Your way of timeout...?

Question

I see that many parents go on here and ask other people for advice on how to "discipline" their lil ones. Well here I want you all to tell us your way of putting your lil ones in "timeout" and how you get your lil ones to understand right from wrong! No one is here to judge anyone...we ALL have our own ways of disciplining our own kids! So how is your way?

Answer 1

We practiced for the real world at home. We let logical consequences teach the lesson as much as possible. A critically important thing for parents to remember is to never make idle threats or empty promises. An example of an idle threat is, "If you do that ONE MORE TIME you are going in the house." Then the child does it ONE MORE TIME and the parent ignores it. An example of an empty promise is, "Once you unload the dishwasher, we'll go play catch outside", but once the child does his part, the parent gets busy doing something else and doesn't follow through. Both of these things - idle threats and empty promises tell the child that his or her parent is not serious about things, is a liar, and won't follow through.



From the time they were little, our girls all participated in things like cleaning up the house - that is what we as a family do, we work together and everyone helps. When they were younger, they needed more guidance and then as they got older, they gradually took on more and more responsibilities for themselves.



Our girls are now ages 28, 20, and 17 and all are responsible people who manage themselves in society very well.



I *highly* recommend the book Parenting With Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay.

Answer 2

I used timeout a few times with my now 10 year old child. One of the things I quickly discovered was that sitting in a chair for 2 minutes did nothing to her,so I took away the comfortable chair and made her stand against a wall.If I had to ask twice for her not to do something then she was made to go and stand against the wall until I decided to let her return to whatever she was doing prior. If she cried I made her face it and if she was silent I let her face outward. If I let her go after less than 10 minutes then she went straight back to misbehaving. It didn't take long for her to make the connection of 'if i do what Otei(Slovak for daddy) says don't do I won't be having any fun for a while.' When she got older even this had no effect, so I had to get a bit tougher and start smacking.

Answer 3

I give a warning first and if the behavior is repeated, kiddo sits facing the corner- 1 minute for every year of age. TV or anything else possibly entertaining to them is turned off. When the timer goes off, I get down on eye level and reiterate why they were in timeout in the first place.



I don't default to timeout though. I can tell when the kid is just tired/hungry/has another valid reason for being a little stinkpot and try to rectify why they're a grump in the first place. I try redirection too first.

Answer 4

I'm not entirely sure how we'll end up doing it, since the baby isnt born yet. My husband and I have spent a lot of time thinking about it though (we are older first time parents), and this is our plan. It is recommended children sit in time out for 1 minute per year, so if they are 5 years old, five minutes. This will be a basic guideline. So they'll go in time out, calm down, reflect (to the best of their abilities) on what they did to earn a time out. After the period is up, or if they are having a temper tantrum. after that is over, we will have a discussion with them about why they were in time out. The few minutes will give us the chance to calm down, figure out what we're going to say, and articulate what we wanted the child to learn. We will ask open ended questions like "Why did you hit tommy?" "what could you have done instead?" "how would you feel if you were tommy?" "what should happen next time I see you hit tommy?" etc After the discussion, I would ask for a hug, or a hand shake if they were too upset, and they could resume their day.

Answer 5

I babysit all the time, if I'm putting a kid in timeout, I make them sit in one spot not making any noise for at least ten minutes or longer depending why they're in timeout, and when their time is up I make sure they won't do whatever they did again. They know its wrong

Answer 6

My way?



They get two pre warnings, then a mini out, and then a time out if it continues.



The first time warning is me telling them what to do right then (be quiet etc;)

The second is me telling the,m they will get a time out if they don't do it/stop it NOW.

Third time is a minute per year of them sitting on a kitchen stool. They don't have to be silent, but I won't talk to them. Ey can fidget etc; on it but if they actually move off it, time out starts again. If they move of two times, they go onto the full time out.



Full time out is very rare. It's for either, after a mini out, continuing the behaviour, OR if it's serious and I need them to calm down and think abou it for a longer time OR if they get off the stool etc; two times or more in the mini out. It usually doesn't come to it, in fact, I'd say last time I did it was ooh...seven months ago? It's 1min30secs per year so not exactly serious. My 4yo would get 6mins, my 6yo would get 9mins etc;



I do it if they're getting really het up and out of control of their emotions. I sit them on the stool and tell them it's their time to calm down and get away from it all. The mini is usually straight out sitting down, but they can fidget around etc; of course and if they're good after the mini out, then they get a sticker on their sticker chart or if they were say, having a tantrum, and manage to calm down on the mini out, they get praised loads and usually get a tiny treat of some form (like, a 10 pence type thing or some mummy time). It's not punishment, it's to give them time to get away from what's making them emotional, angry etc; So it's not something I'd do for lying, stealing or school stuff for example, but a mini tantrum, throwing toys or something....yes. At the end, we have a small talk about why had a time out and I usually ask them a few questions about why they had to go on time out.



Like I said, full time out isnt very serious, but again, rarely used. Depending what they do, it's either a straight however long of them on time out with talk at end, or it's a time out with a small phonics book or something like that. I've found it really helps to give them something to fiddle with or squeeze, my 6yo gets a stress ball (I got it as a birthday present but had no need for it and it helps her) and my 4yp gets a soft toy or something or some elastic bands even, or a squishy ball thing. I think it's hard for young kids to sit still and I also think it's unproductive. They MUST sit on that stool, but it lets out their emotions and their anger or whatever or simple rebelliousness by squishing, squeezing, pulling, fiddling etc; and is less awkward for them but still concentrates their mind and has the same effect.



It's their breakfast stool. It's got a cushion on it so is quite easy to sit on, they can swing their legs, whatever. Regardless of whether it's a mini or a full time out, it gets pulled to the corner (facing out of the corner though) and they can sit and fiddle or sit in silence.



They can talk if they want, cry in anger (but actual crying, I wouldn't let happen obviously...I'd get them off it straight away for a hug to find out why they were crying because it's no way a normal reaction so speaks of something else entirely, possibly connected or their bad behaviour....and if they're really upset, it's not right to keep them there when they need comfort. It's easy to tell the difference between tears of rage and actual tears of sadness), scream, whatever. The only rule is, they stay on that stool.