What would you do if a cafe wouldn't let your 3 year old use their toilet so she wet herself?

Question

This evening, I took my two children to town to see the Christmas light switch on and all the entertainment that was going on. After an hour or so both of them (3 and 5) said they needed the toilet. The public ones were all closed and the pubs wouldn't let me use theirs due to licensing laws with children, so I went to a nearby cafe. They said I couldn't use them as they were for paying customers only. I pleaded with them explaining how desperate they were but they said no and were really rude. My 3 year old them wet herself as she had been holding it for about 20 minutes so I blew my top at them. Left and had to take my 5 year old down a dark stinking alley to do hers. Then had to take them home as 3 year old in a complete state. How can somewhere refuse a child the toilet to the point she wets herself? I'm madder than mad and feel I should complain to the cafe and the council for not having public toilets open when there were thousands of people out. What do you reckon, justified?

Answer 1

That is terrible! my god i think i would have given myself a heart attack screaming at them if they had done that to me.

I hope your poor daughter had to wee in the middle of their cafe and you left it for them to clean up!

what ignorant pigs! i would certainly write to the council and the paper and a letter of complaint to the cafe itself.

They are children for godake, they must not have children of their own so have no clue what it is like when you kid needs the loo.

They could have put your 5 year old in such danger having made her pee in an alley! what would have happened if some pervert had spotted her!!!!

It truely lakes me sick!

I hope your girls get over it soon, its an awful thing to happen to them....and to you!

Answer 2

I once had a shop and yes people did come in and I let them, even though they were not paying BUT why should I clean up a smelly toilet for someone who does not pay for anything, it was not a public convenience I was running after all?



The council should have toilets Was there not a McDonald's or Burger King around?



To add the newspaper will not care, can I go into anywhere I like any time and use their toilet? May be I should turn up at your house and demand my child uses your toilet? Where you not j

Make sure your children go to the loo BEFORE going out ALWAYS



If you have to sit down and buy something at the cafe, too bad, the world does not revolve round your children.



Sorry this is not what you want to hear but as a parent you should plan your trip, and figure out somewhere to go, like having a small thing in a cafe or staying at home.



Maybe I should turn up at your house and DEMAND to use your toilet as though I had a right. I don't, people are in business and have to make money to survive and turning into a public toilet is not nice for other diners, to see. Something tells me you could not be arsed waiting in the queues for the council ones, and think people you have children you have a right. You don't sorry, it's the law, businesses are there to make money.



How about you set up your own public convience in the area for free and you can keep it going in cleaning materials, rent and rates.

Answer 3

I totally understand how you feel. I had my sons with me in a little local clothing stores that I have been going to for years. On every other occassion, the staff allowed my sons to use their restroom (they only have one) if they had to go really badly.

Well for some reason, they denied my oldest son the last time I went. He had to go very very badly and I was told to walk down (about a block or so) to the McDonalds and he could use the one there. If he didn't have to go so badly, I wouldn't have had a problem with their instructions.

After a few seconds of pleading and debating, I ran him down towards the McDonalds. He couldn't make it to McDonalds so he went into Subway. Well, he had an accident right there in the Subway. This is a 10 year old boy!!! He was so humiliated! I was hot hot hot! But I kept my cool. I talked with him and let him know that it wasn't his fault and then had him sit in the car while I want back to the clothing store to get him a fresh pair of pants. I made my case so clear and made them feel so badly, that they had to give him a free pair of pants. There were other customers around and it made it very hard for them to deny him as he was humiliated and the situation could have been avoided.



In my opinion, all public places should at least allow children, seniors, and the disabled to use their restrooms if it is an emergency. I don't care how many people may have asked to use the restroom at the cafe that you and you children went to for assistance. The cafe should have been helpful and understanding with respect to your children. Also, in my eyes, you are a potential customer and they should have treated your situation like it was of the utmost importance. How dare they deny a child!



And yes, children have accidents all the time, but when the accident is caused by another person's unwillingness to bend and be a bit flexible and humane in their decision making, I have to wonder.



I would suggest that you remain calm if this situation ever arises again and that you let the establishment know exactly how you feel and what you intend to do with respect to what has happened. I also suggest that you write your mayor, ward leaders, and other civic leaders and let them know exactly what happened and how you think that it was highly inappropriate for them to not provide adequate restrooms for the public during a holiday event.

