chances of judge granting my request?

Question

I live in AZ and I have what is called a "resolution management conference" tomorrow afternoon with my ex husband regarding custody of our 7 year old daughter.

This all started on 12-3 when my daughter got into my car and told me her father had angrily punched her in the back of her head (where 3 staples were from a previous injury) b/c she did not stick with a lie he'd told me. I did call CPS on this matter and filed for full custody. CPS was not helpful but i'm fast learning in our state, they are a complete joke-nothing ever gets resolved.

in this meeting, my ex (and his attorney) and I are to try and work out a solution to the custody issues while in the court room with the judge present. the meeting is informal where we can openly talk back and forth (but nothing hostile or derogatory is allowed to be said) and NO evidence is allowed either.

My plan is, once the judge opens the meeting up for discussion, I am going to ask him that before we even began to discuss working out a plan that we entertain the idea of holding a parent conference so that our 7 year old daughter can be interviewed by a court appointed psychologist since the custody switch is in HER best interest. most of the issues that I am raising concern about (besides the alleged incident of abuse) were told to me by our daughter-usually on the car ride home from his house or during times when it was just us. add to it-my ex lives alone with our daughter. the issues being raised are:

-daughter came home and told me about a porn DVD she'd found on her portable dvd player he bought her for christmas last year. stated to me "it had naked men and women on it that were doing very yucky things." when I asked her where her dad was when she found this, she said he was asleep so she took it out of the player and put the disk back in his room. he told her not to tell me when he woke up. A judge NEEDS to hear my daughter tell someone besides me this!!

-our daughter admits to not sleeping in her own bed but sleeping in bed with her dad. while not necessarily harmful, I find this not healthy for a 7 year old girl. She has her own room and her own bed-she needs to be using it.

-Our daughter stating that her father is giving her his prescribed medications (baby aspirins-dangerous to children, and his inhaler when our daughter has NEVER been diagnosed with asthma). again-a judge NEEDS to hear her tell a neutral third party this information

-our daughter stating that her dad sleeps all day long when he has her and she is not in school. she tells me that she has to make her own breakfast and sometimes lunch because he was awake all night and now is too tired to care for her during the day. she also states that she entertains herself by watching tv and my ex has uncensored satelitte tv-Judge NEEDS to hear this from our child.

-daughter has missed 10 days of school and has been late 12 times from August to November due to her father.

I feel that the only way a FAIR ruling and one that is truly in our daughter's BEST interest can be made is if the parent conference i'm requesting is held, our daughter is talked to (afterwards the interviewer types up a report and makes a ruling suggestion to the judge) THEN a fair ruling can be made.

I have decided that if the judge decides to not have the conference and he won't interview our daughter, then I have pulled my daughter's school attendance records and per AZ law-my ex can technically be found educationally neglegent b/c our daughter was late to school more than 5 times in September which is against the law here.In addition, he has moved 5 times in the 3 years we've been divorced (and he doesn't work so it's not for that) and I have several police reports from EACH address for wellness checks done on our daughter by neighbors b/c they witnessed known drug dealers coming in and out of his home. I am going to point out that I have evidence to support this and then ask that my ex only be allowed custody of our daughter every other weekend.

thoughts on my parent conference being requested? I don't feel it's an unreasonable request and a ruling can't fairly be made w/out her being talked to-it was just her and dad in the house when these things supposedly happened....

Answer 1

Ok, first understand... a 7 year old stuck in the middle of a custody battle is not a reliable source of information. My parents had me stuck in the middle of their hatred for each other. (they divorced when I was 6mos) One would make me bad mouth the other, from a very young age. They would lead me in directions that were not true. (My mother would ask me if daddy 'touched' me, and at 5, I would say 'yes' because I didn't know she meant 'molested', then a huge issue would erupt)

Is it possible he playfully or accidentally hit her head?

Are you sure it's a porn. I was sure my 6 year old sis was describing a porno, it turned out to be a kid's cartoon.

Baby aspirin is not a prescribed med. It is for children. If you do not want her taking children's aspirin, tell him. Also, he could just be letting her suck on the empty cartridge of his inhaler to be just like daddy. I would take my mom's empty lipstick tubes.

And although it stunts a child's mental development to sleep in their parent's bed... I doubt he's effing her or anything sicko like that.

Your case is based entirely on the testimony of a baby, and hearsay. I'm sorry to say it, but you don't have a good case.



I've been in your daughter's shoes before. It took me many years of intense therapy to fix what my parents did to me. Don't get your daughter caught up in your hatred for your ex. It will end up hurting her. I emancipated at 16 and I refuse to speak to my parents unless needed. I can not forgive them for using me to get back at each other. I don't know if they knew what they were doing, but they were extremely selfish and childish. I was stuck in horrible custody battles, that had nothing to do with me, and more to do with their immaturity. One of my parents attempted to kill me when they lost a giant custody/ child support battle, I ended up having to hurt my parent pretty badly. I beat myself up for it everyday, but I had to do it. Don't let it come to that, please, for your daughter.



Understand, I'm not standing up for your ex. If this is true, he should rot. I just want you to have an open mind, so you don't end up screwing your daughter in the end. Don't badmouth him when she's around. Even if he's badmouthing you. Your daughter will notice that you're nicer, and she wont be caught in a he did she did he said she said bs. If she comes home with a bad thing to say about her dad, don't give a reaction. Wait until she's at school or outside, and calmly call him up and ask about it.



I hope you can learn from my personal experiences.

Answer 2

Although CPS is a joke, they are the only ones that you can go to with this evidence. However, I would definitely bring it to court and try to get it entered for the record. I would go for full custody with no visitation if you can provide the above evidence that he is such a poor parent. I would not want my child spending ANY time with this person. She is only 7 years old and if an emergency should occur while he is asleep and not watching her, you would regret letting him have her for the rest of your life. Make sure you mention that there are SAFETY issues involved to both agencies. They have to act on SAFETY issues.

My other question is do you have a lawyer and have you presented this information to him?

Answer 3

Zero. After you get in a fight, resist arrest, fail to appear for your hearing and then use your free time to get drunk and drive, you cannot expect any further favors from the criminal justice system. In addition, two different crimes in two different counties at two different times means two different sentences in two different jails. Twice the trouble, twice the punishment.

Answer 4

There are two sides to every story, I truly hope that parental alienation syndrome isn't going on here.

I think it is a good idea to request that.