I'm not raising a daughter, but I have a son and have been around my young nieces. This issue came up with all 3 of them.
I used this with my son. Whipped out my cell phone and pretended to call the hockey coach (feel free to substitute Grandpa, Daddy, Santa Claus) and say "he just can't behave, please give his uniform to a little boy that can behave and his ice skates to a boy that doesn't shout. Thank you coach" my son would be a West Point cadet by the end of that phone call, willing to behave from that point on.
When it comes to handling it, I also watched my sister and how she dealt with her two daughters.
1. get at eye level with them, holding both their hands
2. speak in a level tone of voice, don't smirk or smile
3. tell them you will not listen to them unless they use a nice voice
4. if they cannot use a nice voice, they can sit in timeout until they find their nice voice
5. sit them in a timeout for a period of 2 minutes, if they persist
At the end of the timeout, repeat steps 1 thru 3
Next timeout extends to 3 minutes, then repeat 1 thru 3
They will get tired of hearing the same phrase over and over and it will break their will power.
During the time out, you use that time to decompress.
You can seriously put soft foam earplugs in your ears, if you need to. If they scream in your face, it won't harm your ears.
Consistency is the key.
it may take an entire day, and most of your energy, but it will work if you stand your ground.
Good luck to you ~