn't happy at home either. I finally found an office job that suited me. It freaked some people out, but hubby and I didn't care as long as we were happy and ends were meeting, nothing else mattered.

Answer 12

No, you're not nuts! Everyone has their own ideas, goals and priorities. I think, if you can afford to stay at home and be a mom, then go for it. What is great, is that you have your degree, education and experience to fall back on. Some people may not understand your choice but they don't have to live your life either.

I'm jealous. I am a career woman but I would have rather stayed home with my children but financially, I couldn't do it.

Answer 13

all the money in the world wouldn't be worth me giving up what I enjoy most and that is being a mom. I don't need lots of money (even though some good dental would be nice...lol) to make me happy. I just love raising my own kids and I really don't trust anyone else to raise my kids!!!

Answer 14

I love to be at home and raise my kids. I think that is a great idea. If your partner is an engineer, you won't have to worry about your income! You will still do very well for yourself. Use your knowlege to educate your children. This will help them get a head start. Good Luck!

Answer 15

Not crazy at all! I have 3 kids and I'm a stay at home mom and always have been. Being a mom is the best job in the world!

Answer 16

you will be using you degree for a few years, until you have kids! if your goal is to be a mom, then go for it! it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. if it's good money, then your hubby should make enough to support the family while you stay at home. follow your true dream!!

Answer 17

Hey, being a mother is a career in itself, and you shouldn't feel crazy at all for wanting to raise your children at home with you... many women do it, and often times women change their careers in their lives as well! If you can afford it, do it... if you are passionate about it, do it... if it makes you happy, do it! Live your life according to your standards, not someone elses!

Answer 18

So long as you can realistically survive on only one income - go for it!

A relative of mine gave up a phenomenal career to be a stay-at-home mom and she loves it.

Its all about your preferences and if your household could survive (even for just a few years) on one income.

Answer 19

Natural, is what I would call it. We are the nurturers and that is how we are supposed to be. It is natural for you to want to stay home and be with your kids, when you have them. Their childhood only lasts a short time, and of course you don't want to miss it. If you can afford to do it then do it. There will be plenty of time for you to work your butt off when they go to school

Answer 20

I think it's great that you want to be a mom. You have spent time doing something for you and now you can devote yourself to your children. Good for you!!!

Answer 21

if u didnt feel tht way there wouldnt be ppl .. so yes sssoo normal