i dont care for kids that much and dont really imagine having one is there something wrong w/ me?

Question

i just had a miscarriage w/ my gf and i was sad but not like devastated or anything and i think her son is a brat and really annoying has anyone ever felt that way or what could be my issue?is this normal?

Answer 1

i think your the kind of person that doesnt like other ppl's kids but your own

im sure if you had one you would love them

Answer 2

Wizz 1, I am proud of u knowing before hand that u don't want kids, not ever one does. No there isn't anything wrong with u.

ur gf's son could be a brat. Have a talk with her & see how she feels about not ever having anymore kids.

It's best 2 know u don't want kids, than to have them, then discover u didn't want them.

But u really should do more on ur part to prevent ur gf from conceiving.

Think of all the unwanted kids out there, or the kids that got aborted because someone didn't make the decision before getting/ becoming pregnant.

Answer 3

First of all, hon, you really need to get a handle on your relationship with your girlfriend's son -- especially if you intend to marry her or live with her.... one of you has to be the adult... and i would think that person is you.... so be a good example. The kid is probably a brat because he's obviously gone through his parents' separation, and put yourself in his place -- he probably FEELS ABANDONED!



And here you come along to take his mom away from him...



It's not true, but this is how kids think... so if he is resentful, you can remind him you know how much his mom loves him once in a while...



Meanwhile, if you dont' want kids of your own, do not have any... it's not abnormal for some people to be disinterested in raising a family. and to be quite frank, if i had to do it all over again? I would not have had children. I have two sons, love them with all my heart.



I have a good friend who doesn't want kids....and she's a wonderful person...



take care.

Answer 4

Who can tell?



There's nothing wrong with not wanting children of your own. There's nothing wrong with not wanting children in your life - provided your partner feels the same way.



However I think you should seriously examine your motives for the relationship with your girlfriend. You don't want children. You don't like children. You're not especially upset that he child you and she created together has died. Was the pregnancy even planned? Have you discussed this with her? The clincher for me is that you were about to start a family with her - and you don't like her son!



Frankly, I don't see how the relationship can last. I certainly don't see how it can be healthy for the child. There's going to be no contest; whenever there's conflict or friction and you try to make her choose between you and her son, you will lose every time. Quite rightly. She and her son are a package deal; love both or leave.

Answer 5

There's nothing wrong with that. I'm 36 and could never stand kids, especially seeing them uncontrolled in the streets. Put me off having them. Then my g/f fell pregnant and it scared the living sh*t out of me. My missus had a threatened miscarriage and I was building myself up for the loss because I knew it would hit her a lot harder than it would me. Once we got through that, I warmed to the idea of having kids. Now I think it's a great idea and hopefully an opportunity for me to introduce a nice little person into the world whos respectful and can teach some of these others a lesson.

If you ask me, you're probably not ready for it yet if you didn't feel that bad about the miscarriage. Or, like me, you built yourself up ready for the worst so you could be strong and support the missus when she needs you?

Answer 6

There's nothing wrong with you not wanting to have children and many women feel the exact same way . . . but there is something wrong with what you are doing; you dislike your girlfriend's son, almost had a baby with her, but don't see her as a person to settle down with? Her son may be bratty, but he is just a kid. He does not deserve this. Break up with this girl and let her find someone more compatible with them.

Answer 7

I'm the same way. I don't like kids too much. I don't enjoy being around them all the time. I'm fine w/ other people's kids, so long they go home to their parents at the end of the day. There's nothing wrong with you. In fact MORE people should be like you. There's too many people in the world as it is!

Answer 8

Not everyone is meant to have children, but that doesn't mean that those who want them are insane. It's a different lifestyle for everyone. Everyone has their own beliefs.



Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. It does take a liking for chaos (as if there is ever a peace treaty in the war against diapers!) and a strong sense of adventure, as well as strength to understand that you are not the most important person in the world.



If it's not for you, then it's not for you. But give it time.



Almost every guy i know who is about to reach 30 has this strange craving to sew his wild oats and create life. You may get the urge one day, and you may not. But don't knock it, since you just don't know the blessing it is to have your own children.



Theresa - what is wrong with wanting to spread your genetic code? it's only the most deeply imbedded instinct in our body (i.e. the want for sex.)

Answer 9

If you're abnormal, then I am too. I've never wanted kids. I've always viewed them as a waste of money and a drain on creativity.



I'm 33 and am PROUD to not have kids. In fact, I think people who want kids are slightly insane and not all that intelligent.



Let the thumbs down commence.

Answer 10

Not everybody's cut out for having kids. If you're not, there's no shame in that -- but if your girlfriend is (and especially if she has one already) then this is obviously a potential problem.



Some people rise to the occasion and become great parents anyway.



Some don't.

Answer 11

God works in mysterious ways. The issues you have you have now, and even if you continue to feel this way, there is nothing wrong with you. God Bless.

Answer 12

Yep, I felt the same way for decades. We have several friends who are childless, and they seem happy--very happy.

Answer 13

i myself love kids and plan on having a couple later on in life, but my best friend hates kids with a passion. although i'm sure she'd tolerate her niece that is on the way and mine when i have them. so no it's not weird. its a personal preferance.

Answer 14

Not to worry.....Not everyone is enamoured with "Brats" !!!!