Are you truly non-judgmental enough to be friends/friendly with someone who is completely different than you?

Question

Maybe even has completely different ways of thinking and beliefs than you. Are you mature enough and non-jusgmental enough to handle that? Is anyone? Do you know people who are or aren't able to handle that?
my o an dI were talking abut this very subject adn it got me thinking..........

Answer 1

Yup! We have family friends who are COMPLETELY opposite of us in terms of politics. They have so much money it’s insane and her children have been born with a silver spoon in their mouths. We love them to pieces. We grew up with them. Our parents are best friends.



But in regards to politics and certain beliefs, holy goodness, we can’t be anymore different or think any more opposite.



One of the girls posted a blog recently that I personally found SOOOO offensive. I love this girl like a sister, and we learn to not debate because we both think our way is right. And it’s actually something that just don’t discuss. We each have our opinions and we leave it at that.



Some things we can laugh about in regards to different beliefs but other topics are touchy. So we just don’t discuss and we respect that.



I personally am not religious but I don’t hold it against someone if they are. As long as they don’t hold it against me that I’m not. I have my stances on abortion and education and parenting and someone else will have theirs. If you can respectfully debate in your friendship, rock on! If you can’t, then learn to avoid it but respect each other’s opinions.



Sometimes it’s really hard, other times it’s not.



** ADD **

Carrie, that’s because online, it’s totally different. People hide behind the computer whereas in real life, it’s not as easy to debate about things. My opinion of course!

Answer 2

Nope. If my friends don't mirror me in every way I get new friends. I actually have a small army of clones now because I couldn't find anyone else to mimic my every opinion. Lol. No, I can handle it if my friends are different than me. If we disagree on things that are really explosive we avoid those subjects. I think having contacts who are different is a good example too. I mean you and I are vastly different in a lot of our beliefs but I love to read your answers and see what your perspective is. I don't mind the occasional brawl either. You can call me a bad, irresponsible parent and I can say you are a self-righteous git. We can be friends again on the next question. I am guilty of thumbs downing ppl who give out info I KNOW to be factually wrong or just insult ppl and don't really answer the question but not just for disagreeing.

Answer 3

A lot depends on how well you can get along despite differences. If you can agree to disagree, that's great.



However, If a person is involved with stuff that is completely against your beliefs and principles, how can you remain friends with them without completely compromising your values?



Example? I'm 100% against drugs. I say that with no apologies. Therefore, I could NEVER be friends with anyone whom I know is a recreational drug user, an addict or anyone who is involved in the drug trade. That doesn't make me "immature" or "judgmental." It makes me honest...and smart enough to stay away from potential trouble! Why should I risk being someplace with this person if and when a cop comes to arrest people and then I get busted for being in the room too, despite not partaking in the activity? Most laws are written to where EVERYONE in the room gets busted...even the 'innocent' ones.

Answer 4

A lot of my friends are very different then I am when it comes to parenting and anything for that matter. When it comes to certain things I just am not a believer in or would ever do they are the ones to do it. I never try to judge anybody and I do try to get along with everybody as much as possible. Granted I do tend to butt heads from time to time but that is only really with two people that I just could not stand from the moment I meet them and sadly I disagree with EVERYTHING they do. I wish I didn't, but they are just one of those people that rub you the wrong way.

Answer 5

I have alot of people in my life with completely different ways of thinking, and alot of the time we will bicker, but that's what keeps things interesting and how I learn things.

I enjoy other peoples thoughts, but i can be very stubborn..



But I think even though I have those people who are so different, we do have SOME similarities, either in the things we enjoy, or music.

Music is what brings alot of people together from all different angles.



But I can say there were instances where a subject sensitive came up and I can recall one time, that I was not very mature, and I havent spoke to that person since.

Answer 6

Definitely! This world is full of so many amazingly different people, I feel sorry for those who are too judgemental to accept difference in their lives.



I have a very good friend who is a muslim and though we have different political and religious beliefs, I still respect her views and listen to her opinion and vice verse.



Variety makes life so much more interesting, embrace it don't fight it!

Answer 7

Sometimes in life you have to be friendly with people who have very different views than you. My mother in law is a Republican, overly opinionated, hypocritcial, and pessimistic. All complete opposite attributes than me (Democrat, open minded, fair, optimistic and even tempered). I will admit that it sucks the strength out of me to have extended conversations with her, but I know she can't change who she is anymore than I can change how I am. We're family.



On the other hand if you mean being social with people who have different views i'll admit it's tough. Friends are friends for a reason, because they have something in common. But if you mean lifestyle differences those are easy enough to accept if your open minded. Like having a friend who is gay. Even having a friend who has a different economic status (richer or poorer) than you can be worked out if both sides have something else in common.

