What to do with lazy 14 yr old daughter?

Question

I have a 14 year old daughter who does nothing. Absolutely nothing. She quit all activities like sports and arts so she can sit around all day on the computer playing mine craft. She almost failed her eighth grade because she did no school work. Although it's summer, she literally sleeps all day and does nothing to help around the house but is on Skype all night with boys that I have never heard of.
When the family asks her to help around the house or do anything she has a huge got and throws and cries and screams. She calls everyone horrible names and thinks she's superior. I have tried taking away electronics but she always finds them and grounding doesn't do anything
Is there a way to discipline her? Or make her change her behavior ?

Answer 1

Over the years Minecraft has become a more addictive game.

What you should do is turn off the wifi for a few hours. Take her electronics away and say to her "Until I see some improvement you will not be getting these back". Maybe some kind of tutoring might help with school work?

If she is on skype with some boys you do not know, You should make some kind of rule that if you have any kind of electronic on at night it will be confiscated. Then just keep rising the time (E.g. 5 days- 1 week- 2 weeks)

Take a walk out somewhere nice and just tell her the fact that youare concerned about her. Also a good thing to tell her is that if she starts getting things right you will reward her.

I hope this helps as I am not from America.

Answer 2

This maybe a case beyond simple "defiant" behavior, since simple punishment didn't work, and she may not be able to stop what she is doing to herself. She needs you to be there for her as she is going through something that she can't control and may need medical and/or psychological help. She must be a little scared on the inside, but won't admit it to you or herself, about what she is doing and what is driving her to do it. The electronics need to be gone from the house in a place that she can't get to until she is better and can use the equipment responsibly. Remember that 14 yr olds can't weigh out consequences of their actions properly like adults can because they have had very little experience doing so, even though they are trying and don't know better. They underestimate the harm and damage of what they want to do and underestimate the good that recommended behavior can do for them.



Imagine if she wasn't on the electronics and stopped doing stuff, including school work, and instead she's in bed hour after hour after hour that would definitely be a medical or psychological problem that need urgent help.

Answer 3

When it's such a change in behavior, I would have her physically examined and a psychiatrist could find out if it's a chemical imbalance. Some behavior can be lazy, but it can also be caused by a physical, chemical or emotional problem. So take care of that first.

Then you have to take some personal responsibility. You are allowing her to sit and do nothing, scream and act out. If she disrespects you then there's no leverage to help her. Also, don't keep her techno stuff where she can find it. I know it's very difficult with a stubborn teenager, but you have to stay strong and hold on. Don't let go. Don't give up. Something's definitely going on and you're the detective.

Answer 4

I'm around your daughter's age and my parent's are very strict about electronics and I get in a lot of trouble if I say a rude word. I'm not allowed any electronics and my room and there's restrictions of my laptop so that I can only go on for about 2 hours a day from 9am to 7pm with a break from 11:30-1pm. This actually helps quite a lot, though its very annoying as I have to make sure I'm doing work the whole time I'm on the computer otherwise I won't get my homework completed. I would definitely suggest you do this.

You can make a deal with your daughter - for example - an hour of sports outside = 2 hours of computer time. This will hopefully encourage her to exercise.

You can also make a punishment for swearing - maybe a fixed amount taken off her pocket money?

And when she does something good make sure that she knows that you noticed and if it's big - reward her!

Answer 5

Take away her electronics for a month each time she starts acting out like that. Turn off the internet for a while. Be consistent with it. If her behavior improves within the course of the month that her devices have been taken away, DO NOT give it them back to her, she will go back to her old ways. Be consistent with your punishments. Set some ground rules where she can only use her electronics for a certain amount of time a day. Explain her behavior and do some outdoor activities with her (camping, water parks, etc) to show her life. I'm 14 years old and I have a cousin who is the same exact way. He's always talking to a bunch of girls all across the country that he's never even met, has friends that live right next door that he doesn't even take the time to hang out with. He'd rather text them instead. Even had something happen with a pedophile posing as a 15 year old girl asking for explicit pictures of him.



Show her the meaning of life. Teach her that she doesn't need her devices. Make her get back into sports. Visit with your family more often, but do NOT insult her for what she does. Don't tell her that she's gonna grow up to be useless or anything like that. Encourage her. Make her do all these things with you as a family.



I visit my cousin every other week and from the description you made of your daughter, they seem to be exactly the same. I struggle with trying to get my cousin to come outside. Tried to build a little fort with him but he always wants to be on his phone. Never wants to take the time to step outside and do something.



I'd also suggest showing her every response you've gotten on Yahoo Answers from this question you've asked. That kind of behavior your daughter displays is NOT normal. It's ****** weird man.

Answer 6

My brother is the same way. He is also 14. He does ABSOLUTELY nothing. My parents have done VERY well in disciplining him and overcoming this problem: They locked his electronics (ALL OF THEM) in a safe, and do not allow him to be on the Xbox (took the cord), and they require things of him in order for him to get those privileges back. Because having things, such as a computer or such, are indeed PRIVILEGES that you, as her parent, have a RIGHT to take away from her. In order for my brother to get 30 minutes of Xbox time, he has to do a chore for my parents. Do this!! It works WONDERS



Also, she is 14 and Skyping boys at night??? NO NO NO NO NO!!!! Do NOT allow her to have a computer or other electronic in her room at night, or even EVER. She could be doing any sort of inappropriate thing, and you would have no idea. When she skypes or uses the computer she should be in a PUBLIC place where you can walk up behind her and see what she is doing without her having the ability to minimize what she is doing before you get there.



Also remind her that if she quits everything and sits around doing nothing all the time, her laziness WILL catch up to her and she will end up being a deadbeat working at McDonalds or some other awful minimum wage paying job.

Or she'll end up on the streets.

Simple as that.

Answer 7

She needs you to be there for her as she is going through something that she can't control and may need medical and/or psychological help. She must be a little scared on the inside, but won't admit it to you or herself, about what she is doing and what is driving her to do it. The electronics need to be gone from the house in a place that she can't get to until she is better and can use the equipment responsibly. Remember that 14 yr olds can't weigh out consequences of their actions properly like adults can because they have had very little experience doing so, even though they are trying and don't know better. They underestimate the harm and damage of what they want to do and underestimate the good that recommended behavior can do for them.

Answer 8

My brother is the same way. He is also 14. He does ABSOLUTELY nothing. My parents have done VERY well in disciplining him and overcoming this problem: They locked his electronics (ALL OF THEM) in a safe, and do not allow him to be on the Xbox (took the cord), and they require things of him in order for him to get those privileges back. Because having things, such as a computer or such, are indeed PRIVILEGES that you, as her parent, have a RIGHT to take away from her. In order for my brother to get 30 minutes of Xbox time, he has to do a chore for my parents. Do this!! It works WONDERS



Also, she is 14 and Skyping boys at night??? NO NO NO NO NO!!!! Do NOT allow her to have a computer or other electronic in her room at night, or even EVER. She could be doing any sort of inappropriate thing, and you would have no idea. When she skypes or uses the computer she should be in a PUBLIC place where you can walk up behind her and see what she is doing without her having the ability to minimize what she is doing before you get there.



Also remind her that if she quits everything and sits around doing nothing all the time, her laziness WILL catch up to her and she will end up being a deadbeat working at McDonalds or some other awful minimum wage paying job.

Or she'll end up on the streets.

Simple as that.



I hope this helps!

Answer 9

Perhaps she is more interested into the computer than she is with other stuff. Maybe she enjoys talking with boys on Skype. Just because you haven't heard of them doesn't mean they are bad. Ask your daughter if anything is upsetting her at school and try and figure out where this is coming from. As being a teen sometimes we need time away from our parents in order to do our own thing. It might be a really tough place in life for her right now.



But I also understand your point of view as well. I go to counseling and my therapists has taught me some nice physiological tricks that you can use to make here do some work around the house.



First she really likes the electronics, so in order to make her do work around the house tell her to get off of the computer and take it away. Tell her what she needs to do don't ask her. If she refuses then tell her she's not getting the computer.



Tell her that if she does the work then the computer is right here for her to have. If she still refuses than you can try doing this:



Do all the things I said before but tell her a list of things that needs to be done. But make sure that you include things in the list that you were already going to do. For example say you were going to take out the trash and you wanted her to vacuum than say this:



In order to get back on the computer you can either vacuum or take out the trash. Which ever one you pick I will help you and do the other.



This will most likely work because she thinks that since you are doing it as well than she is equal to you.



These things don't guarantee success but they are likely to work. Also if you are concerned about the boys I wouldn't recommend it because I think kids should have privacy but you can check up on their messages. Hope this helped.

Answer 10

She needs you to be there for her as she is going through something that she can't control and may need medical and/or psychological help. She must be a little scared on the inside, but won't admit it to you or herself, about what she is doing and what is driving her to do it. The electronics need to be gone from the house in a place that she can't get to until she is better and can use the equipment responsibly. Remember that 14 yr olds can't weigh out consequences of their actions properly like adults can because they have had very little experience doing so, even though they are trying and don't know better. They underestimate the harm and damage of what they want to do and underestimate the good that recommended behavior can do for them.

Answer 11

She could just be being lazy but she could also be struggling with mental health issues. I have bipolar disorder and when I am depressed, I sleep up to 18 hours a day. I want to do good in school and I know its important for my future but I lack the motivation. She probably doesn't think she's superior. A mental health condition can make someone feel exhausted even if they barely do anything. Taking out the trash and doing small chores around the house can be a big deal for someone who is mentally ill. Instead of calling her lazy and disciplining her, try talking to her and making sure she's okay. I'd take her to see a psychiatrist. If nobody finds anything wrong, I would discipline her. But right now you don't know if discipline is what she really needs.

Answer 12

My granddaughter seemed lazy and would read all night and not get up until near suppertime on weekends.. She didn't do well in school and didn't do any activities at school or at home. Her Mom took her to the doctor and they put her on an antianxiety/antidepressant med and she improved.



The teen years are hard and made harder if you aren't in a clique or a member of a group. Your daughter may not be able to express her feelings to you, other than in a negative way. She might need some counseling to be able to voice her feelings. She may not even understand why she is doing these things or know how to stop.



You might want to call the school counselor( they are in) or her doctor's office and talk to the nurse. They see this type of problem and should be able to help.

Answer 13

Regarding the fact that she seems like she doesn't want to do anything but sleep unless she is on the computer, she could be suffering from depression and/or maybe some kind of chronic fatigue, and she gets attracted to using the computer and computer games as a way to cope or feel less isolated.

The fact that she quit having a normal life participating in sports and going to school and then she becomes very inactive and throws tantrums could mean she has bipolar issues.

It may not be rebellious behavior out of nowhere.

Another thing that I almost hate to bring up, is that she could have experienced bullying at school or with other kids her age, or even sexual assault and does not know how to bring it up to her family. You should have her go to a knowledgeable physician and also to a counselor or psychiatrist. You should be very patient and not be angry with her but let her know that you are trying to help her with any problems with others that she may have so that she can get back to living her life and engaging in sports and other activities and not hiding from anything.

If she seems to be communicating with strange boys or other people over the internet, it is something to be watchful of but also try not to seem you are trying to be over controlling even under the circumstances.

She has to learn that she as a young girl cannot just trust anyone she meets online and that a lot of young girls ( and boys) can meet predators and people who would take advantage if she is not careful. Don't make it seem as if you are just using scare tactics, but just being factual and concerned about her.



If she merely were interested in computer games, it might be that she is technically inclined and should go into technology. But this does not seem like this is the case.



Always be supportive and not condemning even though your daughter may try your strongest patience at times. It seems she may need your

understanding and love at what seems to be a difficult time in her life.

Answer 14

something is going on. Maybe she's caught between her peers and her parents, and bullies. Can you have a chat with her like over ice cream or something away from the house where she can talk freely?



When girls go with boys, especially not near home, they're trying to get away either by fantasy or reality but they really can get into serious trouble so explain the seriousness of what she's doing.



It could be peer pressure as she's doing what the other kids are doing because she sees no point, no end of the tunnel. Kids today are talking about being overburdened with the costs of the economy and their future as being all work and no play (or in the alternative all play). She's at the point of learning about a career but is thinking about dances and wants a date and wants to be popular but does she know what trouble she can get into now that she's able to have kids? Have you talked with her about std's?



I think a lot of games on the internet are mindless and therefore she's doing it just to take up time (or she's playing games with someone). Have you secretly been able to see who she's talking to and what they're saying?



someone has discouraged her from sports and such, or maybe you did that as a punishment so she'd get her grades up. You didn't say. But you took away from her what she enjoyed so now she's paying you back by failing.



I'd be wondering how you could let her skype all night but even skype at all. If she does that during the night it's probably sexual stuff. Remove the skype and take the computer out of her room and insist that she get back to the sports and enjoy being around people rather than being with people on the net. At least that way you can figure out locally who she is hanging around with.



I'm not saying this is the case but when kids are stressed out, cry, scream, blast with bad words it could be some vitamin or mineral she's missing so get her checked out at the doctor's office to be sure. Or it could be she's taking something (and the doc can check for drugs in the system). You can say you want to make sure she's healthy enough for sports. At least that's a start.

Answer 15

it's hormones honey- you can't do anything except be gentle and loving and try to understand her. She's 14, on the way to becoming a woman... take it easy on her- if her attitude is hard for you imagine how hard it is for HER- she's stuck in her own head and doesn't necessarily 'want' to be lazy or 'bitchy' it's just not something that can be controlled... although birth control pills MAY help balance out her hormones a little... I'd say just about the only thing you can do right now is try to understand and be patient and take her to a gynecologist who can explain things easier to both of you and give a proper prescription for BC pills- if needed. Also try to encourage her to do things that she likes or used to like more- spending time with her friends outside - away from the computer games and such... give her some money and ask her if she'd like to bring a friend to go see a movie with her- away from the computer and away from home- without parents and things that 'set her off'

Answer 16

You never know. She could have depression and doesn't feel like doing anything. I was that way when I was 14, but I never got any help or anything. My advice is to sit down and talk, no matter what she says. You are a parent. Identify the issue, and work from there.



Sports don't really matter, but grades do. After fixing the issue and seeing what's going on, you can maybe get a tutor or help her with her studies. Maybe it's a road block. I know it isn't all that fun, but set rules so she can enjoy her life after you get the necessary stuff out of the way.



I also advise you not to hit, or yell. You are the parent, showing violence in a important time is not the way to go, it shows her to not stop the behavior by correcting it, but instead fearing getting hit.



So, Identify the issue, talk to her/help her, set rules to enjoy her life after studies or other important things are done, and don't use corporal punishment.

Answer 17

Coming from a 15 year old male, the thing that helped me get back on track was nothing. What I mean by that is to say nothing to her, leave her be for a while and she might be able to find a spark somewhere on her own and realize that she needs to start being like a normal student. So try it, just let her do whatever she wants for a little bit, as long as its not too extreme or anything. I'm not sure if this advice will work in your situation but it certainly helped more mine. I wish the best of luck.

Answer 18

I have a cousin that just visited that is same age and same act as your daughter. He plays these children games and he says "f*** off" a lot and refused to do any family activities or anything at all. The thing is, these type of kids are just in a phase and they are very sensitive and are very scared when confronted in front of a large crowd. Like an animal in the wild. Wait for the right time and stop everything and just confront her on why she's acting like a brat. Why does she play children games and talk to nerds online? The hard part is they get mad and cry but they think about it later on and it changes them. Don't know if it will work for your daughter but it worked for my cousin, not saying you should do that. This is more of some experience story.

