What are the pros and cons of being a mom at 15?

Question

I found out today that I am pregnant. I don't need to hear crap from you guys because I'm already getting it from my parents. I don't believe in abortion so that is not an option. I want to know some of the pros and cons of being a mom at 15. Have any?

Answer 1

Hi. First of all, this has got to be very tough on you, and it's good that you're handling this maturely by considering the pros and cons and potential ramifications down the road.



I would say that there's a few pros and a few cons, and a few aspects that can be both or neither.



Pros:

- a baby, no matter how unexpected or inconvenient, brings immeasurable joy to a mother who genuinely loves and wants them.

- the chance to see and help you child grow up and become what they will

- if you love children and you love your child, parenthood is the most rewarding (and demanding) job you'll ever have



Neutral / Both / Neither:

- it will force you to grow up much quicker than your peers

- a tonne of responsibility

- there's no going back if you decide to keep the baby... I mean, there technically is the option of terminating rights later on, but it really should be either adoption or keeping from the start.



Cons:

- social alienation: I really wish this didn't happen for young mothers. If anyone needs a supportive social structure, it's young parents, but unfortunately society tends to isolate and degrade them instead of help.

- school will be tougher, but there ARE programmes that are available if you know where to look. There are alternative schools, home hospital (in some states/countries, I don't know what it's called where you live or what the policies are), GED programmes, community college after that. Education does not have to end, it'll just be a bit more difficult and different.

- financial responsibility, either with help or especially without it, will be enormous and will be a struggle. Again, there are programmes that can help with this, and someone at planned parenthood, a guidance counsellor or a physician might be a good place to start to look at these programmes. It's no good to be living off government assistance forever, but when you need it, you need it.

- many teenagers are just not emotionally ready to be parents without help. Some are, some aren't.



In any case, I would like to encourage you to go to the nearest community run parenting class or teen parenting support group a few times before you make any decisions. Talk to other teen/former teen parents, be honest with yourself about what you want and what you feel you can handle. Ask a guidance counsellor, doctor, teacher or other adult you trust if they could help you find information and resources to help you cope with the pregnancy and the baby (if you choose to keep him/her) or adoption (if that's your choice.)



Many teenagers feel most comfortable going to an adult that they know and trust that no longer has direct involvement in their lives or direct influence on their futures - a former sports coach, teacher, or mentor might be a good place to start. They're a third party outside of the family that will likely advocate for you and guide you, but at the same time they do not hold the gradebook or anything like that, so they are unbiased in that respect.



Think it through thoroughly and talk it over with an adult you trust, or several, then think it through again and again. Either way will not be an easy decision, but the more you think about it and the more informed you are, the more confident you'll be in whatever decision you'll make.



Good luck, sweetie. I know it's a tough situation and that it's definitely not ideal, but you're not the first one to go through this, and you won't be the last.

Answer 2

Firstly let me tell you, it's Ok. You are not going to hell. You are a young woman who has something life changing happening to you. I'm sorry you have had this happen to you at such a young age however what is done is done. Start taking care of your body and your growing baby even if you don't plan on keeping it for yourself. If you are looking into adoption and want a loving, well to do family I know of one who is DIEING for a baby. If not and you plan on keeping it take one day at a time. Start looking for a part time job if you don't have one. As far as getting things for the baby many churches and cities have things at no/low cost. Get yourself on WIC for now, it will give you what you need while you are pregnant and will be a help for your parents grocery bill as well.

As far as pro's and cons go. Pro's you will mature MUCH faster than your friends. And you will be a playful Mom.

Cons...are a plenty unfortunately, financial obligation, responsibility, loss of social life.

Shoot! It's tough as an adult to go through a pregnancy, childbirth and raising a child. I would have never been able to do it at 15. that's just my honest opinion. BTW did you see JUNO? that was a good movie. In the long run do what you want. If your parents are not willing to be EXCESSIVELY supportive for the next 5 years at least I would consider other options. You are going to need your parents more than you will ever know. A baby changes EVERYTHING. There are some teen pregnancy groups and such. Perhaps you can find some of the answers you are looking for there.

Best of luck to you and your lil peanut in utero.

Shele

Answer 3

The only possible pro I can think of is having the energy for pregnancy and having a newborn.



However the cons definitely outweigh the pros. I have two younger cousins that both had children when they were 16 and life has been a struggle for them. Now that they're a little older things are starting to slowly fall into place for them but they missed out on a lot of the fun things that teenagers get to experience. Having a newborn baby takes a lot of patience and some teenagers are self-centered and lack patience (sorry...I may just be assuming this but I have 3 teenage brothers...so that's the impression I get). There's no way I could see my brothers or their friends taking care of a baby right now.



But hey...it happens all the time. Good luck to you!



**Oh yeah...and neither of my younger cousins is still with their baby's daddy...that lasted maybe a year after the baby was born.

Answer 4

One of my cousins was 15 when she had her first child. My other was 17. I'm 18 and that's still young so I'm not going to bash you for getting pregnant at a young age.



I know I'm gonna get some thumb downs but I don't give a hoot.



