why does my son that is 22 monthes old whine all the time?

Question

my son cryes when i leave his side. he wont let any one watch him. he whines a lot too. if he doesnt get exactly what he wants he throughs the biggest tantrums. why does he do this? how do i change this?

Answer 1

Lemme guess, he follows you around like a little duckling and cries when you shut the door to the bathroom to pee. This sounds really very normal. He LOVES YOU! Don't be mean to him out of frustration. Love him back, snuggle him a lot, but to resolve this issue of whining and tantrums, ignore it. Do not give in to his tantrums, and get him distacted before you leave him with other people with a toy or video, and then sneak out. He will eventually get used to this, and stick with one person to watch him if possible. Is there a possibility someone mistreated him while he was being baby sat? That could be causing a lot of his fears of being left with other people.

Answer 2

Welcome to the terrific two's. Just know your child is normal. Leave him with a friend tell him you'll be back. Leave for 2 minutes come back make a big to do. Kisses Hugs the whole bit. Leave again, go for a little walk around the block, do the big to do again, are you starting to see the pattern here? He's going to cry let him it's his prerogative. Do this a few more times. Eventually he'll get that you are going and coming back. Think about it logically for a moment. He doesn't know where you are going when you leave so how does he know you are coming back.



As far as the tantrums CONSISTENCY do not give in. It is all about outlasting him. You are the adult. Just because you are busy, one day you let him play with something you told him he couldn't play with before, you are not being consitant and that child knows thaT IF HE WHINES LONG ENOUGH OR CATCHES YOU ON THE PHONE HE WILL EVENTUALLY GET WHAT HE WANTS. It's hard I know I have a son he did all those things too. I tried alot of things but these things worked for me. Good Luck and bless you, terrific two's are challanging.

Answer 3

These are two similar problems I think. The answer here is a question for you:

DOES IT WORK?

If he EVER wins a battle by whining or crying or throwing a tantrum..you just bought yourself another 10 battles. When it works, even once in a while, they remember that and pull that arrow out of their mental quiver, and use it. Don't give in. Be firm and be CONSISTENT. Are you consistent? Do you set CLEAR boundaries (Mommy is in the kitchen. You may either watch tv or read this book.) and then STICK TO THEM? Sounds like he knows how to push you around.

Answer 4

Does he have older siblings/cousins/neighbors who may have "shown" him this? If not that, then he just wants what he wants and doesn't know how to express it. Does he seem intelligent? If so, it could be that he doesn't quite know how to ask for what he wants and is frustrated.



Parenting requires patience, and when he whines, you'll have to let him know (in a soothing and calm voice) that he can't have everything he wants. Get used to explaining things this way because he'll learn to trust you to at least try to provide the necessary answers to all his questions. But give him a hug, too - he's so young right now and doesn't realize why he can't have what he wants. But if he's mad about not getting something he shouldn't have, *do not give in to him.*



I know all this seems to be "easier said than done," but a parent's *obligation* to his/her children is to provide love, food, clothing, shelter, and *guidance.* "Guidance" isn't about giving a kid orders and showing who's boss - it's about providing discipline, boundaries, behavior parameters, and general ideas on problem-solving. If you show him that you're going to be consistent, he's going to more quickly learn where you stand on things and won't have to guess. Be firm but fair, and you should realize that if he's throwing fits now, it's going to take an indeterminate amount of time to correct that. Again, patience is a *must.*

Answer 5

I had a son exactly the same way. Your son is starting the terrible 2's early. It is the frustration of not being able to tell you what he wants when he wants it. He wants so bad for you to understand him, but you can't get it yet, because the language is not clear. Please be patient, stay away from the riddilun and it will pass and you will have a beautiful relationship with him. I feel for you, because I was there. They told me to put him on drugs, because my son threw a tantrum at the wrong glass for his drink, but I stuck it out, and am I glad. Your son is strong willed, and very intelligent, and you need both those attributes to make it in this world. Be grateful and stick it out, it WILL PASS.

Answer 6

Both of my daughters were very dependent and clingy from around 2 to 2 and a half. I really don't think it's anything you've done wrong as a parent, it's just the age when children discover seperation anxiety. If he doesn't grow out of it with in 6 months to a year, I'd tell your doctor about it, but I think it's just a natural growing pain.