Answer 19

It sounds like your daughter is going through something and as her father you should be a little bit more supportive. Your daughter seems to have lost interest in her hobbies and has a lack of motivation. Along with the sleeping all day and skyping (Which I don't think is that bad to be honest) she might be suffering from depression and/or low self esteem. Actually take an interest in her. Ask her if she needs to talk about something or how she's feeling. Maybe bring a therapist into the mix.

Answer 20

Please be careful with your language. While being "strict" and demanding work are valid responses, it is better just to talk about things in a matter-of-fact way. Like, instead of telling her she is lazy, confirm that as her parents, you love her and are very concerned for her physical and mental wellbeing, because she lies in bed a lot, spends a lot of time looking at screens and does nothing to help around the house.

If she was a helpful and cooperative child before, you can say that her

behaviour has changed. If not you can say that at her age, you feel it is right to demand a certain amount of cooperation, that you are not running a free hotel and you expect her to play her part in the family.

I can remember how hurt I felt when my father said that if I didn't like his house rules, I could always move out. I knew I wasn't ready to do that so I felt trapped. But having gadgets and money, and right to stay up all night watching screens, are not human rights. You may reasonably withold all but the basic necessities. For example, you could provide basic food but refuse to cook for her. You could stop doing her laundry. etc etc.

You could give her pocket money only if she performs certain tasks.

Just because she behaves badly, it doesn't necessarily mean she is in trouble or has some psychological problem. If by acting out and doing nothing, she gets what she wants, then you are reinforcing bad behaviour by letting her get away with it. She may even think you don't care because you don't discipline her.

Answer 21

Kids have lives that parents don't know about. Maybe something is going on with her. If I were you I would take all her electronics and go through the history, the texts, everything. Especially the pictures. And It would be good to find out who she's skyping. She could be either in a dangerous situation, being into hard drugs or premiscuious, or it could be just that she's going through a life crisis as a young teen, and scared that her family isn't going to accept her for who she is. You need to. She's your daughter, you are to love her unconditionally. Go through her electronics and find the problem(s) and let her know you are there for her and MEAN IT. If it seems like everything she says to everybody through text, IM, Facebook, whatever is just normal, typical, and that she really has no problems that need dealing with, then it may be defience. But until you kinda stalk her life on social media, you need to remember it may not be defieance, and is most likely NOT. She is a young teen and like I said teens have lives that parents don't know anything about. You may need to HELP me get through something that you never knew she was dealing with, and it may be something that really throws you offguard, something that you would never have thought she is going through. You need to be with her every step of the way, and like I said love her unconditionally, because she is your daughter. I hope this helps.



Edit;; I also want to add something really important! If you come across something that you don't like, DO NOT refuse to let her socialize! Socialization is ESSENTIAL for everyone, and if you stop her from socialization you could CREATE MENTAL ILLNESS. Do not hurt your daughter. She is a different person than you, therefore she will have a different personality, different interests, and different viewpoints/morals and values. Sorry, there is no www.build-a-kid.com However with that being said she is still young and you may have to HELP her THROUGH her struggles.

Answer 22

Finds them? LOL! You can't hide something from a 14yo? Grounding DOES work. Make it punishment! Your the adult, your the one calling the shots. Make sure she knows that. You have the power to take EVERYTHING from here if it comes to that, I'm not judging you and I'm not a psychiatrist but kids don't just start doing this crap, seems like too much leeway and choice for a while has caught up and now she thinks she's in control. Kids, Teens, WIld Animals..... Same thing. Somebody needs to be the Alpha, and when a lower steps out of line they need to be reminded real quick who's calling the shots. Your not her friend, her liking you isn't part of the eqaution, being a good parent is.

Answer 23

Neither. Your daughter needs to be understood and nurtured. It sounds like she's going to boys and video games because they make her feel good about herself, and you must change that quickly before she broadens the category of where she will be getting attention to drugs. Start off slowly by having conversation and maybe playing some board games. Take her on bonding trips to the local store, just you and her. Develop a friendship before anything else because then you will have her trust. The tantrums are unacceptable though, so make sure to calmly yet firmly end those. Do not lose face, or your temper. When you do that it is just showing her that it is okay when she does it. Instead, do not react in an uncanny manner and show her that you are the alpha dog.

Answer 24

Being a fourteen year old myself, I understand why she's doing what she's doing.

It's hormones, you can't do anything except be gentle and try to understand her. If you believe that her attitude is bad, just think how it might be for her.

I know how it is. My mum sometimes gets annoyed with my lack of contribution around the house but I make it up to her later on.

But if she doesn't do even that, you have to have a serious talk with her.

And even if that doesn't work, then I believe you take her to a gynecologist who may be able to explain things easier and more in depth for both of you.

Ask her if she wants any money so she may be able to go out with her friends and stay away from the computer, and in this way she'll be less lazy and more happy.

But in the end, I don't know her so this may not work. But it's worth a shot. It worked with me and my parents, maybe just maybe, it might work with her.

Good Luck!

Answer 25

I went through this stage, although I would have gotten slapped for bad mouthing. Turn off all internet connection and access to any electronics. At night time she will do her best to take these things back. Find opportunities to sneak in her room and see if shes just faking sleeping and hiding whatever shes doing. If she is shy and reserved lock her out of her room. Tutoring for school may help, and if she gets her grades back up make her participate in school activities and maybe even help out with that. Your the parents. Or if nothing is helping find a way to tie her down and give her a good spanking or some legal and fair punishment for the situation. You dont want her nasty and lazy attitude to reflect badly on you as her parent. Good luck.

Answer 26

When I was 11 I came home with a note from the teacher saying I was doing unsatisfactory in reading and social studies. My mother yelled at me and took away my allowance and my radio and phonograph and constantly reminded me of my bad grades. There was more concern over my grades than my well being. The problem was I was depressed. Yes 11 year olds get depressed. I also had undiagnosed ADHD. I can read words but it is difficult for me to read a chapter and know what I read. It sounds like your daughter is depressed. Classic symptoms...She;s lost interest in Sports and Arts, something I assume she enjoyed--I hope she wasn't forced to do these things. Sleeping all day. Anyway the first thing I would do is have to checked for depression. Sitting on the computer--as a depression prone person myself I find myself doing mindless stuff on the Internet.

Answer 27

In a similar case at the Dr. Phil. TV show the correct path was to send the child to a camp for troubled kids. The professionals there can evaluate the teen, do some consultation with several disciplines and provide a solution, a treatment. Perhaps insurance could cover this. Perhaps not. But from what you describe this is not a "lazy" kid by one with potentially serious emotional issues that can only be handled by experts. The game addiction is a symptom of social reclusion, a psychological issue.

Answer 28

First of all... she's 14. The *most* likely thing that is going on, is that she is being a teen, and her teenage rebellion has kicked in. Every other animal is docile and sweet before their hormones kick in and humans are no different. There are a lot of comments here about possible behavior or medical problems, she's going to sleep with boys and do drugs - I'm sorry, but you people are nuts. Sex and drugs isn't happening, so let's look at what IS happening. If you want to take her to a dr or a psychiatrist, it wouldn't hurt, but understand that teens are not easy.



Regardless of what you do, you need to stop letting her hole away in her room all day. No computer, no TV - and that goes for adults, too. She is bored. What I would do, is I would find something in the area she might like to do. Volunteering, an art class, whatever it is, something outside of the house that she has to do regularly. It doesn't have to be grueling, it doesn't have to be punishment, just something she can enjoy. Because, if you ask me, that's the issue - she's bored, probably depressed, and sitting around is making it worse, but doesn't know what else to do.



BUT, make her choose between activities. Don't present it to her as "Well I NEED you out of the house..." but instead, make her think it's her idea. Give her the option to choose between a, b, or c - and none of those options are sitting around doing nothing.



Make her pitch in around the house somehow - nothing serious, but give a list of things she needs to do that day. Give a time frame. An example would be, she needs to empty / load the dishwasher, vacuum the floors, water the plants, all by 4pm. Or something like that. Don't let her do anything like TV or facebook until after she does those things. Let her earn privileges, too. Is there something she wants? Don't give it to her, make her earn it.

Answer 29

that kind of change is usually do to inner problems, especially with teen agers. She may be depressed or suicidal and you might not even notice it. Not to be judgmental, but maybe you going about this the wrong way. Even though those actions do deserve punishment, only giving her punishment may just make it worse. Have you tried asking her why she has been acting so differently, asking her if she is depressed or if there's anything worrying her, and letting her know that she doesn't need to be afraid to tell you how she feels so that she can get help? Tell her that if she is having problems, it is not her fault, and she needs to be open about them so you can help her feel better and be happier in life. And you also may be making her feel like she is not able to be open with you about these things, which may be the reason why she isn't being open. Alot of people go through things like this in that point of life, but there are things that can make it better, like support groups and therapy. But medication should only be used as a last resort, because you don't want to turn her into a mindless zombie either. Good luck to you and your daughter

Answer 30

It doesn't sound to me like your 14-year-old daughter is lazy, but what she defines as "a good time" is different from your definition. She also seems to be pretty smart if you keep hiding electronics and she keeps finding them... or you're really bad at hiding things. Granted, there is more to life than Minecraft and boys and she should do more things with her time, and definitely needs to fix her sleeping schedule as a high-school student. However, there is a more important factor to consider. You and your daughter are on completely different wave-lengths and need to come together first. Let's back it up a bit.



I know this may shock you, but I think your daughter is a nerd. GASP! OK, now that the shock is out of your system, let's focus on channeling this in a positive direction. She's really into computer games, the internet, and online communication. To me, that signifies that you should try to get your daughter engaged in computer classes or clubs, see if she has any interest in programming or building computers. Instead of fighting her interests, why not try to engage with them?



Have you ever actually played Minecraft? The fastest way to get her to lose interest in Minecraft would be to play it with her and tell her you think it's cool. Plop down a lap-top right next to her and open up the game and ask her questions about how to play. Either you'll have a really good bonding experience with your daughter and learn more about her, or she'll get annoyed and perhaps stop playing. You HAVE to be positive and happy during the total exchange. Don't give her any lip, anger, yelling, or frustration.



If she's talking to boys on Skype, sit down, smile, say hi, and introduce yourself to them and start up a conversation. She may not like this, but it's a great way to break the ice and see who your daughter is actually talking to. You would normally meet and introduce yourself to her friends that exist within her physical realm, so why not do the same for her online friends?



Instead of punishing your daughter and getting angry, I recommend engaging with her in these activities to at least understand whom she's talking to and what she's doing. You won't be able to guide your daughter in any more positive directions in life until she feels that you both understand and respect her, and she'll know whether or not you are being genuine.

Answer 31

sell

Answer 32

Take away her computer.

Answer 33

Send her to a lazy farm.

Answer 34

Hey mom, and anyone else who has Tina FavorZ kids online. I actually want to say that someone bought pays and has the power to turn off in the house and or apartment? Tina" that sounds lazy? No it's actually that your post says you are aware of what is stated to be a 14yr old female that has a computer program ( learn" how is it paid for? Becaus free is online scum and 14yr old lazy and you are somehow not able to comprehend that any age can say anything online and calling someone lazy issue #1 fat girl or attractive. I'd say your the one who doesn't provide what is needed it's drugs sex and men online next is hep c aids and drug money for a dealer or pimp can I have you 14yr old now it's just a matter of time contact me?

Answer 35

In my opinion, you should charge her on everything you give to her, like meals, bed, laundry, not to mention giving her any pocket money. perhaps，after realizing life is not that easy, she will behave herself and be willing to engage some meaningful activities.

Answer 36

Punishment like this never helps in situations like these. Try setting a time on her electronics. I know you're trying to be a good parent but at her age she's busy trying to figure herself out. She's confused, upset, isolated. She needs a parent to sit and listen. Don't pressure her. She might feel smothered by you. Just let her know you are there for her. If you keep punishing and jumping down her throat everytime she does something wrong you might lose that mother daughter bond. Good luck. :)

Answer 37

Maybe she keeps finding them because you keep hiding them in the same freaking place. GET RID OF THE ELECTRONICS!!

Answer 38

You can get her enrolled in a Gym, or something

Answer 39

You are a loser Mother - Turn off Skype and send her to Reform School. Your daughter runs the house. You are lucky she lets you continue to live there.

Answer 40

When she is asleep, at the movies, or at school put all the electronic things in the trunk of your car or leave them at your parents house. When she gets back act surprise like is someone stole them from the home. She won t throw a fit because she will know that you did not take the television, computer, cell phone from her but someone else did. You have to give the first example by not using the pc yourself until she learns to use her brain. Most men like an intelligent grown up woman, if she grows up wrong men will just use her and dump her and it will be because you don t find enough time to teach her and you let the electronic things be the babysitter.

Buy a cheap fishing rod and take her fishing. If you don t know find someone that does know how to fish. You need to shock your daughter into reality and that will be if you invite a guess over to see her since she will try to look good in front of the guess she may start to act normal.

Bring your girlfriend over tell her to stay a week and visit you with her kids. You get her to wash dishes like this, you call her on the phone and tell her to wash some dishes plates, and cups, cause you will be ordering pizza or you bring a pizza or chicken home. Then tell her to wash her plate while you wash yours. When she gets hungry she will wash her plate. Try to talk to her and don t make fun of her tell her she needs to bathe cause now boys will be interested in her since she is growing up pretty. Compliment your daughter or else she will feel you hate her and she might feel depress. Stop bad mouthing her father because that will make her lose respect for you and make her sad. I did not say to like him all I am saying don t hate him in front of her. You do her more damage and it might come back to bite you. Stop buying soft drinks they have sugar and too much sugar in veins will cause you to lose energy. Buy crush ice, have water handy or kool aid ready make things colorful and exciting. If there is no television she will read a magazine or book and she will want to do other things. When she has homework at the pc take her to the library and let her do it there.

Answer 41

Make her clean the house

Answer 42

I'm am around your daughters age and my parent only let me play my electronics 4 hours a day, and if I get all of my chores done and I have good grades in school they will add an hour I'm at 4 hours!! I hope this helped!!! Good luck!

Answer 43

Make her dependent of you. Don't give her too much leverage and don't fall into chastity. It almost seems now a days kids control the parents. Kick it back old school and give her the good ol spanking.

Answer 44

Step1- Raise your left/right hand in a 90° motion

Step2- Elevate Hand to your your chest (preferably shoulder)

Step3- Use back of the hand to slap the laziness out of her

Step4- Kick her out of the house, lock the door, and tell her that you love her

Answer 45

Are you blind she's clearly doesn't do anything because she has no friends.

Answer 46

Take ALL electronics away from her.............take them to a family member's house so she can't find them.

Give her tons of chores to do - including helping with yard work. Teach her how to cook.

Answer 47

It COULD be clinical depression. Has she experienced a recent trauma? (And remember "trauma" when you're 14 is your bff having a prettier dress than you do.)

Answer 48

You should tell her to work or the devices get taken away.

Answer 49

My cousin used to be an under performing student since he was addicted to video games at 11-13 yrs old. He was a very smart kid though. One day, his parents got so sick of him not listening to them so they beat him with a hanger. Now, he is an ivy league columbia university student. Hes becoming an engineer.

If screaming at her, taking things away from her doesn't work. The only method would be a beating.

If that goes against you, then don't beat her. But chances are that she will continue to be this way. And it would eventually harm her future potential.



