Did I do the right thing ?

Question

I was in ikea with my 2 year old daughter earlier today and she started having a tantrum by the till because I wouldn't buy her chocolates. The lady in the queue in front of me turned and said to her friend "What a spoilt brat" I told her to mind her own business and the reason my daughter was crying was because I didn't give into her demands not because she's spoilt. I'm normally not rude and I would never answer someone back (I haven't got the guts) did I do the right thing and defend myself ?

What do you think ?

Answer 1

I don't blame you for saying what you did. Well done for not giving in to your child's tantrum. They all have them and it's easy to give in for a quiet life! That woman was extremely rude for calling your child a spoilt brat, she should have apologised to you for what she said.

Answer 2

You did the right thing - both by not giving in, and by telling the ignorant woman to mind her own business. ALL toddlers have tantrums every now and then, and I'll bet that woman has never spent more than a day around young children. Otherwise, she would have known better. Good for you for speaking up, and for not allowing your daughter to get her way.

Answer 3

I am sure that your daughter is neither spoil nor a brat.



There could have been (there wasnt) lots of reasons for your daughter crying/shouting and it was very wrong for the woman to make a critical comment.



Good for you defending your daughter.



next time your daughter is behaving well buy her some chocolates for both of you.



Frankly when I see kids having tantrums in a shop I think "I only wish I could too".

Answer 4

I'd first like to start off saying that I absolutely love IKEA!

But, yes you had a right, shes your daughter and they should mind their own business. When it comes to kids, parents become more defensive, which I think is a plus.



If you need tips or advice about anything go to www.parents.com

I go there all the time.





And your daughter isn't spoiled shes just misbehaving. And it happens to everyone, so don't worry about it.

Answer 5

You were perfectly within your rights to defend it as your own business and none of hers.



However, when my sister decided to have a tantrum at about the same age, lying on the floor, kicking, crying and screaming, my father said, "If you want to cry, I'll give you something to cry about." After a brief spanking, which gave her a reason to cry, she calmed down and never had a tantrum again. When a tantrum is immediately treated with a quick spanking, a child soon learns that tantrums not only do not get them what they want, they get something they don't want.



I think that allowing tantrums, even though you do not let the child get their way, teaches them that they can be annoying to everyone and no one will stop them. It is more abusive to let them get away with it than to give them a spanking. And that is a couple of open-handed swats on the bum to get their attention, not a beating. The child quickly learns that they will not get what they want and that they get something they don't want, when having a tantrum.



Good behaviour needs positive reinforcement and bad behaviour needs a negative reaction.

Answer 6

I think the situation put you under stress and you reacted quite normally. Of course you are going to stand up for your daughter and I'm with you on the not giving in on the chocolates. I would suggest that the "lady" (I don't think so) in front would have been better to express her opinion in privacy if she had to express an opinion at all. It could also be suggested that it was she who was rude rather than yourself. Most of all though shops who have chocolate by the till to force parents into buying unwanted items to keep their child quiet need boycotting.

Answer 7

You did not owe the rude lady an explanation, but, because you gave her one shows that you do now want your daughter to grow up to be a spoiled rude brat like her. People now think they can say whatever they want to whoever they want. I remember when my son was very small some lady in line at the store said, "Ew what's wrong with him?" He had his oxygen on and he was all taped up and weighed only about 6 lbs. and his head was big and his body very tiny he had down syndrome and was waiting for his first heart surgery he had to get to 10 lbs. I looked at her and I said, "HE has Down Syndrome, what's your excuse?" and we walked out her jaw just about hit the floor I thought it was funny! So I think you did the right thing!

Answer 8

You COULD have said "No ma'am, my child is NOT a spoiled brat" OR just don't respond to her at all and act like you didn't even hear her and don't give her the pleasure. I probably would've said something too. As far as it being the "right thing", you probably were fairly right... but you could've dissfused it a little differently. Just keep pushing, training your daughter with morals and good behavior. The world is filled with kids who grow up without proper training which will help them in adulthood.

Answer 9

I think you're on the right track. I think the mind your own business thing was a bit rude to say but so was her comment. Your response to her was right. Your daughter is only two but it's time to start setting limits. Parents need to tell their children that they are NOT going to buy candy or whatever at the checkout line so if your child starts whinning tell them that they are not coming to the store the next time.