Answer 4

Well, i would write and complain to the cafe owners, council for shutting public toilets knowing that the lights were being switched on, write to your local paper and name and shame these cafes. If you really wanted to take it to the extreme, you could stand outside these cafes and boycott them!! Get some friends to join you.



Why should you have to buy something anyway? I don't have the problem with the toilets yet, but I struggle to find somewhere comfy to feed my baby son. I always have to buy a coffee of something just to give him his lunch. My gripe is that most places will not heat up his food, but that is a whole different moan!!!

Answer 5

I don't know where you are from, but the organizers or community putting on a large event should have provided public toilets. In San Antonio, Texas, they bring in portable rows of toilets during parades and events.



It is unfortunate that a business would not open it's restroom for your child. From the business' point of view, letting in hundreds of people to use the toilet is not in it's best interest, but if you were the only one walking in all night, it shouldn't have mattered and makes better business sense that you would possibly come back at a later date to eat there.



As sad as it sounds, I've actually done this. Walk in, buy a soda or bag of chips or whatever to go and use the restroom. In Europe, there are places you have to pay to use the restroom, so spending $1 for a soda and using the restroom isn't that bad.



Your best bet is to write to the organizers of the event or check if there is a city ordinance stating that certain size event requires facilities.



Also, please take the kids to see Santa. They need to have a positive holiday experience.



Hope your holidays get better.

Answer 6

I think that's really a bummer too. Unfortunately probably the only thing you can do is complain and tell EVERYONE you know how rude that cafe is. It'll hurt their business and that gives you satisfaction at least. You can inquire at the city hall what kind of requirements there are for using a bathroom. I mean, the cafe can make thier own rules as they wish and that's sad they're so rediculous about something as silly as using a bathroom if you didn't buy anything. I'd complain to the city above all, they should have public restrooms open for a public event. Good luck with that.

Answer 7

I would call the mayors office and say I would like to hear their opinion on this before I have to call the local news paper. They will probably try to do something nice for you, if not then I would call the local news paper, and tell them how a bad cafe owner traumatized children because they did not get to see santa at xmas and that the mayor office did not help either.

Or

I would stand infront of the cafe with a poster where it states they dont like children because they did not let your children use the rest room.

Answer 8

I cant believe they did that to you that is so horrible i have 3 children and if they needed to go pee i would have done the same in your position my daughter has the habit of getting to a shop and wanting to go toilet when we just passed one miles down the road i too would have made a fuss if my child had wet herself cos they wouldnt let her use the toilet that is so wrong i would report the cafe to the council as well at least with adults we know when to go and we can hold it in but kids when they need to go they have to go.I do feel for you and your children the people who didnt let your daughter go should be ashamed of themselves to upset your children and spoil there time out to see santa.

Answer 9

The place where you were should have had facilities for your children to use. Its not really the cafe's fault. I'm sure the employees were just doing their job. If you feel that strongly about it then do not do business at the care and spread it out word of mouth. Other than that there isn't much that can be done.

Answer 10

n to the cafe owners, council for shutting public toilets knowing that the lights were being switched on, write to your local paper and name and shame these cafes. If you really wanted to take it to the extreme, you could stand outside these cafes and boycott them!! Get some friends to join you.



Why should you have to buy something anyway? I don't have the problem with the toilets yet, but I struggle to find somewhere comfy to feed my baby son. I always have to bu

Answer 11

This a very tricky question. You have many valid points. As I don't know where you are from, I can't make any factual observation but I can tell you that you are on the right track in the complaint department.



As you did not purchase anything at the cafe, in most cases they are perfectly justified in not allowing you to use the restrooms. I did not say they were correct, just possibly in the right in a legal sense.



I would go about as follows, depending on what the laws for slander are in your area. Write a not too nasty letter to the people in charge of the event. Explain it like you did above, and mention the name of the cafe. Put at the bottom of the letter that you will be sending a copy of the letter to the local newspaper if you do not get an answer from them with "X" number of days.



If you do not hear from them, call and ask if they got the letter. If you get stonewalled, send the next one return receipt requested explaining that this is the second one you have sent.



While you are doing this, contact the manager of the cafe. (Unless he/she was there at the time.) If the manager was not there, explain to him/her exactly what happened. If the manager does not come up with an acceptable response then you start to tell everyone you know, by word of mouth only, put nothing in writing, what vile creatures are working there.