I suggest a beating just to save her from a bad future. do you know how bad unemployment is for college grads right now? its horrible. Unless you want her to work a minimum wage job for the rest of her life then don't beat her.

And no, beatings don't cause mental illness.

Answer 50

Force her. Crack down on her. Take away her electronics and sign her up for a sport no matter what! Even if she doesn't like it. MAKE her do her work. Teach her a lesson by getting her extra summer tutoring. If she doesn't cooperate. No social media ever. Make her get a book and read. Than quiz her about the book.

Answer 51

Take her to a psychologist.

Answer 52

Seriously, are you an adult? Lock up the computer until school starts. Any other electronics are kept in view of one or both parents and used only with permission. Never in her bedroom. TV is restricted to educational channels. She wakes up at 6 am or earlier, whenever is convenient for you. If you have to wake her up, bedtime is that much earlier. Make a to do list broken up by meals. For example wake up, make bed, wipe down bathroom counters and scrub toilet, breakfast, two loads of laundry, lunch, vacuum and dust two rooms, dinner, wash dishes, bed at 10 pm. Let her get a feel of having to work for food. She will be fine if she doesn't earn a meal for a day or two. And do beat her when necessary.

Answer 53

It would be best to remove privileges. All she really needs is food, water, shelter, clothes, and oxygen. Anything else can be taken away without "abusing" her. Internet, gone. Room, shared with siblings. Door? That's a privilege. And just because you have to give her food doesn't mean you have to prepare it for her. First chore you can get her to do is make some dinner for the family. If she won't then don't make her food, let her cook her own. You just have to provide an opportunity for some food. Whether she eats or not is up to her.

Answer 54

First, pull the plug on the computer then start being a parent. You're the adult. (Aren't you?)

Answer 55

Why exactly does she have a computer to play on in the first place?

Answer 56

When you take away the electronics you remove them from the house completely so she cannot find them. If she finds replacements you take a hammer to the replacement. Cancel your internet service. Cancel her cell phone account.



If she wants internet or cell phone service she will have to get a job.



And from now on she can only get clothes from Wal Mart.

Answer 57

well, you let her do it. I have a 15 year old and she is not allowed to "Quit" her commitments. When she starts something, she is required to finish it. She chose soccer last year and didn't like it, but had to complete the season as to not affect the rest of the team.

She also has a bed time and no computer in her room. So, it basically comes down to parenting I suppose. Children only get away with what you allow, you will reap what you sew.

Answer 58

Well, I am 13 and my mother confiscates my items if I spend too much time on it. She puts them in a locker and takes the keys with her to her work. On schooldays I never get my devices ( on the weekdays), I am only allowed on the weekends. In Summer I am only allowed till 7 pm. AFTER that, if I even touch my devices whether it's for educational purposes or others she locks them up for 3 days as a punishment.

About not waking up, my mother wakes me up every 9:00 in the morning and if I don't, my devices get locked up for 2 days or I don't get breakfast.

No one in my house does my chores for me. I am supposed to make my own food. And junk food and soda are banned. Bringing them to the house can cause you all of your pocket money. So I just eat them outside.

If she (your daughter) starts screaming, you shouldn't worry, I was like that too. I used to curse my mother saying she is the worst parent ever but she ignored me, only sometimes hugging me to tell me she loves me. But now i am so grateful! I was top in my 7th Grade in the whole region! Yes :D

Of course we can get rewards once in a while where we will be allowed access to our computers or permission for bringing junk food because of being good kids.

But hey, some people are advising you to spank her. Don't! It might work with some kids but it doesn't usually work with teenagers. We just get more aggressive and stubborn. And it might label you with the name of a child abuser. My mother has never spanked me, but if she had, I don't know how I might have loved her.

Answer 59

She sounds like a typical teenager. Trust me... I am one... I was exactly like that at 14 its normal... I slept all day. Didn't bath... All that stuff... But one day I just was sorta like I need to get up off my fat *** and do something with my life. She'll come around

Answer 60

I'm 15 and a sophomore. Just let her be. Trust me. Pretend that it's okay for her to do these things but fool with her mind. My parents never cared enough from me. But if u notice the behavior she will want to do it even more. Try to act like ur on her side, like wanna get some coffee? Taking away her stuff will make her just hate u and even more mad. She's not a puppy that u can just take it away and boom she's okay. She's just like u, a human. She's going through a phase. I locked up myself in a room when I was in eighth grade and did the same thing she does (except tantrums) and I smoked and drank, but that was cuz I was depressed from being bullied at school. My grades were horrible cuz I got nothing done. Just let her be, don't ***** to her about it cuz its eighth grade nothing counts. For me from being a barely 2.0 goals student I got a 3.83 GPA and silver academic awards. She's fine. Just a phase. But if she's cutting herself that might not be. I cut myself once and stopped. GL

Answer 61

I'm sorry to say this but you were the one who made her the way she is because you allowed this to happen, fortunately though you can easily solve this problem with good old parenting. Take away all her electronics and ensure that she can't find them hell you can even lend them to someone you can trust. She's going to be miserable at first believe me, but over time she'll find new hobbies and might even thank you in the long run. My mother wouldn't tolerate me being like that at all.

Answer 62

What are you all talking about the absolute worst thing is taking away her stuff! Video game and cigarette addiction are about the same. If you just take them away, she will go into withdraw and be mentally unstable. Slowly decrease her time, if she does bad in school, maybe limit her to 2 hours playing time a day.

Answer 63

I'm 13 and when I was 10 I went through a phase like that (without the boy part). My parents took away all of my electronics. They even moved my TV into their room. I had to make all the meals and clean the whole house. I was on lockdown with more responsibility. It felt like torture. After 3 months I finally got my electronics back and I was nicer and I haven't been grounded since. The worst thing I did after that was get one F on my report card. My parents found out that my teacher had misgraded one of my assignments (a really important one) and my grade was supposed to be an A.

Answer 64

Be more strict. If she can find her electronics you are not hiding them properly. I hate to blame you but it sounds like if you were stricter she would learn to stop acting like a 3 year old. Try finding something she might be interested in other than electronics. If you set a good example she'll follow, so I suggest you use electronics less too. Instead of TV you could go to the pool together or the movies. Make sure she has a set time for homework e.g. 4:00pm-5:00pm. If she has routine she will feel more stable and there will be less time to use electronics. Good Luck.

Answer 65

Permanently take away her electronics. Take them to work, put them away in your locker. Don't allow her to have them back until she starts helping out around 🔁 the house 🏠.



🗽 🚐 🚐 🗽

Answer 66

Take away her computer

Answer 67

if you were serious about getting her off of minecraft and skype, she'd be off minecraft and skype. it isn't rocket science. put her phone and any tablets and laptops in your car when you go to work, and password-protect any desktops so she can't use them unless you log her in. set some reasonable amount of time she can use electronics per day (1-3 hours, max), and enforce it. if she's still finding ways to avoid the ban, sell her electronics. tell her she needs daily exercise and that's a non-negotiable health issue, so either she can sign up for the sport or two of her choice or she can go to the gym or go jogging or biking or swimming or do yoga or whatever -- but she can't sit around. if she throws a fit when asked to do chores, she still has to do them anyway. in my view, at least one other kind of other activity (art, music, student government, drama, writing, etc.) or volunteer work or part-time job is also nonnegotiable at that age. tell her to pick one that appeals to her but then expect her to stick with it until the end of whatever the time period she signs up for.



if she's only 14 and you really have already so far lost her that you can't get her to do those kinds of basic, nonnegotiable things, then you need to get her counseling.

Answer 68

As a 15 year old myself growing up in a divorce, who is in ROTC and tries to be a good person, it's usually the parent, actually.

No counseling required, be a parent, and tell her that she is loved. I mean it's natural for us to be lazy, our hormones are INSANE, but it's better to show her that you're proud of her to do something (I'd suggest JROTC) than to "discipline" her.

If she's spending a lot of her time gaming, like Minecraft (With me it was always Dragon Age or Mass Effect, because during the divorce and other things, my mentality was that people don't want ME. They want Commander Shepard, or the Grey Warden, or the Lone Wanderer, etc.) it's something relative to her trying to leave her life for a few hours. (and you should be proud that she's not doing drugs or something to do so)

I'd suggest taking her to the store and spend a day shopping, or hanging out with her. Getting to know her, and such. Go get lunch and ask her to be open with you.

If she's angry all of the time, she's either being a brat, or she feels that something in her life isn't how it should be. Maybe something has changed in her life, and she doesn't like it?

As a 15 year old that has grown up raising little kids, you should realize that if you spend the correct amount of time with a child, the child has no secrets to hide. Not as in like checking her browser history or anything, more that you should know who she is and how she acts.

Answer 69

Coming from another "lazy 14 year old daughter" herself, I wouldn't listen to what everyone else is saying. I really relate to your daughter and I honestly think that she has depression. I would lock myself up in my room, not do my homework, and watch Netflix all night and sleep all day. And whenever I could muster up the energy to socialize, I would Skype with whoever was up.



I'm telling you, before you keep punishing her, make sure she's okay. I wish my mother hadn't kept punishing me for something I couldn't really help because that was what sent me over the edge.

Answer 70

1) take hammer

2) break computer screen

If not, take the computer, her phone, and ANY sort of electronic she has, and put them in a box. Give the box to a family friend and have them hide it. Or put it in a safe. When she cries and screams, let her have her tantrum. But record it. Put it on YouTube or on her Facebook, so all of her boyfriends can see it. Or just post something on HER Facebook account, stating she's going offline for the rest of high school until she learns respect and responsibility

Honestly, you can have her never touch another electronic again until she's 18.

Also, if she just sits around all day, she must be overweight, I mean, no exercise? Tell her that if she spends one hour outside exercising, she can have one hour of TV.

Answer 71

Sounds like shemay be having problems at school, or with her peers and she is not telling you about it . Sleeping all day is a sure sign of depression.I would have a heart to heart with her to see if she will open up to you. Also, contact her teacher secretley and ask if there are any problems in class. I would definately confiscate her computer and only let her have it after she has completed tasks for you and done her homework etc....

Answer 72

I have a cousin that's just like this. I think the thing is that either a) she hasn't been able to find her passion and therefore and doesn't know what she wants with life. or b) you mentioned she plays minecraft, so she may find joy in playing and building things, so try looking into things like a lego club or something having to do with computer designing. Something my parents did to help me to keep from staying up all hours of the night was turning off the wifi, and you and your spouse may have to suffer a little bit to help your daughter. As a 15 year old, I will tell you that a lot of people in our age range feel like they're all that and a bag of hoho's. Thankfully, I realized that I wasn't the be all end all of everything. Try putting her in her place. I do not think that spanking is bad, however do not slap/punch her hitting her anywhere that's visible because if someone saw that, it doesn't matter if you were disciplining her, people will call CPS on you most likely. Also, as far as her devices (phone, laptop, desktop, tablet, etc) When you do get it away from her, get on all of them and change the passwords to different ones for each one and don't write them down anywhere, so email them to yourself. As far as getting her to help around the house, try little things at first, slowly easing into bigger projects. Try asking her to pick up a piece of trash on the floor, tell her to go tie the garbage/recycle bag if it's full and have someone else take the actual bag out, and "accidentally" drop (small not valuable) glass items and have someone sweep it into a pile and into the dustpan, but have her throw the remnants into the trashcan. One point about getting her to do chores is to never ASK her but only TELL her to do something. One more tip I have for you is to try not taking her devices away, but make sure to take the chargers into work with you if possible but at least take them with you and just leave them in the car. I hope this helps. :)



~Olivia-Phoebe

Answer 73

PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THAT AWAY.



My friends are like that and I do every now and then. I even Skype with my friends that are guys just because I feel more comfortable with them than girls. Although, they have bad grades and I have mostly As' for my grades. Take it from someone in the situation.



I do listen to my parents when they ask me to clean. Make a deal with her saying that if she doesn't do homework or a chore than she can't play for 45min.



My parents took that away from me and it was like taking away all of my happiness and I wanted to die. I had multiple attempts of suicide.(that they still don't know about) My cousins were addicted too but they're over it. They told me that it's a phase. So I'd suggest talking to her and making a deal of some sort. I'm 13yrs old.

Answer 74

I'm kind of the opposite. I like and enjoy sports and activities but I cannot take them due to my parents not having time to take me and stuff but I get straight A+. I think (personally) you could push her to do what you want her to or maybe not let her quite all her activities. I wasn't good in school in 5th grade either and I almost got left back in 2nd but I realized in 5th grade what will happen to be if I don't work. Find a way to allow her to realize that it's her future and if she continues that way, it's all up to her. I hope that helped. Goodluck! :)

Answer 75

Children are a product of their environment ! She is, how she was raised !

Answer 76

For the electronics, there are child lock features that allow you to block certain websites and also ways to limit use. You could block Skype if you don't want her chatting with boys all night. And you could limit her day use of the computer to say two hours. She would have to find something else to do then



For punishment

♢first do not allow name calling, swearing, etc of any type. It's rude and disrespectful. Take her electronics away, hide them where she can't find them. Maybe get a lock installed on a cabinet or dresser and lock them up

♢secondly, don't let her have electronics in her room at night. Take them away and lock them you for the night. She should sleep at night and wake up during the day. She isn't an owl



Mine craft has become very addictive to a lot of people. She should see a professional and get this addiction helped.



My last opinion- She isn't to old to be spanked. Your her mother. Make it hurt, or it won't work. My parents used a wood paddle & I turned out fine

Answer 77

Can you say entitlement. Those electronics must be removed from the HOME! video games, tv and internet activity can kill ones drive, creativity and thirst for learning. Second you have to spend more time with this child doing activities with her. this includes taking days to show up to her school unannounced and sitting in her classroom. having open dialogue with her teachers with regular updates. She feels there is no accountability. show her that there is. you have to pay rent, lights and phone no matter what and she must do her class/homework no matter what (and you should be checking it every nite until you can trust her again). for some reason she feels she's not accountable, because you haven't been. that is the hard truth here. don't allow this child to grow up to be a lazy adult. she is your responsibility. that kind of discipline is the only love you can show her until she shows you better. if your reply to me is you don't have time or you work too much to pay the bills, then know those are the same excuses she'll give you. lead by example. show her you care.

Answer 78

I remember being 14 years old and being like that. It's puberty, selfishness and a test of how much she can gain control over authoritative figures.

Much like the movie "Thirteen" with Evan Rachel Wood. She's also under bad influence from someone. I recommend you watch it together so your relationship with her can be more constructive instead of being more destructive. The point is to learn from the movie and have a common ground. Cause at this point she only looks at parents as "providers". You cannot really discipline her if you're more of a friend than a parent. If you give up easily trying to discipline her, she's only going to do it over and over again to get what she wants. Stand your ground with this one. She can always be your friend when she gets matured. If this gets out of hand, she'll be on a destructive path. Take steps to prevent this, have sessions with a psychologist or a family therapist. Anyhow, good luck.

Answer 79

Well im probably the last person your about to take advice from but here are a few ideas:

• Take her electronics. If they can have a passcode then change it to something only you know and hide it in perhaps an old shoe box in your closet or maybe in an old case of an instrument. I doubt she will find it there.

• If she screams every time she is asked to help, take her phone or source of electronic that she uses to contact her friends, unlock it and call her friend. Skype them perhaps to see her throwing this big of a fit. She will realize its ridiculous and quickly grow out of it.

• If she is skyping boys at night she could be doing bad things. Give her a talk at dinner and if she walks away, then dont give her dinner until she agrees to talk. It may seem harsh but it might work.