Personally I can't think of any pros to having a child in the teen years. Sure, we will be young and be able to keep up with our children but people in their 20s can do that. There are also problems associated with women that are older who are having a child, that sometimes we don't have to worry about but having said that, teen parents do have health issues during pregnancy.



It's important to get early prenatal care.Teen pregnancies carry extra health risks to the mother and the baby. Often, teenagers don't receive timely prenatal care, and they have a higher risk for pregnancy-related high blood pressure and its complications. Risks for the baby include premature birth and a low birthweight.



My 15 year old cousin didn't have a premature birth or any complications. Her child is now 11. Her sister had her first child at age 17 and she did have a pre mature birth.



People also judge teen mom's. My cousin in her teen years was looked down by older society people, mainly because she had sex before marriage( she married the baby's father before baby came). My other cousin was looked down on because she was unmarried and a man of another race fathered her child.



Despite the belief you can still finish high school being a parent. You don't necessary have to be dropped out of high school. You will need family support as well as fiancial help to care for a child. I know where I live you can get a working permit at age 14 so you might already have a job or whatever.



As for adoption.



If you like to hang out with your friends like every weekend and go to parties, then if you keep your baby, this would have to stop as caring for a baby is 24/7( except when your in school).



Some of your friends may stop coming around if you keep your baby or you might loose some of your friends, this happened to my cousin but she loved her baby so it didn't really bother her.



My cousin when she was your age didn't do drugs or party wildly or drink so she didn't have a problem with that.



If you decide adoption is best for you and the child, its your decision, talk to your parents to see what they would think because its their grand baby. Don't let anyone convince you adoption is best if you don't think its best for you. Some regret giving up their baby. Don't do something that you might later regret. Its you to you and you only.



You can be a mother at age 15 and succeed. Sure your life will change, you wont be able to do some of the stuff you might be used to and you will leave a teen and become an adult.

My cousins did it. I'm doing it. I'm sure you can too.

Answer 5

Oh sweetie. I feel for you. I don't think many people know what you are going through.



Babies are wonderful, they are soft and warm and cuddly. However, they are a ton of work and they take more love than they give!



I honestly can't think of many pros of having a baby at 15. but there are many cons. How will you be able to support a baby? how will you go to school and take care of the baby? Do you know the average newborn baby wakes up every two hours for almost the first 6 months, depending on the baby? What does the babies father say?



I know your getting it from your parents, but remember they are scared for you, they love you and they probably feel as though they have failed you somehow. (Which they haven't) they will calm down. Talk to them and LET them help you make a decision. You won't be able to do any of this on your own.



Good luck!

Answer 6

Pros:

Not killing it. :]





Cons:

Hard to finish school.

Might not be able to supposed.

You'll be up all night sometimes with your baby.

Many sleepless nights.

No free time to yourself.

Pretty much no fun, unless it includes your baby.

No preparation.

Single parent, the father probably won't help much. But I dunno.

Lots of stares and talk.

Going through a labor, that's going to hurt like hell, at a young age.

Just being a young parent all together, would be hard.





It's fun raising a child, but having one that young, I can't see it as being anything that good. But, yeah, I wouldn't kill it either. :]



I know you said your thinking about adoption. That's good. We've adopted our oldest. It's a good thing to do. And not as hard to deal with.

I got pregnant with my first at 18, and gave birth at 19. And that was hard. I can't imagine being 15 and pregnant.



Good luck with your decision.

Hope this helps.

Answer 7

You are very right when you say you don't need any crap from people. If they don't like it then they should look for another question to answer.



I am sure your parents are upset, they have every right to be. They need to let it sink in and calm down. Hopefully they are open minded about this and come to you to help you through this. You should not have to deal with this alone. My daughters are only 8, 6, & 4. I would be mad as hell, but I would want them to know they are not alone and I will be there for them through anything.



There are many pros & cons to being pregnant ant any age I think.



At a young age you are not really sure of what goes on with your body. I'm 39 and still learning new things. I had my 1st at 30. Nobody ever told me how hard it was going ot be. I was scared to death to actually go through the birthing thing. Not sure what to expect. Nobody told me how much it would hurt after you have the baby. It did not hurt me giving birth cause I had the epidural ASAP. It husrt after, the healing process. I had a hard time going through it at 30 I cannot imagine any young girls doing it. And doing it all by themsleves if their parents have nothing ot do with them.



I think I would have to know how your parents feel and what they think and if they want to help you out and be there for you before I could really tell you the pros & cons. A lot of that really depends on them along with the baby's father & his parents. I think that if have all the suport from both sides or more so from your family then i think it could be alright.





You would really want to finish school all the way through and college too. If you did this you would really need your parents suport. Without them you really are own your own and that's a big con.



We all know that you'll wont be able to go out and live on your own, you'll have to stay with your parents and get their help. You really need your moms suport for this, this is a must. Without her suport you will be on your own and that's a big con.



I think putting the baby up for adopting would be a hard thing to do for anyone. But, if you do not have your parents suport, this might be an option.



I really think that at your age your parents being there for you is the most importnant thing- without that, your whole pregnancy is a big con. If they aren't yet, give them time. I hope for your sake they come around. You are their daughter, and that should mean something. No matter what you do. After they have settled down you should talk to them about how you feel and what you think. See what they are willing to do for you and how they can help you finish school if you decide to keep the baby.



