Help! One of my children found something private of mine!?

Question

My husband and I have some "adult toys" hidden in our closet, and the other day I could tell someone had found them. I asked my husband and he said he hadn't touched them. This could only leave one of my children. Now, my kids are 13 and 15, and we've talked to them about sex, but this is an invasion of privacy. How should i deal with this situation without embarrassing me and my husband or my children?

Answer 1

I think Mom 2 boys gave a great answer.



I would say something like that. However, it's a bit tricky. Have you talked to your kids about the issue of privacy? I lived in a household of "what's yours is mine and mine is yours," and I really wasn't raised to keep my hands off of things that weren't mine within the house (unless it was something fragile). My mom learned the downfall of that when I was 8 and found my christmas presents in her closet.



Is this something you've brought up with them before? If it isn't, I don't think it's right to punish them, just make it clear that they shouldn't go around in your bedroom, just as you wouldn't go around in theirs.



And I would reeeeeeeally consider getting a lockable toy-box. The toibocks is probably the most popular one of my friends.

Link: http://www.edenfantasys.com/sex-toy-accessories/sex-toy-storage/toibocks#pcode-U4P

Answer 2

Well you know that kids look through everything,

Just leaving them in the cupboard they are bound to look.

That was a bit stupid don't you think?



Anyway they need to be hidden better,

Go out and buy a box with a key and keep the key in your wallet.

'Hide the box in a pillow case or something under your bed and they won't touch them.



They know what it is about, don't try to hide or deny anything because they will think your taking them for idiots.



Tell me them straight that you and your husband do have sexual toys and your sorry they had to see that, tell them that they should never feel encouraged by what you both do and go off and do anything because they are too young.



Good luck and get that box!

Answer 3

Don't bring it up just move them to a better hidden place and put something in its place. A note saying that there grounded. Check periodically to see if the things in that area has been move then bring it up.

Answer 4

TRY GETTING A LOCK BOX AND KEEP THE KEY IN YOUR PURSE. THEN JUST HAVE A CASUAL CONVERSATION ABOUT PRIVACY MAYBE AT DINNER, NOT NECESSARILY BRING UP YOUR TOYS BUT IN GENERAL. ASK THEM IF THEY THINK PRIVACY IS IMPORTANT AND WHY, MAYBE ASK THEM HOW THEY THINK THEY WOULD FEEL IF SOME ONE INVADED THEIR PRIVACY (READING A DIARY GOING THROUGH THE FACEBOOK/E-MAIL, GOING THROUGH THEIR ROOM). AND MAKE SURE THEY UNDERSTAND PRIVACY IS AS IMPORTANT TO OTHERS AS IT IS TO THEM. GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

Just say "Hey, I noticed some stuff out of place in my closet. What were you looking for?" That way they know you know, but you are busting them out.



One time my mom told me "I went looking for some pencils in your room. They are not in your nightstand." (That's where I had my stuff hidden). I was like "Oh....yea.....that's not where I keep pencils."

Answer 6

I'm sure if they found them they are plenty embarrassed enough. . .just move on and don't bring it up. I can just about guarantee they won't be looking through your adult toys ever again.

Answer 7

Lol I would leave the toys where they usually are and put a note on there saying "these are my toys not yours" this way they know you know they know and no one has to have that akward conversation.

Answer 8

continue to speak openly with your children about sex, avoid secrets, and lock things away that you don't want seen. there is no shame in a healthy loving sexual relationship, but there is a problem with snoops.

Answer 9

I would say this isn't an invasion of privacy.



You said just 3 days ago "Everyone in our household walks around naked. Me, my husband, son and daughter." https://answersrip.com/question/index?qid=20111019143804AA8gEKJ



You can walk around nude but not talk about sex with your kids???



Something doesn't sound right to me

Answer 10

Hide them better.

Answer 11

Don't bring it up. It was probably an accident and they're embarassed about it already.

Answer 12

Hide your stuff better