• When she doesnt want to excersise, again, call or skype her friends and show them her laziness.

Your daughter will most likely grow out of it. Good luck :) and I hope my ideas helped!

Answer 80

First of all you need to take the computer out of her room or get rid of it / also don't believe that show the worlds strictest parents it's a fake @ even though the people are real on it i assure you the teenagers are interested in changing plus the changes don't work in a week it takes time / I would consult with professionals such as psychological or psychiatric professionals though try to go private not with the government sector ones and they simply don't care enough or they aren't educated and highly skilled / another thing you could try doing is spacing out her activities or bringing one of her friends over slowly slowly here and there though keep an eye on them even if you have to put secret cameras around the house even if it means hiding them quietly while she is sleeping through make sure it's not a boy or the other girl is a lesbian or you could also try contacting the police to see if they have any good advice for you otherwise if you don't do something soon she could start sleeping around with boys and you definitely don't want that especially if it's a older boy

Answer 81

agree with the other answers😊 i've heard minecraft can be addictive - i play it myself and would play it a lot more, but on the down side all it does is give me motion sickness

maybe u can give her activities 2 do? or perhaps she could get a paper round? this may encourage getting up in the morning as u can get paid for it

i'm a 16 y/o girl & i'm not allowed my laptop in my bedroom but its in the living room



skype at night? noo!

make sure things like Facebook or Instagram r turned off etc, because skype could be potentially more dangerous than the 2 because it has a WEBCAM & she is talking to BOYS- have u ever heard of a printscreen?

take computer away at night, believe me u really do not know what could be going on there... if she's awake all day then no wonder she doesn't sleep at night

defo seek support of some kind

finally maybe u should take the door off her bedroom until there r improvements not as punishment but as motivation so u can trust her fully

good luck & all the best

Answer 82

I m 17 now and I was the exact same way when I was 13-14. I still play minecraft and yes, it s a complex game. My mom didn t take my things or turn off the internet. She gave me choices and when I would whine about why I had to do chores she would tell me that I live here and everyone has to help but don t be unreasonable with her. Celebrate her accomplishments or at least say thank you when she does something for the house. Tell her that she s really helping and that you re grateful. I would do chores and my mom would go, "What have you done? It doesn t even look like you ve done anything. Oh, you did the dishes? What about cleaning the living room? Or the bathroom?" I stopped wanting to help her after that and it made me feel like I could never do anything right, that I was worthless. I attempted suicide 3 times in that one year and the people that kept me alive were my online friends who even called my mom after I had tried to overdose on painkillers so she could rush me to the hospital. Once she knew that what she was doing was affecting me like that she changed completely. I would get random hugs every now and then and she would tell me that she loved me and that she didn t know what she d do without me helping out. You, as a parent, are the one failing her. You need to want to know more about her. Don t interrogate her, but ask her about who she talks to and if she gives you a name, ask her who that is and she ll open up to you. Find things she might like, like boxing or maybe digital art that she can do from the computer with a drawing tablet. When I was her age I was overweight and I liked working out so my mom got me a gym membership and she and I would go together 3 days a week. It helped us get closer and it was fun. Just don t pressure her into doing anything. And don t take her electronics. If she feels anything like I did at that age she s going to need someone to reach out to and taking that from her means that there won t be anyone there to stop her from making a huge mistake. For the sleeping all day, that s honestly just what feels good. Napping during the day just feels great to most teenagers. There are studies that show that teenagers are wired to want to sleep throughout the day and then lie awake at night so I d say let her sleep in a little bit, it is summer after all. But go out and do things throughout the day. I m usually in bed by 10 because I never know what my mom will want to do the next day. Sometimes we go to the beach, sometimes there s camping or hiking so I ve just come to enjoy a good nights rest so I can be ready for the day. Try to understand her, it s better to have a happy, if lazy, daughter than to not have one at all.

Answer 83

Have you ever considered the possibility that she's going through something difficult? 14 is the age where girls are very mentally fragile. You have to try to see things from her point of view but don't be too supportive of everything she does, discipline is mandatory. Even if she doesn't tell you or nothing bad happened to her, all the hormones can be doing something to her head. Moreover, they try very hard to fit in or find themselves. She's probably having a really hard time right now and uses electronics as an escape and talks to boys or whoever because she feels like she doesn't care anymore and wants to just PUT HERSELF OUT THERE or something or maybe she just has male friends. Even if none of her behavior makes sense to you, you HAVE to be understanding of her. If you can't coax her to talk to you, consider taking her to a psychiatrist. Good luck, you're a great mom if you care enough to notice difference in her behavior. But please try to understand your "lazy daughter" :)

Answer 84

for the last few yes I have been exactly like you daughter. Internet and sleep all day. No effort with school or friends. No job. No hobbies or extra curricular activities. It's terrible don't let her get into that. Maybe she's just a lazy teen but maybe she has more going on you just don't know about honestly I'd find a way to get her out of the house and off the internet. Maybe force her to get a summer/weekend job just to get out of the house more you know.

Answer 85

I'm around that age, and I have to say, if you go all commando on her, it's not really going to help. I know that it's hard for you get her to be active with her life, but when my mom/dad did something extreme, I would just rebel against it because I had the mentality of "I'm old enough to do what I want; I'm not a little kid."



Maybe you can introduce to her some fun stuff like drama or color guard or cheer or orchestra to get her to meet new people. Let her know that what she's doing right now isn't going to help her with getting into college, which means that she can't have a job =no money. Be positive with her, because yelling/strictness/negative tone of voice isn't going to get anywhere.

Answer 86

First of all, you aren't trying very hard if "she finds them." Take them away. These items not rights or even requirements. They are privileges. The natural consequence of being a nasty teenager is the lost of privileges. Sell them, given them to someone else, throw then in the trash, or lock them in the trunk of you car. This isn't about taking them away for a day. They are gone, done. So sad, too bad. She can earn money to purchase new ones.



Read the book Have a New Teenager by Friday by Kevin Leman -- probably at your public library. Or try Love & Logic. The key her is not to engage, not to scream and yell (even though you are frustrated). You simply ignore the behavior and let the consequences rule.





Next, get yourself and you child into counseling. You need some help and guidance.

Answer 87

take away all her electronics... no if's, and's or but's. put a parental control on the internet. why is a 14 year old permitted to scream & yell at her family? as far as not contributing any work to the house, make a list of what you require her to do daily. if she won't do it... fine, she can wait until she has done those things in order to eat. sounds drastic? perhaps... but she didn't get this way overnight and she is not going to become responsible overnight. it is up to you to undo the obvious lack of discipline this child has had. my kids always knew exactly where the line was drawn... cross over that line, suffer the consequences. was it a difficult position to hold? of course. I can remember my youngest pitching a fit... I ignored her... without an audience, what was the point for her? when she came back to sanity, I told her I was not her FRIEND, that I was her MOTHER. I would gladly be a friend once she reached maturity, but until then, it was my job to teach her to the best of my ability... I wasn't infallible, nor perfect and I didn't expect her to be perfect. BUT if she was willing to sit down and talk in a respectful manner, I was more than happy to discuss things with her. I expected respect from her and she was to expect respect from me. there were days when I felt like pulling my hair out... or hers!... but I refused to give in to her tirades. there is no easy way to parenthood, but I loved her too much to let her be boss of this household. her disciplining started when she was an infant... she was taught there was a loving way to do something or a stinker way to try... the stinker way got her in trouble... and she knew where I stood, with no wavering on my part. it would have been so much easier to let her have her way, but that would not have lead to a very productive life-style. keep the lines of respectful communication open.

Answer 88

Don't worry too much about it. I went through this a few years ago. Eighth grade, at least in my experience, is kinda the year what all kids finally snap a little. It's when pressure really gets to us. We realize that we aren't little kids anymore, and will be in HS soon. When I went through this. I went from being excited and looking forward to each day, to dragging myself to Student Council meetings, forcing myself to go to the dojo to train, and being unable to find any motivation to put on a swim suit and report to my coach. As for the boys, it probably won't be anything too serious. It's that age where if you have a boy that likes you, or is interested in you, you feel kinda special. Like you are good enough for someone. It really boosts your confidence. During summer, encourage her to find or pursue her passion. At the time, I hate working summer jobs as a 14 year old as well as conducting science experiments to be submitted to the magazine I'm a columnist in, but looking back, it payed off. Physical exercise is a good way to distract yourself. The exhaustion and pain really allows you to let go of stress.

Make sure that her grades are up though. Eigth grade is basically a pre-HS, and HS is when GPA starts to count. Anything less than a 3.8 is not something to be really proud of. When I was unmotivated, I found out that the easiest way to get good grades, is to not spend hours cramming before a test, but to just look/skim over your notes. You don't even ahve to spend more than 5 minutes a day on it. This strategy kept me going with mostly As in eighth grade.

All in all, don't worry too much, but keep an eye on her and make sure that her grades and activities are good next year. Maybe find something that she can work hard for. Prize/reward system?

Answer 89

What I would do: Take her computer and all other electronics and bring them to the pawn shop or toss em in a bucket of water. I would then remove EVERY item from her room. Bed, Bureau, all furniture, EVERYTHING - And I would remove the door. I would then leave her 3 changes of clothes, 1 pillow and one sheet. When it comes time for mealtime I would give her plain oatmeal in the morning, a baloney sandwich and a drink for lunch and 2 cans of Chef Boyardee for supper. EVERY DAY. I would wake her up at 8:00 am every morning and not let her sleep. If she swore at me I would simply not feed her supper that night. NO kid has ever starved missing a meal. I would then tell her "I am no longer going to be yelling at you. Since you choose not to participate in this family, and are too lazy to do chores and schoolwork here is what life gives you. NOTHING. When you decide to join the human race and start acting civilized, respectful and obedient we will discuss your getting privileges back. I cannot force you to change if you don't want to. That's up to you. But lets be clear. The free ride is OVER! You have given me NO reason to be nice to you. If your friends treated you the way you treat us you would ditch them. If she threatens to call child services - Hand her the phone. Then STICK to the program. No matter what.

Answer 90

Im 18 amd have been getting all of this for years (aside from fits of anger) but i think you should talk to your daughter calmly and try and find out if anything is wrong... Try bringing her into a counceler or a psyciatrist if you cant get threw to her Dont label it as just lazy untill you find out whats really going on there could be a mental or learning disability that is a huge factor in all of this.... Beforw you make assumptions just explore all posible amswers and DO NOT judge her for neading outside help or any posible mental illness or learning disabilitys :)

Answer 91

Well, unfortunately these are all things that can get out of hand very quickly if not taken care of. I would take the computer that she plays on and put it in my car and take it to a friends house about 15 minutes away. that way she wont be able to get to it and will have nothing else to do. For the sleeping issue, I would buy her an alarm and hide it in her room very, very, well. Make sure it is set to full blast. That way when it goes off she will eventually get frustrated with it and get up to look for it. The next day you can hhide it in another secret place. If all of this doesn't help, do what my parents did. They drove me to the local juvy and had me tour the place. If that doesn't straighten her out then you can enroll her at that juvy or one that is near you in their "scared straight" program. It shouldn't be too traumatic, but it will help on so many levels. I hope this helped.

Answer 92

Instead of thinking of how to punish her, why don't you talk to her about her lifestyle changes, tell her you are worried about her and ask if there's problems at school of with her friends. It could be that she's getting bullied, or that she's got depression or just simply a phase as she's at that age where she will be starting puberty. So instead of yelling, grounding, taking things from her why don't you try talking to her.

Answer 93

You're going to have to be even stricter with her, make the consequences higher, and then if all else fails, take her to a counselor.



But do make sure she's not suffering before you do anything else. Depression is the leading cause of suicide and you want to protect her from anything like that. not to scare you.

Answer 94

Ask her if she would like to go out and window shop with you. I always loved doing that with my mom.

Answer 95

She can't be enabled to continue her internet addiction. Simply take away her electronics, lock them in your room (especially at night; it's probably the reason she sleeps all day) and limit her internet access to an hour a day but make her earn it. If she finds the electronics then just put them in your car. Also, don't tell her that she'll be a deadbeat or whatever. That will just make it worse.

Answer 96

Yes to get her to do those activities that she should be doing take away her computer and minecraft and tell her that sh has to do those activities or she will be grounded longer. But what do I know I'm also 14.

Answer 97

Punish her by forcing her to do house duties and if she didn do it delete her minecraft account or take away the computer. Honestly you wouldn't want to see your daughter going to the wrong path. Try hiding her devices at outside of your house and it could be at anywhere from your offices, cousins house just anywhere as long as not in ur house. About the discipline thing try finding a person that she is really scared of. I try doing this to my daughter by bringing her to my cousin sisters house which is her aunt and she is so afraid of her and at last she changed.

Answer 98

Just let her be; look at the bright side; at least she is not out doing things she's not suppose to, You should be proud of her.

Answer 99

Honestly teens now a days are crazy. You're lucky you have a daughter that stays home rather then goes out with friends and does who knows what. Atleast at home you know what she is doing. But reminder school is very important, as long as she has school she should have mine craft , let her know if she fails , she wont have the computer anymore. I am 18 , i know what im saying ! Take my advice (:

Answer 100

take away her stuff and show her what you did when u were here age. Our generation is becoming spoiled and it's not good. We have to show kids what life is really about, not whos texting or skyping you. Talk to her and tell her what she is doing will get her into trouble as an adult. Teach her now so it stays imprinted into her mind forever

Answer 101

Do something with her electronics and give her a ball or tell her that she can go to her friends house. She needs to know that laziness is unhealthy and will ruin her body. If all she does after school or on weekends is play on her electronic then I'd suggest, not to be mean, but to tell her to do the dishes, the laundry or even maybe if her room is dirty to clean it

Answer 102

cook her in your oven

Answer 103

i would set a limit to the amount of time she's using it. I would also put her in a sport again.

Answer 104

Sell all her elecrtronics on ebay. Just kidding... but make her realize you brought her into this world and you can make it miserable every step of the way. Since it is generally frowned upon to physically punish your children, if you drive her to school, go into the school in your pajamas or under wear. Burn all her clothes and only giver a shirt that says " I farted on you when you put banana peppers in the wheaties" just kidding about all of that, I am fa very ztrange person

Answer 105

Tougher, more engaged parenting is in order.

Answer 106

She'll get over it.

Answer 107

Please meet your Psychologist .

Answer 108

Why are you allowing it??

Answer 109

put her into Care or a Boot Camp.

Answer 110

Do absolutely nothing for her except feed her actually you only have to make sure there is food available for her let her get it herself. Don't buy her any new clothes, don't drive her anywhere, don't give her any $ unless she earns it. You probably bought the game for her so take it away. Take the TV out of her room if she has one, If she uses the one in the family room put your channel on whether she was watching it first or not. She could run away and if she does, call the cops.

Answer 111

Let her be 14 years old.It only comes once in life.When she grows up she'll be busy the rest of her life.LEAVE HER BE!!

Answer 112

I would not do anything for her. If she is going to not contribute or help out in any way why should you do anything for her? There is a way to deactivate certain devices and you can lock them with a password. Maybe if that doesn't work she will become less lazy, it might be just a phase. Or she may be depressed if she doesn't want to do anything and is just good at hiding it.

Answer 113

Sounds like shes hooked on minecraft. Make her realize theres more to life than just games. And whatever she wants make her work for it so she becomes independent.

Answer 114

Are you SURE she's not desperately unhappy?

