?
2011-05-16 19:06:22 UTC
The father is quadraplegic. An ex Navy sailor meets care crash victim. He has limited ROM in his arms and hands, and spends a lot of his time in bed. He does most of the cooking for the family, still. He's got close contact with an ex wife, and his current wife is a little crazy. Not drugs or anything, but as in trying to be everywhere at once. The father isn't hesitant to make comments of a sexual nature toward me. I have been flat out asked to show private areas, and he's offered to bust out his non working parts. I'm 17, and he's aware of that as well. He's pulled out his cigars and smoked in my face, as well as offering me alcohol.
Now the list of children and issues there.. They have a child that just turned 3, as well as a boy/girl set of twin toddlers that are like 18 months old. They've also got two large dogs.
Issues with the 3 year old...
- He's still using pacifiers. Most of you say yeah okay whatever. He's a baby, let him have them. The problem here is that they've been told by doctors that his jaw is becoming affected-- and he has got speech impediments. Family members have also not hesitated to comment on this. Upon asking the father why they don't listen to doctors he's told me (more like talked down to me) telling me that I'm only 17 and have no business worrying about it because he's not my child. They're the parents and they're the ones that have to deal with the temper tantrums he throws when the pacifier is taken away. So they just flat aren't going to take it away from him.
-He's on bottles. He uses a sippy cup occasionally, and cannot drink out of a regular cup. He goes to sleep with huge 9 ounce bottles of milk 2 times a day. In my own research I've learned that one, a child should never be put to sleep with a bottle.. and two, putting a child to sleep with a bottle causes jaw issues as well as tooth decay.
-He doesn't sleep in his own bed. This is just one of those tiny issues, and it's not that big. He's pretty close to his father, and actually sleeps in the bed with him at all times. The child isn't provided with his own room, even though there is a room that could be utilized for either him or the father (more likely the father, who uses a hospital style bed). The child was given his own bed (a little buzz lightyear toddler bed). The father regularly complains that sleeping with the child causes him (the father) pain and loss of sleep.
- He isn't potty trained. This is the issue I understand takes time and a heck of a lot of effort. It's the way that they're going about "potty training" that bothers me. The child actually does still wear diapers. The father only puts him in diapers, and the mother prefers them. I always put him in a pull up at least. When the child is clearly going to the bathroom, either father or mother will ask "are you going potty?" and he'll reply yes sometimes, no other times (you can tell because he hides to get privacy). When he replies, they'll ask "do you need to go sit on the toilet? i think you should", and the child will reply with a no. Always a no. This is where both father and mother, 100% of the time, go "okay" and leave the situation until he's ready to have his diaper changed. He's NOT allowed to be placed in big boy underwear. It kind of makes me feel like he's forced to be a baby.
- He's straight up babied. Every parent wants their child to stay a baby forever-- but the father has made it clear to me that this is his baby and things will happen "when they happen". Which isn't the case with a toddler, I'm sorry. He throws temper tantrums and gets away with murder.
The babies...
There's not much I see wrong here. They are babies, and they are treated as such. The babies use sippy cups more than the older child does, and don't use pacifiers at all. The girl is speech delayed due to hearing loss from ear infections, but is getting tubes placed within the moth so all of that can drain out. The mother still does give the babies bottles, and the babies are always put to sleep with bottles. The boy, mostly, shows large issues with separation anxiety. To the point the mother has questioned that something might be wrong with him psychologically. He gets himself VERY upset, and the crying where he actually stops breathing to cry instead is always involved. The older boy, in my opinion, sees that this gets the babies attention and has started doing this with the mother, too.
My biggest issues are with the father. This isn't his first round with babies, and he has four other from the last ma