It will be hard. But rewarding at the same time. On being a mother.

Once you become a mother you are responsible for another life. You have to be there for that baby. You cnanot go out with your friends when you want to. Your baby is your life. Sure, you can go out sometimes, but your baby comes first. Whenyour friends are on Spring Break you will be with your son or daughter. Unless you decide to take them on a family spring break that's fun for a child.





Once you become a mother being irresponsible is not an option.





My best goes out to you and I hope your parents come around. Like I said, they just need time.

Answer 8

They are pros and cons for any mother but much more when you are young.

PROS:

1.Will be able to keep up with the baby when it gets older.

2. Be able to do things that they will like and you should be able to like.

3. Know every trick in the book and they wont be able to get away with anything.

CONS:

1. Your body is not done growning.

2. A chance of low birth weight and problems with the baby.

3. Might have to quite school to take care of baby.

4. Wont be able to have fun as in go out on weekands and be with friends.

5. Have to get up every few hours at night.

I was 17 when i got pregnant and 18 when i had my daughter is it hard to be a young mom i had to quite school to take care of my daughter. I love her and wouldnt change it for the wrold how but its the hardest thing that any young person to go throught. If you put your mind to it then you can do anything you want. When i look at my daughter i feel apart of me that makes me cry when i look at her because i was young when i had her and that i should have wated. There is also parts when i would love to go throught it again and you'll know what i mean when you have your baby. One other thing i would like to tell you is that my family wanted me to have aboration and put her up for adoption and i didnt want to. I told them that i couldnt live with the thoguht that i had gave my baby to somebody that i didnt know and if she was being taking care of, or what she looked like if they have told her about me. I couldnt live with the thought without knowing my daughter.

Answer 9

This is not really a pro and con situation.



EVERY parent of any age have "pros and cons" about being a parent.That's just how parenting goes.



What you have to consider is the facts.



Are you willing to give up your life and freedom for someone else?



Are you willing to put and education after high school on the back burner for a while?



Are you prepared to pay for this child yourself?(tax payers and your parents shouldn't have to pay for your kid)



Are you willing to work 3x harder than the average fifteen year old?(school, work,baby and of course...life)



Are you prepared to raise this child alone if the father wants nothing to do with him/her?



Are you prepared for any complications that may arise during pregnancy or afterwards? (including physical or mental abnormalities with the child)



Are you prepared for midnight feedings and colic bouts?



Are you prepared to stay up all night if your child is sick?



Are you prepared to hand your newborn over to strangers if you decide to give him/her up for adoption? Are you prepared to live the next 18 years of your life knowing your child is out there somewhere but you have no clue how he/she is being raised?



The list can go on and on.I am not trying to scare you or anything...its just that this is what being a parent is.Of course there are many pros as well...being a parent is one of the hardest things you can do, but also one of the most rewarding things as well.



Everyone in your household will be affected by this child too so you have to consider their feelings as well.





Good luck to both of you.

Answer 10

There aren't many pros if im honest. I suppose one pro is that when your baby is older, you'll still be young enough to go to school/college or further your education some way. The cons, im sure you're parents have already given you the riot act so I wont even bother mentioning those. You'll need all the support and help you can get from them. Another thing, drop the attitude! it shows your immaturity!

Answer 11

Looking back now, don't you wish you would have told your boyfriend NO. If you are so against abortion, then why did you have sex at such a young age? So you are okay with just giving your baby away? That would be the hardest thing in the world. Can't you mom help you raise your baby? It will be hard, but not as hard as it would be if you gave away your baby.





if only you had said NO

Answer 12

I think the only pro is the pro of all parents, that you get a beautiful baby, at the end of your nine months

Answer 13

The Cons -

* No Money

* Unable to go out as much

* Harder for education

* Massive responsibility

* Ruins Social life

* Harder to find romance ( If your not with the babies father)

* No time for yourself

* Lack of Sleep.





The Pros...



???????

Answer 14

pros

your healthy as you will ever be

you enjoy a child in your life

cons

it is finacaly difficult

emotionally taxing

it is highly stereotyped

Answer 15

If you can handle taking care of a baby, then go ahead. It is your baby, so you can do whatever you want and just don't act stupid and be responsible when you have this baby.

Answer 16

no pros. just cons

Answer 17

Con - you are 15.

Answer 18

flower could not have answered it better

Answer 19

Really, there are no pros.

Answer 20

Ever hear of adoption? Thats an option too. Don't be selfish.

Answer 21

No pros at all.



Raising kids is hard. Raising kids is expensive.



But honestly, you are a child yourself. If you were adult you would have made SURE this did not happen.



If you want you and your child to both have decent lives really give adoption a good think over. The baby would be in a family that has its act together, you can still finish college, and still have a shot at a normal life. Parenthood at 15 will make this all impossible. Just think, you could be a grandmother by 30!!



Honey, you are not going to find many happy and successful adults in this world you had mothers only 15 years older then themselves. That fact alone should show you that this is not a good situation.