Stay at home moms (& dads) what things do you give up to be able to stay home?

Question

What are some of the "things" in life that you give up and some of the financial cuts that you make to make it possible to have one parent in your family stay home and raise your children?

In our case, We have three children, all girls. My husband makes about $38,000 a year. How we make it work is as follows: We found an older home in a decent neighborhood that's about 80 years old and a fixer-upper, it is 1,400 square feet which helps us save on utility costs. We don't have cable. We have one tv that we got used and is 10 years old. We don't have any new furniture, all of our furniture was given to us by family or friends who were giving away old stuff to make room for new - it isn't the most trendy, but it does the job. We don't have a boat or jet ski's or a vacation home or a pool or a big house with a deck or patio or hot tub or any of that. We don't go on vacations - ever. We stick to a very tight budget. We don't have new cars - they are used and paid for. We have a land line phone with an internet package that we pay $50 a month total for instead of having cell phones. We shop for clothes at garage sales, clearance racks, and consignment stores, we don't buy new toys for the kids all of the time - they receive those for Christmases and Birthdays only. We don't go out to eat, we cook meals at home instead. We don't have the latest technological devices which is just fine and we don't miss them either! When my husband and I go out on dates, it consists of a picinic supper, a thermos of coffee or hot chocolate, walks around the lake or fields, sitting on the tail gate of his pickup or long drives down a dirt road and talking and just enjoying eachother's company and not spending a dime! We don't buy new clothes unless we absolutely need them, as when they are worn out and need to be replaced which in reality is only once every year and or so and then it's only to replace the things that are worn out such as one or two pairs of jeans and one or two shirts (and not designer clothes, nothing over $20!) We save cupons for groceries and also shop at the commissary at the nearest military base or at a discount grocer. Our kids' birthday parties consist of a home made cake and icecream at home with family and a few of their friends. How about you moms and dads?

Answer 1

Nothing.

We're penny-pinchers to begin with. Before we had our son we never spent money extravagantly. I am not a big shopper, we cook at home (LOVE cooking) and only travelled occasionally (never far). Our weekends were spent working in our gardens, sitting outside or having BBQ's.

We have 1 cell phone, paid for by my husband's work. (We don't spend our time playing on computers and cell phones. I couldn't care less about the latest technology I see everyone gaga over. I've never sent a text message in my life. We only have basic cable because it's all we need.)



We didn't give up anything expensive except cigarettes. So we're not suffering one bit, living off 1 salary. We manage our money well and have no debts, except for our mortgage.

Answer 2

I am also nine months pregnant and I have a two year old and five year old. My husband works nights so he is gone in the evenings and sleeping most the day. I totally sympathize. Give your self a break. No one can be patient all the time. Being pregnant is hard enough, plus raising a toddler. Just do your best. Remember two year olds are just naturally a whole heap of trouble... but it is also the time they are the most loving and so darn cute. Don't concentrate so hard on perfection, just do your best to focus on the positive things your son is doing. And when you slip, and if you know you are being too harsh, just resolve to do better from that point on. It may also help to enlist some help from parents or friends this last month and for after the baby is born (its not going to get any easier with a screaming baby around). There are also moms groups in many communities and places of worship that may help you see the struggles all moms have dealing with young children. Good luck!!!

Answer 3

I work about 8-10 hrs on the weekend so it's just to keep me in the "loop". We don't go on vacations that are more than 2 days or more than a couple hours away.......no new vehicles (both of ours are 10+ years), no fancy clothes/accessories and I don't have health insurance. Most of our furniture has been given by family who got new stuff.........we're happy with the situation because I believe it's been good for the kids but I will enjoy having a little more "comfortability" when the situation changes.

Answer 4

The job I love.



I work weekends because asking me to go without a real job is going too far, so we compromise. I work weekends so my husband can be home with them, therefore strangers aren't raising our kids, and they don't have to leave home for their care. I'm in college, once a week for now until both of my kids are in school. I'm going to be a librarian and I've even been offered a job at the local library. Full time, which unfortunately isn't possible right now. So that's my biggest sacrifice, I turned down the job I've always wanted, and I work a job that blows so I can be home Mon-Fri with my kids while they are too young for school:(

Answer 5

My husband hours got cut to 35 or less a week last year, I work between 20 and 25 hours a week a couple times a month, if I am called in but no more than that because we still have a grade school child at home. Our kids are 17 (nearly 18) just turned 16, 13 and 9. We live simply, we rent rather than own a home. We play a huge amount in rent every month. over a thousand dollars for a three bedroom home. But it is in a good area. low crime. safe.

