Do you think this was rude? (A little long)?

Question

So, last night we had a family Christmas dinner at a favorite restaurant. It's was my mom's family, so it was my grandfather, his wife, my weird uncle and his wife, my aunt and her husband, and my mom, my stepdad, me and Johnny.

Now - keep in mind that Johnny had been in daycare all day long and he's used to going straight home and being able to crawl around and play all evening. So, anyways, we get to the restaurant and are waiting for my weird uncle to get there (he's always 45 minutes late). Johnny's sitting in the highchair, playing around and just talking away. Then he decides to start talking REAL loudly and throw everything he can on the floor (his toys, my keys, his cup, etc). He wasn't bothering anyone and he wasn't acting up, he was just playing around. We were in a separate part of the restaurant, not really near a lot of people, so it wasn't like he was bothering anyone other than my family, and MOST of them didn't think he was being bad - he was just acting like a 14 month old that was cooped up in a wooden highchair.

So, anyways, my weird uncle's wife starts talking about her 2.5 year old grandson and how his mom and dad can't take the 2.5 year old out to dinner or anything because he always gets out of the chair and runs around and bothers people. At that point, my aunt's husband puts a napkin by his mouth (trying to hide what he was saying from my end of the table) and says "Christina can't take Johnny out anywhere either, I can't believe she's letting him act like that."

Johnny wasn't doing anything BAD! He wasn't crying, screaming, or anything... He was just playing around! He's a 14 month old for goodness sake!

Can you really compare behavior of a 2.5 year old to a 14 month old?

Would you have been mad about this??? I'm still completely pissed about it right now... I don't know if I'm just PMS-ing and overreacting or what. LOL

Answer 1

Of course it was rude. The adults should certainly learn manners before they worry about the toddlers.



I personally have a thing about restaurants, though. Even when my kids were babies if they were being loud (even in a happy way) or throwing things or something I'd take them out. Yes, I spent a fair amount of time pounding the sidewalk outside when the kids were very little (but it paid off and now I love the compliments from the wait staff). I think people in general when they're paying a lot of money for dinner are a little less willing to tolerate perfectly normal baby or toddler behavior. I do get that it's a little different if you have an entire section of the restaurant just for you and family. Apparently some of your family isn't willing to cut you the slack, though, so I'd either skip their company next time or bring the little guy outside (or maybe distract him with something quieter, if you can).

Answer 2

What I've done in that situation is just leave. I mean I didn't want to but when my family started to criticize how my kids were acting (even if it was absolutely normal under the circumstances of being being put in a high chair for an extended or not getting to eat for a long time at a restaurant). I personally don't think a kid at 2 1/2 should get out of his chair and run around (my boys never did that at any age), but I think what your little boy did was fine and I would have left. Christmas or not, I would have been gone. You can't expect a 14 mo. old to sit there, especially when hungry and not getting to move around. It just isn't going to happen. You're fine. However, I will say this, when my kids were that age and tossing stuff off the high chair out of boredom, I didn't pick it back up off the floor for them to do it again. I just left it on the floor, and soon they either stopped, or ran out of stuff to do that with. Maybe next time you could bring some colors or a very well liked toy.

Answer 3

There is a big difference between a 2.5 year old and a 14 month old and it was a rude comment to make. however, you did say he was your 'weird' uncle so how much weight does a rude comment from him carry. He was the only one there who was rude, evidently Johnny wasn't bothering anyone else so why let it ruin an eventing out with family? I think you overreacted. Who cares what some weird uncle says? I hope you didn't make a scene and spoil the fun for everyone.

Answer 4

He was rude, inexplicably so. There should be a law, those that do not have children shall pass no judgment on those that do. They don't have kids so they may have lofty expectations of how children should act (probably seen and not heard)



Bella is 18 months and she wont sit still, she stands up and sits down multiple times throughout dinner if she isn't trying to escape or crawl across the table. Everything ends up on the floor and she talks very loudly, they're children, its okay.



I'd be upset too, no one likes to be judged critically especially publicly. Not cool. Just looking at his happy little face you can tell Johnny's a little angel, uncle must not be very perceptive...

Answer 5

I would have shot back, "I guess your wife shouldn't take you out in public either, since you don't know how to behave."