In all honesty my parents ALWAYS.....ALWAYS let me buy candy!!! My dad tells stories of me asking for money so I could go to the local store I was maybe 7!!! My dad thought it was cute!!! My parents liked that they could afford to buy me a candy bar. I'm not saying you may not be able to buy candy for your child. You need to think about what line you're drawing. I'm not for giving in all the time to a child. It's hard to know what to do. I really can't see myself telling my child NO when they ask for a roll of Rollo's. If they start asking for the cheap plastic crap toys at that I'll put my foot down but Rollos are no big deal to me. I guess I'm just strange.



Since your child is whinning at the candy & as you said "having a tantrum" that tells you that you need to work with her on her behavior. I know, she's only 2 but this is where it starts. If she starts having tantrums in public you need to explain to her that is not the way she should behave, pick her up, leave the cart & drive home. Hopefully as she gets older she will stop that behavior.



Another way to deal with it is to give your child an allowance-I know 2 is young but you can start. Let your daughter-as she gets older earn money by doing chores around the house. Make sure there are chores she has to do that she doesn't get paid for. Let your daughter take her own money to the store & buy a treat. She'll learn the value of money & working for it.

Answer 10

Turns out you DO have the guts!

You absolutely did 2 right things: managed a tantrum and defended your right to discipline your child as you saw fit.

Answer 11

Absolutely. I have a 2 year old daughter too, and I do exactly the same thing, and I definitely tell people how it is when they have the rudeness to make silly comments about my parenting when they've really no idea what they're talking about.

Answer 12

I hate people that make comments about a child being spoilt when they create in a shop, I think you were right to put them straight and its a very valid point that you weren't giving in to her. All children have their moments and I'm sure if this woman was a mother she would have known that. Congratulations for standing up for yourself!

Answer 13

That woman was rude beyond all measure. Every child has a tantrum in public at least once, especially if she's only two. You did right, both by not giving in to your child and by answering that witch back.

Answer 14

yes u did love i hate it when people judge my daughter is 3 and went into town a few months ago with her she was very tired so she got in the pram and this person next to me said i was lazy not letting her walk and why is she in a pram she should be at school.my daughter is tall for her age i was mad so told her to mind own business and that she wasnt old enough for school and shes only 3 and to keep her pig nose out of things.normally im not rude but people should keep their opinions to themselves x

Answer 15

Yes, you did the right thing. Good for you to stand up for yourself! It's hard enough to be a parent without being judged by a total stranger in IKEA.

Answer 16

Honestly, you shouldn't have had to defend yourself as a parent. But, in this case, I am almost sure I would have done the same thing. Noone has the right to judge you, your parenting skills, or your child. Either they aren't a parent, or they have forgotten just exactly how it is to be a parent. No matter how many times you say no, that doesn't mean that kids don't still throw fits wanting something. She really should have minded her own business!!!!

Answer 17

Yeah sure you did, we all need to do a bit of IKEA shopping..!



Sorry!



The person who said that was very rude. You were entitled too respond and im glad that you stood up for yourself and your kid.



Once you didn't snap too much than you were bang on the money



Hope your happy with the new furniture too!!

Answer 18

how rude of these women to comment on your daughter in the first place, yes you were right to defend yourself , you didnt even have to explain yourself to them, all children throw a tantrum at some point in their lives its best to ignore them , good on you for defending yourself and your girl these ladies have nothing better to do with their lives than to make rude assumptions it might make them realise and not to say anything to the next person this happens to.

Answer 19

I think it was the right thing. Because they said it loud enough for you to hear it. They have no idea how she acts all the time, she may have been tired that day. Sometimes moms get so frustrated with there kids that some days they do give in and that's okay.

Answer 20

You most definetely were not rude you did the right thing good for you. That lady was acting like a B**** and I probably would have gone off about her speaking like that about a child when the child is right there that she is the inapropriate one. That my child is two and has an excuse and what is her excuse for being bitter and B****..lol

Answer 21

i think you did. i do. i had someone the other day try to push in the queue for Debenhams cafe and i told her in no uncertain terms that my baby (10 months) is more important than her and she could wait and extra 10 mins to eat.



i always defend myself i hate being walked over, and you do get it a lot when you have children as people seem to be very opinionated about how to raise them.

