babysitter question, found 2 kids doing something nasty?

Question

ok so i picked up my son this friday from the babysitter's house and she had a boy and a girl in time out because the boy had pulled down another boy's shorts and was touching his pee pee and the little girl walked in on them and was in shock so the boy who pulled the shorts down blamed everything on her so the sitter put them both in time out. The sitter told me not to worry she would watch them all the time, even if shes cookin or something she goes to check on them every 2 minutes. What should I do? By the way the boy that had pulled down the other boy's shorts had his pee pee out, we dont knwo what the hell they were doing, but the sitter said shed talk to their parents.

Answer 1

this kind of curious exploration is very very common with little kids actually. its usually not more than the kids wanting to know if someone has what they have. it's not necessarily appropriate to characterize their actions as 'nasty'. studies show that over 40% of kids under 10 masturbate and have played a bit of show and tell with peers--it's not necessarily some sort of sexual expression. the sitter should let the parents know what's going on so that the parents can deal with it appropriately. kids are naturally curious, try not to worry too much.

Answer 2

It is a natural concern, but children are EXTREMELY curious and they don't realize that that is a taboo behavior. I teach pre-school and luckily this does not occur often. The most important thing to remember is that if you freak out and make a huge deal of it, there can be major issues later in life....I am by NO MEANS taking a oh pooh, pooh attitude...The children have got to understand that that is a private area and that displaying their body or pulling another childs clothing down is unexceptable behavior, is very disrespectfull and that it will not be tolerated. If after you explain this to the child or children and it then occurs again...more disciplinary measures must be followed.



NEVER, NEVER hold back in telling or informing the involved parent(s) about any occurances such as you witnessed. If a parent is informed by a child, then you've got problems...they will wonder why they were not told by the adult in attendance and also wonder what is being hidden from them....THEN you've got major trouble (in an other-wise innocent curiosity exploration of a child)! Make sure that children are not left un-supervised for an extended period of time!!!

Answer 3

Little kids do that stuff, so that part of it isn't necessarily a big deal. Still, if they're - like -three or four and your child is still only a year-old I'm not sure I'd like having my baby with older kids.



The other thing that occurs to me is this: Why is the babysitter "cooking or something" when she's got a few very young children to be watching, particulary your one-year-old?



What the little kids was natural and understandable for their age (most likely, although occasionally some kid pays a little more attention to that stuff than is normal); but I don't like the idea of the babysitter's needing to promise she'll "check on them every two minutes". In a preschool this kind of stuff doesn't generally go on because the children are in the presence of a preschool worker/teacher at all times.



I'm not even sure I like the idea of her doing time out for this particular thing. They weren't fighting. I'm not sure she shouldn't have just authoritatively announced, "No. We aren't having that kind of stuff going on here" and directed the children to a more wholesome activity.



Any older children and any baby/toddler don't necessarily belong together in certain circumstances.



Any children may come up with this kind of idea - yours may too in another three years or so.



There's something about the set-up you have that doesn't quite sit well with me, but for no reason other than - maybe - the mix of kids or the mix of kids combined with the "cooking" thing. Preschool children often bring easy meals, and the children all help set up placemats and set the table while an adult may microwave a lunch. The babysitter shouldn't be cooking dinner for her own family while the children are there, and how much cooking should be involved with lunch for the children?



I don't blame her (necessarily) for the incident, but anyone who knows children and who takes seriously the idea that a babysitter has to watch the children of someone else, would have known not to let the opportunity arise for that type of incident.

Answer 4

From the sounds of things the kids are quite young still. Children between 2-6 become interested and aware of their bodies more and curiosity abounds. It's actually fairly normal to find boys touching themselves or each other out of simple curiosity at this age. While it may seem disturbing and scary for a parent or babysitter it is VERY important to not overreact and scold the children. Doing so could cause harm to their developing ides of self and their bodies. I suggest all of the parents talk via phone and make sure they understand who did what and who saw and then take time to discuss the body and it's diffeent parts in child appropriate terms. If you are not sure what is appropriate call your pediatrician's office. They hear calls from parents all the time and can offer the best age appropriate approach for the human body and the child's normal curosity.



They should understand their parts, what they are for and what is considered appropriate and non appropriate for touching anyone or being touched without causing shame or embarassment which could affect them emotionally later in life.

Answer 5

I would look for a new babysitter . Doesn't sound like the babysitter you have to it to serious . That would drive me crazy not knowing what happened to your son . Has he said anything about the incident or is he not old enough to talk . Either way find a new sitter .

Answer 6

I'd trust the sitter unless something else goes on then I'll find another sitter but kids do strange stuff all the time

Answer 7

It's not the babysitters fault. Kids actually do this all the time because they are curious and don't understand that it is not right. You need to sit down and talk to your son about it being wrong and why. You don't need to get into the whole birds and bees talk, simplify it for him so that he knows not to do it.

Answer 8

depends on the age of the kids, most kids before there 5 like to explore there body and this is very natural. he might have been embarrsed when the girl walked in on them and that is why he blamed it on her. if your son knew of this and has quastions about it just explan it to him that if wants to explre his body to do it in a private area. like i said this is very normal and nothing for you to worry about.

Answer 9

Find another babysitter!