Single Mum - stay at home or go to work?

Question

I am in a dilemma as I have no savings left and my only option left is the DPB. I am a single mum with a tiny family (1 other person who works and lives seperately) so not really an adequate support system. I have my own home however we will have NO extras, and we will be just scraping by to pay the bills and I will be eating cheese/spaghetti/mince on toast until out situation improves. I don't want to leave my son in daycare, the thought crushes me. Should I get over this and just go back to work full time? Is money more important than being home all day with my son? We do lots of things together with other mums (free things) and he interracts with other babies regularly. Help??? I am not used to living on the bones of my bum and don't know if I can do it!!!

Answer 1

If you can't find a job that pays more than your child care costs, don't even bother working. But if you get lucky, take advantage of it, especially if it's part time. It's a good idea to do something outside of being a mum, even if only to freshen up your mind a bit. If you really can't make it work economically, you may consider volunteer work in the community, something that welcomes children.

Answer 2

It's not a matter of money being more important than staying home with your child -- it's a matter of being able to afford the necessities in life. If you want to continue "scraping by", by all means stay home. But if you want to give your son a chance at a bright future, you need to go to work. It's not as if by going to work you'll have no time for him at all -- you will simply need to make the time QUALITY time instead of QUANTITY time. And having the income from your job may ease some of the financial stress your under, which believe it or not, will make you a better parent in the long run. You won't have to worry over every little thing any more. And your son will probably thrive in daycare, imagine the things he'll be able to learn in a structured learning and play environment!



What you need to do is think of all the positive things that will come from having a full time job and your child being in daycare. He will benefit from the structure, he will absorb new things (lessons, games, etc.) like a little sponge and be all the better for it. You will not have to stress over money; things may get comfortable for you financially so that both you and your son can have a better life. AND perhaps you can save money for your son's future education. No matter how you look at it, going to work will be a good thing for you both.



**Add**

In reply to your added comments, I am 41. I have two kids. I stayed home with them until I could no longer afford to do so and then I returned to work. I know what you're going thru from experience. It was hard leaving them and it was a major adjustment for us all. But it was truly for the best. I am able to provide so much for them now. I no longer have to choose between groceries and medicine (if they were sick). When it gets to the point that you cannot afford to stay home because you're simply scraping by, it's time to rethink your situation, as hard as that might be. Your son's future is in your hands and if you have the chance to make that a brighter place, then you should do everything you can to make it so. And sometimes that means making the very difficult decision to leave them in order to return to the workforce. Trust me, your son will be fine -- he will continue to thrive and so will you.

Answer 3

Well you need to do what is best for you and your child. I would say go back to work. Day care can be a good thing for a child. Do your research though, there should be community help with choosing a good daycare even your local Social Services office should be able to help you find one and even pay for some of it if you qualify

Answer 4

Well you need to do what is best for you and your child. I would say go back to work. Day care can be a good thing for a child if you know the right people and truth them

Answer 5

If you can work part time or full time I say go for it. Either you cut everything deemed unnecessary out of your lives (t.v., etc.) or you at least work part time to have a bit of extra money for savings.

Answer 6

It is always difficult to make the decision whether to go out to work or stay home with your child, especially when staying home means you barely survive - but going out to work is not necessarily the answer either - it's almost a catch 22.



I too was desperate with four children to support, an illness, no partner etc. I chose a home based business opportunity as it was the only way I could have the best of both worlds. My business has taken time to build and certainly didn't make me a fortune in the first couple of months, but, it has grown now the point that I can comfortably stay at home and earn the money I needed.



It's another option for you to look at. I'll share with you some information that I found when looking at opportunities working from home as that in itself can be a daunting task and one can often give up the search before they come across the legitimate sources.



So, I guess for starters, it depends on whether you want to look into a work at home JOB or a work from home business opportunity as to whether my comments will be relevant to you. Regardless, I hope my answer will be of some benefit to you.



Let me share with you a little of my experience and add my two cents worth.



There are many businesses opportunities advertised on the internet, many of them legitimate, successful businesses, many of them not!



It takes diligence to weed out what's what.



Without intending to pin tickets on myself, I consider myself a reasonably well educated person with professional training and life experience behind me, but........



I have been 'taken for a ride' with a couple of online opportunities offering much and providing little - or less - nothing. I lost money when I could least afford it and I became very angry. Not as much as you though - I feel for you.



Having said that, I was also desperate to improve my financial situation and being a 'suddenly single' mother of four who has health issues, I felt that home based business was the only way to go.



So, I started researching - DETERMINED NEVER TO BE SCAMMED AGAIN.



In short, here's what I've discovered:



For any business to be legitimate, it must offer either a product or a service. If it doesn't offer product or service then it is a scam and illegal.



Be aware of get rich quick schemes - there is no such thing. Any legitimate business takes work and effort on your part and requires building. It takes time to build the foundations of any venture - how much time is dependent on your own efforts and relatively speedy advancement is certainly achievable if you are prepared to put in the hours. (As the saying goes, if it sounds too good to be true then it probably is.)



Ensure the organization offers full support and training. It's easy to sign someone up for a business but it takes commitment and effort on the part of the enroller to train and support you in your efforts. Make sure you are not going to outlay your money and then be left with no communication or help.



And speaking of money - determine how much the business is going to cost you to get started and what that fee actually gets you. If it only gets you permission to view a certain website then I'd seriously think again.



It is reasonable to expect some start-up and on-going costs in a legitimate business - no such thing as a free lunch - but determine, not only how much is will cost you to start but more importantly, what your ongoing costs will be. A business may be low cost to start but then require an outlay of thousands of dollars each month to qualify you for your pay.



Don't be forced, convinced, badgered or 'talked into' committing to a cost which is above your budget, no matter what the apparent 'limited' offer may be. Many scammers offer you a reduced price but 'only for today' for instance. If a prospective business partner is not prepared to help you achieve success without causing you undue financial stress, then I'd be steering way clear. You know how much money you have to invest in your business, whether that be $50, $500, $1500 or more. Anyone offering you a business opportunity should be able to cater to your budget to a certain degree.



Ensure than any organisation you are looking at joining is listed with the Direct Selling Association. Direct Selling and Multi Level Marketing businesses are very legitimate and legal and are certainly not pyramid. Pyramid schemes are illegal. MLM and Direct Selling businesses are very, very profitable if conducted in the correct way. Check the company's Compensation Plan to see what benefits you are entitled to and how teams are structured. This is very important as some team structures result in a high attrition rate, which benefits no-one.



I am currently involved in my own very successful home business and whilst it is not my intention necessarily to promote my own business here, I encourage you to visit my website and also another link which I will post here - You will find further links on what to look for in a home based business.



http://www.sugarmums.com.au/denyseparker



http://projectsofthemonth.com



If you are serious, and I only work with people who are committed, I would love you speak with you, (just fill out the form on my website), as I know first hand that our business is achievable with full of support and training (personal training too by the way - not just website links albeit we do use the web and email as a fantastic communication tool). Our business markets revolutionary and patented health and wellness products. There is no necessity to sell or stock product, to cold call or to pester your family and friends to get started. I operate my business purely online thus far but have other options open to me should I choose. Check out the links and decide for yourself if you would like to contact me further. The choice, as always, is yours.



Regardless of whether you choose to contact me or not, I hope this information has been helpful. I understand how daunting it can be starting something new especially when the internet can make opportunities appear so intangible. I wish you well in your search and in any venture you decide to undertake.



With Best Regards,

Denyse