Answer 22

Yes you did the right thing! Nothing would have given her greater pleasure than seeing you give your child a good hard slap. That would have solved nothing, but would have given her even more ammunition. You did the right thing, good luck sounds like you have a perfectly well adjusted 2 yr old to me

Answer 23

You were perfectly within your rights to defend it as your own business and none of hers.

Answer 24

Being an aggressive woman, i wud have had the erge to weigh her in right there in ikea. SHE is disgusting! If anyone says anything about YOUR CHILD, you have the right to say whatever you like! The ignorant ****! Thank you for sticking up for your child!

Answer 25

Good for you.

It never ceases to amaze me how people think you need to hear their opinions. This womans kids were probably little monkeys but she has forgotten.



Discipline is a hard balance but obviously you are on the right track....kids always play up when in public.



Take no notice of RUDE OVER OPINIONATED PEOPLE., and dont ever be ashamed of putting nosy people in their place, perhaps she will think twice before putting her mouth in gear.............but probably not.......Good luck to you and yours.

Answer 26

You have acted right. That is not rude to tell somebody to mind his/her own business in that ocasion. How could a total stranger tell such a thing to the little girl. She is the one who have to be embarrassed, and her language too.

Answer 27

Yes, what else were you supposed to do? You're entitled to stick up for yourself! Honestly, I'm not a kid person but I'd never ever say something like that. It's just rude.

Answer 28

Good job! I hate it when people in stores can't mind their own business. As if it isn't embarassing enough that the kid is throwing a fit, they have to make it worse by saying something.

Answer 29

I feel you did the right thing. I have a 4 year old and it is normal for a child to wont, but that don,t mean you have to give.

Answer 30

You have every right to defend yourself and your child. Children need to learn boundaries. Real-life experiences are going to be the most effective: you can't have candy right now, even if the reason is to learn you can't have what you want whenever you want it. Well done!

Answer 31

yes deinatly you did i would of said worse when i used be on bus with my son in pram he would cry get out some times as they doe and its generally the older odler women you know pensioners who say something and i would be fuming and rage inside its not liek they havent had kids its just they two old and they forgot no child is a saint please keep it up and you raise your child as you think well done and not giving in i used to lol thaks kayleigh

Answer 32

2 things, yep u did the right thing BUT....

AN 8 hour 17 mile loop of ikea is tireing and you should have bought her a SMALL box of something.

Answer 33

That lady was a horrible person. I think you did fine, and maybe should have reminded the woman that the reason she was crying was BECAUSE SHE'S TWO.

Answer 34

You did the right thing - she probably has never had a child and doesnt understand what they are like. well done for not giving in too as i know how difficult it is. we need to support parents not judge them

Answer 35

You were not rude, the miserable old bat in front of you has no right to comment on your parenting skills. If we all gave into our kids when they demanded things, we would never have control. My next advice, steer clear of Ikea, they sell cheap crap stuff !!!

Answer 36

Ive done stuff like that before and the lady was just being a cow so dont worry about it!!!

Answer 37

You definitely did the right thing!

How rude of that snob in front of you to be so judgemental about your daughter!

Answer 38

I take it the woman was 60/70 and what the hell has it got to do with her the interfering old bint!



So yep you were right!

Answer 39

sure you did that woman had no right to pass judgment on you or your child that was rude and mighty bold of a perfect stranger to even comment on one child... i think you let her off lightly i would have thrown a huge fit an embarrased the **** out of such a iggnorant moron....... kudos for calling her out..

Answer 40

You definatly did the right thing! Who are they to talk about your child? They dont know you OR your child. You have every right to stand up for yourself and you did it in a tasteful way ;) Good going!

Answer 41

yes you did. nosey old biddybodies are alway experts..from a generation which saw it as alright to brutalise their kids and get away with it...



weve been castigated in a similar manner in toys are us... i told her to shut the fork up... fran was crying coz shes fallen over and banged her knee..



ignore them. a persons opinion is only valuable if you respect the person.. you dont know them, they dont know you, so their opinion is irrelavent

Answer 42

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w w w . s e t b b . c o m / m u m s t he word



Leave out the spaces in between the letters

Answer 43

Definetly. that lady probably was the one that got spoiled when she was younger. next time though smack her hands and tell her you said no and after a while that should work and keep her from throwing fits.

