Question:
My ten year old son?
medevilqueen
2006-08-31 01:04:53 UTC
My son was diagnosed with ADHD about two years ago. It olny seems to appear when he is in school, can't consintrate always needs help and can't understand verbal instruction unless repeated a few time. Show him physical intrustions and he's fine. He is very hands on kid you show him and he can repeat it. Is there anything that I can do to help him be less one on one with the teachers because they all complain that he needs to much attention from them.
Eighteen answers:
Angela
2006-08-31 07:58:05 UTC
Actually, you may want to ask your doctor about the possibility of your son having been misdiagnosed. My little brother is 12 and has Asperger's Syndrome, and was almost misdiagnosed as ADHD. He has a lot of the same symptoms you've described in your son: the hands on learning, not being able to concentrate, etc.

It also takes him a lot of time to do his work, more than twice the amount of time it would take the average child. He's very bright, he just has these troubles with school. And with Asperger's, the problems are mostly related to school, not as much at home.





I applaud you for trying to help your son's teachers, but like other people have said, that is their job. Maybe they don't have enough time during the actual class, and so they could help your son after school (if your schedule permits it).

You could also talk to your son's principal. My little brother's school has a special kind of plan that they work out for children diagnosed with disabilities such as ADHD and Asperger's. I think it's called something like a 504 plan in his school, and basically, the teachers, the school's psychiatrist, and the principal sit down together and come up with a strategy fpr helping the child to get through the school year. For example, with the verbal vs physical instructions, for an assignment, they would say, "Okay, well he needs to have them on paper in front of him, so the teachers will have to type up or write out instructions for the assignments to give to him when they give the assignment." This way, everyone's on the same page as far as what's going on and what special exceptions need to be made for him. This will also help because the teachers will be in communication about him, and they can "compare notes" so to speak, and let you know if there's any kind of common problem that he needs help with and they can help him. I think this is a great thing.



My brother also goes to a therapist once a week, and sometimes, she talks to my mom and not my brother. This is because with any disorder such as ADHD or Asperger's, you're treating a whole family, not just the child. She gives my mom some tips for helping with it and some things she can do at home for him.



I don't know if every school has something like this, but I do know that it's worked wonders for my whole family, and perhaps it's something worth looking into. My husband was diagnosed with ADHD as a child, and because he needed too much attention from the teachers, they wanted to put him into Special Ed classes - he was very bright, they just didn't want to deal with him. This type of plan with the school helps to keep tha sort of thing from happening.



I hope this helps - Good luck to you and your son.
Jim S
2006-08-31 01:14:57 UTC
Who diagnosed him? Was it just some teacher or school counselor giving you his/her opinion?



There are lots of things that look like ADHD. Some are worse, some are really nothing and can be easily corrected. Talk to you pediatrician about options. If it really is ADHD, see a psychiatrist. And even if its not, talk to someone who can give youe expert advice onhis behavior. There could very well be environmental factors, especially since it happens only at school.



Someone mentioned medication. Yes, they can help sometimes, and other times the side effects are way worse than the original problem. They might be the answer, but you need to be careful. If a doctor insists that medication is the solution, or if you try it unsuccessfully and the doctor just wants to up the dose, get a different doctor.
marilee w
2006-08-31 01:24:01 UTC
my oldest son was diagnosed with that at 6 years old. First know there is a law about children with disabilities against descrimination. He will have to be supplied with what ever he needs to learn with the new law no child left behind. He needs a after school tutor usually an older student. This worked very well with my son. They were letting him get very far behind and he did not qualify for special education classes. The state came down and they tested him and the school got in a lot of trouble because he was too far behind and they had to help him catch up to grade level. This sometimes meant giving him oral instructions. He did not do well with written instructions on paper or on the board. Do your homework, read up on this, they are disabled and by laws they have rights that can not be violated without consequences. good luck.
drie_tierney
2006-08-31 07:35:16 UTC
I would have him reevaluated. If he has no problems outside of school it may be a different problem. With add boys they are usually very impulsive, which you did not mention. Seek out services to help you, call DMH and ask if they can suggest anything. Give his teacher the book "Indigo Children". Try a montessori school if you can afford it. Or, If you have the utmost patience, homeschool, noone knows him better than you and don't forget that. If someone wants to put him on meds and uit just doesn't feel right, Don't do it. But if you feel that it is the right thing for him it Can do wonders. Try all the different meds until you find the one that works best, be carefull to make sure he eats properly on them, you may have to force him to eat on some of them. You can also try a low sugar and all natural diet, as well as omega-3 fish oil pills(available at the pharmacy or supermarket)
Ice4444
2006-08-31 01:10:23 UTC
I'm in the medical profession and I'm the wrong person to comment but I will. There are way too many kids being drugged for this. 85% of the ADHD meds in the world are taken in the U.S.



