should i let my ex have anything to do with my daughter?

Question

me and my ex split up 3 years ago now after been together for 13 months. whilst i was pregnant he was violent by smashing holes in walls in my apartment and throwing things at me. we split up when i was 10 weeks pregnant. after i had my daughter he wanted everything to do with her all the time, then we got bk together wen my daughter was 9 months old. we started living together, he used to work away all week and then on weekends would go out all weekend getting wrecked and not spending anytime with us, which was good, but if he decided to stay in he would smash the house up and once through the telly through the patio window and he once tried to strangle me. this went on till my daughter was nearly 2 years, then we split up.

after we split up he used to send me messages saying that he was going to come round my place and set it on fire and kill me and my daughter and say he was going to kill my mom and dad. he never used to give me any money for my daughter.

when me and my boyfriend got together things got worse and text messages got more affensive and was including my new boyfriend. me and my boyfriend now live together and my ex has been seen standing outside my house watching my house ive told the police.

my ex got a new gf about 6 months ago and he has beated her now 4 times while been with her, he doesnt really want anything to do woth my daughter but his mom does what do you think i should do, i feel like just cutting them all off???

my daughter goes to his mom and dads every weekend for a few hours on a sunday.

Answer 1

That's for a judge to decide. Not you.

Answer 2

First, I commend you for letting your daughters father see her. My ex spouse won't enable me to verify our little ones in any respect. I havent seen them in 2 years. All via fact shes bitter. If I have been you i might tell him the schedule could be a prevalent schedule. If he cant %. her up on the scheduled day then he needs to enable you recognize properly past to time and then he can wait till at last the subsequent scheduled day. If he doesnt like it, Oh properly. perhaps hell make extra of an attempt to get her whilst hes meant to if he particularly needs to verify her.

Answer 3

I've been there,and know what you are going through. BUT, you must make records of everything. Keep a journal, and keep records of text messages. Take it to court.

If you don't go to court, you can be held for kidnapping, because until there is a restraining order, and a custody order, you both have rights to the child.

Answer 4

I think you are not being fair to his parents to cut them off just because hes an ***. Do they take good care of her when they have her? Is she safe and loved? If so then it would not be a good thing to take them away from your daughter - im sure she loves them.



As for him - keep your distance and dont see him any more than you have to.



PEOPLE: parents are no longer responsible for the actions of their adult children.

Answer 5

Your child's father should have nothing to do with her. However please don't punish the grandparents for the fathers mistakes. I would however not allow the child to be in the grandparents home with out you. You ex could show up and do God only knows what. Let the grandparents come to your home or meet in the park for visits. The police should be informed of all the times he watches you,texts you,call, whatever he does.Keep records of all his bs.

Answer 6

Sounds like my life all over, my dad was exactly the same. He beat my mom, he now and always has beat my step mom too. He never hit me, but near close to it. I don't trust him at all nor would I trust him with a child of mine. I believe you should cut all ties with the whole family as they are just influencing your level headed choices. If they are really serious about spending time with your child, maybe supervised visits with a third party in the room as well to mediate. Never leave your child with him!!!! He could run away with her and then you will never forgive yourself!

Answer 7

Ex is violent and bad news by the sound of it but grandparents also have rights..I think i would be inclined to invite them to you to visit rather than let your daughter go there,just in case he's around..Please note,i wouldn't normally agree with denying a father access to his child but given the circumstances i think caution is required here............

Answer 8

What a difficult situation!



Well, you definately shouldn't allow your daughter alone with the father. You should make sure he can spend time with her if he chooses though, but make sure it is a supervised visit. Bring someone bigger then him to the visit just in case he tried to start something.



I don't know how I would leave my daughter at a grandparents knowing that he could potentially show up and kidnap her or hurt her. I would have to stay with her. Nothing against the grandparents, but they will never believe that their precious baby boy is a psycho! So, they will absolutely let him come over when they have your daughter, even if they tell you otherwise.

Answer 9

What he did to you and is doing to his new girlfriend will happen to your daughter. It is up to you to prevent that. Keep a copy of all texts. Any police reports and pictures receipts of damage. Unless this is court ordered to go see the grandparents, I'd petition the court to end his parenting rights. You could always offer him money to sign away his rights. Of course it would be wise to check with a lawyer first. The farther you keep him away from your daughter, the happier her life will be.

Answer 10

You will need to go to court to air it out. I hope you saved some of those messages of him threatening. I would also pull the police reports to be presented in court.



He will definitely get supervised access if the allegations are true, and also be told to take a anger management course as well as a parenting class. Once he has completed those courses and been observed as a fit parent, it will graduate into unsupervised.



gl.

Answer 11

Get a court order to suspend his visitation rights on the account that he has a history of severe violence. There was a court case recently where a woman was rejected by the judge to suspend her ex husband's visitation rights because he said he was going to kill her and the baby, the judge ignored her request and the ex husband did, in fact kill himself and the child during one of his court ordered unsupervised visits.



This was featured on Dr. Phil a few weeks ago along with a lot of information about proving your case when you are a domestic violence victim, and I recommend you look it up.

Answer 12

What a sick bastard.

I think he deserves to go to jail.

NO ONE should be treated like that.



And to answer your question, no.