Answer 115

take away all electronics She would have to earn them back by doing chores. When she has no clean clothes because you have hidden them all she will soon discover you mean business. Make a chore list. The quicker it is finished the quicker she can begin to get the use of things back. If it takes all summer she will find nothing new or clean to wear to school and you will be taking her in whatever she has on when it is time to leave the house.

Set a bed time and awake time.

Set her outside tell her to find something to do she will not be sitting at the computer all day and night.

Answer 116

Change the wifi password and don't let her back online until she gets her grades up and helps out.

Answer 117

Snake v Egg.



You don't even know your own fraeking 7daughter. Blah. I wish I was dead/alive.

Answer 118

Just ler her do it, kids will not give up, they will whine and complain and even if you don't give into their whining, they will continue doing it once they get it back. This is completly normal so don't worry.

Answer 119

She needs to have a complete physical exam done by a medical doctor. She could be depressed. She may need some counseling. The computer and other electronics must be taken away from her and locked up.

Answer 120

Become their friend. Talk to her, tell her how you feel and that her behavior is BS.

Your methods of "discipline" are old and shes too old for grounding, youre just going to piss her off, and shell hate you and leave and find acceptance elsewhere.

Be real with her, shes grown up now whether you like it or not. And frankly, I play minecraft with my 10 and 11 yr old cousins, and you WANT her playing minecraft at home rather than trying meth for the first time at school with the bad kids. Im 26, ive seen it, I know whats out there, and whats evolving.

Be real with her, talk to her as an equal, as an ADULT. Tell her how you feel, and the "unfairness" of her behavior. They can smell BS.

Best of luck, friend.

Answer 121

Get rid of the computer. Sel lit, or junk it.



Charge her room and board, like $7.50 for each meal she eats at home, $10 a night to sleep in her bed, and figure out how much electricity the TV uses and charge her $2.00 for every hour she watches TV.

Now, you agree to pay her an allowance of $300 a week for her to clean your house, do the dishes, do the laundry, and so on. Every Saturday, you pay her $300. but SHE owes YOU $10 a day for her room and bed, about $10 a day for watching TV, and about $22 a day for food, so SHE pays YOU $42 x 7 = $294. leaving her with about $6 a week allowance to spend as she wants.



Tell her that if she doesn;t like that deal, she is free to find a better one.

Answer 122

Don't just hide her electronics, resell them and tell her that she's going to have to buy them herself - and in order to do so, she's going to have to get a job or otherwise earn money, and subsequently out there and develop some marketable skills.



Anyone can survive without electronics, forcibly or not.

Answer 123

This is quite likely to be a hormone thing. It is now a known fact that people of this age need a lot of sleep. I remember going through a stage of lying in bed until 2pm, when I was that age. I honestly felt so tired and thought I was being bullied, when people would constantly shout the time of day and wake me. It made me worse. The body is going through massive changes at that age, both male and female. Just try to grin and bare it. Maybe get some energy drinks.

Answer 124

I used to be a lazy 14 yr old daughter, until I became a lazy 15 yr old daughter.

Answer 125

Okay, I can honestly say that I have went through this faze myself and im willing to bet that most 14 year olds in this generation will too. Even though im only 17 myself and I have grown out of that faze. I was lazy and didn't care about my grade I had to go to summer school for 7th and 9th grade and I 'hated' everyone and everything. I made no effort to participate in anything my family was doing. And all my friends were the same. Middle School is a very difficult time in a teenagers life because there trying to fit in with the people who seem to have there life together(when they probably don't) and they want to get a boyfriend/girlfriend so they fit in, and there trying t act like adults and some how prove that there responsible even though they usually are not. teens at this age have it the worst because everybody treats them like little children but there expected to act like adults. And this generation is horrible to live in because of society. society has a picture of how were supposed to look,act,etc.... and that is racing through every teenagers mind every miniut of every day. Every thing they do there thinking about how society sees them and if there fitting in right. School is the most stressful thing most teenagers have in there life right now and believe me it can be brutal and when they get home from school all they want to do is shut everyone and everything out, and are constantly praying, hoping that they fit in good . They worry about this stuff so much that's its impossible to get any school work done because all they can think about is fitting in. Thats the problem is all they think about is fitting in. So please don't be upset at what i say next but cut her some slack, it might not seem like it but believe me shes trying her best, and shes not intentionally trying to not do her part in the family, its just a faze and she will get through it, but you have to be there for her to, as hard as it is. BTW. sorry this is so long lol.

Answer 126

Your daughter has been allowed to become addicted. Bring the electronics to a friend's house. Put them in a locked area, and don't let ANYONE know where the key is, then stand strong for the future sake of your daughter. Bring it to work and stash it there if you must. (Hopefully you have a laptop which is easier to hide than a desktop.) Make her earn it back in one hour increments at first, slowly, so she can learn to focus her time where its best used within that hour. Warn her if she gives you ANY attitude it will be taken away again for another few days. Its on her shoulders then. In addition, she must use it in a public area like the kitchen or living room. No bringing it into her room or hiding with it. (One of my grandson's was forced to do this with his addicted teenage son, and the benefits have been hugely successful with better grades, attitude, chores sharing, study habits, and he's 10X more calm now that he isn't allowed to spend so much time sitting. But you must stand calm and strong regardless of any forthcoming histrionics on their part. Expect them, but they do simmer down once they know you mean business. She will have no choice but to change her behavior----if you first change yours.



Kids today are becoming addicted to these toys at the expense of being effectively socialized enough to actually face interact with other human beings. From what my husband tells me (a retired psychologist), he dealt with a growing number of kids who were actually secretly frightened/overwhelmed by such easy access to anything they desire, which we all know can be found on the internet. Yet they don't have the where-with-all to push back against pretty intense peer pressure surrounding them on every side. Or they are terrified of being left behind technologically speaking, especially now that jobs are scarcer than hen's teeth. They are not unaware.



Personally, I've concluded the more technology we 'enjoy', the less wisdom is being taught and/or modeled in school or at home.

Answer 127

take her out and let her see what it looks outside, like shopping, camping, picnic, or just a simple lunch together,

and while you are out have someone remove all games and electronics from her room

You should have taught her how to help from a earlier age

Answer 128

It sounds like your daughter may be dealing with a personality disorder. Some of that behavior is normal for a female her age, others aren't. It is important to identify these things quickly in order to help her with therapy, not medication. Please take your daughter to a psychotherapist, for her sake and the sake of her future.

Answer 129

Boy have you screwed up! You failed to guide and discipline this young girl from an early age. You have instilled in her the belief that life has no rewards for her efforts, so she makes no efforts to achieve a goddamn thing. She obviously has developed little or no self esteem and could even be suffering from a form of depression because of that. Every state of mind has a root cause.

Answer 130

Maybe she is depressed and there is a reason why she is doing nothing. I wouldn't nag her or make her feel bad id be supportive and try to find the reason why.

Answer 131

She can't be skyping strange boys all night. You have to pull the electronics for awhile. Lock them up somewhere. Lend them to relatives in a distant state. Your girl is spiraling out of control and you have to help her get herself together before you end up an accidental grandparent. Let her earn her privileges back bit by bit. Yes, she will make everyone miserable, but you can't keep rewarding tantrums, which is what you do when you let her have her electronics back after her rants. Family counseling may help.

Answer 132

It takes a certain kind of mind to excel in the IT field. I've yet to meet a serious computer nerd that doesn't get moody when pulled away from a game.



The good news is she is into Minecraft! Minecraft is written in Java and therefore her game cheats are in Java. The ability to write in this language is a very in demand skill. It's not easy to learn. If she thinks it's fun, all the better. She could even work for herself one day writing whatever program she has a whim to. This is how many a computer nerd starts out.



Plus, virtual boys aren't going to get her pregnant or on drugs.

Answer 133

My daughter is driving me mad, her whole attitude stinks she is becoming so lazy, when you talk to her she basically ignores you. She is only interested when she is being given money or she wants something and then once she gets what she wants the attitude returns!



I have had problems with her at school, but touch wood that seems to have sorted itself out for now.



I took everything away from her I basically stripped her bedroom bare ... tv .. blackberry .. He favourite clothes .. shoes .. make-up .. i pod you name it I took it away.



I told her that I want her do do something productive during the 6 weeks holiday's as I am not putting up with her laying in bed all day doing nothing, she said well I will go out. I don't want her to just go out and hang around I want her to go and do something learn a skill but she said she's not interested and she doesn't like going to places on her own. I said the whole point of going and doing new things is that you get to meet new people!



I am just sick to death of her .. She has no drive no enthusiasm .. everything I suggest she says i'm not interested in that ... OMG I FEEL LIKE SCREAMING!



Anyone else got similar problems ??

Answer 134

You need to talk to her and show her how she is wasting her life away simply doing nothing. Take her on a trip or do something she will enjoy to show her how great life is when you enjoy the littler things and step away from pointless time wasting things like video games. Still allow her to play video games every once in a while but not often. Don't allow to her to play minecraft or use electronics if she throws those fits when asked to help around the house. This is coming from a 15 year old.

Answer 135

Give her chores and study notes. Take her laptop as a punishment for bad grades or chores done badly. My mom used to do that when I didn't empty the dishwasher or feed my pets. She didn't need to take it away for grades because I got A's. She might yell at you, but she'll calm down later when she wants her laptop back. Even if she asks politely, tell her to get a(n) (_B_) in (_Algebra_). Oh, and give her a specific amount of money for each month, and she can't go over that. Don't let her chat with boys you don't know ONLINE! That is the worst form of giving away personal information. Delete Skype off her laptop if it continues. Good luck!

Answer 136

I'm a 14 year old girl and if you turn the wifi off and turn her phone off for a week or two and don't let her go with her friends, that should do the trick. I personally don't participate in any sports at the moment, nor any extra activities but it's not because I'm lazy I would rather spend that time on school work. If turning her phone and wifi off I suggest you make her participate in a sport or something she doesn't like until she stops throwing tantrums and helps

Answer 137

Your 14 year old daughter isn't really lazy. She's addicted to the billions on billions of possibilities on minecraft. Minecraft becomes your second life with the ability to come into contact with millions of players. Minecraft lets you do everything from building or buying a house to creating little families in your own little world that you create. You cannot make something that she likes better because she basically has everything in the world of minecraft. (What it seems like is she is a moderator on a server. The job of those moderators is to make sure no one is hacking or disrespecting the other players). The problem is that they begin to get power hungry and start acting like they are above everyone with their rank or she is a faction leader and is acting ruthless as a "PvP God". If she actually is a moderator and she is acting like that it is very likely that she is behaving the same way in game and she doesn't notice. The best way to stop it is to get her demoted so she fully realizes what is happening to her behavior. To do this, simply take screenshots whenever she acts questionable or exhibits behaviors that show that she is not fit to be staff. The owner of the server will demote her and its very likely she will spend less time on that server. The people she is talking to are probably other staff members or members in her faction.



Oh, and how to help with grounding. Send the electronics to a family member in another residence. My mother used to do that to my brother all the time and she would send his iPhone all the way to our family members in Puerto Rico so he couldn't get them unless they mailed it back.

Answer 138

Typically a severe change like this is caused by depression. See if she is having trouble at school and ask how she is feeling. She may be getting bullied. Don't worry about the boys, teenagers need their own privacy. If she hasn't been talking to you, like how you don't know the boys, she may feel like you don't listen or care. Let her know you are always there to talk but when she does come to talk to you make sure to look her in the eyes and let her say everything she needs to say before interrupting. Being a teen is hard and it's getting harder and harder as the years pass a lot of things they worry about kids didn't have to 20-30 years ago. The internet and media and how we see ourselves has changed a lot. Just make sure you aren't yelling at her all the time sometimes you just have to let them win.

Answer 139

First thing I'd do is take ALL electronics away. For as long as it takes. Then, I'd search for reasons WHY this child's world has shrunk to the point of isolation. Kids isolating is not normal, and it's not healthy. Try to find out if she's been bullied at school, or possibly molested, or possibly encountered a situation she's not emotionally equipped to handle, so she's retreated from life. It may take some time, but search until you find out why she's isolated herself, then find ways to appropriately help her overcome whatever it is in life that she's running from. It might mean you'll need to curtail YOUR activities for awhile, be it work, or other things, but she is your number one responsibility, and priority. If it's simply a matter of her being addicted to electronic games, remove all forms of electronics permanently, and help her find a healthy replacement for them.

Answer 140

Do not listen to Happy Purple Elephants! Yes, girls do go through puberty and hormones, but I heavily doubt that's the (only) cause of your daughter's behavior. Take it from me, a 14 year old girl.



A big possibility is depression. You might think that she has no reason to be depressed, but kids have a lot of stuff going on at this age. Symptoms of depression are, loss of interest in activities, irritability, restlessness, excessive sleeping or not getting enough sleep, etc. If these match up to her, you should try and confront her. If you do, be careful. She might not react in the best way. Maybe she was/is bullied, maybe she's lacking self-confidence, maybe it's something else.



I hate to say it but she also might just be going through that dating obsessed teenage girl phase. My cousin (same age as me) is going through this and it isn't pretty for any one of us. She is wildly inappropriate and completely disrespectful to every adult she encounters.



Her mother is failing at giving her the proper discipline she deserves. Though my cousin has gone through horrible abuse from her father and step-mother and molestation when she was 8.



I don't mean to frighten you with all these hypotheticals but please take some time to consider them. Take her to a doctor or therapist if she gets worse. Maybe one night you could stay up in listen in on her conversations. Invading her privacy may be necessary.



Hope I helped!

Answer 141

She probably going thru puberty at a young age but don't worry you must fix it now before it gets worse . Like the lady said I agree if you take her to a young boot camp for kids like her if you want info about that you must talk to a police or a close by prison and they can give you a lot of information and advice as well. Also I suggest you take her computer away is very scary to be skyping at night with strangers don't be afraid to take her electronic s and ask her what's going on . Also I suggest counselling with her .anyways don't worry just be there for her and make sure your aware and what she does.

Answer 142

You parents act so afraid to HIT your children. I'm sorry if it sounds like a barbaric and mean thing to do, but it WORKS! That kind of behavior sounds disgusting and worth a slap. You don't have to hit her on the face or anything, but one good hit should shock her and set her straight. Take those things away and hide them somewhere where you know she will not find (in the car, at your neighbors house, etc). Some of you parents are too nice with your children and that is what causes them to grow up doing lawless things and disrespect you because they know you won't do anything that bad to them. If you don't feel like putting your hands on your children because you feel it could cause them some mental problem (whatever), be more strict and let them know you don't play. C'mon people!

Answer 143

If she wants to spend all of her time in a virtual "time out room", Let her have it. remove everything that pertains to electronic communication and games. Keep her in the room until she READS something out of sheer boredom. Tough love but SHE chose the playing field. Don't buy anything new for her. Make her get a job. She'll probably fail miserably but at least she will have tasted personal worth and what others may actually think of her. Find out if she has sequestered any personal interests. There's a bunch of stuff to do. Talking to her is the BEST. [ I mean talking to and not complaining or yelling!}

Answer 144

I cannot believe you would allow it to get to this point, but because you did, here's what you can do to solve it:

-Give her chores, every time she fails to accomplish them, ground her by taking away her stuff for at least a week

-do the same whenever she refuses to help someone out

-To properly take away something from someone who looks for her things, you have to put them somewhere sealed (like a safe)

-Screaming isn't an answer, but talking calmly is very effective

-Put her back in sports, even in summer. Because it is affecting her health, she has lost her right to quit on her own.

