I'm a Single Dad. How do I go about giving my baby up for Adoption?

Question

Ok so I'm a young single Dad and here's the story, I have a 7 month old baby and my Girlfriend just decided she didn't want to be a mother and walked out. I had encouraged her to go through with the pregnancy and said I would be there for her always and that we could have a family together. So she had the baby, but then afterwards she got extremely depressed and never developed that bond. She is very young, attractive, a big party girl, and she has this dream of becoming an Actress. So she just walked out one night and left a note saying that she was going to Los Angeles to pursue her dream and that she wasn't equipped to be a mother and deal with the "burden". For the past several months I've been alone with our baby and have no help or support, its really hard for me without my Girlfriend and I don't feel I can do it on my own. I've been living in my mom's house and she barely helps at all and I have to work and go to school. I feel so overwhelmed. I feel like the best thing for my baby would be to give him up. My aunt (my mother's sister) said she would be interested in adopting him. How do I get started?

Answer 1

Wow-- this is quite a sad state of affairs, but at least you are being

a responsible father, even if that means giving up your baby.



I would contact a crisis pregnancy center as they probably have info

on how to go about giving your baby up for adoption.



Have you considered keeping your baby and looking into

government help with money and childcare?

Answer 2

Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for your child is to allow someone else to care for him and raise him. It's never an easy decision, but keeping him in the family is a good idea. However, the best place for a baby is with a parent, if it is safe and possible.



Have you looked into childcare? If you have a lower income, there are places that will provide childcare that are subsidized by the government. Or maybe your aunt can care for your baby until you are done with school. Hopefully, it won't be long.



I can see that you love your son, but yes, parenting is possibly the absolute hardest thing in the world to do, even in a two-parent household. I pray that you will make a good decision and that your baby will grow up in a loving home.

Answer 3

If you had to encourage her to go through with the pregnancy then you should have anticipated she might not stick around. You pressured her into having your baby and now you are the one wanting to throw in the towel. I guess you are the typical man who assumed the mother would do all the work while you go out and be the "breadwinner" huh? If your aunt really wants to adopt him you'll have to consult a lawyer to help you get the paperwork and everything done.



Btw, for all you ladies reading this let this be a lesson that you can NEVER trust a man when he says he is going to pony up to the responsibility.

Answer 4

So you encouraged her to be a mother but now you don't want to be a father?

Don't accuse her for walking out when you're trying to take that same route.



It doesn't matter what you want to be in life. Once you have a child, it's not like disposing of an animal that you don't want. You can't just take them to the humane society and drop them off and in the future they'll forget about it once they've got a nice new owner.



You have feelings, don't you?



Yes babies don't have memories for awhile and yes they might not be able to distinguish from heart break and loss, but they WILL once their new family tells them that both their mother and father had unprotected sex and just didn't want to deal with what came out of it.



You CAN do it on your own. If you have a good family connection then that's all the support you need. God doesn't need to come down here and hold your hand to take care of a baby. It should be instinct and you have it inside of you if you would just search for it.

Answer 5

adoption might seem the only answer but your baby looks up to you. its a human being you just cant get rid of it like a puppy. in the long run you will regret giving up your baby for adoption even if your aunt is willing. regret not seeing him/ her grow up or saying dada for the first time or being there when they get their heartbroken. give your baby lots of love they only have YOU in their life. if no one is around to help you, try asking the government for some help.



YOU were there for the 7 months of your baby's life, why is it difficult now?



YOU will come over the difficulties in life



be there for your child because they love you



and remember, everything has a solution except death :)



stay strong<33



-ericka

Answer 6

Sounds more to me like you are concerned with doing the best thing for YOU...not the best thing for the baby. Dude...it's your SON!!! Yeah the baby might be cramping your lifestyle and you might have to give up on your dreams but whether you believe it or not it will be worth it once you get out of the baby stage and move on towards toddler.



Mistakes have consequences...stop being selfish. The best thing for any child is to be raised by one or both PARENTS. NOBODY will ever care for your son the way you will and nobody will raise your son with YOUR values except for you. Giving the baby up for adoption is only setting yourself up for a whole lot of regret when you are older and financially stable.



I suggest you dump school for now...make an arrangement with your Aunt, maybe she can watch the baby while you are at work. And when you are not at work take that kid out shopping at walmart or the supermarket...babies are chick magnets for a lot of women and the GOOD women are always on the lookout for a responsible, hard working, PROVEN good father type of guys. Won't be long and you will have a girlfriend to help out as well.



I made a lot of personal sacrifices when my wife got pregnant 3.5 years ago and to be honest there was not much satisfaction with Fatherhood the first 15 months or so and I felt at times like I had made a mistake agreeing to have a child. But man it gets sooooooo much better. The turning point for me was when my son hit about 18 months and told me quite clearly one day "daddy I love you sooooo much" followed by a big hug. My heart just melted and in that one instance all the sacrifices I had made no longer mattered to me...all that mattered to me was raising my son and doing the best for HIM that I possible could.



Living my life for myself is over, I now live my life to serve his life and I love it!!! I work 10-12 hours a day but when I get home I wash up for 5 minutes then plop my tired butt on the floor and play with hot wheels cars with my son for another 2 hours and I would not trade that for the world.



You really should do what you can to keep that child...but if you just want to take the easy way out it is best to do it now because I guarantee you if you wait another year you will want to kick yourself in the butt because you won't believe you had actually thought about giving that child away...and you will also be very happy that you did not abandon your child when he really needs his daddy the most.

Answer 7

Oh Suck it up! single mom's do it all the time. Also you can't just give a baby to someone like it's a parting gift.



And one more thing I saw that movie too, it was on Lifetime last week and at the end you take the baby to your cousins house (it was a cousin in the movie) and after one week you realize what a mistake you made and you go get the baby back. Oh and your girlfriend ends up dead on the sunset strip after she turns to prostitution and drugs.

Answer 8

if your aunt is willing to adopt you need to go to an attorney and sign over guardianship. will she just help you out without making it all legal? it can be pretty expensive, also the mother will still need to sign over her birth rights.

Answer 9

If your aunt have an interest in the baby then give it to her and that's it.

If you want the formalities then write an agreement with her to take care of the baby and be responsible for it so you don't get sued for child neglect and abandonment.

Search online for adoption agencies. There are many parents who would be happy to adopt the baby especially at this young age.

Answer 10

I'm so sorry to hear that your going through this.

im 17 and gave my daughter up for adoption and its the best decision i ever made.



first you'll have to get a lawyer, you and your aunt together. the fees aren't nice but its the only legal way to do things. tell them what your planning to do, open adoption or closed and go from there. the lawyer will do most of the paperwork and everything for you, when all is done you go to court and sign papers.

best of luck to you.

Answer 11

You are extremely selfosh, I feel sorry for the little guy, neither one of his parents love him. That's very sad.

Answer 12

Why would you do that? It's a baby,that you made, not a football you can pawn off to someone else.

Answer 13

SO, you pressured her to keep the child, then when she developed post partum depression you just ignored it until she walked out. Now, you want to give the child who has bonded with you up for adoption. And abortion never crossed your mind? You make me sick. kids are not an option. They don't just go away when the going gets tough.



How about seeking actual legal counsel instead of looking on the internet?



P.S. Parenting is "tough". And millions of single parents do it without throwing their kids out.