Answer 44

yes, u did the right thing.





that lady was being rude. why is it okay for her to be rude to u but not okay for u to stand up for your daughter.



being a mother makes u bolder.

Answer 45

You weren't rude - but you gave the rude lady too much power. WHat she says doesn't matter at all, and you could have responded in a way that reflects that.



I might have either said nothing or smiled and said, "You should hear what she said about you."

Answer 46

You did the right thing. Nobody has the right to insult another persons child. Good on you.

Answer 47

Of course you did. Just your guilt at never defending yourself before is making you doubt. People without children just don't seem to understand!!! & if she was a mother herself 'shame on her'.

Answer 48

Yes, in this case, I think you responded appropriately. And, I hope you followed through w/ your daughter and did NOT give in :)

Answer 49

You sure did! i think it is appaulling that someone could judge a child like that and you stood up to that well done

Answer 50

Sure you did the right thing, with your child and the woman. She doesn't know you or your kid and needs to keep her thoughts to herself. Wait a minute ; I don't know you either.

Answer 51

Nope, you shudda said nothing. After all, she wasn't talking to you, was she? You let your emotions get the better of you. She who stays the calmest wins.

Answer 52

if you felt better about it then you did the right thing!! and what a GREAT answer to a busy-body that should have been minding her own business!!!

Answer 53

You did the right thing, if a person has the bottle to voice there opinion, then they must expect a responce. In fact I would have said more............!!

Answer 54

i think you did the write thing cuz noone has the right to insult you and yuor child! in fact, i personally would have ***** slapped that hoe cuz noone has a right to talk about you or your child in that mannor when they do not know the full situation or you and your child. god! the nerve of people these days!

Answer 55

woohoo! go you!



you're so right! the lady has no right to criticise your parenting, shes your child and not giving in was very strong of you!



well done!

Answer 56

i think u handled the situation correctly, that woman should not make judgements on others, she isnt perfect either. i think u defended ur self and ur child perfectly.

Answer 57

Of course you did - never give in to children when they're being like that.



God, women like that annoy me so much. Pig ignorant and rude.

Answer 58

yes, you did the right thing. that woman had no business to say anything to you. If i was in your shoes i would have done the same thing.

Answer 59

people like her do my head in i would of give her a good mouth well done to you for standing up for yourself good for you for not giving in to your daughter otherwise she'll never learn .

Answer 60

If she's got an amplified opinion about something that's none of her business; then you have an amplified opinion about something that is your business.

Answer 61

Yes you did the right thing. Well done.

Answer 62

course you did I'd have done exactly the same thing good on you! It was none of her business, well done!

Answer 63

I don't see anything wrong with defending yourself. Typically people making those comments don't have children or a clue.

Answer 64

I salute yo for not saying anything worse!

Why did she judge you - she know nothing about your life?

She is a busybody!!

Answer 65

of course you did my dear i wouldn't let any rude busybody mock my children in public like that .... Go on girl you tell them

Answer 66

of course you did, and you didn't even had to give them explanations, you were right, I hate nosy people, you did the right thing, they should mind their own business.

Answer 67

course you did the nosy old bat should just mind her own buisness

Answer 68

Yes i think you did the right thing, what business is it of hers, cheeky mare...

Answer 69

yes definitely. some people need to mind their own business. well done for sticking up for yourself.

Answer 70

You did the right thing.

That old ***** should mine her own business.

Answer 71

Totally! How rude was it of her to say that! Good job to you and many kudos!

Answer 72

Well the person shouldn't have called ur daugter spoiled in the first place. soooooo...i dont really know

Answer 73

You absolutely did. That woman had no reason to say anything to you! Good for you! Bravo!

Answer 74

I think you did. How rude of that other woman to say something knowing that you would hear.

Answer 75

yes you did the right thing

Answer 76

personally i would of taken her nose and make it stuck up sumwhere elce

Answer 77

You were right, the other woman should have been sympathetic.

Answer 78

Yes, you stood for what you believe, good for you!

Answer 79

anybody in ur situation-alike,should react in that manner---so no one say that u done a wrong----yes we may refind our behave ---............manohar gulab das vaishnaw..

Answer 80

Yup you did

Answer 81

good for u

Answer 82

I think you should of slapped her and then told her to mind own buz and to F-off. Maybe kicked her also.

Answer 83

yes I believe you did...I would have done the same thing

Answer 84

Good for you!!!