-Have her pay for every single game and electronic device she owns or wants and have her work for that money

-Monitor her on screen time. There are several apps that allow you to have that control (what time she can use her electronics, for how long, etc) available for free download

-Block apps that allow her to interact with strangers without any sort of supervision or that you simply don't like

Answer 145

UNPLUG and Confiscate her 'Devices'. No Pc, Apple computer, data/text capable phone. Wow! Show her

Louis L'Amour 'Old West' books. J D Robb/Nora Roberts 'escapist' thrilling Romance BOOKS!



Oh Phooey --- she's 14. Listen to Happy Purple Elephant -- Puberty and Adolescence and SHE stays home?

YOU are fortunate that SHE hasn't found a Different social Extreme to Emulate!

Answer 146

To be completely honest, I'm not far from the description you gave about your daughter. I'm also in 8th grade, I play Minecraft but I'm not as addicted, and I do have a couple of friends from Minecraft whom I talk to on Skype (but only on voice call).



Back to the point, my mother used to take away every single electronic device I owned at night, from my very first device (the Nintendo DS Lite) to my phone, laptop, iPad, etc. She allows me to keep them in my bedroom now, because I've learned to balance schoolwork and entertainment time.



You should discipline her by first off taking her devices away to hopefully reduce her Minecraft addiction. Then, you should be extremely strict and make her do household chores and get good grades in order to receive entertainment time. Although it might sound harsh to your own child, this is the way my (Asian) mother raised me, and because of it I can control my temptations to go on my laptop late at night, and still get decent grades.



I can relate to your daughter a lot, but I assure you that this will help. You are the parent, and you need to let her know that. When she throws angry tantrums, leave her. Keep her in her room. Let her think about her actions and the consequences she's received. Gradually, keep doing this when she throws tantrums, and she will begin to learn. All of this might be a lot to do, but it helps, and it will hopefully prevent her from ending up with a low-paying job due to her bad grades.



Another thing you might want to consider is her emotional state. She may be going through something extremely tough right now, and as a parent, you should try to get her to talk to you and show her that you will listen and understand. If there is something going on, you may want to think about counselling. You should also monitor her laptop activity to ensure that she is not doing anything inappropriate.



I hope this helps!

Answer 147

I am a father of 16 and i generally spend my time with my kids in the shower. I teach them how to reach tough spots. bang bang

Answer 148

Depending on the state you live in at age 16 you can have her emancipated by the court. A friend of mine did that with his son. He bought the kid a one way ticket to Hawaii, gave him $2,000 and told him to get a life. "If you want to spend it all on dope, son, that's on you. You don't want to take direction...well... from now on you don't have to."



Sometimes you have to let people go... even your kids. Sad, but true!

Answer 149

Let her not be lazy? Trust me... I am lazy... I wish I wasnt

Answer 150

Change the wifi password and tell her to do chores and so on for the wifi password (it always works)

Answer 151

I would definitely get her to a counselor. And I would not let her tell me 'no' for an answer. Your the parent so take charge. She has probably just 'turned you off' and it will only get worse as she becomes more defiant. Otherwise you will just get into constant battles with her and not make any progress.

Answer 152

obviously, unhook the computer and immediately communicate with the school regarding next steps as this situation is beyond just the parent.

Answer 153

Tell her to cut it out

Answer 154

maybe you should have started the discipline thing when she was a lot younger....

Answer 155

Take her to church. Go to a church that teaches the word of God and nothing else. She will tend to associate with other girls and boys who behave well. Buy her a Christian book she can understand. You can ask around about a good book she can read or have someone read it to her and explain the things she can't understand.

Answer 156

, "for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap".

Answer 157

the question is who is the mom or daughter

Answer 158

Tell her to add me on league of legends my username is "R3D3Y3K1K1"

Answer 159

sounds like DEPRESSION!!!! therapy perhaps?

Answer 160

You should have raised her differently😂

Answer 161

You really need to reward her for completing tasks, chores and good behavior. You also need to get her to agree to join groups and become less socially isolated and possibly see a therapist with her to find out what is troubling her so much that she has no strong interests in life apart from playing games.

Answer 162

well, have you ever thought of bringing out the belt?

or simply turning the wifi off.

Answer 163

Who is the grown-up here? Take way her gadgets.....No minecraft, no Skype until she does her chores and every time she disrespects you, lengthens the time until she gets her gadgets back.....there's always grounding if that doesn't work...but take it slowly....DO NOT GIVE IN...Mo MA and Grandma.....be strong and firm....

Answer 164

She needs love and attention. . She needs warmth of love. Sometimes people who are unconsciously sad about something, does these kinda things. She has changed suddenly , i think something went inappropriate in her life. Help her with your warm touch and love.

Answer 165

so im 13 and i know what its like its probably just a phase but if you take away her things only do it for a day so she can think but not think enough for her to hate you. try to take her out and bond with her become closer to her, she may act like thats not what she wants but im sure it is.

Answer 166

Remove privileges and start making her do chores.

Answer 167

Find out why she doesn't want to do anything and go from there. Get her to try new things that catch HER attention. Hope I helped.

Answer 168

Mandeep recommends sacrificing her to Satan. Satan is a big fan of the outdoors.

Answer 169

Start with changing your password for your internet connection!

Answer 170

Take away the electronics for good because she might be doing very bad things in them. Believe me, I'm 17 years old and I see girls like that all the time in high school. She might be posting nudes and doing illegal things, including drugs and online sex. I know because I'm from this generation and people of that kind normally do things like this and try to escape their families to do so.

Answer 171

Our boys do this too. Like you, we tried taking away their electronics. But what we found works better is to change the WiFi password. Once the kids do what we've asked, they get the new password. Of course this leads to the kids throwing a fit (as you've seen), but at least they do what we ask. ...eventually.

Answer 172

I am kind of in this stage currently being 13... I just want to be left alone. It makes me want to refuse to do things further if my parents ask me to. On my opinion, leave her alone, and eventually she will come back to you. Offer little things but neve lecture her or sign her up for something/ encourage something she does not show interest in because literally all you will be doing is making her even angrier and less willing to cooperate. Just leave her alone but don't ignore her. Let her live her life.

Answer 173

She needs a job where she can keep herself little busy.

Answer 174

You seriously need to discipline her. Unplug her computer and take it away. Lock it in the garage or something lol. Or have a talk with her and explain to her that what she is doing is wrong.

Answer 175

being vindictive and voilent twords her will only push her further away from you. try to understand where some comeing from. maybe shes depressed. maybe something happened at school and shes being socially isolated from her peers. or maybe she feels computer games give her more enjoyment then sports ever did. automatically going "OMFG TAKE AWAY ALL STUFF FROM HER AND HIT HER" is only gonna make her hate you when she becomes an adult. trying to talk to your child in a calm manner and find out whats going on will do a lot more good for her then any punishment will.

Answer 176

if you cant handle her behavior, send her to generos at mayo(mental health ward). its what my parents did, and it scared me straight (for the most part).. or make her go to a psychiatrist. she probably will hate it,i know i did. but its helpful to be able to talk to people about your problems. good luck with that.

Answer 177

Show her this... might wake her up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KFvDvqjN8gM

Answer 178

Oh my gosh! Some of these suggestions! I am a single Mom of a now 19 y/o daughter and have been since she was 2 years old. My daughter has turned out absolutely great and was never a problem growing up. Through out the years many people have commented positively on my parenting style and choices. I agree with the writers who say teen years are hard. Don't try to make them harder and unhappier by clamping down so hard. Here are some suggestions/ideas:



- patience, patience, patience don't expect huge changes overnight

- cooperation, gently explain she needs to come help you with dishes now, etc.. and then she can return to what she was doing

- choices - you can clean the bathroom or give the dog a bath, but you need to do one of them now, please or another example

- you can keep your computer with parental settings engaged or you can keep your phone without data services ....right now you need to give yourself time for other responsibilities... and we can re-evaluate again at a later time

- always treat her with respect, as a mature/intelligent teenage and always use manners - please, thank you, excuse me, I am sorry - I was wrong. I have said that to my daughter many times - because it was true!

- never get mad, threaten, raise your voice - you are the adult dealing with this and setting an example

- check in with her every day after school and ask what she has due by tomorrow and if she needs your help with it (I know this is hard, because kids her age won't always tell you that they have homework)

- suggest each keeping a notebook for communicating with each other to minimize arguments by having time to decompress and rethink the situation. Each write in your notebook through out the day and exchange them at night. (needs, upcoming expectations (Saturday we're doing yard work) frustrations, things that made you proud/happy, thanking her)

- tell her she needs to be involved in two activities, hobbies, clubs at all times and let her choose them (within your budget). They don't need to be high-demand athletics or even through her school. She may need you to help her explore/find options - volunteering, parks and rec aid, hip/hop dance, French or Art Club, help with animals at a shelter, Fantasy card playing groups (like Pokeman).

- make a weekly date night/day with her - to just enjoy each others company or to allow follow up on anything that she wants to talk about or you need to talk about from the notebooks. My daughter, even now, loves to go to Dairy Queen with me. Just hang out in the car with ice cream and talk about whatever.

- as for boys - I agree, that it does need to be monitored closely especially on the internet but its natural that girls start becoming interested in boys at that age. Let her have guy friends to the house (not behind closed doors) and make it as positive as possible so that she will want to do it more often. Be giving in the sense of extending visiting hours on the weekend, allowing them access to the TV to watch their show or play their video game, provide snacks, don't be hovering over them.

- finally, if you've tried everything you can think of and still no improvement, she may truly need some outside help. I'd rather see a child receive meds than to be sad, upset and getting in trouble all the time.

- Or there is always Dr. Phil. ;)



Good luck - you can do it - be positive, calm, patient and loving!

Answer 179

Take her to therapy. This sounds awful. Best of wishes, and hopefully the therapist can help you figure things out. I know it helped my family :)

Answer 180

Don't just take away her electronics throw them out! Take away everything leave her with just her bed and two changes of clothes in her room and make her earring back by helping out around the house and being nice to be around. And so that she can't find them put the stuff in a storage locker too far away for her to walk to and don't buy her any new devices for at least a year or make them the very last thing she earns back. You're just going to have to deal with her temper tantrums.

Answer 181

I don't know about your daughter.but I stared with gaming and then I wanted to be a hacker.Now im a programmer.my parents didn't help me to learn programming.So I don't have any degree or certificate.but now im earn enough money to live :) :) .. I think you better help her to learn programming or something she likes..

Answer 182

You need to first understand the game of Minecraft and how complex it is. It takes hours to build certain things and other people can destroy your hard-earned stuff if you aren't there to defend it. In addition, there is a lot of collaboration involved which is why it's really important to her to be online when her teammates are. Sit near the computer without actually looking over her shoulder and observe. Tell her you really want to understand the game and why it takes a long time and why it's so interesting and fun for her. Then work from there. I give my son warnings. "I need you to get off the computer in thirty minutes to help me with dinner." Then I give him a twenty-minute warning and a ten-minute one. I ask if he's playing with someone or alone. I let him negotiate with me.



Also, this is an age where socialization is crucial to young people. She is probably feeling accepted by her peers, especially the boys, and this is very important to her self-esteem. Like it or not, online is the primary way for many kids to socialize these days, especially if they feel like misfits. Your daughter needs a lot of understanding. You need to meet her more than halfway.



She may be sleeping because she's depressed. She may also be bored, going through a growth spurt, or just tired from staying up all night. I would absolutely not just take the computer away. She's likely addicted to it. If it's in her room, move it to the living room where you can monitor it. You can turn off the wifi or change the code so she can't access the internet at certain times. Unfortunately, since Minecraft doesn't operate via a browser, productivity apps like StayFocusd won't work.



Negotiate calmly. Listen without judging. Express your concerns respectfully. She's becoming an adult. Help her figure out how to be a good one, and most importantly don't break her trust with hardline tactics or you might ruin your relationship forever. As someone else said, better this than sex and drugs. At least she's home. Good luck!

Answer 183

The blame lie's with you

Answer 184

You created your own monster!

Answer 185

When I was having trouble with being active, and I was always on my computer Dad hid the WiFi cable for 3 months until I started doing some chores around the house. It probably won t work for everyone, but it worked for me, now I only spend half an hour on electronics daily(except schoolwork). Surely she can t have searched the whole house for electronics, find a spot she will never think of and keep it there! Dad hid ours in an old Chicken Chippees box in the freezer, creative much! And he cut out pages in the middle of an old book to put my iPhone in, then he put it back in it s spot on the bookshelf. If she does some chores, reward her with one electronic of her choice for a set amount of time. Make sure the place she is doing electronics is somewhere you can sneak up from behind and look at what she s doing, like in the living room or at the kitchen table.



Skype at night with boys you don t know? ABSOLUTELY NO NO NO! Take all electronics out of her room at night (phone, laptop) and put it in your room while you sleep.

Answer 186

In order to prevent your daughter from finding any electronics, you need to get rid of it out of the house. You also need to monitor who your daughter is talking to on the internet because there are older men who are into younger girls and some girls will put up provocative pictures. Recently, this black women found out her 11 yr old daughter was posting provocative pictures to guys on the internet. A while back, a young girl was talking to an older man on the internet who was posing as a 16 yr old boy. He told her he wanted to meet her. She thought she was meeting a 16 yr old boy, but instead she met an older man in his 40s who kidnapped her and held her against her will at his house. When her parents reported her missing, the cops decided to check her computer for any leads, and they found out about the man that was pretending to be a teen. They found his house, and when they arrived there found the girl tied up on the bed. The cops saved her, and they arrested the man at his job. Your daughter is probably going through something right now, but playing video games all day is ridiculous. You need to get her to do other activities, and don't let her talk to guys on the internet at night. Whoever she is talking to on the internet could be influencing her to act how she does. When I was in the 8th grade my grades went down, and I avoided doing any school work because something had happened to me that affected me. So you need to talk to your daughter, and see if something is wrong.

Answer 187

Well one way to go at it is to just ask her if she will go hangout with her friends, or just even go straight forward with it and ask her why she dropped all her hobbies she loved you can explain that looking back to on her summer did she really have fun? She also could he depressed normally depressed people drop all the things she loves to do but don't ask her if she's depressed she will most likely get mad. You could also just start by taking a couple hours away from the game and tell her to do something fun or you could take her to do something fun to stop her from playing it. My 14 year old brother did the same thing for awhile and it bothered me so I mad him quit it and socialize telling him he needs to go live out his life as a teenager with friends instead of a computer. Wish you the best of luck with your daughter!

Answer 188

Take her stuff away, make sure she is reminded that the parent is in charge, and ask and try to consult with her to see if anything's wrong. She might be having stress at school, which explains why she don't do her work, and do you pamper her? That might explain why she is acting spoiled and lazy, everything is done for her her way.Try to see who she is with, she might have been influenced the wrong way. If that fails, spank her. Sounds wrong but if she continues her behaviour at her age after she had got help she needs it. Plus @sophieb has a more detailed answer.

Answer 189

I would take her computer ect out of the house maybe give to a relative until her behaviour improves also give her responsibilities like do your own washing get basics like bread an milk stuff for dinner so she has to be more independent. She will soon realise to pull her wait she is realising that she has her independence and choices can't be told what to do and is asserting this. Maybe also take her out and have a good chat about issues and it maybe she feels isolated peoples lifes are so busy now the children are sometimes neglected. You can only point out the dangers of being online and hopefully she will listen.

