Have you ever read your kid's DIARY?

Question

I know it may be wrong... but I read my daughters diary just to see if she was up to something I wasn't aware of. It turns out I did find out something I didn't quite know about. Nothing major but it is serious enough that I am glad I know about it now.
Anyways, I've been feeling guilty that I read her diary. Is it a normal parent thing to do? Have you done that too? Would you do that?

Answer 1

You can tell the actual age---mental if not physical-- of many people here by their (outraged) answers to this question. A mother doesn't read a diary to be "nosy" or invade a child's precious privacy, they do it because they sense--like a good mother does--that their child is doing something stupid, like having unprotected sex, doing drugs, engaging in self-destructive behaviors, or running around with kids who are way too old for them--or all of the above. 99 out of a hundred moms are simply worried about their children, and that's why they try to find out what their uncommunicative teens are up to, so they can help them and ensure they don't make stupid mistakes that will ruin their lives.



I don't think you should feel guilty about doing what you did--you did it out of love, which is where most moms come from when they do that. It's no different than limiting cellphone use, requiring kids to "friend" parents on facebook, putting keyloggers on kids' computers, that kind of thing.



All kids aren't saints. We wouldn't have so many unwed teen parents who have never had a real job in their lives if that were the case. You care about your child, and good for you that you do--way too many parents are ready to let fourteen year olds be faux adults, and that's just not good. Don't feel bad--it's obvious you love your child and are worried about her.

Answer 2

No that is not a normal thing to do. You should feel horrible and guilty. I bet you your daughter would be crushed if she found out you were reading her diary. The only time you should be reading her diary is if you thought she was in some kind of danger. A diary is where someone can put their most personal thoughts. If I were you I would tell your daughter about it. If she finds out that you are snooping through her diary you are going to loose all of her trust. You sound like one of those parents that would put one of those thinking chips inside their kids brains just to know exactly what they are thinking. Your daughter deserves to have her own private thoughts. Put yourself in her position, would you want your mom or anyone for that matter to be reading your personal thoughts? She should come to you if she has any problems. Other than that, stay out of her diary mom.

Answer 3

well i have't but my kids aren't old enough..but i can say from the other side..my mom read mine i was so pissed of at her..cause those were my private thoughts and things i did and dreams about things i wanted for my future...i was very open with my mom about things but some thing i wanted to keep to myself..cause it's not like my mom told me everything about what she was doing or did in the past..for the i was very hurt by the invasion of privacy..so after that i stopped using my diary and for awhile i didn't tell her anything..which hurt her cause we were very close..eventually we had a long talk about it..and worked things out..i still haven't wrote in a diary since..oh and i found out cause i had 2 locks on it and the locks were always put on a certain way..well she goofed on the way and i asked her about it..

although i think it's a natural way of seeing if ur daughter's being careful i also see as it being sorta noisy and wrong...

Answer 4

I don't have children yet but if I did I wouldn't unless she's asking strange questions. I have never kept a diary before because I believed its just welcoming someone into your deep thoughts from the bottom of your heart when you though that it was secure! Now doesn't that feel unfair? Listen far be it for me to be judging you but that's a bit unfair on your daughters side. You now know her secret thoughts and she is unaware. From now on please just only read her diary if she is acting strange.

Answer 5

No, personally I have never done that. But maybe if I started feeling suspicious, I would. But that is just because my niece is just 12. If she was like 16, I would give her privacy. I don´t want her to read my personal stuff, then why should I be reading hers? I even write poetry and I don´t want her to read it, I simply don´t. Once it´s published, she can read it if she wants to but until then she is not allowed to. Same goes for me and her diary. If she wanted me to read it, I would. Otherwise there is no reason for me to do that, yet alone secretly! She is a sweet smart kid and she has given me no reason to invade her privacy. I do not really think it is normal for parents to do that unless they have a specific reason.

Answer 6

My step daughter is 13 and while she doesn't keep a diary, her dad and I do randomly read some of her text messages online. We want to make sure she isn't doing anything that could land her in more trouble later.

Answer 7

No, I wouldn't do that. My mother did that to me when I was a child, and it was just the beginning of her violating my privacy and breaking my trust. Because she preferred to snoop and spy instead of keeping an open dialogue with me, we were never close and I never felt coming to her to discuss important matters. I haven't spoken to or seen her in several years.

Answer 8

I don't think she has one - if she does, I haven't read it.



However, I do look at her facebook page. It's a condition of her having facebook.

Answer 9

I would NEVER unless I had suspicions that she was getting involved with drugs, illegal activites, etc.

Even then I'd ask her first before snooping.

Answer 10

does it matter so much that you must worry about it? you are the parent, you are the one responsible to take care of her, and if something is going on, it is your right to know EVERYTHING simply bcus you are the parent...

Answer 11

yes

Answer 12

got curious