Does your hubby/partner help out much with kids & housework?

Question

How much do they chip in & should they be expected to after being at work?

Answer 1

no he doesnt, i feel your pain i work and go to school and i have an 18 month old and a 3 yr old (both boys) god i hope i never die cause my kids would be screwed. he doesnt lift a freaking finger around here. he comes home from work and comes down stairs sits on the couch and looks all stupid while i finish cleaning and cooking and dishes and bathing OUR kids and then im off to school for 3 hours at night and i come home and he hasnt even taken out the trash. and it is MY mom that defends HIM. good luck and dont kill him like i know all of us thinks about sometimes, at least he plays with them when he gets home but damn i need some help with the chores

Answer 2

I'm a stay at home wife and mother by choice. My husband works very hard everyday. He often asks me if he can lend a hand. Sometimes I tell him no, but many times more I accept his offer. He is helping raise my 2 daughters.They are from a previous marriage. He has watched the girls for me many times. He takes them shopping while I tend to other things. He takes them many places so I can have a "breather". We also both take care of his disabled mum. I care for her through the day, and he does in the evenings. It's a perfect set up really for us. He gets his time away from us as well, and we make arrangements for his mother so we can have family outings. I have older children in the states who are married. One daughter is seperated from her hubby now simply because he wouldnt help out. " It was her job" to tend to the kids and the house. My other daughter has been married happily 10 years so far. Her hubby helps all the time to the point I call her lazy..lol

All men should lend a hand. It takes 2 to make a marriage and only one lazy git to screw it up.

Answer 3

My husband of 27 years and I are grandparents who have custody of two toddler grandchildren. We have had the 4 year old boy since he was 3 months old and his little sister, who is now 3 years old, since she was born.



The 3 year old has C.P. and a severe sensory disorder so I am constantly on the go with her and her appointments. My husband has Thursdays and Sundays off. On Thursdays, he takes the 4 year old for a boys day out, while I take the little girl to school, then physical therapy, occupational therapy and then speech therapy.



On a normal day, by the time he gets home from work, the house is pretty clean, dinner has been cooked and the children have been fed. He eats, then bathes the children and after we get them to bed, he cleans the kitchen.



I do everything from pay the bills to do the laundry, but he helps me every way he can and I appreciate it greatly.

Answer 4

DH is good with the kids, better than most for sure. DH has always participated in bathtime (we switch every other night), getting up in the night (even with work), and generally looking after the kids. Right now he has the both of them at the church for a Easter egg hunt and festival. He is not as nurturing a mommy would be, but then again he's not one!



Housework is a completely different story though. I would say I'm completely on my own in that department but I try hard not to complain as long as he doesn't leave a trail of mess behind him.

Answer 5

"How much do they chip in & should they be expected to after being at work?"



You were working all day too...just at home with your baby.



My husband does a lot around here. We have three kids...we've got a lot to keep up with.



He's been invaluable for the last week and a half...I've had a nasty 'upper respiratory virus' that's really kicked my rear end. He's been holding up most of my end of the tent this week too.



He has a very demanding career...took him a while to realize that he can't just come home and put up his feet like he did before we had kids...but now that he's on board, we all do better and feel better.

Answer 6

My husband helps with the housework on the weekends, when he is not working. During the week its up to me. He does help with her when he gets home, thank goodness. After a full day of her bossyness, I sure can use it. But sometimes he can just ignore her when she is screaming, so I feel like its just me at times.

I feel for you that he doesnt pay any attention to your child, and you may feel sorry that she doesnt pay attention to him, but I feel he has to make an effort to play with her, change a diaper, even if he did just get home from work...after all he is a parent.

Good job raising your baby!

Mine tends to latch onto me as well, even while cooking dinner she wants to be held. Most of the day long she wants me to stand up and hold her. She will yell at me for sitting down. oh the wonderful terrible 2's! Just wait for that! ;)



I do think they shoudl help a little when they get home. I am sure they have worked a full day, but so have we! Our lunch break is IF they have taken a nap, then to me that is my clean-up time. Thats what I had told my husband before.

Answer 7

Speaking from the 'hubby' point of view, I work hard and long hours just having started my own company. Generally my wife cleans during the week but I will hoover and do the dishwasher, help out with the kids. I don't mind helping, but the only thing I will not do is dust.

Answer 8

I tend to cook and my fella does the pots. As for cleaning the house it tends to get done by me - he might help sometimes but he never puts enough effort it to get it as clean as i like it.



If he has been at work and you have been at home with the kids, i certainly think that he should not have to chip in on workdays. Maybe he can help out if there is something big that needs doing over the weekend.



