How do you know when you are ready to start a family?

Question

I'm 27 and have been married for 7 years. I think my husband is ready and I know it would make him really happy if I got pregnant, but I just don’t know. I don’t want to be 30 and first start to try, but I don’t know what to do. I know I would love my child beyond words, but I am just so scared! Also this is a scary world to raise children in.

Any advice would be appreciated!

Answer 1

I got pregnant unexpectedly when I was 22 and my daughter was born ten months ago. I was scared every moment of every day from the moment I saw the plus sign on the pregnancy test until I talked to people who love me, and even then I was still anxious about it. And I still get scared sometimes. This is definately a scary world, but it is also a beautiful one. And having a child reminds you of a great deal of that beauty. You get to remember what it is to look at the world in awe with your child and delight over little miracles, like spider webs and the rain drops on your skin.



And if you are most scared of the teen years, remember, they dont last very long, only six years, and as long as you teach the fundamental skills of coping with change to your child before they enter that stage, they should be able to navigate them unscathed.

Answer 2

I understand, i had my first baby at 20, he was not planned. I married the father, but then we divorced when my son was 6. I have now been married a yr to my new husband and my son is 12. We are expecting the end of sept. This baby was planned and we tried for 4 months before succeeding.

I have wanted another baby since my son was 2, but was patiently waiting until it was a matual thing. It never happened with my ex so i continued to wait.

One day my husband came home from being gone all week and told me he was ready to have a baby. (He knew i wanted more kids and has never had any himself. I told him i would wait until he was ready too)

I was so excited, yet scared too. The one thing to remember is if you wait until you are "ready financially" you may never have children. If you are already financially stable and you both want children then talk to your husband about it. Not many guys will reject the idea of trying.

My husband is 33 and i am 32 we are 28 wks pregnants and started trying about august of 06 and were successful in oct ish, but lost the baby a week before Christmas. The baby was between 5-8 wks, which is why i say oct ish. Our doctor gave us the go ahead to try again and we were successful the first try.

Most people think you have to wait months before trying again, but our doctor said there is no physical reason why you should wait to try again once you have waited 2 weeks after the bleeding stops from a miscarriage. Your body is healed by this time, at least only being 5-8wks along. Most of the reason for waiting is to recover from the loss (we had only known about a week that we were pregnant) and or to get your period back on cycle to be able to more easily predict the due date. They can find this out by blood tests and ultrasounds so, not a huge issue.

Also that miscarriage happen all the time, in most cases there is nothing you did wrong that caused it. A lot miscarriage happen when people don't even know they are pregnant yet.

This is likely more info then you wanted, but it is information i wish i would have known before trying to get pregnant to be prepared.

Being scared is normal, if you were not scared i would be concerned. We have my 12 yr old son and are all nervous, but very excited about our little girl/sister.

Don't be so afraid that you decide not to have a child, from the sounds you would not feel fullfilled without one.

Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel and get started on the baby making!!

Good luck!

Answer 3

27 is still young enough to give yourself time to think. Even if you waited until 30 to start that would not be bad. How many children do you think you want? If you only want one or two then waiting a few more years is fine. If you think you want 3 or 4 though you should consider starting soon. Are you sure you want children? or do you just feel like you are supposed to have children? If you are sure you want a child, but just feel nervous about the responsibility I'd say give yourself another year or two. During that time travel or do other things you enjoy doing that will be harder once you have a baby :)

Answer 4

You sound ready. At least as ready as you can be. It is scary raising a kid in this world or the world of 20,30, 50 years ago. The kid, whether biological or adopted, needs to be loved and taken care of. It sounds like you're ready to tackle that. Don't worry-your teen will let you know ALL the mistakes you make! LOL.

Answer 5

If you're having doubts, don't do it just yet! If you're only scared about pregnancy and all the things that happen, then you could adopt if you do want kids. It is a scary world, but you can teach them how to be safe and protected correctly. Search for a local meeting with pregnant women or people sharing your problems, then you can decide for yourself. Talking to your doctor can relieve a great deal of worry, because he'll be able to answer your questions or give details on someone who does.

Answer 6

Talk to your husband about it. Tell him what you think and if he agrees, get busy. Scary world or not, you can raise a decent child in this world. It is very hard to raise a child if your not financially stable. But if you think in your heart that you can provide for this child no matter what then i say go for it.

Answer 7

It might be a scary world, but you can raise the child in a loving home and teach him/her how to change the world.



The amount of responsibility is a shock, but by taking one day at a time, you'll get through it.

Answer 8

i understand. this is a very scary world we are in. i'm 51 and it was a very scary world i was born in. you may wnat to talk to a therapist and see if they can help you sort through your feelings about having a child. in this day and age you're starting to hear more and more about more women waiting to have children at a later age. our world is changing fast and sometimes that can be very scary to us. if you think you are scared think about your parents and grandparents and see how much things have changed for us. i was born in 1955 so i was born into a world much different to this world we have now. my generation married earlier and children earlier than what your seeing now. bless you.

Answer 9

Personally I have always considered home ownership the milestone that makes a couple ready for a family. This isn't always the case but it does show financial stability and a commitment to family.

Answer 10

when your knoced up.