Isn't it funny that he doesnt' have it when he's playing doing something fun or doing video games. Only in school where kids don't want to do anything; it's not fun. It's very selective.



Many kids also do not get enough sleep. They need a good 9-10 hours a night and some kids get 4-6 hours a night and are zombies. They are finally doing medical studies showing that sleeping problems play a huge role and may be the problem instead of ADHD.



My staff of 24 took the test for ADHD as a joke. ALL of us qualified for treatment and medication. Dr Phil said it best; it's the most overdiagnosed and overtreated thing in the world.



First make sure your kid gets enough sleep and if he needs to get him a tutor. Nothing against you but it's funny how kids dont' need to be shown twice on how to learn how to play video games or do things online but in school they can't learn. Good luck.
dhalia_1977
2006-08-31 01:10:46 UTC
Oh gee, I just love how these teachers think they're psychiatrists. I went through the same crap as a kid. Don't let the doctors put him on meds. Try as many natural approaches as you can.

Diet change, supplements, etc. Make sure to avoid caffeine.



Honestly, I would consult an herbalist. Since he doesn't have the problems at home (which I didn't either), it sounds like an environmental issue at school. I'll bet if you were to test your son's I.Q. he'd be above average. Many kids in this situation suffer from boredom, not disadvantage. Contact me if you'd like more info :)
ICUNiteNurse
2006-08-31 01:38:21 UTC
First off, ADD and ADHD are massively over-diagnosed. Unless your child has had a complete workup from a trained Psychologist including an IQ test and 2-3 other specialized tests measuring motor skills...etc. they haven't been diagnosed properly. On a lark, I went into a physician, complained that I thought I had ADD and wanted to be tested for it. I was handed a questionnaire, filled in the blanks I thought I should and walked out of the office with pharmaceutical grade methamphetamine...Drugstore Crank. I did this because my 7 year old was struggling in school and I wanted to see if the doctor was as flippant as the teacher was in wanting everyone to be drugged and zombie-like in the classroom. Our solution was to enroll our kids in a "Multiple Intelligences" academy where each child is assessed to see where in the 6 recognized methods of learning they fell. My youngest learns musically. in her other school, she couldn't spell "blue'. At this place, she came home and spelled "responsibility" at the end of week one. Know why? the teacher let her do it as a cheer...like a cheerleader. Now I realize that there isn't a Multiple Intelligences school everywhere, but if you Google it, you will find sites and articles about the Harvard Professor who pioneered the idea. Also, Enota Elementary School, Gainesville GA has a great website. That's the school my children attended.

Another thought...ADD, ADHD and Giftedness in kids often have the same presentation. In a world where there are of the 25 or more kids in a classroom, young and inexperienced teachers, budget cuts for gifted programs, little to no time for recess, gym and creative outlets like art...etc. you're going to have stir-crazy kids and overwhelmed teachers. Combine that with the high carb, over processed, sugar and chemical laden lunches the school system serves your kids...hello?

Now, the drugs they want to hand you for your child...stunt their growth, affect their sleep patterns , dehydrate their little bodies and in worst case scenarios...have been liked to sudden death in a group of children in Canada, due to heart issues. As adults, ADD meds have also been linked to "Sudden Death" form coronary episodes. Less than a week ago on CNN. The previous info on the kids was given to me from a physician I work with off of a teletype she gets when she prescribes.