Answer 190

If it was up to me, I would take away the her phone, computer etc until her grades improve also I would cut her allowance in half and if she would keep messing around then I would cut it in half again. The only thing more humiliating to a young girl like her isn't that she has no money, but that she has some money, but not much. That's just me though, I have no kids so what the hell do I know, right?

Answer 191

Cancel the wi fi and encourage her to go out. Introduce her to new things. If her internet games are so important to her tell her she must contribute to pay for them. Get her a job in a shop or riding stables or something like that. If not get her to help with the house work.



She could be going through a tough time with her hormones, periods can give bouts of depression and other bad times. Try talking to her, maybe she is being bullied at school or school work is too tough for her. You may need to talk to her teacher or the school. Wishing you the best.

Answer 192

Please please please do not punish her. You'll only make things worse. One in five teenagers have a mental illness of some sort, and it sounds like she might have developed one. I myself went from being super social and active and positive to never leaving my room, exercising, or socializing. She might not be doing her school work because she's too exhausted of mentally drained. You cannot punish your child because they are no longer active or because they are not doing well in school. You cannot punish a child because they no want to participate in sports. Not all kids do well in school, especially around that age, even if they were doing well before. Maybe she no longer has an interest in sports. The ages 13 and 14 really impact a teens mental and emotional state for some reason. Things start changing, and they start changing too, whether they want to or not. Loss of interest in activities and sleeping all day are common signs of depression. Maybe instead of punishing her you should try talking to her and maybe even get her a therapist. The boys are probably only just friends, and maybe she only skypes with them at night so she can talk privately while it's quiet, so she can talk without being disturbed. You aren't going to know every single one of her friends, and that's okay. She probably cries and screams because she's overwhelmed, or because she's trying to communicate that she's not okay. I highly doubt she thinks she's superior, in fact she probably thinks the exact opposite. Self esteem and happiness drops majorly around the ages of 13 and 14, and if anything she probably feels threatened or hurt. I wouldn't punish her, in fact I'd be more lenient with her if anything. She's obviously struggling with SOMETHING. I personally wouldn't punish her. Have you tried talking to her? Reduce her chores? She's going through something, and you punishing her is going to make things worse. I suggest talking to her, or getting her a therapist, see if she does in fact have a mental illness. You cannot punish a child because they are going through normal changes. If you think it's hard for you, try thinking about how hard it is for her.

Answer 193

I don't know how you will take this since its a bit controversial but punishment, grounding, spanking works.

But she's in 8th grade now so it might be tough.



As a kid my parents would punish and spank me when I did something wrong or behaved bad.

This caused a certain fear in me since I knew what was coming if I did something bad.



My parents are good and loving though so I never took it as abuse. If your lenient and passive they will never listen and think they can do what ever they want.

Answer 194

You don't know how many people I've seen who did this in 8th grade and are now suffering in9th grade, they are in the lowest of lowest classes, and are high school dropouts and have nothing in their hands, you can only do so much to put her back on path in 9th grade, but she will have to wake up by herself or she's screwed in high school.

Answer 195

Sounds like very poor parenting to me. You take away electronics and she finds them ? Gimme a break !

Have you ever heard of discipline ? Tell her if she doesn't shape up and respect you, she will be shipped out to a military school so they can discipline her.

Answer 196

BEAT HER ***!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so you mean to tell me you took her phone and she found it and you did NOTHING! god bless you

Answer 197

just warn her about the future

Answer 198

Im 14 too but im responsible. you should buy a safe and keep her stuff in there. and about the skype thing lock up the wifi and dont give her a password. and put a tracker on the computer so u know what she does. i play minecraft too but when my parents call me i run like hell to see what they need. if she keeps resisting you break her electornics. my parents did all this crap to me

Answer 199

Have you ever considered talking to her to see what goes on in her mind? maybe she's not lazy, maybe it's something else. probably she's having to deal with emotional struggles or something. just talk to her.

Answer 200

Get a bran new awesome laptop like i5 with a nvidea geforce 870m with 2gb video memory and 8gb ram.Then ur daughter will get jealous and stop playing minecrft for a while to geton ur laptop.

He laptops cost like 900 or 700, pretty cheap for a good laptop.

Ps:if she does touch ur laptop then....pick her up and lock her in a room for punishment and say..."there are ghosts in there hehehe"

Answer 201

I use to be like this but i evolved and changed. My parents put me in private school and i realised i wanted to achieve. I changed at 16 i have 2 degrees now and i go to the gym and jog. She will mature and change. Shes at that age. I wouldnt worry just yet

Answer 202

Trade her in.

Answer 203

Burn it and start fresh :)

Answer 204

she may have aspergers syndrome. you might need therapy. it could be signs of other mental ilness

Answer 205

Set rules and be firm about it. Teach her the word respect . Show her the goodness in everything . Better yet , involve her in an activity that teaches good things in a fun way like sing in' in the church .Help her change :) Discipline starts when the change is in heart.

Answer 206

Start punishing her for being disobedient. Take away her phone and computer or ground her.

Answer 207

Ask her, "Do you want to F for the rent?

It will get a shocked change in attitude!

Answer 208

Make her work or kick her out

Answer 209

could be depression

Answer 210

Puberty, it's all about puberty.

Answer 211

Apparently, she has been not cared iner earlier years. She has developed laziness meanwhile. Now when she is in teens, it is difficult to change her. It will be necessary to consult a psychologist at this stage. Some strictness to mend her may be necessary.

Answer 212

Her name is Alex.

Answer 213

grab a Frisbee and go out side and play with her or do some sort of activity with her ...lead by example ....and kindness goes a very long way....kids are more responsive when you are positive and nice...it may take a few tries but be patient and positive and it will work

Answer 214

find out what she likes to do then help her achieve something in that by letting her take some classes or something idk

Answer 215

well let me tell you something i use to play video games called runescape kinda like minecraft that its popular i was addicted to it for like 7th hrade to freshmen so at sophmore year i started to experiment weed i quit playing games all call of duty since then smoked weed for like a month straight everyday then never played video games in freshmen year i had straight Bs and As when i played video games started smoming weed became a c and D student but i quit weed and just made stupid friends i mean pretty much everyone in highschool is smoking weed and even in middle school so what you expect computer or her to experiment weed because im 100% everyone has smoked weed in there high school years and middle school so yeah and trust me weed is close to doing other drugs but i never did em so trust me and also i heard minecraft is really addicting so yeah you should play it and ull become addicted i never played but yeah trust me and also pretty much evrryone at that age plays video games

Answer 216

Do nothing. You can't win.



Ignore her, no shopping, nothing.

Answer 217

Give her a roster for when she can use the computer & have it turned off at the power point at all other times. Encourage her to find a hobby. She must have interests she can pursue. Get her to help out around the house for pocket money.

Answer 218

I don't think you're discipline methods are going to work. I'm currently 14 and when my mother does stuff like that to me, to be honest, it does t make me want to change my behaviour for the better, but for the worse. I think that you need to show her respect and eventually she'll respect you back. Getting angry definitely doesn't work for me. But if you're nice to her, she will change.

Answer 219

Make her get a job or do chores.

Answer 220

She's probably just really depressed because I did the same thing during that time...

Answer 221

Talk to your daughter about her online experiences. You may find what she is doing in Minecraft is important to her. Talk to her about her online friends. They might be good kids.



Talk to your daughter and find out why she is not involved in the sports and arts programs she used to like. Is she being bullied, or are “nice” kids using their popularity to exclude her? Kids can physically outgrow sports or activities like gymnastics or ballet. They might not be progressing the way they’d like in band or orchestra. Their singing voices may have changed. Or they may be experiencing aches and pains that they didn’t have when they were younger, and they may need to see a doctor. The only way to find out is to talk about it.



If you want your daughter to go to bed earlier, it might be better help her find new activities that interest her rather than take away her access to electronics. Taking away the internet will make her angry and close down communication between you. Finding an activity for which she needs to get up in the morning nurtures her and provides logical consequences for staying up too late. If she doesn’t want to participate in “real” activities, enlist the help of her online friends. Ask her to discuss activities available to her with the friends she is skyping. She might come away from that with renewed enthusiasm. The key is not to close down communication and to allow her to find new activities she is intrinsically motivated to learn. While kids this age may need more than a little encouragement, be careful not to be too pushy. She may have lost interest in her old activities because she was not intrinsically motivated. Make sure she is choosing an activity because it furthers some goal she has for herself, not to please you.

Answer 222

Look, Im just going to cut to the chase I used to have a friend around that age (Purposely trying not to be specific) and she does all of those things. Speaking from a perspective of a person who has personally experieced a 15 year old girl addicted to minecraft, constantly trashing on her dad when we were on skype, I must say your going to have to be strict. Relfect on how you raised her. Did you spoil her? Did you give in every time she cried? Honestly, its very hard to try to change someone's bad behavior when thier in their teens. This is becase they have tons of horomones. She must be feeling kinda weird and messed up on the inside. Ok, I dont know enough info to make a solid conclusion, but from what you said I would whip out the belt like my dad did. If we disrespected him we were bent over the bed and got spanked! I would take away all the electronics. And not give them back. What I found very concerning that she was skyping with guys "ive never heard of". If I was in your situation I would take her lab top and delete her skype block all of thos unknown guy friends. You have to crack down on her. For her attitude and behavior to get this bad her friends might be influenceing her and those guys...for all we know they could be dealing drugs! (I know its a little extreme but I really dont know how severe your situation is.) Look at this way. You and your wife brought her into this world, you fed her, cared for her, loved her, never gave up on her, gave her a roof over her head, game her a computer, bought her minecraft, she wouldnt have anything if it wasnt for you, and now she is calling you sh*t. For what I have read this is what i would do. Take the computers away, for example, hide them in your car if she seems to find them so easy why not just lock all of that stuff in a safe! Dont have a safe? Worst case senerio-used your car. Put all her tech stuff in the car and lock it. Keep the keys on you at all times. I would tell her that she need to earn her stuff back. Maybe you can do something like this, you can tell her for every good deed she does she get one step closer to getting her stuff back. For example, 100 chores done correctly and neatly will get her=her phone back. I know that sounds extreme but if she does what she is supposed to do it would take at MOST 2 months. That should teach her a lesson. And if nothing has changed by then and she is still calling yo crap then raise the 100 chores to 200 in order for her to get her labtop back. If she is able to call you names and she thinks she it supior she is obviously a spoilt little brat that needs to be spanked. Unless she has a disability I highly doubt that this is beucase of bulling or any other crap like that. Always be that supporting parent that helps thier kids but also be the one who tells them, you've messed up and now you have to deal with the consequences. It all part of growing up. When raising a child you have to have 2 things. Disipline and Love. You defiently seem to have enough love for your duaghter but I dont think you have ever gotten the belt out and physically told her that you could throw her out on the streets at any moment. Oh

Here is a last resort video:

Please watch all of it and if what happens in the video seems to be happening to you=you may want to do what this guy does in the video.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU

(Copy and paste)

Answer 223

I wouldn't jump to conclusions without asking her about the situation first. You can't just assume without asking her about it first. She could be going through a rough time with someone at school or maybe herself. She could be going through a depression. The possibilities are endless. Try talking to her.

Answer 224

bullet to the back of the head

Answer 225

Tell that young lazy to get her act together and quick! Your too easy on her so she thinks that behavior is acceptable. If yelling and punishing doesn't help start taking things away such as cellphone, don't buy snacks, no money, nothing. and anything else you can hold over her head to make her listen. Good luck!

Answer 226

I was similar at that age and it was because i was depressed. Take her to psychiatrist and get a mental health evaluation. They will probably suggest a therapist.

Answer 227

Geeez I'm not looking foward to the teenage years!!



Ask her what she wants. Talk to her. Listen to her. Really listen . Perhaps she's bored at school. Maybe too many rules. Not enough time with her patents.. I don't know you or her but I remember at her age (I'm 33 now) and I was bored at school .

Answer 228

She sure sounds like a pain in the butt. She needs a lot of help and if she refuses, military school would be a great thing for her. I would not want to deal with such thing at my house. You are at fault, because you are allowing her to take power over you in the house and it seems like she is the one that sets the rules. Don't allow that. She needs a good punishment. You are lucky that she has not gone as far as hitting you not doing physical harm to any of you, because as time passes, that will happen. What she is doing is not normal at all. She's going to end up with mental problems and crazy if she continues like that. She already has a problem and it is going to get bigger and more serious if you don't do anything about it.

Answer 229

This is not not normal for a 14 year old teenager to be behaving like this. At her age, she should be working, doing chores around the house, and hanging out with friends. Tell her how you feel and tell if she does not start acting her age, she would be getting kicked out of the house. Tried to get her a job at Mcdonalds She needs to do something with her life instead of staying in the house all day.

Answer 230

I am like your daughter. Lazy and never does anything. From personal expierience you yourself aren't going to get your daughter out of bed. Try and get one of her close friends to help you. If you show your daughter things like he best friends having fun without her maybe she will be motivated to go outside. If this doesn't work show her photos of fat people and tell her this is what she'll become. If none of this works drag her out of the house and force her to stay out there for a few hours. She's bound to go somewhere productive.

Answer 231

Well from a 14 year old I would go out if and I know this sounds selfish but if their was something in it for me like the mall a cool Tshirt or have them make plans with a friends but yeah hope that helps

Answer 232

this is what my father did with me when I tried to act like this. within a month I straightened up.because I wasn't stupid and knew I was trying to bully everybody into letting me be lazy since I was 14 not 5.



Step1: throw away ALL HER ELECTRONICS. everything. I mean everything. let her do her homework with a pencil. make her get off her azz and go visit her friends face to face but no sleepovers. if she tries to sleepover without permission call the police and report her as missing. and if the parents she is staying with wont bring her back voluntarily also tell the police they kidnapped your daughter.



Step2: padlock ALL the food.till she agree's to help with the chores and make straight A's in school she only gets beans and potatoes , and other foods with no seasoning like salt and pepper or butter.only the basic foods to keep her healthy but with no seasoning.and 1 apple or banana for her meals breakfast lunch and dinner. and if she backmouths once during the day or throws 1 fit take the banana or apple away because little kids that throw temper tantrums don't get treats. no snacks like chips, no soda, no juice, and no sweet treats like candy or cookies. until she shapes up she is on the same diet they practice in the military 60 years ago. it was good enough for gramps to win the war its good enough for her to live on as a punishment.



step3 and the final step that set me straight.: no sleepovers and no friends over and this all lasts for 6 months and if you mess up and start behaving like a savage again after its all over you get right back to no fun and no electronics. and as for the electronics you threw out before? those remain gone forever. the price for disrespecting your family and making bad grades in school. if your good and you pass to the next grade this year I will get you an iPhone for Christmas.



this was an extremely harsh punishment but I was behaving EXACTLY LIKE YOUR DAUGHTER and this set me straight. it reminded me that I didn't buy anything my dad did and I had better treat him with respect because he is keeping me alive.

Answer 233

Work on your relationship with her. Spend time together. Set limits on the gaming. Allow gaming time to be contingent on being helpful at home. Don t allow her to stay up all hours or be on Skype with unknown people at any hour. Give consequences for rude and abusive behavior. Don s wait for your daughter to behave well to "earn" the time together. Do spend time together just because you are family and want to be a more caring family.Reinforce and reward small steps toward better behavior. Read some books on parenting. Go to counseling together.