Answer 8

In certain cases yes.. But honestly it depends on where the difference is.. For instance a woman who allows guys to run in and out of her house/life in front of her children and I would just not get along, someone who abuses their children and I would just not get along, and someone who is into drugs or is an alcoholic...I would not get along with!

Other than that, I can pretty much see both sides to a coin, even if I don't agree with the other side!

Answer 9

yes i can. unfortunately, most people i know who differ from me (btw - i have a very small world outside of the internet) are very forthright about their opinions and views being the only way. thats when i have a hard time interacting with people of different views but then its not the difference of opinion that makes it hard to be friends its their communication skills.

i personally enjoy a mature discussion with varying sides (one of the reasons i enjoy this site - with certain people - texasmomma comes to mind). i'm not simple enough to believe my way is the only way. i like exploring the "opposition" so to speak. besides i might learn something.

Answer 10

Most of the people I surround myself with think and believe the same way I do. It is comforting and uplifting when you need support.



I do however have a couple of friends who do not believe the same, and vote the opposite way of me. We find our connections and enjoy our time together, but we will never be as close as my other friends.



I don't dislike people that are unlike me, but why would I spend time with people that support causes I oppose... or why would I encourage my children to learn from people who practice a lifestyle I think is innappropriate? We welcome people that are different into our lives, and we treat them with the same respect as our close friends, but they just don't fit into our lifestyle as well as those who are like us.



*best example: We are Catholic and we go to mass every Sunday at 8:00. You won't find us hanging out with our non-Christian friends until odd hours on Saturday nights... because we have a committment to get up for and they don't. Doesn't mean we don't invite them to bday parties... but we just don't routinely hang out together.

Answer 11

yes. my husband and i are both christians and are very friendly with one of my husbands coworkers' who claims to be an atheist. the only reason i wouldnt call him a friend, or even my husbands friend, is because the only time we speak with each other is when i see him at my husbands workplace and work related events. i dont see why people cant love, be friendly towards, everyone. regardless of their beliefs or how different they are. now, realize i didnt say you have to hang out with people who are completely different than you, i mean honestly, if i had absolutely not one common intrest with someone i probably wouldnt want to hang out with them too much only because it would be very boring for both of us! but i would still be friendly toward that person. i dont see any point in displaying hatred or unkindness toward anyone.

Answer 12

i do no longer provide a hoot approximately bugs. they're fairly merely little, tremendously complicated robots. they do no longer actually have a significant frightened gadget, and so as that they are incapable of concept, emotions in the experience that vertebrates sense, soreness, etc. I recommend, while you are going to agonize approximately bugs then you definately'll might desire to hassle approximately showering because of the little mites that stay on your pores and skin or on your hair. you have gotta draw the line someplace. And, residing in a brand ny city house if I had a issue with exterminators my house could be genuinely overrun and then i might on no account get a woman buddy.

Answer 13

I will certainly make the effort as long as the person isn't so totally opposite me that they are offensive or destructive. I'm perfectly capable of agreeing to disagree with someone and making a mental note to avoid that topic from here on out.

Answer 14

Absolutely i have friends of many colors, religious beliefs, morals and much more. that does not mean i have to be them, but do not judge unless you want to be judged. also you can learn things you may of never known or thought about. i think thats what makes the world what it is. It would be boring if we all thought the same. so i say open your heart you never know what will go in there.

Answer 15

i might be able to be friendly with someone like that. probably not friends, though.



*shoot, it seemed like a good answer but i was beaten to it. hate when that happens.



*eta -- i can be friends, and am friends, with people who don't share my politics, or my religion, or something. i can't imagine being friends with someone who doesn't share my basic ethics, however.



*thanks carrie. i feel the same way. but yeah, after a year or so on this board i'm confident in answering that it's calling for more maturity than some people have.

Answer 16

Yes. I am anti-abortion %100, and about 6 years ago a friend of mine had one. I didn't exactly support her, I told her my feelings on it, but after realizing that there was nothing I could do to change her mind, I just dealt with it. I have friends with completely different beliefs,and we sit for hours "debating" with each other. But, it's all for fun. My opinions are not worth losing a good friend. I am friends with people based on how they treat me.

Answer 17

Yes and I have/do. I have quite a few friends/acquaintances that believe a lot of things differently than I do. We just put our differences aside when together and enjoy the things we have in common.



I do know a lot of people who can't handle that though.

Answer 18

i am mature enough to remain respect, friendly and polite to people who has completely different way of thinking than me; however, they can never be my close friends. Example is me and my in laws, we are from totally different world, eventho i call her "mom" and we are happy when seeing each other, i will never consider them as a "friends".

Answer 19

Yes! I had this really close friend who was the complete opposite of me- I use to be like "I really hate people like you, I have no idea why I love you so much!"- we'd always joke about it!

Answer 20

Oh yes.



Would you believe me if I told you that one of my very good friends is a 60 year old schizophrenic?



And I can't leave out my mother

Answer 21

I am and do.