Answer 7

He does this because you allwo him to. I know it sounds harsh,m but if you stop giving in to his whining and tantrums he will stop throwing them. Try spending tiem with him with the person you are leaving him with then try leaving for shorter periods of time.



As for his tantrums, I firmly believe in spanking, but if you dont then put him ion tiem out for having his littel git, or let him ahve it and completely IGNORE him the entire time. Expalin to him that you cant understand him when he whines adn that you only understand him when he talks like a big boy, giving him incetive to speak to you in a proper tone

Answer 8

One thing I've noticed on the nanny shows on television is that some children don't know how to communicate what they want or what's bothering them, so they communicate through physical violence, tantrums, etc. If you encourage them to use their words to explain how they feel and reward them for expressing themselves in words, they might feel that their communicative needs are better met and stop throwing tantrums.

Answer 9

the big question is, when did you begin to discipline him? its not to late to start if you haven't started. when he throws a tantrum at home, walk away. if its in the store, take him to the car and sit there silently until he quits. now the whole not wanting to be without you, he will get over it after a while, drop him off at the sitters and leave. it is called tough love and its hard, but it has to be done before he runs all over you.Good luck!

Answer 10

You have to put your foot down. Let him know that you are the boss by not giving into everything that he wants. You don't have to beat him or punish him he is only a baby but you will have to be firm with him and learn how to say NO.

Answer 11

Do you give him what he wants all the time? Do you let him do what he wants all the time? If you answer yes to any of these questions then there is your answer. You allow him to throw these tantrums.

Answer 12

He needs quality time. Children at this age need someone who will spend time doing things with them, and they are most used to Mommy. Spend some time playing with him, then work with him

near. Slowly wean him away.



Can you get some regular to take care of him, as kids take time to get attached to people. It could your mom, or anyone. You'd have to be consistent, it could be a daycare centre. Give the kid some time to get used to the person.



Please do not hit him, you will only increase his sense of insecurity. He does not need to be spanked.

Answer 13

Mommy? You really can't change this. Not for a while anyway. Your little dude is going through an expected stage...separation anxiety. He doesn't understand that when you are out of sight, you are not really totally gone. It takes some babies longer than others to get over this but they do. One of the last things in a babies body and self to develop is their memory and emotions. It sounds like his little bitty emotions are truly seating themselves in his itty bitty persona. His little emotions are showing that he misses his very loving mommy or daddy when they are not in his plain sight. That used to make me feel so loved and wanted when mine would cry for me like that. I'm selfish sometimes lol.



Tantrums? He is well on his way to the terrific two's. His emotions are now coming in strong. He is exhibiting age appropriate behavior dear and hold on tight for your rollercoaster ride for the next year or so with him. When my temperamental babies would exhibit such emotional, unfavorable behavior, I would gently grab them, sit down indian style on the floor and hold them with my loving arms wrapped tightly around them (and my legs too), and stroke their sweet little upset faces and coo gently into their little ears and let them know, "I'm going to hold you tight until you feel better because I love you so much and I feel sad when you are sad, ok?" I would hold them and rock them until they calmed down. It truly is all you can do to calm them down. Just remember, they are only babies. They are new at this life and every stage they go through is usually age appropriate stages that we, as parents, need to expect and know to arm ourselves with enough compassion and love to get us all through it with happy well adjusted kids as our reward. Be patient Mommy. This too, (with love, patience & knowledge) will pass. Good luck Mommy!

Answer 14

all kids cry went there dad and/or mum lev even wen there at someones place that thay now.

dont give in to you child wen thay are having tantrums becoz then thaynow that you are woching and that you may give in dont want you child to now that you may thats all i can say if he dose not stop smack him and tell him dont give in DONT GIVE IN

Answer 15

you have to just let him cry sometimes..he has to learn now that crying isn't how he gets things and mommy has stuff to do..it will be really hard but you must buckle down and do it let him cry after a short but consistant while of doing that and not giving in..he will learn.

Answer 16

Sounds like separation anxiety.

Answer 17

maybe he is still getting teeth in, be patient, i know its tough but just love him. PS take him to docs

Answer 18

coz hes spoiled

Answer 19

because he is in pain