We pay our own utilities. Phone and Internet. and one cell bill. There is not a lot left after the bills are paid. My husband I and do not used credit cards. We are just grateful we still have jobs.



We stopped eating out on weekends. Now we splurge with a homemade pizza and two rented films a month. We go to parks to camp out and swim rather than Motels and theme parks. We play Miniature golf as a family a couple times in the summer. . We will help with school expenses but our kids know they have to work to get to do things. None of the kds does after school sports right now by choice.



We gave up cable, (for internet) and the kids are only allowed four hours TV of any kind a week. My 16 year old daughter babysits and works at Walmart in the summer. She can pretty much buy her own clothes. My 13 year old does lawn work and is a 'gramma's helper' in the neighborhood, he earns enough to buy the games he likes and keep his bike and board looking good. He would like to train to skateboard competively and we are looking in to that. IF he can't do that then he wants to hike and rock climb. He did scouts until last year. He loved the outdoor stuff. We don't do any outside the house adult only things, no date night out, no quick trips out of town for a night away. No NFL or baseball games, no movies at all. We go for walks in the evenings and play badmbadminton weekends. A friend gave us a Croquet set and we are going to set that up. We play cards and read. and talk.



Last year we worked at the County Fair in order to go.



My 17 -nearly 18 year old is planning on joining the navy or air force when he graduates. he works 5 nights a week until ten at a local hardware store.

We shop only at recycled clothing shops except for school clothes and we are on a tight budget for that.

We have two cars but only license one, I take the bus, as do my children and we have bikes.

We only have one computer and one cell phone-my husband usually has that.

We shop twice a month for groceries. No soda, candy or chips. If we want that we must pay for it ourselves out of our own pocket money-even my husband and I must do that.

We budget--all the time. We meet as a family to help the kids understand why we often must say no to things they want. I have not had a new-new dress in three years. I even learned to mend and sew and create new from old. The kids get new shoes. We (parents) do not. We can find used shoes to wear. if my oldest boy who is 17 wants to spend his own money on a pair of expensive sneakers he can do that but will have balance that out against his hobbies and entertainment. He has to wait for a car. he does not make enough money to get insurance yet. We cannot afford to have more than two people on the insurance and he has known that since he was 12. He has a car savings account of his own and is getting closer.



our kids have college accounts, which we save and add to at birthdays and holidays if we can. Lately we can't.

Christmas is very small, nothing for us, games for our two youngest, earrings, or a necklace for the daughter and a cash donation to the 'car fund' for our oldest.

Answer 6

I gave up my sanity for 2 years.



Being at home, it's easy to cut costs. When we did outings, we always packed a lunch. shopped at second-hand stores and Value Village. Made good use of the toy lending library and free drop-in group.



Having said that, my husband made very good money so it wasn't a huge issue.



While I love my children more than anything else in the world, my sanity - or lack thereof - negatively impacts everybody. I am sadly not cut-out to be a mom who stays at home full-time. I could easily do it 2 days a week, but I need some adult time too.



In all honesty, that really surprised me, as I thought I would love being a SAHM.



Don't get me wrong - I certainly did love alot of things about it. But also found it stressful and frustrating.

Answer 7

wow

i really appreciate your way of living that's how you must live , we spend money for necessary things , the true HARMONY in ones life is love affection , simplicity, self confidence, , people waste money for up today fashion just for the modern society !!!!!!! its really foolishness . Your way of living is a good model for your children, and grandchildren so keep it up , sharing home made food, watching tv , playing in door games, home made food is healthy, you can create new recipes according to your taste,and its fresh your home is a blessed home when you are all satisfied this way of living with sharing love affection forming a solid happy family , you are the happiest parents and adorable family in this world , keep it up may god bless you all

Answer 8

my husband's income comfortably supports us, so there's no real financial "sacrifice" involved. but of course you can always imagine what you'd do with it if you had more money. bigger retirement contributions, the additions to our house that we don't critically need but my husband would really like, more frequent vacations, and more financial support to my inlaws, who are not well-off.



to me, it's well worth the trade.