Your uncle was rude to say that. Even if it were true, there are just some things that shouldn't be said out loud. It's called tact, and he apparently has none. Furthermore, Johnny is a baby. He isn't old enough to know or remember the rules yet. In a year, he'll know that it's not OK to throw things and be loud. If he were acting that way at 2 1/2, it would be a whole different story. But really, he was acting like a baby, which is completely understandable.

Answer 6

Look Christina.

Families are the only opinions that really truly hurt. In reality a 2.5yo cannot be compared to a 14 month old.

You cannot compare my 3yos with their 4yo sibling, heck I can't even compare the twins.



I've had hurtful comments made about my Child, and my Parenting, by my Family & Andrew's Family. I will be honest, they are the only opinions that can cut me deep. I've been in tears from stupid comments, that should never have been said.

I figure fek them all. I raise my boys to the best of my ability. That's all I can do. My boys aren't angels, nor are they Devils, you have to take the good with the bad.

I wouldn't be mad over it, I would be crying over it. I am very soft when people make comments over my Parenting, especially my Families. My Mum remarked today that our 4yo shouldn't be riding a quad the way he does. I started bawling. He is a very safe rider, and on the farm that is how we play. My Mum didn't mean I was a bad parent, but it still hurt, you know.



It's ok, we know your doing the best you can. Aren't we all.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Answer 7

That is crazy...i would have said something to him right then and there...you can not compare a 14mth old to a 2 1/2 yr old...he was playing w/ keys and throwing them down that is what infants do...



you are good for not saying anything i would have packed up and left after showing my a$$ and making sure they heard me LOL

*that's the italian new yorker in me LOL *



as for the 2 1/2 yr old if they ran the house the kid would sit still for them ...apprently the kid runs the house and they have no controll...my son is 2 1/2 and sits fine if not...we go to the bathroom...have a talk and come back out well behaved again!

Answer 8

Yep... that was extremely rude!



People just do NOT understand that a toddler CANNOT sit still in a high chair and be quiet long enought to have a LONG sit down dinner. There's nothing wrong with that - they're just too little. They have to be able to play and be entertained. Honestly, I'm 25 years old, and I still get bored going out to a long dinner with my family. (I do contain myself though lol)



My mom always wants me and my son to meet her for dinner after she gets off work. It's 2:00 - NAPTIME! And she wants me to put my son in a high chair for 2 hours with nothing to do when he's not hungry (he can't wait til 2 for lunch!) and tired. And she wonders why I never want to go. I don't want to try unsuccessfully to keep my son entertained, and I don't want to subject everyone else in the restaurant to what is bound to turn into a full-blown temper-tantrum.



So girl, I've been there. And it sounds like Johnny was being as good as possible considering the situation. Just try to ignore the rude comments (esp from people who don't have kids!), although I would have been pissed too.

Answer 9

People who don't have kids simply don't understand.



Before I had kids I didn't understand and would think "how can they let their kid act that way"?



Now I have an 11.5 month old and am very paranoid in restaurants about how he acts because I think of how I used to think and don't want him bothering other people, I try my best but sometimes you can't help what they do, especially this young, they don't understand what being quiet even means yet.



Now if it's a 10 year old running wild all over the restaurant bothering other people and the parents aren't doing anything THAT is a different story.



Just know that he doesn't have children so he just won't understand, I wouldn't be too upset about it.

Answer 10

OMG, no... 14 month VS 2.5 year old... HUGE difference. A 2.5 year old KNOWS how to behave in a restaurant; that's the difference.



Urgh, you using the word 'weird' to describe him is a much nicer word than I would have used. I guess it's been a while since he had a 14 month old.



Ooop, sorry C... I am easily confused!! No kids explains it 100% though!!!!! I have a brother with no children who would say something like this. It makes my husband soooo mad (he's just ignorant sometimes).

Answer 11

Ya, what a jerk! I would have said "your the one who should have been left at home, telling secrets and making rude comments like a two year old yourself!" then I would have grabbed the loaf of bread on the table and smacked him upside his head with it. Okay maybe that was extreme but I would have been pissed too! They are just kids and so young...they don't have any idea what restaurant etiquette is....

people that give us weird looks in restaurants for gracee doing the same thing pisses me off so I can imagine how much a rude comment would make you mad!

