Parents: When you decided to have kids did you think about when they grow up?

Question

I always wondered this. A majority of married couples decide to have kids and I understand why they would want babies and then they think about them going to preschool and kindergarten but do they ever think about them becoming teenagers? I want kids but lately I keep asking myself when I see parents why did they choose to have kids. I do it too. I'm 15 and think about having babies and little kids but I can't imagine myself having teenagers. Like I just see my friends parents and wonder why they decided t have kids and if they thought what their kids would be like now.

Answer 1

That question scares me!! Because I wasnt a very "good" teenager! And I have 2 girls and 2 boys.. My oldest is 6 and she already acts like she is 10! My husband is always saying he is going to send my girls to a catholic school for only girls! When I decided to have children I mainly thought about the younger years but I did think about them as teenagers somewhat.. Mainly thinking and wondering if they were going to be good or be like the saying " your children are going to be 10 times worse than you were as a teen"

Answer 2

I first started talking about having kids of my own when i was 3 years old so no I didn't at that time thinking about the teenage stage just the babies and toddlers like my nieces and nephews. When i was 12 years old though I started thinking more seriously about the family I would have some day and yes did think about teenage years. When I was 16 I was even thinking about how someday my kids would have kids of their own. Now at 29 years old with a 6 year old and a 3 year old an a baby coming soon I think about a lot of things with the kids growing up. My boys and their choice of "girlfriends" and their "friends" and such and how they act right now makes me wonder how much trouble they will be as teens. I think that when you decide you want to become a parent you need to think about all of it. They only stay small for a short time.

Answer 3

I was actually thinking about that today too! I saw an episode of Everybody Loves Raymond where Allie (the daughter) was going through a teenage phase. It was amusing but so true! I've always wanted about 4 kids since I'm one of four but I'm not looking forward to the teenage years. I'm 18 now and, even though I was a good kid, I still gave my mom a headache over the past few years. So I'm not looking forward to them being brats, as all teenagers can be, but I do like the older kids (8-12) and at the same time, I will (of course) love my kids when they're teenagers, even though I'm sure they'll drive me nuts. I look forward to having adult kids too. My siblings are all older than me by 4-10 years so I've seen them with my mom and I like the relationship that they have. It's definitely different being an adult and having a relationship with your parents than when you are a kid. You still look to them for guidance, but less, and they become closer to you as friends, but still maintain the parental role. My parent's will always be my mommy and daddy, no matter how old I get! : )



I still want children of course! I can't wait to see them grow up and go through all the stages I'd been through and everything! But, parenting is not for everyone. You're still young though, you have plenty of time to decide what you want to do!

Answer 4

We thought about having teenagers one day, but we didn't dwell on that. We had babies to raise first, and that was the most important thing we had to do. As the kids grew, we were growing too, and each stage of development was more astounding than the last. By the time they were teens we really liked them, and of course we loved them. I can honestly say we had no trouble whatsoever with our teens. Now our kids are grown up they are still close to their family, support each other and keep in close touch with us. They aren't at home anymore, but we e-mail daily. There is nothing like watching your children grow into responsible adults.

While they were growing up, we were 100% parents, but now they need us in a different capacity and we can be friends. Every stage of development is wonderful. We hoped they would turn out just the way they did. Don't worry too much about picturing yourself as a mom to teens. It happens all by itself, when you least expect. :-)

Answer 5

I have thought of this AFTER I had my kids. When you want a baby, I think most people think about the baby part... and really I think parents just take it day by day and dont think about how they might be in the future. I will cross the bridge of teenage-hood when I get there... not looking forward to the mood swings though - I have 2 girls!

Answer 6

I am 19 married and i have 2 kids a 4 and a 5 year old and twin girls coming of the way. No my wife and I didn't think about the fact that our kids will someday become teenagers but at the same time we wont be very old when they a 14 - 15. We just hope that they don't end up like us and have kids a 13-14 years old.

Answer 7

Yes, of course we think about the day when they are no longer babies. That's why we start college funds for them when they are born. ;-)



By the time your baby is a teenager, you will have been there for her, loved her, cried with her, and dreamed of her future for 13 years. As a parent, I think about the future but I realize that both my daughter and I will be different people in a few years. Her, especially!

Answer 8

I tried to imagine it but you don't really know what to expect until you get there. My 13 year old son (the oldest) is SUCH a joy. We share re same sense of humor (which I didn't imagine) he's a great kid and he's just all around fun to be with. I love watching our kids grow and become who they are. It's amazing full of surprises. I already imagine them with kids and what it will be like to be a grandparent (yikes). Looking towards the future is good but it's better to just enjoy the moments as they come. :)

Answer 9

Children are like a box of chocolates; you never know what you will get. Something else to think about is the little guys going to college and how to pay for it.

I know people that don't have children but they usually parent their dogs or cats.

Children can be a wonderful blessing or a nightmare, just like life. You will learn to be a teenager parent if you make it that far. I would say go for it. There is no one you will love more than your children.

Answer 10

I don't think I ever really thought about what they would be like as teenagers. We just kind of go with the phases as they come at us. I definitely didn't really think a lot about what my kids would be like before I had them. I sometimes still can't imagine myself with older kids, but I have them! lol

Answer 11

No, we didn't. I got pregnant earlier than what was planned. That thought never crossed our minds. Now that I have a 13 month, i do think about what he will be like when he grows up.



I think you when you're first trying to get pregnant, you're only thinking about trying to conceive a healthy baby. The rest of the thinking comes as he gets older. At least it's that way for me.

Answer 12

It's because you are young and have not gotten to that actual child bearing part yet. I am still surprised when I look at my sons and realize that, low and behold, as they age so do I. It is quite a slap in the face with my own mortality! Someday I hope to be a grandmother and I NEVER thought I would think or say that! So many things to look forward to...

Answer 13

lol yes i think about all those years to come!



i am looking forward to being a grandmother even and my daughter is only 13 months lol (not saying i want her to have a baby young, just saying i cant wait to see how my daughter is in my place right now..)

Answer 14

when you can imagine your baby all grown up thats when you are ready for kids. before i had my daughteri thought about all the stages of life, and what might happen or what i wanted for her. i do think some people dont think about it, but if you are havng a baby for the right reasons and are ready for it, you tink about it

Answer 15

I'm trying to conceive our first baby and I think of them at all stages of life. I don't just think of them as babies because, as future parents, we must raise them to be successful adults. We don't raise babies to be good toddlers, we raise babies to be good people.

Answer 16

My husband and I are always talking about when our kids will be teens and what we will allow, etc etc.

Some do, some don't...

Answer 17

I picture her doing well in school and applying for colleges.