The kids might be like work, but it is still enjoyable and you can clean at the same time.



Even if you are part-time and he is full time i think that he should be able to get out of doing it. Its not fun being the provider.

Answer 9

My partner does help. I tend to do all the the cooking and cleaning in the week as he is at work all day. But he will entertain our daughter after work as he enjoys playing with her. At the weekend he always helps me out and most weekends he will take our daughter out for a bit so i can have an hour to myself and relax

Answer 10

he shouldn't be playing with your daughter to help you out, he should be playing with her for her sake, since she needs love and attention from both parents.



i'm a sahm. my husband plays with the kids when he's home (so do i). i do most of the housework and errands, but he does most of the yard work and all of the fixing of things that need repairing. in the evenings, when it's time to cook dinner/ clean up dishes/ etc., and also time for supervising homework/ reading to the kids/ etc. we pretty much trade off who is doing what. he probably gets the kid shift (and i the cleaning shift) slightly more often because i know the kids have had the rest of the day to be with me and the time they spend with dad is important to them. neither one of us has been sitting around doing whatever we want during the day, and neither does it at night or on weekends, either.



when i was pregnant, though, i had morning sickness from hell and could not be around food without being violently ill (for virtually the whole pregnancy). my husband did all the cooking through all my pregnancies.



i think you should talk to your husband because talking to him civilly will be way better for your marriage than harboring resentment.

Answer 11

Yes. We both work all day. Just because I'm at home parenting doesn't mean I'm not working. Besides my dh adores his daughter and rushes home so that he can play with her until bedtime.



He also helps clean if it's needed. Generally not but some things are getting harder for me to do in the last month of pregnancy.

Answer 12

Yes, he has always been my partner in everything, although he was raised by people who have very gender-specific roles in running their household. I do have to ask, he won't do it without being asked because I think he just doesn't see what needs to be done, but he is always willing. Our kids are teens now and one is out of the house, and right now we are going through a rough patch with a job relocation, but he is still available as much as he can be and always willing. I'm very lucky to have him.

Answer 13

My husband was home with the kids while I was at work, from the start (after a short maternity leave). He works overnights.



For my kids, 'mom' and 'dad' are interchangeable - we're both equally involved in their lives. And, we both trust the other to do their fair share of housework - if there's something that needs doing & you notice it & you're not too tired/busy with the kids to do it, you do it.



We're both in this family together.

Answer 14

Ive got a 3week out and my partner helped out when he was on paternity leave and now he is back to work im doin everything. he works nights so sleeps all day so im up all night and day with her n its really hard he gets a break but i don't but everytime i say something he just says he's been workin all night! grrr!!! things have got to change! we both made the baby. i think we should all tell them to help! lol. go on strike!

Answer 15

Yes my hubby is brill he helps with kids and the house. Yes they should help after work because women have either finished a fulls day work themselves or been looking after kids all day.

Answer 16

He doesn't do any housework at all. he isn't my sons real dad so i can't grumble about him not helping as much with the parenting but i work just as much, sometimes longer hours than my boyfriend and i still do all the housework, washing etc.

Answer 17

My hubby to be is fantastic. I work longer hours than he does so we share everything. I cook all meals (love cooking), clean upstairs and do all washing......he baths the kids (well youngest one) does all the ironing and cleans downstairs

Answer 18

My hubby plays with my daughter after work but he got me a cleaner so we both don't clean now so i do the beds washing food walking the dog etc (i only work 2 days).The cleaner helps us have more family time together.If we did'nt have a cleaner i would do it.

When my daughter was a baby and woke at night i always got up never my hubby he has to drive i would hate him to drive tired and being tired trying to do a job is not easy i would never do that to him.

Answer 19

My wife and I both work although I do longer hours and I do shift work. That said we share lots of the household chores between us. I tend to hoover more than she does but she irons more than me so it does balance out equally between us.

Answer 20

he helps loads our 17 month old still isn't sleeping properly so we take turns every night, he works full time and i don't as i have been diagnosed with thyroid cancer, i'm ok just bit more tired and he helps round the house loads too

Answer 21

have the talk hes the dad he didnt bond with her thats not your fault he better do it now before the preteens hit

your mil is wrong

Answer 22

The next time i help the Mooses will be the first time.

Answer 23

my ex was useless he never did a thing he left it all to me and he didnt even work

Answer 24

my hubby does help with the kids ... so its great!

Answer 25

my husband always cooks a fry up when i have cleaned the hob, its so annoying.

Answer 26

I do, my wife is disabled

Answer 27

no cos he fkd off ages ago!