Answer 234

Turn off the wifi for a week, then sit down and come up with a contract for your daughter. Clearly spell out in the contract what her chores are and what you will give her for getting them done. I would not include skyping anywhere in the contract unless it is done in the living room or kitchen where you can see who she is talking to. It may be the whole family will have to pay for her misbehavior and get rid of the internet for a while, but it will break her addiction to the game.

Answer 235

don't let her see her friends unless she has done ALL her chores

Answer 236

Take away everything, all homework and computer use in a common room where you can watch.

She has to earn trust.

Answer 237

Take away her phone and tell her to do some chores (your choice how many chores to do and what) then give her her phone back

Answer 238

Im 15 & my dad thought i wasnt involved in enough activities or anything so he forced me into cadets! It gives discipline & good for a future job.

Answer 239

She could be depressed ...

Answer 240

I would suggest changing the WiFi password on a regular basis, and making her earn the password by doing chores/homework, and acting in a respectful manner.



As far as Minecraft is concerned, she would still be able to play without WiFi so that is a different issue. I one that can only be solved by confiscating electronics. You stated that she is usually able to find them, so the only other course of action.is to threaten to shut off cell phone unless she can get her act together or pay for the service out of her own pocket.



Offer her the choice to perform chores or participate in sports/activities in return for her cell phone/electronics being paid for. In the end, your main power over he is the fa let that you have income and she does not.

Answer 241

instead of taking away her belongings try to talk to her about it. maybe it's something more serious than just 'teenage' behaviour. i'm 17 and i was acting quite similar to this when i was severely depressed. all i did was stay on my computer and sleep all day.

Answer 242

Make her get a io and pay her own bills

Answer 243

wow minecraft's not even a good game

Answer 244

Maybe unplugging and removing the electronic devices and devising a way to earn them back could help?

Answer 245

Take family trips to inspire her

Answer 246

Find a reputable counsellor or a figure of authority to visit her, speak to her..

Give her encouragement and teach her about the life out there.

Bring her to places, bring her overseas and show her life support that will be able to spur her up in her interest.

Maybe she is really interested in design and interiorism, Architecture also sounds like what she likes,

Maybe you can find someone of a testimony of a gamer, architecture, teacher.

Answer 247

Let her be lazy.



She gets to be lazy. She is only 14.



Now, once she's 18, if she's still lazy, kick her out.

Answer 248

call your cell phone company shut her's off...go to the computer and place a time frame on it so its only on at a set time .....mommy I want what ever ...........daughter I need you to do this then you get that ....tough love

Answer 249

Shes doing fine

Answer 250

Im an 18 yr. guy not sure hwo much help ill be but ill try. I played tons of sports was exteemly active with friends ect till i was 12 i started getting bullyed after going to middle school and dropped out od mymsocial life comepletely. i didnt know what todo and the only place i found accepting of me was video games. I started to play them more and more. I had no friends and my parents taking them away only caused me to stare at walls ect. I had no clue what todo with my life. i figured nobody cared about me nobody wanted to be ,y friend. so i spent years till i was a junior i highschool paying games and doing medicore in school. That year a kid in one of my classes reached out to me and changed my life. he got me togo to some dances and it was the first time i thought about girls as something other than offlimits my social life started again and i branched out. The biggest tip that i can give tomyou is to help her get a friend or a few of them. go to school events she will relizes what shes been miassig and slowly start to come out of her hole. it will take time it took me awhile but if you give her something to come out for she will come. soery foe typos im on my phone.

Answer 251

Once you find electronics as a part of your life, I think it effects you in a way that is almost irreversible and is slightly different for everyone.

Im only 14 myself but I don't think much can be done here, sorry.

Answer 252

Get all computers and IPhones out of the house. have them at a friends or relatives house temporary. First , check your browser and who she has been emailing and skycap.See if you can block those persons who have emailing and skycape her.

She might be doing or showing adult things when she is skycaping at night with boys.

You and the child need family counseling. ASAP.

Your daughter is showing a destructive behavior pattern.

Answer 253

she is like my older daughter

Answer 254

It's a very crushing period of any child. So, every one should carefully handle them. You should tel her to done there duties at a time. Hopefully they can understand and there laziness will be gone after some time.

Answer 255

Take apart your electronics.

Kill the internet.

Delete the software.

Answer 256

Throw her out. Just kidding. But anyways take her computer and put it in your own room. So at night lock your bedroom.

Answer 257

teach her slowly

Answer 258

Whoop her ***.

Answer 259

My sister sounds EXACTLY the same

Answer 260

Cut the internet off and tell her unless she works for it (does chores or gets a job) she will not get to do all of what she does. She needs to be much more respectful towards you. Be tough with her. Who cares if she throws a tantrum, throw one too and show her how childish that is, put up with it until she gets tired of her own tantrums. And skyping with boys at night could be dangerous, she could be distributing 'revealing' images of herself and at her age that is distribution of inappropriate child images which is illegal and she will get in big trouble.



Try and find the underlying issues to this behaviour, it could be depression, read up about it, talk to her, reach out to her, and help her, but you have to be tough with her as well.

Answer 261

Well, when I was 14, I was bullied heavily by my peers, so I stayed home and played video games. But I wasn't addicted to them, as I also studied the martial art of taekwondo.



It may have something to do with how she's treated at school.

Answer 262

She needs a better role model. she's 14, tough love is ok but people here are forgetting about the love part. find out what she is interested in, try to establish a good relationship with her. I have the same problem by the way and kids learn by example, they need to be shown.

Answer 263

Dont take her electronic devices away dont be silly.

Doesnt achieve anything. Nor would a psychiatrist. Multivitamins, good sleep, good balance, exercise sunlight, get her involved. Ofc a 14 year olds gonna be stressy and throw tantrums. Make sure she knows ur still in charge.

Answer 264

Additions can be initiated first through hypnosis. Those war games and similar games, featuring mystic creatures, on computer are hypnotic because they involve supernatural participation; (demons)! If this is the case with your daughter and many other kids; then, the first step is that you have to convince her of the danger that she is in by her regularly participating in those games online. Those games are draining and captivating at the same time. Thus, the participants unwitting become weary victims without even knowing it. Part of the hypnosis causes the victim to turn on whomever attempts to pull them away from the game, because the wicked spirit creature that has gained control over the victim through the video game wants to continue their control over their victim until they die of exhaustion or their victim commits suicide!

Answer 265

Deprive her of any type of electronic equipment. Force her to do something, and slap her in her mouth when she complains about it. Everyone needs to be disciplined somehow. Also, if she cusses you out about it, tie her up and lock her out of the house for an hour. <.< haha, jk. Anyways, occupy her with other activities. Make her change her lifestyle for sure. Give her no money and keep her away from friends. Talk to her about being an ungrateful b*tch, and she'll turn out just fine!

Answer 266

All these big *** paragraph answers...Your other option would be let her play, and turn her into a pro and make a career. Have you heard of "Twitch"?

Answer 267

Spank her

Answer 268

You could send her to the show "Beyond Scared Straight" or simply take away her computer and give her a job. There are plenty of summer jobs for teenagers. Hope this helps!

Answer 269

make her do it

Answer 270

Start by reading her messages from these boys see what she is talking to them about and things go from there

Answer 271

Let her be 14.

Answer 272

It sounds like she is depressed. You need to get her into therapy.

Answer 273

I know you said that taking away the electronics didnt work but I think taking them away permanently is the way to go, sounds extreme, but honestly giving away the laptop or disconnecting the phone is the best way to go. I am 15 and being disconnected from the internet feels good.

Answer 274

I was at one point addicted to gaming at that age and showed the same signs as your daughter. What helped me was a camping trip at the beach with a friend, the exposure to the sun was enough to improve my mood, and being on the beach kept me active yet wasn't physically or mentally taxing.

Answer 275

My cousin did this she is bi-polar, I would have her see a therapist, she may be being bullied as well, that can cause withdraws.

Answer 276

Get her a boyfriend so she can be more social .

Answer 277

teach her

Answer 278

Simply limit her time on the computer, and for Gods sake get rid of Skype.

Answer 279

Minecraft is pretty extensive but at the same time you should be encouraging her to go outdoors. Make her feel that you need her help whether it's getting groceries helping out cooking or whatever!

Answer 280

Get her a Banjo and have her sing country songs.

Answer 281

cut off the internet, thats what I would do. CHange the wifi password and that should force her to come and talk to you.

Answer 282

Try leaving her along mom, geez

Answer 283

Boot camp

Answer 284

Well if you're approaching the situation in the role of "the punisher" you're going about it all wrong. Most people don't respond well to THAT type of behavior. Her kicking and screaming and crying and getting upset is just a response to your hellraiser behavior. You can't fight fire with fire.

Answer 285

She's a totally normal 14 year old. I would get a tutor to help out with the math.

Answer 286

She could be depressed 😕

Answer 287

First take her camping for 2 weeks and learn how to live in the wilderness. Then consider moving to a farm, because its the best place to earn a work ethic. Work ethic or motivation is one of the most important things in modern life, and on a farm you may be able to convince her that she has to do her daily work or the farm/family is going to go broke or something. Good Luck!!

Answer 288

Don't listen to Megan doing that will piss her off and make her rebel against you it's her choice to live that way it's her life she controls it your best choice is to let her live her way and don't take electronics away it'll cause a rebellion

Answer 289

pack that loser off to reform school.

Answer 290

A complete medical workup is in order. Both Physical and Mental.

Before you give up on this child. Lets find out if there are reasons

for this type of behavior exhibit.

Answer 291

If your daughter is lazy you should get some help from doctor or an expert of human behaviors

Answer 292

I'm a 14 year old myself and

Answer 293

Sounds just like my now 18 year old daughter. She did all of this because sjhe wanted to go live with her older half-sister. And she got her wish. She did stuff like that to make us look bad so she could go live with her sister. Glad to have her gone. Peace reigned in this house. For a bit. Now the kid i have to deal with is her father. :/

Answer 294

spanking... its kinda cruel but it works.. notice how kids who have got spankings are more discpilened and plus they listen to their parents.. im 13 and spankings really grounded me. I use to call my mom names but when I got a spanking I am more respectful and my life is much better because I was in a bad place back then. - from a 16 year old



WHY ARE YOU LETTING HER SKYPE RANDOM BOYS?? that is a no no!! oh my god do you know all the things that could happen to your freaking daughter?? she could be skyping and talking to pedophiles. please take away your child's devices. you should hide them a another relatives house or take them straight away from her. also don't let her yell at you because YOU are the parent. don't let them ur kid get their way because it usually turns out bad. trust me I know and ive gone through alot

Answer 295

There is nothing you can do to make her change her behavior. Her actions may be caused by her becoming a young lady/ woman. Or, and I sincerely hope this isn't the case she may be getting into drugs. Keep a watchful eye on her.

Answer 296

Live more like parents in the 1960s and earlier.

What you are seeing is not the main problem. The main problem is that she has not been receiving the discipline that all children need to receive. While it will be more difficult now than if she was seven, you should still provide her both the love and the discipline she needs.

Answer 297

Kids are so sorry these days. Most have bipolar and are proud of it.

Answer 298

You should probably try a psychiatrist or a therapist or even both

Answer 299

She needs a survival course. Let her stay in a third world country for a year.

Answer 300

Change the wi fi password. Maybe even hiding her computer at a friends house is possible (A friend she hasn't heard of. Or you could hide it at the place where you work). Bring her into counseling. It works. Good luck

Answer 301

You should try a reward system of chores. This will help her be motivated, for example, after completing all daily chores without having to be told every two weeks, maybe take her out as a treat?

Answer 302

is it possible that as she was growing up, you allowed her to behave in this way, yet different situations? was she always babied, not taught responsibility, you handled everything for her, and gave in to her every whim? if that is the case, then she had learned this behaviour because she was taught by you. if she ran the show when she was little, then that is what she is still doing now. it is difficult to manage her at this age, because it should have been done when she was growing up. she sounds like she may be on the road to the school of "hard knocks" eventually as she gets older she will have to suffer the consequences of her unruly, disrespectful, defiant behaviour(jail)

Answer 303

Let her enjoy old man

Answer 304

Im lazy too

Answer 305

Take her to see a regular doctor for a check up. Maybe he or she can advise you best.

Answer 306

psychiatrist

Answer 307

It's not that bad!! Just try to keep her busy!

Answer 308

take her to a psychologist

Answer 309

Make her get a job, more money, thank god, and sure she had a bat mitzvah

Answer 310

maybe you should try my appoach we had this co worker we nick name Godzilla, he was a bear to work with. I started working with him and just kept being polite and eventually we became friends and it was ok.



My dad seldom if ever yelled at us, he was polite and firm, he showed us kids respect and I obeyed him. Just keep showing her good will and maybe she will turn around.

Answer 311

Spank her. That'll be sexy.

Answer 312

SPANK her!

Answer 313

Make her do some interesting stuff. Ask her what would she like to do besides playing Minecraft all day.

Answer 314

Same as when I was a kid. You did your chores and helped out or did not eat. Let alone computer or other things. Wait we did not get electric till 1969 same year I got out of school.

Answer 315

Take away her electronics and tell her to get her lazy but up and do something then she'll get her stuff back

Answer 316

You are in tough situation.Don't be disheartened.Get closer to her,exchange views and some times go for outing together.I think situation will improve.

Answer 317

Try talking to her. She may just want some attention and isn't sure how to express that without seeming like she wants sympathy. That's all teens want...for their parents to treat them like young adults.

Answer 318

Do you wear a belt? Use it. And dispose of her electronics and ground her for life.

Answer 319

Yes there is....it's called acting like a parent.

Answer 320

take your belt and slap her with it

Answer 321

Take it away. In fact take all her sh't away, until she earns it back. Are you or are you not the parent?

Answer 322

Oh dear , I think that this is really very sad to you and sad to me to hear that .Because this is not a good idea or things . I know she spend more times on computer but she does not do anything and she spent useless time and i think that she is addicted on computer , so I think that computer affection is good and addicted is really very bad to all of . So try your best to give up her from computer .

thanks

Answer 323

I think, sometimes Internet, games, computer is harmful for child. Over using it become addicted to child . sometimes it create mentally problem. you have to careful about it. now your daughter need a recovery. visit a specialist for your daughter. Always pray God helps you

Answer 324

Break the computer on her face and beat her up

Answer 325

SHES PROBABLY LAZY BECAUSE INSTEAD OF CONNECTING WITH HER YOUR ON YAHOO ANSWERS ASKING FOR HELP! DUDE SHES YOUR DAUGHTER TALK TO HER! I'M 13 I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IM SAYING

Answer 326

all kids do it im doing it now.

Answer 327

I'd threaten to throw her in foster care. You're not really going to do that but it will scare her ****less!

Answer 328

Mom is dat u????????

Answer 329

Well One... give her a swift kick in the ***.. Two try adding password on your wifi. Three.. Buy a safe, hide the game, computer in there and hide the key.

Answer 330

Spanking always worked for me.

Answer 331

I had the same issue like your daughter, I was addicted to video games and would not let anyone play my games but it just passed away over time hopefully the same happens to you daughter! Good luck!

Answer 332

Hate to break it to you but that's what teenagers do. Welcome to the 21st century, where we don't go outside and play hopscotch all day long. As for behavior, sit her down and talk! Easy!

Answer 333

Just two words buddy. These two words are what every kid fears. No kid would want their parent to say these two words... Are you ready? MILITARY SCHOOL! Their I said it. If you take your kids their for a few months. They will come back as a whole new person. Its scary and awesome! :)

Answer 334

In order to get back the other.