If the event council still does not respond, try to find a good bottom feeding lawyer who will be willing to sue for emotional damage, for a percentage, with no upfront costs. Try to put everything in writing EXACTLY as it occured. Be very careful with your notes since, if you sound "unhinged", and the notes are called forth in a court of law, people may take the other side. Reasonable and prudent go a long way with a jury or judge.



By the way. Complaining to the cafe about no public toilets is a waste of time. As far as I know, there is no law that requires an establishment like a cafe (Unlike large stores such as supermarkets, etc.) to have public rest rooms.



Unfortunately, today, many people use what little power thay have in hateful, ways and just out of spite. It makes them feel good. I certainly hope that if you can't at least open their eyes, you can hit them right in the wallet. My condolences to your children. I hope you get satisfaction from this. It is truly terrible to deny a child since they have no comprehension as to why the "bad thing" is happening.



Good luck to you.

Answer 12

I would definitely complain and raise you know what. I have a 5 year old and a 2 year old and this has happened to me before. You wouldn't happen to live in Louisiana would you? Anyway, I have raised ten kids of you know what all over the place and people just do not care anymore. To prevent my children pottying on themselves I just buy the cheapest thing possible like a .69 cent dougnut and then I leave it on the counter and tell them to give it to someone who needs and say at least I know where I am going.

Good Luck...I hope that you get further than what I did.

Answer 13

I think that its realy disgusting and you sould complain to the cafe, to the council and write it in the paper in one of thumbs up - thumbs down collums (if your paper has one). I was in a similar situation and the fellow at the service station would not let me use the toilet so my child weed on the floor and I left stating " It would of been easier on you to have let her use the toilet - now you have to clean up wee!'. I think that people are just too stupid for words. Have a cuppa and calm down. Your children will be fine. The other issue is that the council should have had the public toilets open for the nihjt so go speak to the council when you are fealing calmer. I know what its like. I went to a fast food outlet one and there were no baby change rooms - not even a bench no even any room to change a baby on the floor so I changed him at the tables and people got upset and I said "Take your complaints to the management as they have no change rooms nad my child needs changing!!"



People just dont think do they?

Answer 14

Well I think I would have done the same I would have flipped.. I would have let my children pee on the floor and had them clean it up! loll jk well I THINK i would have been really mad that the Cafe would do that top a child I mean they really cant help themselves like an adult can so I really think it was Way wrong of the person that said it to you. I am sorry that that happened but not everyone in the world is sensitive to a child's needs, unfortunately!

Answer 15

Write to the council,the local paper and the cafe's head office. Don't let them fob you off-adequate services weren't provided for what was a family event-so obviously young children would be there and require the toilet at some point.

Poor babies-I can understand how upset they must be feeling!

Answer 16

The public bathrooms definitely should have been opened. Personally, in a situation like that, I wouldn't even have asked to used the bathroom, I would have just taken the kids straight there. Unless the place was packed and they had a line of paying customers waiting to use the bathroom, there was no need for them to have been such jerks about it.

I think you should write to your local newspaper about how that particular cafe is not family-friendly.

Answer 17

hiya you should e-mail every news paper in your town & city & even tv news companies & if possiball oppen up a web site an dedicate it to telling every one how bad that cafe was to your babies & then take out an advert in news papers with your web site address so every one can log on to the web site and read just how bad that cafe is and also scream blue murder at your council & the event organisers and complaine to the envormentl health that the cafe is filthy just make up a whole lot of lies and the envoiromentl health will vist them an go through the place with a fine tooth combe & also drop a leter to the tax man (irs) saying that they r comiting fruad on there vat & write to the social security saying that they have casual staff there who are clameing social bentifts and give them hell best of luck 2 the babies seeing santa hope santa is good to you & the babies

Answer 18

I had this same problem, with a local Burger King, i really couldn't believe them. I too went a little mad at them, I just could not believe they would say no to a child, imagine if you were expecting a baby or had ibs, then what would they have done?