Answer 12

YES I would have been pissed! And that's not bad behaviour even for a 2 and a half year old. No kid likes to be cooped up in a highchair for any length of time.

Answer 13

In our family, it seems like the no one likes their neices and nephews. It's like THEIR kid is perfect, but their neice or nephew is a spoiled little brat, and their own siblings are rotten parents. LOL



I'm the only one with no kids and i keep my mouth shut, but I must admit that I don't enjoy family outings at restaurants if there are kids there.



They always want to be the center of attention and i'm not just talking about babies and toddlers. Even 10 year olds.



But i never say ANYTHING because i think it's rude to.

Answer 14

Yeah I would have been ticked off. Theres a huge difference between a kid running around a restaurant and a baby dropping stuff on the floor. I would have told the weirdo to STFU but Im not very nice. How many kids does he have anyway? oh yeah ZERO.

Answer 15

What a butt. Seriously. Hes a (well I dont think YA will let me type what I think so fill in the blank how you like). Really, you could have said, yea your wife must feel the same way.

Smile and ignore the idiots.

Dont go out to dinner with them anymore.

You weren't wrong. Hes a kid and as long as hes not screaming and running around, your fine.

Answer 16

Sounds like the woman is from the old school of "children should be seen and not heard". She owns the problem not you. It bothered her not anyone else apparently. She should have kept her comment to herself but it is over and done with now. Forget about it and move on. There are far more important things in life then rude people.

Answer 17

Oh, I would be pissed also. He is a baby just trying to entertain himself, nothing wrong with that. He should of kept his comments to himself.



I know it's easier said then done, but don't let him get to you. There is always someone to say something stupid no matter where you go. Last weekend we had a family Christmas party and my cousin asked my mom about her finances "how could you possible afford to send your son to a private school" (Non of her damn business!). People are just rude sometimes.

Answer 18

Um YEAH that was rude of him! What an imbecile. He obviously has no kids of his own. I would have pointed out his rudeness in front of everyone, but that's me. I'm sorry that some idiots just never gain a brain.



By the way, I'll bet Johnny is the sweetest little thing in the world :)

Answer 19

I would've whispered in my Napkin "________" shouldn't have been invited he's so rude and immature by being 45 min late how selfish of him next time he should just stay home" I wouldve said it loud enough for him to hear:)



Idiot, I love judgemental people like that! Thank goodness he doesn't have any kids. I don't think he could handle it.

Answer 20

No I have a 2 and 3 year old.And people understand they get board too.

kids are going to get board.But they do know better.He was having a little bit of fun.No harm in that I suppose.

Answer 21

I really do not get this whole "babies need to behave 100% in public" crap. Yes, they need to behave age appropriately, but some of the little annoying things they do are part of their developmental growth. Throwing things down and giggling when mom picks it up isn't misbehaving in the least bit, at 14 months old. That's what babies DO!



Sure, if he was screaming and crying and throwing silverware AT someone, you would have taken him out. Duh!



I would have been pretty ticked, but knowing me- I cannot hold my tongue and if I was pms-ing on top of it, well, poor man woulda left in tears.

Answer 22

I'd be pissed off too! I hope another member of your family stood up for you and your son as it sounds as though he was just being a baby to me! Some people are just *****, dont let it stress you out for too long xxxx

Answer 23

My reply would have gone something like "Well Johnny is only 14 months old, he's supposed to act like. What's YOUR excuse."

Answer 24

i don't see anything wrong with it. my 16 month old daughter does the same. he was wrong to compare your child to a 2.5yr old . and i agree calling your uncle weird was nice to what he should be called. i don't think family shoud treat family the way he did

Answer 25

Some people except young children to be perfect mini-adults. Typically they don't have children.

Answer 26

I would have held up my napkin and whispered "Wow (insert aunt's husband's name) doesn't have children and doesn't know that you can hear through a napkin!"

Answer 27

Of course we all KNOW it was rude. It would be kind of "normal" for her to think that way about you, but she should have never said it. Chalk it up to her not having children.

Answer 28

It was beyond rude! I would have been angry, and with my fiery temper I would have told him off like no one's business. Maybe he should be the one to stay home next time.