Have the IQ test done. My youngest had an IQ of almost 140...after being put in gifted studies where she was with all ages and grades for an hour a day, allowed to learn in her own method and encouraged to use the mental "tricks"" like silently singing her spelling words...(remember schoolhouse rock on Saturday mornings? That's how I learned the preamble to the constitution...) She is now in the 5th grade, drug free for over 2 years and an honor student. I have to help a lot with the homework...I have also been blessed enough to be in a city where my kids can go to any school in the district, so I have done my homework and figured out the school closest to my home is not the best for my kid. So, I drive her 6 miles to another one. I meet and talk to the teachers. I am actively involved and work with the he teachers to develop ways to keep her on track for things like timed tests...we use a digital kitchen timer so she knows how much time has gone by. in a 5 minute test, if she can't think of her multiplication answers in 5 seconds...she skips to the next one before the time runs out. Before, she would get stuck on the one she didn't know and the rest would be blank...The difference between a"B" and an"F". Lots of kids outgrow this stuff too...it's called the lack of imagination that hits us as we become adults. your child is being a child...not a zombie.
a parent hows been there !!
2006-08-31 01:20:34 UTC
hi there again just wrote to you about youre little girl ........youre kidding right they have gone through all there training to become a teacher and help educate the future of this world and just because youre little boy needs some extra help at this time in life ,they are COMPLAINING !!!!! i would not be removing any help that youre son needs but i be telling them a few home truths like ,this school is fully aware of what help he needs and that youre son is entitled to all this help !! and to get on with there job and if they dont like it id be telling them to go and get another job and see how they would like that .....keep all the help that youre son has as one day in the future he might not need it ,thats disgusting that people how work with kids dont have the time for them ,oh i wish i had a contact number for this ,id go nuts at the lot of them ,as you can see this drives me nuts .....youre son needs this !! tell them to pi** off !! you take care xx
maofethyn
2006-08-31 01:17:36 UTC
try procydin. its a herbal alternative to the stronger meds the teachers like to drug the kids with (cuz they dont have the patience or willingness to give a bit of extra attention to the kids who neeed them) and it had a lot of other good properties. my 10 year old cousin is on it and its done wonders (she was terrible, but highly intelligent). also if finding a school for a 'special needs' kid is difficult, homeschooling is a good option. when i say 'special needs' i don't mean that he is slow, but merely learns in an unconventioanl way. there are some private schools who teach differently o accomodate gifted children who need that but of extra care, but they are pricey.
jennifersuem
2006-08-31 01:17:33 UTC
Have them develop a IEP - Individualized Education Plan for him.



Have them get a Paraprofessional for him in the classroom!



That is their JOB to TEACH! Don't let them COMPLAIN about your son and his needs. They have to adjust to his illness! Talk with the Principal and School Board about this matter.
anonymous
2006-08-31 03:00:10 UTC
ma you tell those teachers to bad that's what there for maybe hit up a website about it to see if maybe you could give the teachers some advice on helping him if they still complain take it up with the principle tell him/her that there singling out your son and that's why maybe he does what he does. You said at home he is fine. hope that helps :)
?
2006-08-31 01:11:48 UTC
my cousin has same problem with her son, he is about your son age. he has a teacher home for private lessons and she took him to a specialist every summer. He is a very smart and wonderful guy but at school he is not so much improving. i will ask her about him and send mail to u if she has something important to tell about...
"IRonIC" by Alanis
2006-08-31 01:35:21 UTC
Some people would suggestion medication. I had a roommate in college that would take Ritalin. He was always popping those things like Skittles.



Personally, I don't believe people should rely on medication. I think the reason why medication is used as a solution is because people don't know how to develop a system.



The way that physicians prescribe medication to solve people's problems would be like a physician prescribing medication to cure an unruly dog or animal that is misbehaving.



If people used repeated medication as a solution on a dog, you'd have animal rights activists all over. Some would even accuse the dog owner of "laziness" for not wanting to take the time to train the animal.



Although people find it distasteful to compare humans to animals, psychology can apply. Forgive the reference of comparing your son to a dog, but dogs have short attention spans.



Dog owners are taught that when the dog does something bad, you don't wait till 12 or 24 hours to get angry with the dog. The dog will just get confused and not understand what it is that it did wrong. That's partially related to a short attention span.



- When it comes to training dogs, you use repetition

- Trained pigeons that are taught all kinds of tricks are taught through repetition

- Trained dolphins are taught by repetition



I'm a Sales Trainer and have written Training Manuals for people. You have to explain things to people simply and use repetition.



There's a funny example they use in the book "The One Minute Manager":



When it comes to training a dolphin that is able to hop through hoops, do 5 back flips, and then some acrobatic stunt at Sea World, they didn't learn that all at once.



The dolphin trainers didn't go out in the middle of the sea, hold out a hoop, wait for a dolphin to just hop out of the water, and exclaim, "Oh, that's the one we want! Let's get that one!"