I wrote a letter to there head office about it, I'm still waiting to hear. do complaint tho they deserve it, i hope you get some justice

Answer 19

The cafe was within it's rights in refusing to allow non-customers to use the facilities. However...by them not allowing you to become a customer because they were closing...then they totally went outside the lines...if a store is not closed when you walk in...you have every right to sit down and order something. Also..it is on the city for holding a public event and not providing public restrooms even in the form of a port-o-potty. I would definately take your story to the papers. It is wrong on so many levels. Don't give up...don't let it slide...good luck!!

Answer 20

That is precisely why I keep a potty seat & a roll of toilet paper in my van. That way when my girls have to go I jsut go to the van & let them go there(we have tinted windows). Much less of a headache than finding a place to let them in to go. We have a Step one potty seat with a stepstool lid that folds down on top of it & clean it once a week so it doesn't smell. It's really nice for those times when you've asked them if they had to go before we leave & they say no only for you to hear "I have to potty' 5 minutes after you leave. lol

Answer 21

That is horrible and you should do something about it.. This happened too me once but it was not my children it was me.. It was a restaurant that I happened too pass by and I needed to use the bathroom. The people who owned the restaurant were spanish, I happen too have a girlfriend of mine who was spanish she asked them if she could use the bathroom and they let her use it. When I came and asked they said NO... I was so upset and humilated. I told my girlfriend what happend and she went in with me and asked them why I can't use the bathroom then they said that I could use it. I felt like cursing them out, but at the same time I cold understand if they do not want alot of strangers using they bathroom.



In your case these are children, that was totally wrong and they should be reported. I am so sorry to hear that this happened to your children.

Answer 22

To avoid having to rush home because a child wet them self I always carry extra clothing with me,just in case, but that cafe was very rude,raise hell LOL

Answer 23

I TOTALLY empathise with you and it's a sad day we live in when the likes of this happens. If I was you though I wouldn't "complain" cause at the end of the day whatever my/your/most folks opinion on the matter is, they do have the right to refuse. I'd play them on a guilt trip and explain you'd eaten there in the past but wouldn't be doing so again due to their unsympathetic view. Afterall, they're more than willing to cash in on the christmas trade but unwilling to extend basic human understanding.

Answer 24

the get this story out there girl you need to make sure it dont happen to anyone else. its is stupid that the cafe didnt let your 3yr old go to the loo and please dnt take this the wrong way but wen she wet herself i hope she did it on there floor. how can anyone refuse to let a child go to the loo? loet everyone no about this and also the council should have had loos open just get the story known

Answer 25

There are some wicked people out there



But they are within there rights to refuse, you should of just bought a can of drink then they could not of said no...



Pretty useless info now.......



Just bad mouth the cafe to everyone you meet say there kitchens are filthy so no one goes there or something lol



mind you it was probably a min wage jobs worth that said no not the owner

Answer 26

i cant believe those jerks in that cafe.. that is so wrong to DENY a CHILD the right to use the bathroom A HUMAN NECESSITY. what a bunch of SCROOGES.... i just ..man.. i am so mad... and i feel so bad for your kids, that they missed the fun out there. I totally would have set my kid on the paying counter and told my baby to pee away.. lol... let them clean up her pee!!!!since they are so uppity about it... I DOUBT one cop could have found you in the crowd anyways.. and if they did call the cops.. SHAME on them ya know?

NEXT TIME: make sure you always have spare clothes in your car at all times for accidents and spillage of food.. and it will be better...

iS it possible to complain to the BBB about something like that....does anyone know?

Answer 27

Hi!



I can understand EXACTLY how you feel!!



OMG!!



I'd go to my local newspaper and get them to take a picture of me and the kids outside the offending cafe.



The trouble is, these cafe owners employ monkeys, pay them monkey wages, so you have to accept monkey service.



Your Council have really let you down tonight too. What idiot didn't think of keeping them open? Someone who has sh*t for brains - that's who!



Best of luck whichever route you choose to take. We're there with you girl!!

Answer 28

Restrooms for public events are not the cafe's responsibility. It is the organizers of the event that you should have been mad at since they should have provided port-a-potties for people to use. It is unfortunate that your 3 yr old wet herself, but restricting toilets to paying customers is a common practice. I understand your anger, but it is directed at the wrong people.

Answer 29

I would complain to the council and certainly go to the local papers.

I would also shout from the rooftops the name of the cafe involved

Answer 30

omg that is a disgrace. I really don't know how those people can sleep at night. Fine i can understand if it was an adult but denying a child the toilet, No wonder your mad, i would be the exact same.

