Question:
How would you handle this bullying situation?
Willow
2008-07-14 07:27:22 UTC
ok..so throughout the school year two gilrs were bullying my daughter. I contacted the school 6 times regarding this. The girls were "talked too" even though they have a no bullying policy but no further action was done. I contacted the super at the end of the year to tell her my frustrations anout this was handled. Basically her response was what did you want me to do? Wed one of the girls Im'd my daughter under a different user name because she blocked the original one and stated saying nasty things to her and then her friends started texting my daughter. So on Friday my daughter started receiving text messages while these girls were at a school camp saying really nasty things to her. My daughter DOES NOT go to the camp
I called the school and they took down the cell phone numbers
and the head of the camp called me and said that he will investigate it. He finally called me and said that the original girl who was bullying her put the other girl up to it and the other who is a counse
Eight answers:
Margaret K
2008-07-14 07:56:42 UTC
Since you have been told by the school that the girls were responsible for the behavior, you might consider calling the police to see if this harassment is criminal behavior. Not long ago a child committed suicide due to electronic harassment. The police might take your complaint seriously. I would continue to complain.



In answer to the question about what they should do, they should suspend the children from the camp for violating the policy against bullying, of course. Perhaps a 3 day suspension, or even a 1 day suspension, will get the parents attention. They should have a published policy for how to discipline children for violations of school policy, and the discipline should get progressively more severe, with repeat incidents resulting in suspension or expulsion. Consult the handbook and see what it says the school should do, and then ask the superintendent why they are not following that procedure. Since the school superintendent did nothing, perhaps you could contact your State Representative, and ask for help. You might also contact a civil rights lawyer and ask if there is an legal recourse in suing the school for failing to prevent this bullying. It might be possible to pay a small fee to get a lawyer to write a letter to the school and or the parents of the kids. Sometimes, just a letter on legal letterhead will get people's attention, even if you did not intend to take it any further.



You also might want to get a new cell phone number for your daughter, and advise her to be more selective about who she shares the number with. And, overall, you might want to set some limits on your daughter's texting, now that your family has experienced the dangerous side of texting.



Consider enrolling your daughter in a self defense course like judo or karate. Sometimes, just the knowledge that you could defend yourself is a confidence builder.



Your child might benefit from some counselling or assertiveness training to help her explore new ways to manage her relationships. It is not her fault that this happened, but there is some reason that these bullies chose her, in particular, to pick on. For some reason, she seemed vulnerable to them. There may be some new tactics that she could learn that will make prospective bullies more reluctant to pick on her in the future.



Also, anything that you can do to help your child build a stronger emotional support system, with friends who help her feel safe and loved, can help. Encourage her to participate in activities or join groups until she finds one she is comfortable with, with friends who "click" with her. Bullies tend to pick on victims who seem to have less "backup". If she is surrounded and supported by friends, she will be less of a target.
Babz
2008-07-14 07:54:16 UTC
I am furious just reading this!! I feel so sorry for your daughter and your family. I know this can be very hard. I went thru the exact same thing some years ago at my daughters school. I also went down and complained and they just talked to them and no punishment was handed out for the girls. Even though we had a zero tolerence at the school for bullying. What happened then is I took it to the board and ranted and raved where I insisted on action so this doesnt happen again and told them if they had a zero tolerence for this then I told them to prove it to the students and IT WORKED! You have to be very aggresive and show them you are not going to just sweep this under the carpet so to speak. And then you will see results. Good luck to you and your family and I hope all works out.
kitkat
2008-07-14 07:47:02 UTC
Actually I know someone who went through this. My advice is start with the school board. File a complaint against the principal and super for not handling this. It becomes public record and they will DO something to avoid the repercussions to their career's. Second call the police and file harassment charges. Get detailed police reports and a restraining order. Turn copies over to the school and you can possibly force the bully to have to change schools. If these are still getting you no where then file in small claims court for damages. Hitting the parents pocketbooks may force them to change their child's behavior.
Mommy2Carmen
2008-07-14 07:47:14 UTC
Is there another school your daughter could go to in your area? Is there a way you would be able to drop her off if needed? I know that is dramatic but sometimes the only choice. The way schools are now days I would not want to go back to school, kids are so damn harsh these days, I could only imagine getting bullied on top of it. If you call your provider and tell them that your daughter is being harrassed and dont be afraid to give numbers they should be abel to change your daughters cell number this one time for free. But you have to tell them its harrassment. Only give it to family and a friend who is very trustworthy and wont even tell anybody she even knows her new one. She needs to get a different email account and not even get on the other one if she cant delete it. The way to make bullies mad is to let them think they are not getting thru...if they look at her tell her to look at something else, if they make noises at her tell her to act like she does not even hear it. If they stare her down, tell her to waive at them and smile...this will make them mad knowing that it does not bother her. If she had to go back to the same school I would contact the principal at the beggining of the year and quote the zero bully tolerance policy to him if you have to. Good Luck in your decisions. And remind her that as soon as she graduates it will all be over, people dont bully in the real world. Maybe they are just jealous of your daughter???
Mynameis
2008-07-14 07:41:32 UTC
These girls have parents, contact the parents and talk to them in person. Inform them of the seriousness of the situation and let them know that if they do not do something about this you will take further action with the police department or get an attorney involved. This should be enough to get them to take notice and do something about their child's behavior.



If they laugh it off and tell you there is nothing you can do about it tell them you will be placing your daughter in therapy due to their children's bullying and you will be sending THEM the bill.
Kara
2008-07-14 07:36:41 UTC
call the police, its turned into harassment. Your daughter doesnt need that kind of crap in her life. I hope it gets better for her. Good luck
summergal
2008-07-14 07:37:28 UTC
I'd change her cell phone number and change schools, that school district sounds messed up in my opinion.
ProudMom_of_2_gorgeous_boys
2008-07-14 07:35:36 UTC
bullying is an offence.. call the cops! itll scare those 2 girls off.


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