They took a dolphin and trained it in steps. They went little by little until the dolphin followed and was rewarded.



I would assume that even though your child, as well as any child that has ADHD, is smarter than a trained pigeon and a trained dolphin.



That being said, you can apply the same type of training for your child where you teach him little by little to do things.



It's a matter of breaking down what you want him to learn little by little. Start off with those instructions at home.



Set up an Incentive and Rewards Plan where you have him read a book for 5 minutes. When he is able to read a book and follow those instructions for 5 minutes, reward him with that.



Then you change the time to 10 minutes. When he finally accomplishes that feat, you reward him. If he doesn't, then you make him do the task over again showing him he'll be rewarded once he hits that 10 minute mark. Then you go to 15 minutes and keep doing it until he accomplishes that. Then you do 20, 30, 40, and 50.



Keep a record of those accomplishments on your refrigerator.



1) Ask the teachers in his class what assignments that are commonly assigned to the class

2) Sit down at home and find a way to break down the tasks into easy to follow steps

3) Sit down with your child and practice those steps rewarding him each time he succeeds in following directions. If he fails, make him repeat the step

4) Make the incentive or reward system clear so that you'll understand how the Game works



This will allow your child to stretch his mind.



One of the other unfortunate things about labeling people with ADHD is that people can't help but discriminate against the child thinking that he's totally helpless or mentally handicapped.



That's not necessarily the case. It's just that his attention span is low because he's had distractions or it's from malnutrition where he's eating or drinking the wrong things that are making him hyper or where his mind is fuzzy.



Animals are smart. They just need someone to give them a plan.



Same with children that have ADHD. I still firmly believe that medication is a waste of money. If your child is acting up or hyper, you work with and train your child to learn how to sit still for 5 minutes... then 10 minutes... then 15... etc.



When they fail to do so, you either remove a privilege for them not following directions or you reward them for completing that task. Animals understand this, which is why pigeons are rewarded with bird seed and dolphins are rewarded with fish.



What does your child like to do? What does he like to eat? Set up a Reward or Incentive System for your child to follow.



As I said, most parents don't have a book or instruction manual that teaches them this stuff. So when they go to the doctor, the doctor puts them on medication.



When the parents of children with ADHD go to school, the teachers aren't prepped or taught how to properly train children.



My mom was a Remedial English Teacher at the High School Level for 28 years. One of the things she disliked was how regular English Teachers would shove unruly or problematic students in her Remedial English Class.



There was nothing wrong with them. They may have had short attention spans or were disruptive, but there was nothing wrong with their mind.



If your child can follow instructions and has strong rote memory, you can play up to those strengths as a parent by giving him step by step instructions that slowly wean him from being dependent on others.



As things are now, he's got "Psychological Training Wheels" on his Intellectual Bicycle, but he has strong Intellectual Legs. Eventually you can remove the Training Wheels. He just needs to be taught how to Intellectually Pedal consistently to gain that momentum and ride off of his own speed rather than requiring an Adult or Teacher to continually supervise him.



People joke about how Video Games in the 1980s influenced Culture. Kids who are prescribed Medication are like Pac-Man and the Ritalin or drugs prescribed are like Power Pellets that they have to eat to go chase after Ghosts before the effect wears off. The Power Pellet would be the Ritalin or medication wearing off.



I think it's unfortunate when doctors reduce a child's life down to Video Game.
anonymous
2006-08-31 01:17:20 UTC
well first of all, its kind of their job to do the one on one thing with him... but its great that you are trying to help out the teachers. medication, i have heard, works wonders. you could have him only take it on school days... good luck tho.
Boo Boo
2006-08-31 01:09:36 UTC
medication - i have heard from people with kids with ADHD that it works wonders - you dont want him falling behind



i am sure there are support groups on the net somewhere that might be able to assist with natural therapies if you are against medication
Stinkey S
2006-08-31 01:17:13 UTC
Home school him? At the same time, he needs to be exposed to the other kids to help him get used to them...
julie
2006-08-31 01:10:20 UTC
I suggest hire a tutor and teach your son at home.If choosing that,you have to know he will need his friends and you mustn't separate them.Maybe you can talk to te teachers and they can treat him condenscendingly
poison_ivy_sam
2006-08-31 03:00:58 UTC
get him to a child doc

it can be handled


This content was originally posted on Y! Answers, a Q&A website that shut down in 2021.
Loading...