Answer 31

thats really unfair.the council should take a lot of the blame its the same around here all the loo s are shut when u need them.but what a uncharitable cafe that was write a letter to your local paper and name n shame them

Answer 32

Did you physically fight with them? I would do the same...but thank God my child nor I were never refused restroom usage. We always leave the house prepared. But you were right to complain full-fledge. They had to let you use the restroom no matter what. Children should never be refused anything!

Answer 33

You are right to be upset and angry. You and your children have been treated abysmally. You can do either of two things; move on and try and put it behind you (are they worth it?). Or you can exact your revenge. A local paper is a good place to start. They love this type of story.

Answer 34

This isn't realy the cafe's fault (though I would be angry as well if I were you).



The council should have set up some toilets.



As there were none, people probably had been coming into the cafe all night which is why they refused you.



Write to the council and complain.

Answer 35

Thats a total disgrace! i cold see their point if it was a rude drunk teenager, but not a wee girl! Write to local paper & council & general manager of cafe!

Answer 36

Write a letter to your local paper & send a copy of it to the owner of the cafe

Answer 37

Take it to your local newspaper and let everyone in town know how bad you were treated, by this cafe.

Answer 38

Id complain to the council number one! I would also right a nasty letter for the paper aout the cafe1



THATS AWFUL!



Cathy

http://mamasunited.7.forumer.com

Answer 39

Wow! That is ridiculous. I would deffinetly complain to the cafe. I would also write to your "peoples Forum" in your local newspaper.

Answer 40

Don't go there ever again and make sure the town knows, write a letter to your local paper.

Answer 41

Justified!

You are great for making it up to them later, and I think that you should write to the papers about this...perhaps by bringing this to light you can prevent another family from going through this nightmare.

Answer 42

Do it, complain to the town and to the cafe. We need to bring kindness and decency back. Be the hero of your town for all the other people who wet themselves that night.

Just be calm when you complain otherwise they'll dismiss you as a luny.

Answer 43

I'd never go there again and tell everyone I know about your experience so they won't go either! That is an absolute disgrace! I'd even think about telling the local newspaper!

Answer 44

first of all i'd like to say that's not bull crap! your poor kiddies. you got to complain to the council for their lack of facilities also to the manager of the cafe, he/she maybe had no idea about this. I've got to take my hat off to you as i would of kicked the living **** out of the ******* wanker that refused your children the use of their loo! arseholes!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 45

You should make this as publicly known as humanly possible. That might include such things as picketing, word of mouth and I would especially recommend contacting your local TV, radio and other media. They need to be driven out of business.

Answer 46

im mad for you! ive got kids and i would have used them wether they liked it or not they would have had to physically remove me from the cafe. that stinks how they treated you complain

Answer 47

i would take my money somewhere else because your children had their everyright to go the bathroom and the cafe wasnt fair or smart enough to realize it. i would take my money somewhere else where my children would get treated with respect.

Answer 48

you should buy a drink really fast the next time that happens or the cheapest thing on the menu and let your kids to go to the bathroom.

Answer 49

I would be very mad but no offence - I think you made the situation worse for your girls by kicking off. I imagine your daughter was embarrassed enough without hearing you shouting about it. As for them missing Santa etc. were there no shops open you could have brought her a new pair. All kids wet themselves - if it were me I would have dried her off and carried on - to miss Santa was like a punishment xxx

Answer 50

omg!! thats SOOO lousyy!! complain to the local paper nd make the bastard/s suffer!!



good luck!



xx

Answer 51

thats not right i would complain to the manager.I would have raise hell in there . You should have let them pee on there floor.

Answer 52

I would'nt ask, i'd walk straight in.

Answer 53

Leave the pee in the floor and let them clean it up.

Answer 54

Whether you like it or not, the Cafe had every right to deny you. Most businesses do have a "restrooms are for paying customers only" Why didn't you just buy something and the whole situation could have been resolved easily. It was not their fault your child peed themselves.

Answer 55

I'd secretly pee in the coffee pot.

Answer 56

talk to ur mayor

Answer 57

that would have pissed me off

Answer 58

i would have raised hell up in there

Answer 59

Your story about urine and Christmas is highly erotic, got any more?

Answer 60

kick the managers ***

Answer 61

thats bull crap!